Respite

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Peace had been restored, but only just so.

Cedric had allowed himself a few moments respite from the chaos of governmental upheaval. The process of shifting Coruscant into Essonian rule was a difficult one. Much of the populace supported the change in regime, but there were enough malcontents to form something of a rebellious faction. They gathered in the levels beneath Coruscant's surface, their intentions unknown, their numbers uncounted.

The Sons of Ession would be marching deep beneath the planet's upper crust to meet them soon enough. Cedric intended to stand with them in such an endeavor, but he needed a day or so to recuperate after all that had happened.

Thus it was that the Jedi confined himself to the interior of the imperial palace. Much of the building had been rendered empty. The majestic works of art that had once lined the walls were auctioned off to help fund the government reforms, and the furniture had suffered a similar fate.

Cedric meditated in one of these empty chambers. It had once been a dining hall, but was now little more than a large, spartan room furnished only with weapon racks.

Travel throughout the halls had not been restricted. The Imperator's companions could wander wherever they wish, but none had deigned to bother him during his meditations. His mind was empty, calm - it was the Force.

 

[Shanoed Marais]

The beast would not be satisfied until it knew every inch of the royal palace. If it must be confined to one location, it would know that location better than it knew itself. So it was that Shanoed had wandered the halls of the palace during all of her spare time. Sometimes she was wearing her armor, some times she was wearing one of her wispy willow dresses. She always had her metal gauntlet on though, along with her saberstaff.

Today, she was wearing another willow dress, this one a pastel green in color, and draping about her shoulders. As always, she was barefoot. She still refused to wear shoes. Not feeling the ground beneath her just felt... wrong.

Her Force Sight enabled her to see so much more than those who relied upon their physical eyes. Still, she wanted to walk each corridor, feel the floor of each room with her bare feet. She would need to do it again, later, after they had refurnished the place, but this gave her a base to start with.

The Spyder's wanderings brought her into the same room as her new Emperor. She stopped on the threshold, looking towards him. It seemed he was meditating. He was so calm. At peace, almost. She was loathe to interrupt him. The days ahead would offer him few chances to rest like this.

She started to move through the room, on her way to another corridor, attempting to keep her footsteps silent. She even removed her hand from the wall, so that there wouldn't be the sound of her fingers sliding down it as she passed by.

[member="Cedric Grayson"]

 

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The ghost would have passed unnoticed, were Cedric not already distracted.

His meditations eluded him. Balance was something the Jedi rarely struggled to achieve. Generally speaking, it was his natural state, but today it eluded him. He suspected it had to do with the reality of things; that his intentions for the galaxy were finally coming to fruiton. It was a cocktail of excitement and apprehension, pride and abject terror. He had hoped to cast these feelings away in favor of perfect clarity, but even the most disciplined of masters were still living beings.

Sometimes, one cannot simply cast off the shackles of emotion.

He felt an echo of something in the Force. His eyes drifted open, and he caught sight of the Miraluka making her way down the corridor, obviously going out of her way to remain perfectly silent. he concluded that such was likely for his benefit, and growing tired of his failed meditations, Cedric rose to his feet.

"You're not disturbing me. My meditations weren't going particularly well anyway," he explained, dusting off his legs as he walked over to her. "How are you faring?"

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

The Spyder still when she saw the shift in the Force. She turned towards Cedric as he stood up, inclining her head slightly. She truly had tried her best not to disturb him. They hadn't really gotten the chance to talk since the battle. Her midsection was still wrapped up, healing ointment on the burns she had suffered.

Her wild hair had been tamed into a long braid, and her eyesockets were covered with just a simple green ribbon. She had to admit, she missed real dirt beneath her feet. These artificial floors were always freezing in the morning.

When [member="Cedric Grayson"] explained that she wasn't disturbing him, she inclined her head. He walked over to join her and she folded her hands in front of her. "I am well. My injuries were minor, compared to some I have suffered. This... city jungle of yours.. smells funny. I have been trying to learn it, to get used to it."

Shan's nose scrunched up slightly, as if to accentuate her point about the smell before her expression was blank again. "I had thought to give you a moment of rest. You are Emperor now." Her head tilted to one side. "Why are your meditations not going well? Is there something I can help with?" Her voice was soft, so that it would not echo in the near empty, silent room.

Her own energy was calm, but lurking beneath that calm was a pacing beast. She was getting restless, needed to run. Needed to feel the wind against her face, dirt and bark beneath her feet.

 

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"You are Emperor now."

It still felt odd to hear those words. Reclaiming the legacy of the Graysons had been his greatest ambition, along with finding a new home for the scattered people of Ession. He had succeeded in both endeavors after two decades of dedication, and it truly did not feel real. He had expected to feel something...different when taking his seat upon the throne. As if he might ascend to become the man he always strove to be.

That hadn't happened, and Cedric was left somewhere between disappointment and confusion, though he did not dare tell a soul.

"I'm glad. You took more than a few hits out there," he paused, "I meant to thank you, for that. You didn't have to come here with me, and you certainly didn't have to put your life on the line for my sake. So really. Thank you." His tone was sincere, the stony and courageous persona he put on for the masses having been shed away in the Miraluka's company.

"Living in an ecunemopolis is trying for someone that wasn't born there. Ession was much like this, though we had a continent dedicated entirely to the preservation of nature. I miss that place dearly," a hint of melancholy leeched into his voice, though it was gone as soon as it had come. "I can't do something on such a grand scale for Coruscant, but perhaps I can set aside some of the city for the preservation of nature. I suspect you'll enjoy Tython far more than this place. Its heart beats with the Force."

Another pause as she spoke of the meditations. "I don't really know, if I am being honest. It's been years since I've had this difficulty. It isn't something I am used to," his brow furrowed. "I suspect it may have to do something with this whole emperor business. I haven't been this busy since I ruled Ession."

 

[Shanoed Marais]

"I meant to thank you, for that. You didn't have to come here with me, and you certainly didn't have to put your life on the line for my sake. So really. Thank you."

Shan's lips turned down into a frown at his words. She could hear his sincerity. She waited patiently until he had answered her own questions before she shook her head, holding up a hand. "Without you there, that beast would have killed me. I did not know my saber was so.. volatile. I would have tried to fight it, even if I had been alone. And I would have died."

The Miraluka crossed her arms. Her voice reflected her own sincerity. "I fought in your battle, protecting you and your people, to repay that debt."

Him speaking of his home world had memories flashing by her mind's eye, of a planet torn by rebellion. A smile lit her face when he mentioned setting aside some of the city to preserve nature. She would be okay, if she could just be in nature for a little bit here and there. "You need nature, that's what you need."

She laughed softly then stretched her arms over her head. "This place is so stiff. It's Lord this, and Sergeant whatever... Out there..." Shan's smile softened as her mind seemed to wander. "Out there you are just another whirlwind along the Force's path, no more important than the beasts that call it home. Really helps give you perspective." She smiles ruefully before shaking her head, sobering.

"From what I have seen, you are a capable leader. Far more capable than I would be. You maintain your calm so well, where I..." Shanoed shakes her head, sighing softly. "I truly became no better than the beasts of the jungles.. I cannot even begin to advise you about how to lighten your workload."

[member="Cedric Grayson"]

 

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Cedric offered her a smile that was almost soft. "Perhaps it was the Force's will that we found one another, then. I'm just glad I could help." The empyrean worked in strange ways. Cedric found that the more he listened to its call, the greater his life became. It brought him opportunity and good friends. It brought great trials as well, but then trials were the true requirement for growth in a sentient being. Those that cast aside the spiritual aspects of the Force were ignorant fools.

"Nature?" He lofted a brow. The thought made sense. Perhaps he needed to get away from the hustle and bustle of life to center himself once again. It was in the wilds of Ruusan that he had truly cultivated his connection to the living Force. He felt it here on Coruscant too, but it was far more muddied. Billions of sentient minds sent ripples throughout the Force that affected everything they touched, though most were quite subtle in their application. To have so many emotions bombarding his mind at all times had left Cedric more than a little frazzled.

A break would be nice.

"It would be nice to drop the trappings of titles and stations, if only for a little bit." Cedric agreed as he scratched at the stubble on his chin. "I know just the place. I think it would benefit all the Jedi within our organization if we took a bit of a vacation, though a brief one."

He paused, a brow lofting as she complimented his skills of leadership. Outwardly he smiled, but internally he reveled in the praise. "You have not been taught the Jedi path, Shanoed. It is the way of calm, of balance. If you wish, I could try to impart some of my knowledge onto you. You've the makings of a great Jedi," he paused, "Have you heard of Tython?"

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

Shanoed tilted her head then turned slightly, touching her fingertips to the wall. "Tython. It is the home of the Jedi, said to be as seeped in the Light Side as Korriban is seeped in the Dark Side. We Luka Sene learn of the Jedi Order, but.."

She shakes her head, tapping the wall with her fingers. "I am quite ignorant of the deeper teachings. Luka Sene even teach against the Dark Side, but I... I lost my home, my family, to people who abused the Force. If they can kill my family, why can I not kill them for having done so?" There was anger in her voice, but also sorrow. A deeply ingrained sorrow. It didn't seem like she was truly looking for an answer to that question though, more arguing with herself.

She was calmer now. Her mind was clearer. She could remember the woman she was, laughing with her fellow students. She was not laughing now. "And I turned against those teachings.." Her voice broke before she cleared her throat and straightened her spine. She wasn't sure if she had been talking to [member="Cedric Grayson"] , or to herself, but either way, she was perturbed that she said any of that aloud at all.

Their introduction had been rather unique, and their friendship since a whirlwind of planning and activity, but she had always felt she could trust Cedric. She could trust him with her life because she knew he would not risk it unnecessarily. Perhaps that's why she had been moved to swear her loyalty to him.

"Forgive me, Cedric, I find my mind wandering to old memories now that you've dragged me out of the jungle.." She offered him a half-hearted, apologetic, smile.

 

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"I'm glad to see you know of it. Far too few do these days," Cedric mused as she spoke of the Luka Sene and the dark side. Cedric sensed something deeper to her words, both in her inflection and in the way the water rippled slightly around her within the Great Ocean. She spoke her question, and though Cedric was certain it was truly not directed toward him, he decided to speak anyway.

"Inflicting death harms both the killed and the killer. If you act out of vengeance in dealing judgement, then the very same forces that drove your family's murderers to their actions could begin to flow through you." Cedric explained, though his voice was gentle and calm.

"It's alright," he assured, "We all have our pasts. In my early youth, I wasn't a very good person. A Jedi, yes, but I lived in war. It was all I knew from a very young age. Eventually I learned how to stop being that person. It took some time, and a lot of training, but I like to think I've managed it. You could do the same for yourself, and I'm happy to help you on that path."

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

The Miraluka didn't turn her head away from [member="Cedric Grayson"] as he talked. She had followed him to learn from him. To regain the person she once was. The beast railed against it's cage though, and her fingers on the wall slowly curled into a fist. They deserved death, someone just needed to be the killer.

Shanoed brings her other hand to her head, touching her fingers to her temple. "You are strong. Your whirlwind makes that obvious enough. So many winds wrap around you... I do not envy the trials you must have faced." Her hand came out to hover in the air around Cedric.

"If I do not kill, who will? Death is not always the answer, but sometimes it is the only option." This time, the question was directed at Cedric. "If someone must bear this weight, would it not be best to assign it to only one, so that the dark forces only corrupt one instead of many?"

Somebody has to be strong enough to do it. We're numb to it. We like the hunt. Shanoed turned her head slightly before shaking it. We are the hunter. We are the Crystal Spyder. Together, we are death.

She pressed her fingers into her temple, ignoring the voice. "Sometimes death is the only option.."

 

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Cedric was mindfully silent as Shanoed argued the ethics of murder. He understood her mindset - he had a similar one in his earlier days. Memories of blood drenched battlefields and cities brought low by orbital bombardment jostled at the corners of the Jedi's mind. He did well to ignore such unpleasantness - they were the last fragments of a life that he had long since left behind. Cedric's days of crusading were over.

"We all face our own trials," Cedric mused, willing away the memories that bubbled up from the depths of his psyche. They would do him no credit here, nor anywhere, better left to rot and be forgotten than to confront. "And you are right. Sometimes death is the only option, but it is our duty as guardians of the Force to try every avenue possible before that final juncture."

He paused, brow furrowing as he fought to explain his reasoning. "Let me tell you of a Sith Lord. He called himself Darth Vesper, though I knew him as Antherion once. Antherion was drawn to the shadow, raised to live in its depravity. His father hated him for his weakness, his mother was too cowardly to protect him. Antherion grew to be a monster, one even more terrible than his tyrannical father. He slew thousands in the Dark Side's name, and took great joy in it. He was as far fallen as any being could ever be."

The Jedi took in a deep breath, "I fought Antherion on Dubrillon. We battled for three hours - it was one of my life's greatest tests. I refused to kill him: I sought to understand why he had become the thing that he was. At first, he resisted me. He fought and cursed, threatened to slaughter my people and rape my sisters once he'd finishedkilling me. But then..."

Cedric reached up to tap his temple. "I found my opening. I invaded Antherion's mind, and I came to know him as well as I know myself. I saw what was beneath the monster: a scared, hopeless child, desperate for love and acceptance, and hating the world for denying it to him."

There was a melancholy to Cedric's words, "I embraced him, told him he could be far more than a killer. And he cried, there in my arms in the middle of a war. He cast aside his lightsaber, swore off his Sith title, and fled. I haven't seen him since, no one I know has, but I feel him in the Force. There is no more hate there, only a broken man, seeking to find a purpose beyond destruction."

Cedric drew in a deep breath after he finished speaking. "That is why we must always show mercy. Even the darkest of souls can be shown the Light. Only when that individual embraces damnation fully and responds to our acceptance with hatred is death the only option."

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

The hunter listened, but the beast struggled. Shanoed heard, but her mind was no longer just her own. She could no longer deny it any more, but was unwilling to admit it aloud. She couldn't just admit to that though. Wouldn't [member="Cedric Grayson"] believe she was crazy? Wouldn't he think her too dangerous?

She stayed perfectly quiet while she listened to Cedric, letting his words sink in. When he finished she turned her head away from him. "I remember them. The way the Force flowed angrily around them. The way they laughed. The saber piercing my mother's chest. The sound my father made when his head was severed from his neck." A hand was raised to the ribbon covering her eye sockets, hesitating for a moment before pulling it down. Like any Miraluka, she did not have eyes, but unlike most Miraluka, she had scars of old burns on her sockets.

"There was no kindness in those men. They killed my mother, my father, right before me. Did this to me..." Her fingers gingerly touched the old scars. "And left me for dead. A Luka Sene felt my dying energy calling to her through the Force, and found me. They nursed me back to health, taught me to harness my connection with the Force. Gave me the strength to protect people, to stop that from happening to someone else."

She turns her head further away from Cedric, letting her hand fall limp to her side. "And when I requested to go after those Sith, I was denied, because they were not Luka Sene, and thus not my concern. I kept tabs on them, saw the atrocities they committed." Shan grits her teeth in anger, though her voice remains calm.

"I left the Luka Sene. I hunted down the woman. She cursed me, flung hate at me, spat at my attempts to reach her. She knew just what to say. She was the first life I ever took. She wanted me to kill her. She knew they were there, they were watching. Turning to see my former comrades... staring at me like I was some kind of monster... Something in me snapped." Shanoed reached up with both hands, rubbing her face before fixing the ribbon so it hid her scarred sockets once more.

"I hunted those men next. I didn't thrill in the hunt then. It was quick, merciless, then never even knew they were being hunted. I cannot bring myself to regret what I did. I admit that.. I lost myself out there, I took lives I should not have... but those two particular deaths I will never regret." Her voice is solemn.

"My mind is broken, Cedric, but watching you makes me remember who I once was, before I let anger and vengeance consume me. I will fight the beast I created, but I cannot promise I will always be able to stay my blade. I also would be useless to you in politics. I abhor titles, and would only offend and disrupt.. I can only hope to protect you, that you may achieve your goals. That perhaps, I will find healing along the way."

 

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For all his talk of emotional control, Cedric was a particularly empathetic person. When Shanoed spoke of her past, he listened in respectful silence. something in the back of his mind told him that such a tale was not something she trusted with most, perhaps not with anyone. That she would elect to tell him now was indicative of the bond that had been forged between the two of them.

She spoke of Sith ending her family, of a woman that sought to see her fall. There were regrets in those words, the lack of them too, and fragments of the person that she had once been shining through the din of the story. Cedric came to understand the Miraluka, and he found himself rather moved.

"It is good they were brought to justice," Cedric replied plainly, "Sentient beings are fallible creatures. In a perfect galaxy, we might be able to see beyond the past to hope those sick in the mind. It's different when that sick person has damaged you, though, I know the feeling." There was sympathy in Cedric's voice, and a quiet somberness that was anything if not somber.

He stared into the empty sockets, memorizing the patterns of the scar tissue beneath her mask. Cedric shared many such scars. In a rare moment, Cedric reached over, his hand hovering hesitantly above her before he decided to drop it on her shoulder. His grip was loose, but it was an attempt. Physical contact was not something the Jedi Master particularly craved.

"I am happy to help you however I can. I am not certain I am the best example, I've made more mistakes than I can count," his brow furrowed. "But I'll try, if it'll help you. I'm glad you're with me, both for your company and for the future. You've the makings of a Jedi Shadow in you. Perhaps one day you could see them return to the galaxy."

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

A hand was placed on her shoulder. Her body tensed automatically, the beast railing against it's cage. Her hand came up quickly, grabbing Cedric's wrist in a tight grip, like she meant to throw it off of her. And then she froze. Slowly, her grip relaxed and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. She couldn't hurt [member="Cedric Grayson"]. He had already proven to her that he was a man who did not misuse the Force. He was not prey.

It only took a moment for her to fully process this was a good touch, a touch of comfort, and not one of attack, of harm. Then she lightly patted Cedric's hand, unsure what else to do. She wasn't used to physical contact of any kind, as her enemies so rarely got to lay a hand on her. When they did, it usually meant she was about to get hurt. But Cedric had never harmed her. Had protected her, and had even been injured while protecting her.

The memory made anger roll up in a ball in her chest before she dismissed it. The creature had paid for hurting Cedric. The memory brought a question back to her. She near forgot her hand was still patting Cedric's hand as she turned to face him fully. "That spirit, was it an ancestor of yours? It was testing you. Did you pass the test?"

She seemed to suddenly realize Cedric's hand was still on her shoulder and she side stepped, letting it fall away. She wasn't uncomfortable with it, per say, but currently didn't know how to feel about non-hostile physical contact.

 

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"I'm not certain." Cedric replied honestly, his brow furrowing at the question. It was one he had pondered himself more than he cared to admit. At the end of the trial, it felt as if he had succeeded, but doubt set in shortly after the return to Coruscant.

Logically, he assumed he'd passed it, otherwise the two of them likely wouldn't have been able to leave the academy without a fight. Still, parts of him told him that he'd failed in the endeavor. They were the doubts stalking through the dark corners of his mind: insecurities that were not fitting for a Jedi Master to have. "I think I did. Given that we were allowed to leave without a fight, then I assume as such anyway, and the spirit did seem pleased."

His gaze traveled off for a moment, before returning to the Miraluka.

"I've had more tests and trials lately than I would have ever expected when I started down the Jedi path. It's hard to truly know if you've passed them successfully. It's all a means of tempering a Jedi's soul, I suppose."

Cedric shrugged.

"I don't mean to pry, but I'd to know your story. I know of your induction to the Luka Sene and what was the catalyst for it, but I know little of this woman that you claim you once were." His arms folded about his chest, "And I think I'd like to."

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

Trials. Sometimes one never understood their purpose. It seemed that had been one such trial. One set by his ancestors. Had he succeeded? By choosing not to allow her to make the requested sacrifice, he had been cut off from speaking with his ancestors, and gaining their wisdom. However, he had shown great courage as well. "You didn't need to stop me. We were strangers, and you still had no way of knowing I wasn't going to turn on you."

She tilted her head slightly. "But you did. You refused to allow someone you didn't even know sacrifice and be harmed, even though you knew doing so would mean you would lose the guidance of your ancestors. That is.." Shan pauses, running a hand through her silky blonde hair, pulling a few strands loose from her braid. "I would say it was an action performed in Ashla's light."

His question gave her pause. Had she ever truly talked to anyone about her life? Certainly not since she had left the Luka Sene. She eventually nodded slowly. "I was a.. scarred child. I had already seen things many of my peers didn't see until we were much older. It made me something of an outcast for many years. I was lonely.. but it enabled me to focus on learning, on training, on becoming better, stronger, faster." The Miraluka's expression is solemn as she seems to be looking off into space.

"Then, they started looking at training me to be a Seeker. People started taking notice of me, and Izza... was very persistent." A rare, warm laugh slips from her lips as her expression softens. "She was never deterred by my cold behavior. She eventually chipped away the ice and we were fast friends. I guess, seeing me with her made others want to befriend me as well. A.. a lot changed for me. I even had a boyfriend for a little bit. Can you imagine that?" Shan smiled at [member="Cedric Grayson"] before shaking her head. "I almost forgot about why I had been brought there. The place I'd left. The things I'd seen. I wanted to fight with them. To defend Ashla. To... to be a Force User that children would look up to in awe, instead of fear.."

 

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To Cedric, the decision back in the academy had been an obvious one. It was not his Jedi training that had guided his decision, but simple morality. "What sort of man would I be if I let a stranger suffer to serve my ends?" He asked, "Not a very good one, I'd think. It wasn't just me in there - you helped me deal with that terentatek. I don't have the best track record with those bastards." He continued, nose scrunching up with distaste as memories of previous encounters with the beast made their unpleasant presence known.

"But, yes, I suppose it was guided by the Ashla. Most good deeds are." He added, running a hand over the crop of black hair that he'd allowed to grow recently. His advisers had informed him that the approval ratings for a bald man were far lower than one with hair - something he felt was quite stupid, but it was a small sacrifice to make for the public's love.

Shanoed spoke of her past, and Cedric felt he understood. Much like the Miraluka, Cedric had gone through a rather troubled upbringing, and isolation had been its chief sin. "I felt similarly when I was a kid. No one wants to be friends with the prince - they're all too intimidated, or they want something from you." He added, going silent as she continued.

Shanoed laughed, and Cedric blinked with surprise. He hadn't heard her do so since they'd met; it suited her. "You with a boyfriend?" He cracked an amused little smile, "Not that you aren't worth of one, just seem a bit rigid I suppose," he added, realizing how the question might have sounded.

He paused, curiosity lacing his words, "What happened to your friend, Izza?" He lofted a brow, "Is she still with the Luka Sene?"

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

Shanoed looked at [member="Cedric Grayson"] in quiet consideration for a moment before she shook her head. "You are not a prince to me. You are not Imperator. You are Cedric. We met in ruins, and fought side by side in what likely could have been a deadly fight for either of us alone. You are a man, who is strong with the Force, and acted honorably, despite my obvious threats. You intrigued me, you still do. You are a curiosity, but that is not why I follow you. You are a man of action, you fight alongside your men. You are a man of compassion, you allowed the people of Coruscant to remain and be full members of the Imperium. You are a man of wisdom, you allowed former leadership to retain a position of leadership, so they are not left feeling jaded. You are a man of strength, despite all the trials you have faced, here you stand."

She turned her head away from him. She was not complimenting him, she was stating facts, simple observations. "Izza... Izza was with them. There was such horror, such sorrow in her when she saw me... I was no longer the friend she remembered. I had taken my first life." She falls silent for a moment.

"Izza is still with the Luka Sene. She is likely one of the Seekers assigned to tracking me down. They will learn that I am here eventually. They will want to take me back, to heal my mind." Shan put a hand to her head as she leaned her other hand against the wall. The beast did not like that idea. We are not sick!

"I'm sorry I... am not fully myself, it would appear." She shook her head, sighing softly. "Perhaps my mind truly is broken.. Perhaps it would be best if I did let the Luka Sene take me. I am a risk to you, and to what you are building."

 

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Cedric blinked at Shanoed, and instantly found himself grateful that she might not register the gesture. Her tone was rather matter of fact, but the words she spoke were all flattery. It wasn't every day one was told exactly what their merits were, but Cedric found himself appreciating it. He spent more time than most might expect picking himself apart. It was his duty, after all. For all the virtues he espoused onto others, he must always be vigilant that he not prove himself a hypocrite. If Shanoed was correct in everything she was saying, then perhaps he wasn't one.

It was a comforting thought.

"I appreciate your words," Cedric finally replied, his tone slightly overwhelmed, but in a pleasant fashion. "I hope I can continue to be those things. Call me on it if I ever falter," he added, pausing to listen to the rest of her words.

There was a sadness to her words that tugged at Cedric's heart. He frowned, deciding whether to reach out to place a reassuring hand upon her shoulder, and seemed to think better of it. "You don't need them," he stated plainly. "You are your own woman, and you own your mistakes. You know your actions weren't right, and you regret them. That isn't something someone with a sick mind is capable of," he paused, "I'll teach you whatever I can. When you see her again, she won't be looking upon a lost friend, but a Jedi Knight, one that can stand alongside her just as in the past." There was a conviction to his words that could often be heard when he gave his political speeches.

"You are no risk to me, Shanoed." He added, his voice softening, "You're making progress. Don't doubt yourself."

[member="Shanoed Marais"]

 

[Shanoed Marais]

Shan tapped her fingers on the wall, nodding slowly. There was a fracture in her psyche, a split in her personality caused by her isolation. She took a deep breath as she listened to him. His assurances did help to soothe her nerves. She was a reclusive creature, and had begun to fear her presence would be frowned upon.

She reached up, lightly tapping her temple as she smiled at Cedric. "You are talking to Shanoed, but the woman you met, she is the Spyder. Danger, conflict, blood, those kinds of things bring her out. Survival. A beast. It has been calm here.... Dare I say, safe. It has been so long since I've been able to sleep without fearing some creature will come and steal my food. Should someone threaten you, I could snap."

Shanoed fell quiet for a moment before looking around the room. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she looked at [member="Cedric Grayson"] with an expression of alarm. "Please don't make me wear shoes. I'll even make sure my dresses and robes are long enough to hide my bare feet, but I simply abhor not feeling the ground beneath me."

It was completely random, but seemed to mean a lot to her. "I have trained my Force Sight above and beyond that of normal Miraluka, but I had also honed my other senses, on the off chance someone is able to blind me, even going so far as to blind myself to train." She had come to rely on the subtle vibrations that traveled through the ground, the subtle hiss of air being displaced, the subtle shifting of smells.