Star Wars RP

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Rogue Runner

Haven Pryde

Pirate Queen | ODF Marine
Character
Galaxy_Class_Starfreighter_II.jpg


(Got the image from deviantart)

Intent: to bring in a capable smuggling vessel to the galactic markets and small factions
Manufacturer: Raider Security Enterprises
Classification: Freighter
Role: Smuggling, Para-Military
Height: 360 meters
Width: 170 meters
Length: 255 meters
Power Core Generator/Reactor: Cryogenic Reactor
Hyperdrive Rating: 2.5
Minimum Crew: 300
Optimal Crew: 1,050
Armaments:

40 turbolasers
10 quad lasers
2 concussion missiles
2 tractor beams


Hangar: N/A

Non-Combative Attachments:

Advanced Sensor Arrays
Navicomputer
Enhanced Shields
Hyperdrive

Passenger Capacity:

12 ground troops/Security Guards

Cargo Capacity: about 4,000 tons
Consumables: 6 months worth
Sublight Speed and Maneuverability: Class 4
 

Haven Pryde

Pirate Queen | ODF Marine
Character
Thanks for letting me know, I was unsure on where it should go. :)
Updated: Added in the manufacturer since I didn't notice it being added in the template for an option, so hopefully it is ready to be approved or denied now. :D
 

Jaxton Ravos

Mindwalker of the Outer Rim
Writer
Alrighty, let's tackle this @[member="Haven Pryde"].

First of all, the 'Description' portion of the template is missing. I'll need a couple paragraphs or so of what the vehicle is, what purpose it serves, how it's commonly used, what lore it might bring in etc.

Secondly, this is classified as a frigate by our system, and your weapons arrangement is that of a heavy gun persuasion. Heavy gun frigates aren't allowed to have any vehicles in their hanger bay, so I'm going to have to ask you to drop your guns or your vehicles. If you decide to drop the guns, I'll need a bit more clarification on the vehicles you've got in your hanger as the terms you've used are rather generic. Links to canon or factory submitted vehicles would work, or if you can't find/don't wish to find anything adding some tidbits in the description would work just fine. Similarly I'll need some clarification on your 'enhanced shields' and the benefits they have in comparison to normal, likely added to the description.

Thirdly, your minimum and maximum crew numbers are backwards, and drastically undermanned. A ship this size would typically have a minumum crew of 200-350ish with a maximum crew of 1000+. Similarly, you can afford to have a ton more passengers if you wish as well.
 

Haven Pryde

Pirate Queen | ODF Marine
Character
@[member="Jaxton Ravos"] I copied this from the template directly so I am confused as to where the description goes, should I copy and paste it again directly from where the template is to this?

Secondly I have chosen to take away the hangar, hopefully this will be allowed? I hope I don't need a hangar to deliver goods? I'm sorry for this since I am still new to the factory and not really a creator of tech, but am trying my hand at it anyway.

lastly I have increased the crew size... so hopefully it is more accurate now.
 
Top