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Approved Species Ragna Dragon

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red_eyes_darkness_dragon_by_red_eyesdarknessd-d6itgv2.jpg

http://www.deviantart.com/art/Red-Eyes-Darkness-Dragon-394405022

Name: Ragna Dragon
Designation: Semi-sentient
Homeworld: Echidna
Language (Understood not spoken): Vong, Galactic Basic.
Average height of adults: 12 Meters High, 25 meter Wingspan, 50 Meters from mouth to tail.
Skin color: Black/Indigo
Hair color: none
Breathes: Type 1
Flight: 100kph,2890m ceiling (unable to outfly a starfighter)
Role: Heavy Armor
Strengths:

  • Fire Breath: as with Tejdóru dragons, the Ragna species shares this trait of being able to spew flames from their maw and nostrils (maw has a range of 15 meters, nostrils have a range of around 1 meter.) the flames they breath burn a dark black color and burn at a high temperature. Fire is created by two chemical compounds mixing. each produced by glands which can be used at will and are located in the body of the dragon and mixed in the back of the throat of the Ragna dragon, likewise this means the beasts insides are unharmed by fire or chemical mixture. The Dragon is not taxed by this physically however this limits the amount of time the dragon can hold a flame and how much fire they can spew per day (if stretched over a single long breath it would equal around 30 minutes of fire however the dragon can only sustain the flame for 30-50 seconds)

  • Force Dead: Born on the world of echidna from Yuuzhan Vong Shapers the Ragna dragon is force dead like any other creature shaped by the Yuuzhan Vong. However physical force attacks such as lightning can still affect it and hurt it.

  • Hardened scales: Ragna dragons have scales that are harder and more durable than that of the Tejdóru Dragon, (Due to DNA from the amphistaff) slug throwers are ineffective towards its scales. Blaster fire isnt much better yet still is able to harm the beast albeit slowly. Their scales were created using the DNA of Amphistaffs giving them a better resistance to lightsabres but still vulnerable to them. Plasma based weaponry is the best option to fight a ragna dragon due to the ability to melt through most organic material and stick to the target

  • Mild Telepathy: Caused by the surge coral implanted into their young at birth the Ragna dragon has the ability to use mild telepathy, by thinking of words the coral will then communicate (mostly in broken Basic and Vongese) to the rider. Likewise the Yuuzhan Vong are the only ones who can hear this or anyone else implanted with surge coral.

  • Night vision: These are hardened predators of the the Vong homeworld of Echidna, They have been gifted with the power of perfect sight in total darkness

  • Immense size- The Ragna Dragon is quite large and being stepped on by one is usually fatal.

  • Claw and fang: its teeth and claws are able to crush and tear apart almost anything able to pierce anything up to class 6 armor and strong enough to crush anything but the hardest metals. Mandolorian iron being the only thing that is strong enough to withstand the dragons crushing bite. (that is to say the metal survived whatever is inside might not be so lucky)

  • Bladed tail: The Vong usually attach blades to the Monstrous tail making the already whiplike and powerful tail even more dangerous. if crushing wasnt good enough have fun being impaled/rend in 2

Weaknesses:

  • Heavy scales: at the cost of the more durable scales maneuverability and speed in flight have been slightly diminished

  • Yammosk handler: If the Yammosk controlling the creature is destroyed the beast will lose control and attack anything and everything that it sees friend or foe the creature will destroy anything until it is put down

  • No arms: this is pretty self explanatory why its a weakness. this means the majority of weapons are out the door along with the ability to pick most objects up while on solid ground.

  • Enslaved: The species was created and is now enslaved by the Vong. At birth, each dragon is implanted with Surge coral or Yorik-Kul by a Vong warrior that has earned the honor of being a rider. That rider now has a Life bond with that dragon and will be its rider permanantly.

  • Shortened lifespan: the species grows quickly however the aging process is much quicker than that of the Tejdóru dragons the average lifespan of a Ragna Dragon is about 80 years and maturity is reached around 20.

  • Size: this leaves them to stay in ship hangars (one could fit 20 dragons in a Ranator if all are seperated, to give the dragons enough room to travel without a fight breaking out. ) interplanetary travel, indoor combat would also be hard considering that movement and flight are two of its best strengths in combat. this also makes them a very large target in battle

  • Weak wings: the wings are a soft spot in the armor and can be penetrated if concentrated on by blaster fire that can bring the creature to the ground (however being closer might not be a good thing)

Distinctions: Size, Dragon shaped, fire breath, wings, red crystal augmentations (purely for looks)

Average Lifespan: 80 years

Races: none

Diet: Meat: IE Droid Breakers, Banthas, Nerfs. , Vong blood is lethally toxic if ingested in large quantities (5.5 liters)

Communication: Facial expressions and limited telepathy

Culture: very small in numbers (in the 100s area) these dragons prefer seclusion from others of their species, save for mating (which is signaled by mating songs), battle or the summons of their riders. Seclusion is preferable to the species due to the fact that food is scarce enough for their fast metabolism and simply sharing the space or prey in a single 100 mile radius would be stressful to both creatures. Territorial battles are often held sometimes leading to death of one of the combatants however this is not the usual case.
Technology level: none

General behavior:
Each dragon has its own personality, however: Pride, short tempered, witty and sharp tongued could easily describe the species as a whole. In large groups (5 or 6) fights are known to break out from competitiveness as well as envy. it should be noted that a Ragna dragon will lie and cheat to get its own way be very cautious of this, as it may be the flesh you are wearing that it desires. It needs to be said that these creatures are far from stupid, each one capable of learning complex riddles, puzzles and even the ability to learn very quickly from those around it. Its first instinct is to watch its prey and gather knowledge on it before rushing headlong into an attack. To touch a dragons head is to be granted acceptance by the dragon even Vong know not to dare touch its crown unless given the right to do so by the giant beasts. A Ragna dragon takes great offense to any that claim another may be stronger than itself.



History: The Tejdóru dragon was the base for the DNA of the Ragna dragon. The source material being found as the Yuuzhan Vong took Aurum, the Tejdóru dragon samples taken from captured dragons. These magnificent beasts were shaped using the DNA of the Tejdóru dragon, the Drexl, and the Amphistaff to create a new and improved warbeast capable of bringing glory to the Vong and Horde. Each of the first dragons has had its growth accelerated to bring the beasts to maturity (this shortened the normally very long lifespan to something average, to them and any offspring they would have) each dragon showing a very hardy nature by having the ability to live on Echidna without Vong intervention and care.

After birth, the dragons showed exceptionally strong will. The Vong unable to control the beasts at first took the measure of implanting Surge coral into each of the experiments. A long and dangerous task as each was already full grown. Afterward as expected each were strong and loyal beasts to the Horde quickly learning Vongese and communicating via coral telepathy. The most notable of the first dragons being dragon 06 the first one able to hold a full conversation with another species (before burning it to a crisp)
Each dragon is currently in training to become a mount unit carrying up to 3 people on its back and a war beast strong enough to decimate the enemy.

Notable Player-Characters: Nocturna

Dev thread: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/25473-crystal-harvest-horde-dominion-of-aurum/page-2
Intent: To create a warbeast for The Horde that will be fun to RP as. As well as make another species of dragon.
 

Valik

Professor of Alchemy
Break said:
Designation: Sentient
Arkanian Dragons in canon are listed as Semi-Sentient, and the Yuuzhan Vong would not raise a species to sentience that they intended to be a war beast. Switch this to Semi-Sentient please.



Break said:
Language: Vong, Common
'Common' is not a language, I believe you are referring to Galactic Basic. In any case as this creature needs to be edited to semi-sentient you'll need to take out it's ability to speak languages. A note that they've been conditioned to understand Vongese would be a nice touch, but is not required.

Fire Breath- as with Arkadian dragons, the Ragna species shares this trait of being able to spew flames from their maw and nostrils (maw has a range of 15 meters, nostrils have a range of around 1 meter.) the flames they breath burn a dark black color and burn at a high temperature.
I'd like more elaboration on how long the beast can breath fire and how taxing it is to breath fire for the creature. Do they exhale fire instinctively or can they control when they do and don't breah fire?

Hardened scales- Ragna dragons have scales that are harder and more durable than that of the Arkadian Dragon.
I'd like an elaboration on exactly how durable the hide of the Ragna Dragon is. How resistant is it to blasters, slugthrowers, vibroblades, lightsabers, laser cannons etc.



Break said:
Apex predator- Gifted with razor sharp claws and teeth these monsters should be feared
Exactly how sharp are these teeth and claws? Give me examples of how it would deal with different materials.


No arms- this is pretty self explanatory why its a weakness
I'd prefer an explanation to this. You are adding a new species into the lore of SWRP, giving avenues for every player to explore through character interaction or merely by NPC's the Ragna Dragon. You should leave nothing to interpretation.



Break said:
Enslaved-The species was created and is now enslaved by the Vong
Exactly how have they been enslaved? Does it have anything to do with the Yorik-Kul?



Break said:
Shortened lifespan- the species grows quickly however the aging process is much quicker than that of the Arkadian dragons the average lifespan of a Ragna Dragon is about 150 years and maturity is reached around 20.

These statements are contradictory. I want to say the average life span for near humans is around 85 or so years. Nearly doubling that is not a shortened life span.



Break said:
Size- this leaves them out for most interplanetary travel.
There is a lot of room for interpretation here. I'm going to need an example of what ship could transport how many with how many sacrifices to other systems.

Diet: Meat, Vong blood is toxic if ingested in large quantities
I'd like an elaboration on how much blood is how toxic please.

Communication: Telepathy, speech.
As I've said before, this needs to be semi-sentient, so you'll need to lose speech. However, there have been canon semi-sentient species that have mild telepathic abilities, so that can stay, but if it does I'll need a lengthy explanation on why the Ragna Dragon has those capabilities and what it's limits are.



Break said:
Culture: very small in numbers (in the 100s area) these dragons prefer seclusion from others of their species, save for mating, battle or the summons of their masters.
Aside from some mild grammatical touch ups, I'd like a little more elaboration on why they have these tendencies. Why do they prefer seclusion yet are okay with one another in battle? How do they know when/how to bypass other's seclusion for courtship? Is their seclusion due to wanting to be alone or being territorial?



Break said:
General behavior: Each dragon has its own personality, however: Pride, short tempered, witty and sharp tongued could easily describe the species as a whole. In large groups (5 or 6) fights are known to break out from sheer competitiveness as well as envy. it should be noted that a Ragna dragon will lie and cheat to get its own way be very cautious of this, as it may be the flesh you are wearing that it desires.
This'll need a huge overhaul, and not only because of the descension from sentience to semi-sentience. Why do they think the way they do? Is it something that is a came from the Arkanian Dragon heritage, something that was inbred to them by the Vong, or something that they developed themselves over time. How do they react to other species besides the Vong? How do they treat their young and their mates? There are a lot of unanswered questions here.



Break said:
History: The Arkadian dragon was the base for the DNA of the Ragna dragon, 3 years after the creation of the weather station was created the first 10 Ragna Dragons were created, the tiny lifeforms deadly at a young age quickly became a flying unit for the Vong. The species has currently never left the Vong homeworld and are classified from outside knowlege. currently there are close to 100 living Ragna dragons on Echidna,
How did the Yuuzhan Vong get access to Arkanian Dragon DNA when they've been thought to be extinct since 4000 BBY? What is the weather station? How do they serve the Vong as a flying unit? Are they mounted akin to the Drexl? How many does it take to pilot one if so? Your last sentence is incomplete, and also contradicts itself. Zenoma Sekot is the Vong Homeworld, and even though you state 'The Species has never left" there you later state there are around a hundred living on Echidna? Do the Ragna only live on Zenoma Sekot or Echidna or both?


Overall this entire submission is going to take a huge overhaul. A typical submission has a few sentences to a paragraph for each weakness/strength and several paragraphs for culture, behavior and history. While this won't necessarily need that sort of length it needs quite a bit more meat on it's bones as it currently stands. Furthermore due to the creature's size and flying I'll need to know how maneuverable it is in comparison to starships, as well as what the creature's tendencies in the Force are. @me when you're ready.


@[member="Break"]
 
@[member="Valik"]

hey as for the maneuverability compared to a starfighter i have no idea how to compare the two as this dragon cannot fly in space and isnt near fast enough to compete with any ship furthermore the flight is wingpowered so....
 

Valik

Professor of Alchemy
I'd still prefer a comparison to a starfighter rather than kph, as Starfighters are in general the most commonly used air defense as well as space defense.

I'd also prefer us to go away from using armor classes. This is more akin to a tank or a gunship than infantry and it should be treated as such.

As we discussed privately this'll need a/some dev threads before I can approve it.


@[member="Break"]
 
The Admiralty
Codex Judge
My apologies for this taking so long.

The General Behavior, and the History need a lot more work. Think at least a paragraph or two each.
The Apex-strength needs more clarification, use the different armor quality types to elaborate on the strength.
Size, I need you to pick out a specific ship, and tell me how many would fit in its hangar. Keep in mind, these species will be used by other people, and leaving things up to interpretation can allow for misusage.

Tag me when you are done.

[member="Break"]
 
Claw and fang: its teeth and claws are able to crush and tear apart almost anything able to pierce anything up to class 6 armor and strong enough to crush anything but the hardest metals. Mandolorian iron being the only thing that is strong enough to withstand the dragons crushing blows. (that is to say the metal survived whatever is inside might not be so lucky)

is now the alpha strength


[member="Jared Ovmar"]
 
The Admiralty
Codex Judge
You forgot to mention how many Dragons would fit in ship x. Tell me what ship it is (Just pick one from the factory) and then give me a rough estimate on how much would fit in it.

Tag me when you are done editing.


[member="Break"]
 
Size- this leaves them to stay in ship hangars (one could fit 20 dragons in a Ranator if all are seperated, to give the dragons enough room to travel without a fight breaking out. ) interplanetary travel, indoor combat would also be hard considering that movement and flight are two of its best strengths in combat. this also makes them a very large target in battle

[member="Jared Ovmar"]
 
The Admiralty
Codex Judge
Alright, right this instant I don't see anything wrong with it. Going to take a fresh look tomorrow.
I do want to try and fix up your layout, do I have your permission to edit your submission and clean it a bit up?

[member="Break"]
 
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