Sacrifices and Failures(Theodred)

[Nima Tann]

LOCATION: Temple Gardens
TIME: Morning

It was one of that routine mornings that she was spending on the Gardens and smelling the beautiful scent of the flowers in it, and a fountain that Still not in knowledge why this place wasn't crowded yet since it held so many beauties inside, yet one part of her was happy about it, since she had that shyness inside that she couldn't throw away for years. If there was a crowd than she wouldn't be that comfortable to come here and just relax. Yet of course, there were no more nightmares after their brief training with [member="Siobhan Kerrigan"], and she was happy that chapter in her life was over, not so pleasant memories should be erased. She was still on her wheelchair, yeah she could use the Force to enhance her walking yet it was painful, and she only decided to use it on very desperate situations.

As she continued meditating between the good view and the scent of thousand flowers, she sensed a familiar aura that she didn't see for... how many years now. [member="Théodred Heavenshield"], the boy of Grandmaster and Master of the Order, since he was kinda homeschooled after a while and she didn't see him playing on the exact spot she was standing right now for a long time. Yet, today he was here. She didn't know why, since his presence was almost forgotten on here, as the Force flow different in the area as the boy moved nearer. Theodred. She said telephatically to the boy, and if he remembered their awareness training he would hear her voice in his head. Come here.

Then she waited, not in a meditative state yet still she could feel the Force taking bad thoughts away and emptying her head. The last meeting between them was a bit rough, yet she knew she was telling the truth as no matter how it sounded wrong, sacrifices had to be made in order to fight for another day. As seen from the girl who was now in a wheelchair.

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

[member="Nima Tann"]​

​

It has been years since he saw his Nima, the purple lady he thinks so fondly of, but he would always remember her and what she had taught him in the time they had spent together. Even for one so young as he was then he understood her teachings, at least in part, but the lessons had served him well. He has changed, having been apart of an event that influenced his out look on life. Although he is still full of adventure and holds the wonder of a child, Théo has developed a more serious aspect. The reason why? he had witnessed death, at the hands of the darkside.

A life taken in order to save others, by a boy not much older than he...

After lessons, Théo had decided to spend time alone in the gardens, he wondered aimlessly for a while stopping from time to time to take his mind off past events. The family having grown around him, about to have an event that would see them question themselves, and set the mood to empty. He could sense it coming...

On the gentle wind came a voice, the wind of the force blowing within his mind and his name is called. Telepathy a skill Théo has strongly, as it the main method to communicate with his sister [member="Nina Heavenshield"], his mind open to receive ...

He is summon by Nima and he turned his path toward her presence. He has not seen her for so long and so he hurried. Among a field of flowers she was, and he smiled on approached. But as he moved closer his smile vanished and his brow furrowed .. something has changed, something is wrong.

Master?, he replied to her summon, what has happened to you?

 

[Nima Tann]

She could sense that something indeed has changed from the boy as his presence got closer and closer, that innocent, idealistic and... happy aura was nowhere to be seen today, maybe that's why the Force in this place didn't recognise him. She wondered that what happened to the boy, yet she would soon hear from him, since it seemed the boy heard her call and moved towards her, as the presence got closer and closer every second. And then suddenly the presence stopped, he was here. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes from meditative stance and turned towards him, as hearing his soonly turned from happy to concerned voice, and placed a big smile on her face.

"Theodred! Long time no see. Come here." She said in a caring voice as opposed to his frown, she clearly missed the little boy's energy, extending her arms for a hug. At first she ignored the question of her well being, since she was amazed that how the years have changed the boy. The young, cute appearance was slowly getting replaced by a more serious, yet mature looks. Being homeschooled was maybe good for him, yet in spirit... Well, in spirit there was something bothering him as he wasn't the same as years ago and it could clearly be seen by the woman now examining him with proud eyes, and she was sure that the problem wasn't about growing up. They were the eyes that has seen something messed up. She would know it from her little sister, the eyes never lied. "It's a bit long story, don't worry yourself with it. I feel all okay now." She reassured the boy yet she knew that it wasn't the last time she was going to hear about this question.

"Where have you been, Theodred? The Force says that it missed you here very much.." She said in a playful manner to both save herself from the "What happened to you" question and to raise his spirits a bit, it would work years ago, yet she knew in a sense that the boy was too old to be happy with those playful sentences. Something wasn't right.

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

[member="Nima Tann"]

He approached and sat beside his master. He could not help but look at her in silence as clearly she had been severly injured physically and how knew what mentally. There was a look in her eyes that told him this, they are sad. And her training had served him well, he sensed it the change.

"You can tell me Master Tann, I do care a lot about you and I am not a baby anymore". Theo replied with his own sadness.

"I have missed you Master, so much has happened since we last spoke. But I am fine". He shifted in his position to look away from her, he did not want for her to look into his own eyes and see the truth.

"I .. I heard about the war, my Papa and Mama were there. We lost. And our enemy advances hurting people as they go. Is that ... is that what happened to you?".

 

[Nima Tann]

"I missed you too, Theodred. How many years now, 3, 4? You have become a young man now." She was both proud and worried about him as he continued to speak. There was something wrong with him, that was for sure and this thing wasn't going to pass by Nima trying to make him happy by doing awkward things. If he was the same, little boy who was energetic and playful it would work but so many has changed, not his appearance but his always bright nature as well. He was becoming more realistic, and it was what she wanted to be honest, since the meeting with him several years ago was her trying to say him that being idealistic wasn't a good thing for a leader. Yet, she didn't want him to be sad, no matter how he said the otherwise. "Good." She said, as him catching her lie. "A good leader always need to understand a lie from the truth." She smiled proudly, and was already in teacher mode, great. So, better tell him the truth before this subject goes off.

"Yes, Ziost. It's what happened to me." She sighed. "The Primeval had a good advantage on us no matter how we tried to hold the planet. I have fought against two witches who had nasty ways to fight." She wasn't getting so much graphical as she continued to explain what happened to her since he, no matter he said that he wasn't a baby anymore, was still a child. He didn't need to jump right into the cruelties of galaxy. "Long story short, as I was busy fighting with one of the witches, other one sent an electric shock to my spines and... crippled me. The bad guys never play by the rules. If they did we would have won. " She didn't want to sound like so depressed while saying those, so she made sure to stay in a calm tone while speaking. "But the good news is, I'll be able to walk soon. It's not so bad when you get used to it though." She placed a smile after that. And now, it was her turn to ask questions.

"And you are not fine. I am your Master, I can feel that." Then added, examining him. "What happened, Theo? You don't need to conceal anything from me."

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

[member="Nima Tann"]

He listened to his master recount events of Ziost. The Sith, he had now become aware of such people, darksiders as well. Such a strange situation, having a friend that uses this in order to protect those he cares for, do not Jedi do the same? Yes they do, but Théo had learned that Sith do not, they are single focused and only think of themselves. So much to learn and think about for one so young.

"There are rules in war?", Théo looked at her face before his gaze dropped to look over her body. "I wish .. I wish I could have been there. I would have tried to protect you".

"There are no rules in war, there can't be. It makes no sense to have them considering for both sides all virtue is gone the moment you ignite your saber, or fire a shot from a gun".

Théo is suffering from total confusion and the fact he had to take a life. But he will not tell his master not yet.

 

[Nima Tann]

"I am happy that you weren't there, Theo. You don't need to see such hostilities in your age, especially you don't want to see a witch on a battleground yet." She said with a smile, and then added. "You are to become a Jedi, yet you are still a child. And children need to live their lives while they still can. Trust me. I know that, as the Grandmaster's child they are already trying to make you more mature from what you feel." Then sighed, as the child's speech about the war, so true, yet so distant from the truth. It was a Jedi philosophy that has been never solved. War, did war really have a rule, or was everything they had been taught in the Academy, a big lie that has been put by the elders to don't let them unleash their potential, who knew?

"I think I've been a bit unclear. There are no rules in war for the Sith, yet for the Jedi, I can't say that really. Of all this time Jedi has been following some basic orders, in war, out of war. No painful killing, no aggresion before your opponent draws the saber first. Conceal the anger, only attack in self defense, let out the bad emotions. There are just some of the rules, and believe me, we have many. Yet for the Sith, they attack and kill for their own satisfaction, they don't have rules to follow, they shoot to kill. That's why they don't have anything to lose, so they attack with their everything. We Jedi, if we get out of that rules that we created, the emotions consume us and we become the ones we try to destroy. Or... that's what they say. Dark Side has a big potential if you know how to use it for good. There are people in the Temple who use the Dark Side as their ally, and there are ones who think that the Dark Side as their ally. It's a thin line, so Jedi usually don't risk it." She said, it was a bit informative, bit long, but Theo was ready for such speeches. "Which is a bad thing because I've been touched by the Dark Side before... and it felt good. Yet I didn't know how to control it, so I just gave up on it. With help. Once you go wrong with the Dark Side, the corruption gets you."

"Why do you think that we lost the war, Theo? Tell me what you are thinking about. Whose fault was that, and what would the Jedi have done to prevent the Primeval getting the planet?" With this way, she would understand that if the boy had learned anything about strategy and leadership in the past years, since he was about to become a Padawan and he was about to learn about those things sooner or later. It was just a practice for the boy, their meeting.

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

[member="Nima Tann"]

He was pleased to hear she was understanding of him, the fact that his name held much weight and expectations are high of him. Not from his parents but from the others in the Order. After all the son of two powerful Jedi is expected to live up to such names and Théo knew this. It was a pressure put on himself as well, he wanted his Papa and Mama to be proud of him coupled with it is his own desire and ambitions and the Heavenshield name. So much history and heritage associated with this, and his family.

"I understand, I understand what a Jedi must do in war, in battles. But you say a Jedi only draws upon his saber in self-defense? No ... I don't believe that. To me a Jedi ignites his saber to protect others before himself. I also understand that I would be no good to anyone dead, but what is the point of us learning of this, if we run away to fight another day and leave those undefended to be captured or worse, to be killed".

"Use the dark side for good? why?", he looked at her with a serious face. "This makes no sense to me, when we have a power within us more potent than the some dark jedi. I have seen them I know what they can do, but the lightside is far more powerful then they could ever be and you know why? because it is an hypocrisy. Jedi that romance the darkside are not true Jedi, they cannot be simply because they throw away all values to play with something that has the ability to cloud them to turn them into something other. Sure know your enemy and all that, but your enemy is not always a sith, not always the darkness. If you want to help those that are enslaved, do you turn slaver to understand them? No, you go and fight for the freedoms of those in servitude. I will not learn the dark arts just to say I can fight it, I can and will fight it with my values and my own cunning and with the pure lightside of the force".

"I am sorry my Master, but I will not walk that path. I will not forsake my destiny for the teachings of those that are confused and cannot decided what side they sit on".

 

[Nima Tann]

She put a smile on her face as hearing the boy's words, wiser than his age, that was proving her theory that the boy was indeed matured well before his age, and it was a good quality for a leader. Yet, not forgetting that he was still a boy no matter what his words were way more than his age. "Perhaps I was a bit poor on choosing my words, Theo. I understand your concerns, yet you hear the words how they sound like, to be a leader you must understand not everything is what it sounds like. Sometimes, the words mean more than they actually do. For a Jedi, self defense means to be one with the weak, to be one with the ones we swore to protect, and do everything we can do stop the evil from hurting them. Self-defense doesn't mean to be selfish, and if you want to be a good Jedi, you need to be one with the Force, with the ones who trust you, and even with the ones who doesn't sometimes. You will not going to leave them when they need you the most, if you do that I'll be the one to find you first and lecture you about what you did is wrong. I am not saying you need to put yourself above them, instead, you need to be with them. And self defense means protecting them no matter what."

"And by saying that using the Dark Side of the Force for good?" She said, then sighing afterwards. "I am not saying that you need to become your enemy to defeat them, or use it every time to get away from the hard way, or Light Side is weaker than the dark even. Yet in all the battles, generals with big responsibilities have to predict the movement of the enemies just to prevent them from flanking the ally units, or get a strategically advantage before the battle, and to do it, they study them. Sometimes they stay in the background and note the movements without causing suspicion as their allies are slain one by one, to make sure it doesn't happen again, you may see it as a failure, but I say it's a sacrifice. A sacrifice for the good of the next generations, that general now knows what to do if they come again, yet if he didn't know, you know what would happen again, again and again until someone decides to do the job of the old general who should've done it years ago.. In order to defeat your enemies, you need to meet them first, to open your mind for the Dark Side and to prevent it from consuming you with the Light Side. It doesn't make you confused, or indecisive. It makes you wise, it makes you strong."

"To give you an example, what I would do in a situation I need to save slaves from slavers. Instead of going all aggresive, I would see the scene first, blend in, and understand what to do and understand the places I would hide the slaves if my plan doesn't work. Then, I start my act and slowly invade those slavers' heads with my own thoughts and make them believe to the world that I am creating for them. If that slavers are as stupid as I expected, it would be sufficient for me to get the slaves to safety before any of them gets hurt. If that isn't the case I would hide them to the safe place that I found watching the scene patiently and deal with them afterwards." Was she speaking a lot? Maybe? But maybe the words had to be spoken to the boy. "The illusions I am creating, I can say that they are not Light Side, not at all. But I used them for the good of the slaves to save them from their miserable lives. If I went them guns blazing, what would happen? I wouldn't save them all, even though I try my best. The slavers would've gotten their dirty hands on them before I can react for saving everyone."

"Now, using that illusions to save more lives, does that make me a bad person, Theo? A dark sider, or someone who is confused?"

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]