Private Quiet in the Library

[Loomi]

Quiet in the Library
Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

Loomi was having a rough week. Her changing body was not yet something she had fully grappled her head around. It was strange. Mutation was really the last thing that she expected to throw her life out of balance, but here she had a pair of very small and very useless wings. Just one more thing to add to how confusing she was. That wasn't the issue she was trying to tackle today, however, as Loomi sat in the archives of the Jedi Temple facing down the single greatest adversary she had faced upon her joining of the Order...

She needed to learn how to read.

Unfortunately, however, things weren't going so well. Certain letters and sounds changed how they functioned, weird replacements occurred word after word, and she could hardly comprehend the definition of some words when she didn't know what the words defining them meant. More and more, as her lone good eye scanned the lists of beginner words and sentences she had collected, everything seemed to slowly blend together. Her vision got progressively worse, all leading up to the moment that everything fell apart. In an instant the Godoan was no longer capable of seeing the words at all.

She was sobbing uncontrollably now. It was pointless. All of her attempts to make progress only put her back to square one, leaving her more confused than where she was when she started. Her attempts to muffle her crying were, frankly, pointless. Loomi laid her head down on the table she was sitting at, her tears pooling up just next to where her cheek was pressed against the cold surface.

This was pointless. She reasoned it was probably best to simply return to her room. Unfortunately she couldn't find the willpower to move herself.

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

A gaggle of younglings marched single file into the library, escorted by their instructor, Master Rue, a stiff-lipped old lady with white hair bound in a severe bun. Kass was sorting books when they arrived, neatly arranging the shelves with her numerous pseudopods while her countless eyes scanned their labels.

Master Rue paused, then walked toward Kass. She cleared her throat before asking, “Is everything ready for the younglings?”

“Yes,” Kass replied. She rather liked Master Rue, though the feeling probably wasn’t mutual. The old woman may have been stuffy and harsh, but she treated all people the same. There was a small comfort to be found in the equality with which she judged everyone. You always knew where you stood with her. “Everything is laid out in the small meeting room. I even warmed up the hot iron beforehand,” Kass added. “Hopefully none of the kids have gotten a hold of it yet…”

Master Rue’s eyebrows shot up and she hurried off to mind her flock. Kass smiled and went back to her work—only to pause when she heard crying coming from the study area. She peeked around the corner to see what was going on, and saw only a lone bug-like alien sitting at a table, her head down and her shoulders shaking with sobs.

Kass slowly slithered toward her, coming up behind her chair and then around to her right side. “Hello?” she asked tentatively, gaze roaming over the numerous books sprawled across the table before her. The selection seemed entirely random, with items taken from every part of the library with no unifying theme to connect them. “Miss, are you all right?”

Loomi​

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

“Miss, are you all right?”

Loomi's good eye glanced up, her gaze fixing on what she quickly identified as the library lady. She sounded like a lady anyways. Her biology was confusing, but she didn't really mind that. The Godoan just liked that she sounded sweet. It made the Jedi Master's words a bit more comforting, even if she had never had the courage to approach and engage in a conversation before.

"N-no," Loomi sniffled, sitting up and wiping her eye. "I-I can't figure it out. Something about the sounds a-and the spelling... I-I just can't read any of it."

The girl pulled her mechanical feet up onto her chair, wrapping her arms around her legs and leaning against her prosthetic knees. It seemed hopeless. She wasn't even just a little girl learning the basics for the first time, she was... older, at least. Loomi didn't actually know her real age at all.

"E-everyone else my age can read," she noted with a crinkle of her nose, her eye now averted from the librarian. "Th-they all probably think I'm stupid..."

She was starting to think she was stupid too.

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

The little bug alien looked up. Thankfully she didn’t scream when she saw Kass. Instead, she stammered out a response between sniffles.

“Which book is it you’re having trouble with?” Kass asked, touching the tome nearest to her. She thought this was a case of a student who had waited until the night before a big test to study and now was panicking because she didn’t understand the subject. That was something which could be resolved (sort of—she’d still probably get a less than stellar grade) with a little last minute tutoring. But as the girl continued to speak, Kass let go of the book, realizing her mistake.

The girl didn’t know how to read. How did that happen? Perhaps it wasn’t her first language. But she seemed to speak Basic perfectly, as well as any native. Had she not learned it in school? Whatever the circumstances which had led to her illiteracy, she supposed it didn’t matter.

“You are not stupid,” Kass said firmly, even a little sternly. “Plenty of people learn how to read Basic at your age. Some are even older than you. It’s just like learning any other language.” At least, she hoped that was the case here. She gestured to the books on the table. “Most of these are a little too advanced for a beginner. You should start with the basics, then work your way up to these. We have some books that are easier. Wait here, and I’ll go get them.”

She slithered away, returning a few minutes later carrying a small stack of children’s readers. “Are you enrolled in any Basic classes, or do you have a tutor to help you…?” she asked, trailing off. In her eagerness to help, she hadn't even bothered to introduce herself. "I'm Master Kassogtha Cthylla, by the way."

Loomi​

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

Loomi was a bit surprised by how stern the woman became about... her not being stupid? She almost seemed upset on the Godoan's behalf. It was strange, but not upsetting. In fact the things that the master was saying actually had some level of reassurance to them. If older people learned how to read, then she should be able to as well.

Right?

"N-not yet, I don't think," she answered, "I haven't been here very long, and I haven't really gone to a lot of classes. I keep having appointments with the Halls of Healing and councilors about... health stuff. B-but I've been having more time, so I need to take a Basic class..."

She frowned, red with embarrassment. Loomi didn't like talking much about the things she was dealing with. Between her scattered memory, revelations about her past, her scarred body and poorly constructed prosthetics, and now a change to her physical form, it was very clear why she had spent so much time seeing healers and such.

The Godoan didn't feel good about it though.

"I'm Master Kassogtha Cthylla, by the way."

Oh yeah, she hadn't given her name.

"Loomi," she introduced. "It's... nice to meet you."

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

“Nice to meet you too, dear,” Kass said with several smiles.

The girl hadn’t been here long, and admitted as much. Kass couldn’t profess to having ever seen her before in the library or the Temple in general. Loomi mentioned constant medical appointments causing her to be absent from class, but avoided discussing the reason for these visits. Kass didn’t try to coax it out of her. No, she was here to help with her reading.

She swept the other books off the table and replaced them with the children’s readers, but could already sense that Loomi was still at a loss of how to proceed. “I can help you get started,” Kass offered, her pseudopods whirling about as she loaded the other books onto a cart to be sorted and shelved later. “I’m not an official tutor, mind you, and we would only meet for about an hour or so per day, as I have other duties I must attend to. But I know I can do it.” And even if she couldn’t, she knew Oukranos could help her. He taught younglings how to read and write in addition to training them in the ways of the Jedi. “Would you like that, Loomi?”

Loomi​

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

"I'd like that," Loomi nodded, finally smiling. "Thank you."

Anyone helping her was an edge she'd take. She used to feel so awful about taking advantage of the help of others, but the more people insisted the more she found it felt terrible to say no. Loomi really did need the help, and denying it only kept her in a state of distress and confusion.

"Sorry about the trouble," she apologized. "I didn't mean to distract you from anything if you were busy..."

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Loomi readily accepted the offer. Kass’ gelatinous body bobbed up and down in an expression of happiness or excitement (or both). “Excellent. Would three o’clock work for you?”

The girl apologized for taking up her time, which Kass found rather amusing. “You caught me at a good time, actually. Things are starting to wind down now, and the library isn’t as busy.” She cast a glimpse toward the small meeting room, where the younglings were engaged in arts and crafts under the supervision of Master Rue and a pair of volunteers. “In fact, why don’t we start your lessons now?”

She picked up one of the readers and placed it in front of Loomi, opened to the first page. “How much of this do you know, or does none of it look familiar?” she asked.

Loomi​

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

“How much of this do you know, or does none of it look familiar?”

"I-I know a few," Loomi noted, scanning the page. "Cat... and Hat..."

She frowned, narrowing in on a word.

"Talk confused me," she noted. "The Aurek didn't sound like the one in Cat or Hat at all. I-it all feels arbitrary."

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Loomi recognized a few basic words. This gave Kass a better idea of where to start.

"Talk confused me. The Aurek didn't sound like the one in Cat or Hat at all. I-it all feels arbitrary."

"That's because it is," Kass admitted with a chuckle. "Galactic Basic is notorious for its arbitrary rules and exceptions, so get used to it. In some cases, you'll just have to memorize the unique spelling and pronunciation of certain words. Since you already speak Basic, it may come a little easier to you." She tapped to the illustration accompanying the text. "The pictures will help."

From there she helped the girl through the book. She let Loomi read it out loud by herself, setting her own pace, and only stepped in when she began to struggle. Eventually they reached the end of The Cat in the Hat. Kass closed the book with a flourish of her pseudopod. "Congratulations, Loomi," she said. "You finished reading a book."

Loomi​

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

"Y-yeah!" Loomi nodded, puffing out her chest with a little bit of pride. "I did read it."

It was a step in the right direction. Doing something small meant that she could begin to work up to harder things. She'd be reading big words in no time... hopefully, anyways. The girl gave Kassogtha a smile, trying her best to direct her face towards one of the Master's eyes in particular. It was still a little disorienting.

"Thank you," she added. "I... appreciate it a lot."

Loomi sighed, hanging her head a little. The truth of the matter was that she could have learned this from anyone. What kept her from doing so? Fear. That was really the only answer. She was afraid of harsh judgement, or worse. Bad experiences had wormed their way into the back of her mind, influencing the way that she behaved around people. Reserved and nervous was really the only way that she could interact, mentally preparing for the worst. Maybe Master Cthylla was different in that regard. After all...

The people who had hurt her looked human.

"Master Cthylla... can I tell you something?"

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

“You’re welcome,” Kass said. “I’m happy to help.”

"Master Cthylla... can I tell you something?"

“Ah, you mean in confidence?” Kass looked around to see if anyone else was in earshot, one eye idly glancing toward the clock. She was due to start closing soon, but a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt. “Certainly. Speak freely, and whatever you say won’t leave this room.”

Loomi

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

"I'm... scared to start taking classes," Loomi admitted.

She was starting to like the comfortable spot she was in, and throwing herself into classes, having to interact with new people... All if that was a question mark.

"E-everyone has been really kind to me since I arrived," she noted, "But... they also look just like the people who... who didn't treat me very well. I'm worried about meeting someone like that..."

Someone who saw her as below them. Alien. It wouldn't take much more than a random act of malice or ill will to completely topple all of the progress she had made, Loomi reasoned. After meeting so many kind people, having an encounter just like the nightmares from her childhood might crush her. It was hard to trust when the Godoan subconsciously knew what it was that people were capable of. Her knees would still be organic if she had only ever known good people.

"I don't like being scared."

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Kass listened, as promised. It seemed Loomi’s present predicament was more unfortunate than she thought. The Jedi Master’s heart ached for the girl, whose body bore scars that told a sadder story than mere words ever could.

“When you say that they look like the people who hurt you, do you mean that they look Human?” she asked for clarification. It wasn’t hard to figure out—Humans and Near-Humans made up the majority of the NJO’s population, and indeed the demographics of the entire galaxy were biased in their favor, whereas the likes of Loomi and Kass were a minority save on their homeworlds. No doubt the girl’s feelings on the matter were complicated. Kass certainly was no stranger to prejudice, nor would she treat Loomi’s problems as though they had simple solutions.

“If someone is unkind to you, you can come to me or one of the other masters for help,” Kass said, then asked, “Have you made any friends here yet?”

Loomi​

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

"...Yeah," Loomi nodded.

Loomi didn't like narrowing things down to that degree. Bad people could look like anything after all. Even so, it seemed that being different enough made it easier to be on the receiving end of something terrible. Maybe one could convince themselves it was okay to hold someone against their will if they didn't look the same.

Her mood did raise at the assurance that she could come to her if she ever had any issues. It made Loomi feel just a little safer.

“Have you made any friends here yet?”

Friends? Yeah, she had those.

"Mhmm," Loomi hummed with a nod, "I have a lot of friends... W-well, I guess it's a lot to me." Four or five was a lot more than none. "They're really nice."

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

Loomi confirmed Kass’ suspicions, though she was self-aware enough to realize how it might sound. She also had, in her own words, a lot of friends—most of whom were presumably Human. No, there was no budding bigotry in the girl that the librarian might worry about.

“Your friends can help you as well,” Kass said. “If you have enemies, they will be your allies. But it’s still best to come to one of us first.”

A familiar presence graced her perception. A few of her eyes glanced toward the entrance, where Oukranos was leaning against the door frame, watching and listening. Sometimes, when he finished his work early, he would come to see her around closing. It was another reminder that she was running short on time, though she was reluctant to break off her meeting with Loomi just yet.

“You have nothing to fear, Loomi. Whatever is in your past can’t touch you now that you’re safely within these walls.” She gave the girl an array of smiles. “Now, is there anything else you needed today? Or shall we see each other again tomorrow?”

Loomi​

 

[Loomi]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kassogtha Cthylla

“Now, is there anything else you needed today? Or shall we see each other again tomorrow?”

"I... think I'm okay," Loomi nodded, a smile coming to her face.

She was tired and the day was getting late. She'd need to sleep eventually. Loomi was really starting to like sleeping now that she could do it regularly, and even her bad dreams seemed to be decreasing in frequency after her wings had finally grown in. Her changing body had caused her a lot more stress than she had realized. It seemed dumb in hind sight. After all, everything had started after visiting Ord Providence, where she needed to be for the changes to begin.

"I'll see you tomorrow Master Cthylla," she added, her tone bubbly.

Loomi very much was excited to see the master tomorrow.

 

[Kassogtha Cthylla]

"Until then." Kass waved a pseudopod goodbye, watching as Loomi left the library. She seemed like a sweetheart; it was a shame she had such low confidence. Hopefully she would be able to grow out of it in time.

Oukranos glanced at the girl as she passed him, before walking over to Kass. "I see you met Loomi," he remarked.

"Yes," she replied, picking up trash and stray books as she began to clean up. "I've sort of fallen into the position of tutoring her. She never learned how to read."

"Did she cry?"

Kass paused and looked at him. "She was crying when I came over, yes."

Oukranos nodded grimly. "She does that a lot, in response to frustration or stress. Makes her seem younger than she is."

"Poor thing." She pushed a cart against the wall, then began rapidly sorting the books on it. "I take it you know her?"

"She's in a few of my classes, since she's new and needs the foundation." He wrapped an arm around her middle before adding, "The best thing for her would be to spend more time around people her own age, so the sooner she advances, the better. I'm sure she appreciates the help."

Kass leaned into his embrace with a contented sigh. "Speaking of which, I'd appreciate some help closing up shop here." She fished the keys to the library out of her pocket. "What do you say? Two can get the work done faster than one..."

"You don't have to ask me twice." He took the keys from her and went to lock the doors for the night.

fin Loomi​