soft epilogue
The line in front of them stretched several meters away from the entrance to the med bay, and Loske's stomach dropped. It shouldn't have been a surprise, given the number of people who were fleeing Brentaal. There was a medical droid making its way down the line with a datpad. The 2-1b unit was responsible for delivering the unsavoury news about capacity, depending on the severity of those looking to gain admittance.
They stopped a few feet away from the cluster, and out of the droid's range. The sound of statuses was nothing more than white noise, falling into rhythm with the fall of footsteps on the metal flooring and random shifting of machinery.
His words almost made her numb. Mostly because it wasn't something that she was dealing with herself. It was real. The crowd ahead of them reminded her just how many people were feeling a similar dread. The weight of loss on this ship would be enough to bring it down, anchoring it to lowest realms of despair. The pause came with a purposeful adjustment, and Loske took a second to look down at her hand, then back up at him wearily. It wasn't uncommon for people to seek physical ways to unburden themselves after a stressful situation. There'd been plenty of times the locker rooms after Rogue or Wraith missions were exceptionally steamy after a triumphant run; the adrenaline, oxycontin and endorphin diffusion from mammals usually spurred them to be more irrational and seek some sort of other adrenaline-fuelling release. Squadrons often broke off into pairs of tomfoolery, embracing the living for tonight, dying tomorrow mentality.
Due in part to being a weird balance of painfully naive and sarcastically flirtatious, she'd always avoided such short sighted intimacies and played for the longterm game. Relationships were the most important thing to her in the galaxy; stemming from her abandonment issues and the gratification that came with self direction and the power to make her own choices. Choosing who she affiliated with, and drew into her circle and having that reciprocated was the core of her motivations -- it's what helped make her human. The relationships she had were the closest she could get to empathizing with those she was so altruistically motivated to protect. Negatively though, her desire to have close friendships put her in a precarious position of being too friendly sometimes. Kaili had warned her about that, she she'd pish-poshed her friend away.
Her fingers twitched in response, torn between wanting to give him the support he sought and maintaining boundaries. Or at least giving herself the space to process. She was limp for the most part, treating the hand-holding gesture as a way for them to focus on the exchange between them; she squared to face him to help suggest the interaction was to facilitate a more personal conversation rather than speaking out the sides of their mouths and only exchanging side glances. It was as subtle as it was purposeful.
"Yeah.."
Maynard Treicolt
's empathy took her someplace far from the corridors of The Radiance. Her expression became distant and sad, lending her imagination to the worst case scenarios before countering it with something marginally more positive. "I can feel Cedric's alive....barely, but better than.." she admitted quietly, her countenance wan and a broadcast of her exhaustion. The kiffar didn't have that metaphysical bond luxury with Ryv. For the most part, she only had Maynard's gut and uncharacteristic optimism. Anything that was quivering and threatening to spill out of her eyes or, heaven forbid, her nose, slowly started to seep through; dotting at her tear ducts. "I really hope you're right.
Honestly, I'll probably be ready to talk about it after a good cry or something. It's all too surreal right now to process. Talking to you has been a pretty good distraction." Loske admitted with a downcast titter. Focusing on someone else's problems helped put some distance with her own. And while she was pretty good at parsing through the complexities of someone else's issues, she was awful at being pragmatic and compartmentalizing her own.
She hadn't been built for emotion. It was like a river running through her mind and she couldn't keep up; lest she be eroded by the pressure.
His sincerity was unnervingly sweet, and moved her to act out of instinctual innocence and appreciation. She leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek, taking heed to avoid any torn flesh.
"Thank you." she gave his hands a squeeze, forgetful of the aches he was probably suffering. "I think we're both going to need it." The mutual support, being the proverbial 'it'. "This feels like the beginning of a really bad time to come."
Serendipity was on her side.
Ailment? The 1-2B unit interrupted, it's hollow white-glowing eyes staring at the space between the jedi. Loske retracted with a startled step back, and gave a bit of a gesture in Maynard's direction. It seemed to detect something, and it rotated slightly to absorb more of a visual on Maynard and ran a bioscan on his person through it's receptors. Physical damage: Concussion, minor lacerations, bruising and other physical detriment. Our bay is at capacity. Anything that is a non-emergency will have to wait until we reach Anaxes station.
You are not classified as an emergency.
The droid, with a masculine inflection to it's automated sounding voice, paused. It extended a metallic hand and offered data chip for Maynard to take. A sort of fast pass to access the bay on the station.
Loske used this opportunity to release her grip so he could take the token, and ran her hands over her face in distress and wipe away any build up of tears. How much was a lot? More than a friend a lot? Probably, otherwise, why would he say anything? She ruminated on this and his vulnerability while the droid assessed her friend, chewing on the inside of her cheek. He couldn't sustain any more hurt, and she didn't want to deliver any more. His proclamation of emotion was going to short circuit her manufactured mind while circulating through the implications of that sentiment. As much as she might have wanted to sink into some warm arms right now, her throat tightened at the consequences and unfairness of that selfish sanctuary seeking.
Clear is kind. Clear is kind - she reminded herself. Could he handle kindness right now?
Recalculating. We'll be arriving in seven minutes. This queue is being redirected with priority to their facilities. You can join them. In the mean time, avoid brightly lit areas and alcohol. Get some rest.
The droid trundled away, seeking the next patient to redirect.
There was a slight adjustment to the maneuverability of the massive flagship as it snapped into realspace, adjusting it's speed to prepare for docking aboard the massive Anaxes space station. Above them, speakers relayed instructions from the control room about off boarding and where everyone was supposed to go, who they were supposed to listen to, when they arrived on Anaxes.
Loske decided that Maynard was probably moved to emotion based on the sudden reality of mortality he'd been faced with. Cedric had almost done that once, many months before any actual move had been made, and she'd avoided that too. Such was the folly of humanity. Close encounters with death were a rallying motivation to try and live a bit more. "If we're going to keep being around for each other, you should probably follow the doc's advice." She offered, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She'd given herself fifteen minutes until she shut down from exhaustion, and that timer was ticking. Part of her evasion was selfish, even if she made the excuse that it was out of preservation of the foundation of their friendship. "Maybe you don't need the med bay, but sleep some of it off." Her hands pushed up at her jawline and up the bottom of her ears in tense thought. Whimsy slipped through her considerations - "It'd be nice if this was all a dream."
The PA system vocalized again, announcing that reinforcements from The Core and the Jedi Order would be meeting them at their destination to provide aid. Loske could hear a sigh of relief through the ship. More Jedi, more friends. A good distraction that would help ground them back in the reality of everything, and not being insulated in their mutual pain.
They stopped a few feet away from the cluster, and out of the droid's range. The sound of statuses was nothing more than white noise, falling into rhythm with the fall of footsteps on the metal flooring and random shifting of machinery.
His words almost made her numb. Mostly because it wasn't something that she was dealing with herself. It was real. The crowd ahead of them reminded her just how many people were feeling a similar dread. The weight of loss on this ship would be enough to bring it down, anchoring it to lowest realms of despair. The pause came with a purposeful adjustment, and Loske took a second to look down at her hand, then back up at him wearily. It wasn't uncommon for people to seek physical ways to unburden themselves after a stressful situation. There'd been plenty of times the locker rooms after Rogue or Wraith missions were exceptionally steamy after a triumphant run; the adrenaline, oxycontin and endorphin diffusion from mammals usually spurred them to be more irrational and seek some sort of other adrenaline-fuelling release. Squadrons often broke off into pairs of tomfoolery, embracing the living for tonight, dying tomorrow mentality.
Due in part to being a weird balance of painfully naive and sarcastically flirtatious, she'd always avoided such short sighted intimacies and played for the longterm game. Relationships were the most important thing to her in the galaxy; stemming from her abandonment issues and the gratification that came with self direction and the power to make her own choices. Choosing who she affiliated with, and drew into her circle and having that reciprocated was the core of her motivations -- it's what helped make her human. The relationships she had were the closest she could get to empathizing with those she was so altruistically motivated to protect. Negatively though, her desire to have close friendships put her in a precarious position of being too friendly sometimes. Kaili had warned her about that, she she'd pish-poshed her friend away.
Her fingers twitched in response, torn between wanting to give him the support he sought and maintaining boundaries. Or at least giving herself the space to process. She was limp for the most part, treating the hand-holding gesture as a way for them to focus on the exchange between them; she squared to face him to help suggest the interaction was to facilitate a more personal conversation rather than speaking out the sides of their mouths and only exchanging side glances. It was as subtle as it was purposeful.
"Yeah.."
Maynard Treicolt
's empathy took her someplace far from the corridors of The Radiance. Her expression became distant and sad, lending her imagination to the worst case scenarios before countering it with something marginally more positive. "I can feel Cedric's alive....barely, but better than.." she admitted quietly, her countenance wan and a broadcast of her exhaustion. The kiffar didn't have that metaphysical bond luxury with Ryv. For the most part, she only had Maynard's gut and uncharacteristic optimism. Anything that was quivering and threatening to spill out of her eyes or, heaven forbid, her nose, slowly started to seep through; dotting at her tear ducts. "I really hope you're right.Honestly, I'll probably be ready to talk about it after a good cry or something. It's all too surreal right now to process. Talking to you has been a pretty good distraction." Loske admitted with a downcast titter. Focusing on someone else's problems helped put some distance with her own. And while she was pretty good at parsing through the complexities of someone else's issues, she was awful at being pragmatic and compartmentalizing her own.
She hadn't been built for emotion. It was like a river running through her mind and she couldn't keep up; lest she be eroded by the pressure.
His sincerity was unnervingly sweet, and moved her to act out of instinctual innocence and appreciation. She leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek, taking heed to avoid any torn flesh.
"Thank you." she gave his hands a squeeze, forgetful of the aches he was probably suffering. "I think we're both going to need it." The mutual support, being the proverbial 'it'. "This feels like the beginning of a really bad time to come."
Serendipity was on her side.
Ailment? The 1-2B unit interrupted, it's hollow white-glowing eyes staring at the space between the jedi. Loske retracted with a startled step back, and gave a bit of a gesture in Maynard's direction. It seemed to detect something, and it rotated slightly to absorb more of a visual on Maynard and ran a bioscan on his person through it's receptors. Physical damage: Concussion, minor lacerations, bruising and other physical detriment. Our bay is at capacity. Anything that is a non-emergency will have to wait until we reach Anaxes station.
You are not classified as an emergency.
The droid, with a masculine inflection to it's automated sounding voice, paused. It extended a metallic hand and offered data chip for Maynard to take. A sort of fast pass to access the bay on the station.
Loske used this opportunity to release her grip so he could take the token, and ran her hands over her face in distress and wipe away any build up of tears. How much was a lot? More than a friend a lot? Probably, otherwise, why would he say anything? She ruminated on this and his vulnerability while the droid assessed her friend, chewing on the inside of her cheek. He couldn't sustain any more hurt, and she didn't want to deliver any more. His proclamation of emotion was going to short circuit her manufactured mind while circulating through the implications of that sentiment. As much as she might have wanted to sink into some warm arms right now, her throat tightened at the consequences and unfairness of that selfish sanctuary seeking.
Clear is kind. Clear is kind - she reminded herself. Could he handle kindness right now?
Recalculating. We'll be arriving in seven minutes. This queue is being redirected with priority to their facilities. You can join them. In the mean time, avoid brightly lit areas and alcohol. Get some rest.
The droid trundled away, seeking the next patient to redirect.
There was a slight adjustment to the maneuverability of the massive flagship as it snapped into realspace, adjusting it's speed to prepare for docking aboard the massive Anaxes space station. Above them, speakers relayed instructions from the control room about off boarding and where everyone was supposed to go, who they were supposed to listen to, when they arrived on Anaxes.
Loske decided that Maynard was probably moved to emotion based on the sudden reality of mortality he'd been faced with. Cedric had almost done that once, many months before any actual move had been made, and she'd avoided that too. Such was the folly of humanity. Close encounters with death were a rallying motivation to try and live a bit more. "If we're going to keep being around for each other, you should probably follow the doc's advice." She offered, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She'd given herself fifteen minutes until she shut down from exhaustion, and that timer was ticking. Part of her evasion was selfish, even if she made the excuse that it was out of preservation of the foundation of their friendship. "Maybe you don't need the med bay, but sleep some of it off." Her hands pushed up at her jawline and up the bottom of her ears in tense thought. Whimsy slipped through her considerations - "It'd be nice if this was all a dream."
The PA system vocalized again, announcing that reinforcements from The Core and the Jedi Order would be meeting them at their destination to provide aid. Loske could hear a sigh of relief through the ship. More Jedi, more friends. A good distraction that would help ground them back in the reality of everything, and not being insulated in their mutual pain.