Private Respite

[Kirie]

The Western Sea Coast,
Kesh

Quinn Varanin
​

They sat beneath a carpet of stars on an isolated beach, a spot where the sand met the waves and the sky. The coastline was deserted, save for a spacious cabin that with a deck that extended out almost to the water, and the small, expensive transport ship sitting beside it. Without the light of civilization around them, only the moonlight shining on the wet sand beat back the darkness, making it look like they were sitting in the center of a huge pearl.

Kirie sat on a beach chair out in front of the cabin, tired after a day of swimming and exploring the quiet shore. Her skin was tinged pink, and encrusted with salt and sand, but with the sun having set, her sheer beach shirt thrown over her bathers, and a cool breeze blowing in from the ocean, Kirie was sleepy and comfortable. Quinn was laying on the chair beside her, and Kirie reached out lazily, fingers brushing against the princess' to get her attention.

Kirie's eyes looked over Quinn as she turned towards her, admiring the way the moonlight played against the smooth alabaster of her skin, how it brought out the silver in her hair so it shone, almost luminous in the night air. When Quinn's dark eyes met hers Kirie grinned despite herself. Since she had been away so long, she still wasn't quite used to the sight of her love, it made her stomach flip with strange shyness.

It was a much needed vacation for the both of them, having been pulled on disparate paths the past few months, rarely able to see each other and never able to truly relax. Finally there had been a chance to steal away, and Kirie had taken them far, to a getaway designed for couples to retreat from the Galaxy and its stresses.

'Hey.' Kirie signed, and pointed upwards, waiting for Quinn to follow her gaze. Her droid floated between them, to speak for her aloud while they both turned their eyes to the stars.

'See the bright blue one?' Kirie pointed to one of the brightest stars above them, shining in a brilliant cerulean. 'That's the tip of the Purrgil's Tail, see?' Kirie shuffled over in her chair to be closer to Quinn and traced the shape of the constellation with her arm. 'Apparently it's named after the Purrgils' ancient migration routes, and early explorers used to follow it before there were many hyperlanes.'

Kirie yawned and stretched, embracing the feeling of being relaxed with nothing to do but sit around. She passed Quinn the little book of stars she had picked up at the tourist center before they'd flown out to the cabin, in case she wanted to point out a constellation herself.

'Wish there were stars like this on Jutrand.'

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kirie //:

Quinn had almost forgotten what it was like to relax. Every day felt like there was someone new that she needed to impress or convince. She felt like her life was no longer her own — it belonged to the Empire, the Order, and every Sith citizen under Empyrean's banner. He had gone silent, but that wasn't anything new — yet this was. He wasn't returning, and her mother didn't want to lead without him. At least the woman knew where and what he was doing, if he had left without a word… Quinn doubted she could ever forgive him.

Not like he would mind, though.

It felt like yesterday when she had developed a backbone — one that would challenge the Order's status quo and even the Imperial throne. Her eyes closed as she tried to remember the look on his face when she spoke the way she did. Quinn knew she sounded like a mewling child wanting everything someone had, and now… it was too real for her. He wasn't there to catch her mistakes, and even Srina wouldn't be there forever. If only she had waited for her time instead of forcing it.

As the Princess allowed her mind to spiral into terrible scenarios where she failed, a hand reached for her. Its touch was gentle, soft with a calloused feel of someone who had earned their life. Her touch grounded the Princess, and in that moment, Quinn remembered how much she had missed it. Her eyes fluttered open, glancing towards the woman with a smile. It was such a beautiful feeling to see Kirie there when before she hadn't been.

"Hey, you…" Quinn slowly sat up in the lounge and followed Kirie's attention. Looking up, the stars were bright here; she could see why the woman had chosen this place out of many to be where they went. While she enjoyed the stars, they made her feel a bit insignificant — a feeling rare but never one she was fond of.

Kirie continued, explaining the constellation's history and its significance to people of the past. The thought of having to follow the migration routes of a space whale made Quinn chuckle. To think there was a time when discovery was ripe and everyone had a chance to be something extraordinary.

"Kind of nerve-wracking, though," she said as she took the constellation book and skimmed through it. "Having to trust something that you couldn't talk to or understand… and hopefully make it to where you were going." She wondered how many were lost because the purgils decided they were done traveling?

The spot of happiness she felt faded the moment Kirie wished the stars were above Jutrand. It was a reminder of how horrid the Empire's state was, how trapped Kirie must feel. Quinn's eyes fell from the sky as she looked out towards the gentle flow of water. Her mind collapsed inward as she remembered how open and free Weik had been. It was no wonder Kirie had decided to travel outside of the blackwall.

"I do as well. They're quite beautiful." She paused, then looked towards the woman beside her. She watched the stars, the moon, and the darkened sky carefully. A part of her wondered if this was a moment that they'd never get again. The moment the Empire rested upon her shoulders, her secrets were no longer hers. Kirie would no longer be just hers.

"I'm going to be Empress sooner than we had anticipated… I don't know if I'll be able to keep you safe anymore."

 

[Kirie]

The holiday had so far been spent in motion. First, there had been much to do in getting to Kesh from organising Quinn's transit through the Blackwall to meeting Kirie's transport from Desevro, and unpacking their things once they'd arrived. Then of course there had been the exploring, and trying the food and drink that was flown out to the remote accommodation by little droids, and swimming and sunbathing and playing word games and generally just having fun.

The two of them had leaped into their vacation with such gusto not just because they needed it, but because when they finally stilled, when the sun set and they reached the quiet part of the evening, they would have to contend with the tricky things, like how Kirie and Quinn's lived seemed to be diverging without their wanting them to, and the heavy things, like the burden of royalty, like the cost of learning to be a Sith.

"Kind of nerve-wracking, though,"

'Probably.' Kirie agreed, her head tilting down, eyes shifting from the stars to her love. 'I like to imagine that they left buoyed by the promise of new worlds, with people they loved by their side.' Many of those early explorers never made it to their imagined paradises, but some of them had. If nothing else, there was hope.

Kirie could see the frown tugging at the corners of Quinn's mouth, feel through their shared connecting as the heavy weight of responsibility rolled back onto her with the encroaching tide. In an instant, the denial of the day was gone. They had reality to contend with.

"I'm going to be Empress sooner than we had anticipated… I don't know if I'll be able to keep you safe anymore."

Kirie squeezed Quinn's hand, closing her eyes and considering what that meant. Quinn the Empress, in charge of the Sith Order and all that it contained, the Lords within the Blackwall with their schemes and knives and plots. The Kainites... She would be pulled in a million directions. She would be venerated, worshipped, reviled, coveted. She would direct wars and wield unimaginable power. Her allies would stoke the dark forces within her and her enemies would try to destroy her. Everything would change in an instant.

'Is that what you... want?' Her expression was full of unspoken concern. Quinn had never seemed too delicate to be a Sith, her fine features belied an inner strength far greater than most others of her ilk. But Kirie had always thought her above the messy business of ruling the Empire. She was the Princess. She could use a lighter hand, avoid being embroiled in bloodshed and treachery. But an Empress was spared none of the ugliness. All that the Sith Order contained would be hers, to be shaped, and to shape Quinn in return.

'It's your safety I worry about, if you are to be Empress. Thanks to you I have benefactors, people looking out for me even when I'm away.' Kirie's frown deepened. 'Who's looking out for you?'

Selfishly, though she didn't want it, Kirie's thoughts began to stray from Quinn's predicament and to herself. It was not the first time she had pondered on how her life might change if Quinn ever ascended to the throne, but now the questions were more immediate, more urgent. Could she picture herself there, by Quinn's side? In that reality was she a consort, a servant, a secret? Her heart twisted in sudden concern that maybe this trip was a last hurrah for the two of them, that she would soon be left behind, a memory cast aside for duty. Kirie struggled to meet Quinn's eyes as she asked her next question. Without Kirie really trying to, the words rang in Quinn's mind alongside Kirie's signs, as if she was speaking from inside the Princess' head.

'When you are Empress, what will become of me?'

Quinn Varanin ​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Kirie //:

Quinn quietly considered the woman's questions and words. Unlike anyone in this Empire, Kirie was allowed to be the closest. She knew how Quinn was feeling, between her happiness and her sorrows. It had been years since the Echani had opened her heart to anyone, but as it lay bare, fate didn't look kindly upon it.

She allowed herself the warmth and the care of the Handmaiden. A position only meant to protect Kirie, but even then, how little she had been able to. She was attacked multiple times, lost her voice in a kidnapping, and now, as Empress? How could she even fathom protecting her?

Quinn wanted to laugh at her stupidity in the matter, her immature dreams of playing the hero to someone she loved. Still, she knew better now as time went forward — the Force had already laid her destiny.

"It doesn't matter what I want." Her voice was small as she thought about it. Quinn's life seemed blessed; she got whatever she wanted, but it all came with a price. Someone, somewhere, paid for it. Now? It was her turn to pay for the life she was given.

"It's what I'm supposed to do. It's why I was born, it's my duty." Her eyes flickered away from the woman, focusing now on the water as it ebbed and flowed.

"My wants and desires do not matter anymore. I can want everything, but if it's not for the good of the Empire, it's frivolous."

Her eyes closed as Kirie continued, worried about who would look after her. It brought relief, laced with heavy sorrow, that Kirie had others to look after her. It meant that once more, Quinn was reminded of her failures. Quinn didn't answer the inquiry; she didn't want to worry her.

As much as she wanted to explain that Srina of all would look after her, Quinn knew it was temporary as all things were. The Empress had other things to worry about: a family to concern herself with, a husband doing something no one in the Empire knew about, and children to keep secret.

Quinn would eventually, in her own mind, become an afterthought. When she ascends the throne, she should be able to take care of herself.

Alone.

The following question echoed; it was one she had been preparing for.

Over and over, Quinn tried to think of a way to say this — to prevent it.

She was selfish and wanted to keep Kirie close, but even then, she couldn't ensure her safety. It seemed she flourished away from Quinn, away from Jutrand, and away from the Empire. No longer would she be kept caged like a bird; Kirie deserved to fly and see the galaxy. But it would be without her, without the one who continued to put the woman's life in danger. Quinn smiled softly as she shifted, reaching out with her free hand to delicately caress the curve of her last true love's face.

"When I become Empress…" She started, her voice shaky, but trying her best to remain composed.

"You will be free…" ​