Riptide

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"Yeah... Imagine that Miz Arceneau wouldn't be too keen on regulation." The world of the Twin Suns had pretty much been under control of the conglomorate for some time. While she ensured that there was some protection to the planet and the main cities, it still held a bit of lawlessness that made Tatooine what it was for a millennia. Regulating it would be a shame. It was just part of the culture.

Kaile's nose gave a slight twtich. "More apt to head towards First Order territory. Heard more and more conflicts could be found there."

A slight mull brought the woman back to the problem at hand if she was pregnant. Where would that place her then? Anxiety became tangible by the slight tightening of her grip along the blanket.

A glance at the sensors ensured that nothing was out of the ordinary. Well, as one could expect.

"Watch out.. pretty big shell of a destroyer up ahead."

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

He shrugged. "None of m-"

Kurt suddenly stopped.

"Poodoo." He said quietly. "It is my business."

The Courier let out a chuckle. He hadn't really thought about it lately, but he was in the middle of it, or at the edge at least. The SIS technically employed him every since he'd made that deal, and now that Jamie worked for them...or with the Jedi somehow, he really was in the middle of all of it. Kaile already tied him to it in another way too. There was no escape for him on this particular occasion, nowhere to run. He took in a deep breath and shook his head.

"Ah well." A shrug rolled over his shoulder as he pulled the ship to the side, avoiding the hulking destroyer.

"Is that whats been up with you?" He asked finally. "Worried about another war?"

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Seeing him mention it quietly and reading how Kurt went about his thought process gave Kaile pause again. See, he might have shrugged and said oh well, but it bugged him. That much she could tell.

It also brought back another confirmation. On why it had been the best idea to not get Asmus involved in any of this. She could still see it in her mind how nervous and anxious he'd been over the possibility of getting interrogated by Techno Union's trade security.

She faced a lot more risks than just that.

However, having Kurt ask if that's what has been bugging her lately drew a bit of a start from her. Surprise and then a slight nervous twitch at the corner of her mouth was a telling tick.

"Ah... kinda." she began. Kaile didn't want to lie, but there was just too much. Licking her lips, she added quietly.

"Sorry." the agent began. "For dragging you into all of this."

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

He shrugged.

"It was bound to happen eventually right?" That was how he had resigned himself to it, by telling himself that not everything could always stay the same. The fact of the matter was that the moment Kaile entered his life, everything had changed. That change had only become more dramatic the second Jamie stepped into the dance. Everything...everything was different now, there was no denying that, and trying to fight it...trying to fight it would just end up with him dead. "I'm not mad about it."

He had been initially maybe, but not really even then. "At least I have a friend at my side."

Kurt offered her a smile.

Jamie worked with the SIS too, but he doubted they would ever let him and her work together in any official capacity, he felt like that might have been a bit too unprofessional. Plus he had no idea what Jamie actually did with that...Talith Jedi lady. For all he knew they did completely different things, though Jamie had mentioned something about Bastion not too long ago. He frowned for a second and then smiled again, trying not to dwell on things.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"Yeah." Kaile lowered her lids, looking at her nails. That was the thing now wasn't it? Kurt by all intents and purposes was her friend; her family. She had missed him terribly and having him here with her, having him come after her and look for her -- that meant a lot.

Yet it also meant there were sacrifices involved that put him in danger. That could potentially place his family in danger. Kaile bit her lower lip, chewing it thoughtfully.

"Sometimes..." she began only to stop. "I don't know. It's all I know." the Lorrdian wasn't quite sure what she was even trying to say. Things had been so simple before.

They weren't so much any longer.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"I think a lot of Jedi feel that way too." That was he had learned recently anyway. "You guys all take the weight of the galaxy onto your shoulders."

It was something that he had always thought was a bit silly.

He felt for Kaile, he really did, she was his friend after all, but she was one of those people that seemed to think that she was responsible for every woe that anyone experienced. It simply wasn't that way. Sometimes there wasn't anything you could do, sometimes you did your best and still failed, and sometimes, sometimes you had to be selfish in order to survive. If you spent your entire life giving then at the end there would be nothing left to take.

The ideals were commendable, but they didn't make for a good reality. "You can't do everything Kaile. You can't stop wars on your own. Sometimes, sometimes you just have to do what you think is best for yourself. What you think will make you happy."

Screw everyone else.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"I know I can't." it was said a little bit more abruptly than she meant to. Likely due to the sudden stress. She still kept fiddling with her fingers. A glance over towards the viewport saw that massive destroyer silently float to their right. Almost out of the bulk of the debris.

"But every little bit helps, y'know." Kaile was good at what she did. It would also be a lie to say she didn't enjoy it. She did. It gave her a bit of a rush. To be needed and being able to gather information like she did. Going from one place to another, meeting new people, seeing new places. It had all been fun.

Just things seemed to be a bit different now. Kaile couldn't quite put her finger on it, but ... things changed.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

He sighed. "It doesn't help."

There was a split second stop.

Kaile was his friend, his only friend besides Jamie. He respected her, knew her, and saw what she went through. He might have been a fool, but he wasn't a blind fool. He could tell that she had been sad lately, distracted, distant. It didn't take a genius to figure out why, or at least so Kurt thought. Perhaps she envied what he and Jamie had, perhaps she yearned for family, perhaps she had met someone and missed him. Kurt didn't know, but...he knew that she was missing something.

Something she would never get from the SIS.

"If it makes you fall apart in the process." The galaxy was always on fire, and Kaile had been playing fireman for too long. "Sometimes you need to be selfish. Sometimes you need to live like I do. Saving people is all good and great, but what happens if you wake up one day and realize that you've sacraficed your entire life for people you'll never even meet?"

He could see the appeal, he could, but on the other hand... "You want to do good, I know that, and maybe it's worth it in the end, but I'm your friend, and I'm telling you that if you keep going like this you're going to end up miserable."

Kurt paused.

"Be selfish." It was a hard pitch, especially to someone like Kaile.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Part of her wondered if she hadn't already been selfish to a degree. Actually, her entire life had been working for some cause or another -- but at the same time, it had been filled with fun experiences and a carefree attitude that had given her that cheery outlook. It had been said in the past that folk doubted anything could take away her cheerfulness.

Things had become a bit more real for her since then.

"It ain't that simple, Kurt." her voice held a bit of strain, head coming up to meet his eyes.

Things had just become somewhat more complicated, and Kaile was still lost to where she belonged as much as where she is going. Kaile didn't want to end up miserable. All her life she'd been anything but that. Life finally came to smack her right in the face and give her a reality check.

How would everything work out now?

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"Yes it is." He said in counter.

People had a way of complicating things in ways that they didn't need to be. Kaile, Jamie, pretty much everyone. They made excuses, looked at things only in their eyes, saw things for what they really weren't. Even Kurt did it, but if there was one thing he knew, one thing that he could deal with better than anyone else, it was selfishness.

His entire life had revolved around himself, and that was something he could readily admit.

Racing had been for the fame. Flying had been for the skill, and his life as a Courier? That had happened just so he could live as a degenerate. Kurt knew that, he recognized it for what it was. Kaile and Jamie had been the only people he hadn't been selfish towards. He'd given one a home, and the other his love. It was a big step for himself, something outside his usual gimmick of "me me me". So it was easy to see when someone wasn't like him.

Kaile was a perfect example.

"You're just making it more complicated than it needs to be." He continued on. "An excuse is an excuse."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"It isn't just an excuse, Kurt." This time Kaile gave him a level stare. There was something there that concerned her; that much was evident in her eyes. She'd been a bit different since he found her on Corellia. While the Lorrdian didn't vocalize it, her body language did. There were still aspects of Kaile there and her cheer, but it was a bit muted somehow.

"There are more things to take into consideration." she used to have the luxury of simply taking things day by day. Now if she was pregnant then what would she do?

"I've done this all my life," she told him. "I'm good at it."

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"An excuse is an excuse." He countered. "No matter how valid."

There was a truth to his words.
"I'm not saying this to hurt you, Kaile." He really wasn't. She was his friend, his best friend. It wasn't like he was trying to jab a needle into her emotions and run away cackling. He was just pointing out to her that...well what she was doing wouldn't end well for her. She would either end up sacrificing herself, burned out, or...well a host of other ends that were either none-too pleasant or something he didn't even want to think about. He frowned for a moment and then went on.

"I was good at racing." He pointed out. "But I left it and did something else, and it was a whole lot less dangerous than what you were doing."

Also less meaningful, but that was neither here nor there. "You can tell yourself what you want, but you know I'm right."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

He meant well. Kaile knew that. Didn't mean it still didn't make her anxious. He was hitting a lot of hard points. Most of those were feeding into her growing fears and the more he went on about it, the more uneasy she became.

By then Kaile wrapped her arms around her knees and tucked her chin along their tops. She rested her cheek there. Chocolate brown eyes darted over towards the sensor array. They were just past the debris field.

"Should be good for hyperspace jump soon." she added quietly.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

He shifted and looked at her.

"You know I just want whats best for you, Kaile." Kurt said quietly.

The Courier didn't want to hurt his friend.

"I know you just want to do good." His tone was still quiet as he entered coordinates into the navi-computer. "I know that's who you are...who you've been."

It was a good life in a way, saving others, but...it was hard. They would never build a museum for Kaile, they would never give her a memorial, they would never even know her name. She could save thousands of lives, millions even, and she would still be that faceless spy, the agent. That was all she was ever going to be to the people of the galaxy, and that killed Kurt. Maybe that was wrong, maybe she was happy that way, but Kurt couldn't abide by it.

He frowned. "But I don't want to see you throw your life away."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"I know," Kaile replied quietly, turning her head up to look at the pilot. His brows cast forward, and he had an expression of concern on his face. Kurt was worried for her. He cared about her and her well-being. He was her best friend.

The corners of her mouth drew up, and she gave him a light smile.

"Thank you." she was grateful for him. He was her only family and her best friend. The only connection she had out of a life of aliases and made up lives.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

For a moment he stayed quiet.

"So." He said quietly. "Are you going to do something about it?"

It wasn't like he was trying to pressure her...well okay thats exactly what he was trying to do. Maybe it was time though, maybe it was time they told the SIS to fuck off. The Alliance had done plenty for the galaxy at large, and Kaile had done plenty for the Alliance, as far as he was concerned she was done.

"We can go. Let others handle it. Not like you have to worry about paying rent and I work easily enough." Was it a pipe dream?

Maybe.

But Kurt was an expert in running away.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"Kurt I can't just leave," there were too many intricacies to deal with. Not to mention Kaile knew too much. Also, Kaile wasn't the sort of person to just run away. It wasn't like that for her. Everything that she was and where she was now was based on the Alliance. Her identity, her money, contacts -- there wasn't anywhere she can go to only just disappear.

An agent didn't just drop off the edge of the 'verse. No, what typically happened is that an agent was given their burn notice.

It was a rather naive idea that she could just do that. But she couldn't. Honestly, Kaile wasn't quite sure if she could even step away. What another purpose would there be for her?

And then there was the possibility that she was pregnant.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"Yes you can." He wasn't arguing that it would be easy, especially considering that it was a spy organization, but it wasn't like they would clip her for walking away. The SIS was supposed to be the good guys. Kaile knew a lot, but if she wanted to walk away...they couldn't force her to stay? Could they?

"I know it'd be hard." Kurt offered. "But they can't make you work."

He paused. "And if they do we just run...disappear."

That was a little bit naive, if only because A. Kaile could never actually do that, and B. Kurt was still dating Jamie who was no involved with the SIS on pretty much the same level that he was, not to mention that her new Master was some kind of heavy hitter for the organization.

Still, he pitched the idea.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"Kurt, we can't just disappear," she told him plainly. There was no way. The Lorrdian wasn't aware of Jamie and her connections to the SIS as well; so that would be another issue that could potentially loom overhead. One way or another, she would be found out and if she went AWOL likely be arrested, go through a trial, and sentenced.

A slight grimace came to her.

"I'm connected to classified databanks that I can access through my splint." which were on a need to know basis, but it allowed her ways of being able to connect when required.

"And ... I honestly don't want to leave. I like what I do. I can make a difference. It maybe be small and folk may not know it was me that did it; but it saves lives."

At the expense of her own.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

He frowned and slowly touched the levers that controlled The Messa's hyperdrive. He looked over towards her for a moment and then focused on getting the jump done, his hand gently pushing the levers forward as they accelerated into hyperspace. There was a brief blur, and then the familiar blue lines began to fill the viewport of the starships.

"Yeah." Kurt said quietly. "But you don't get to live your own."

It was true.

Sure they had their little vacations, the tiny trips away, but that wasn't a life, that wasn't fun. Not to mention whatever she denied herself on the side. It had been why she'd run away from Taotoine, why she'd just up and abandoned him. She had felt the need to keep him out of danger, to keep him away from what she did so that he would be safe. How many times had she done that over the years? How many times had she felt the need to just abandon someone?

Leave them behind for their own good? "You don't see a problem with that?"