Private Questionable Ethics

[Xian Xiao]

The seventeen-year-old former Padawan had broken away from everything and returned to a life she was familiar with. Living close to the streets, Xian probably looked homeless. This wasn't the truth though. One of the first things she had done after moving to Castell was getting a job.

It wasn't great but it provided enough for her to rent a rundown apartment for one and put food on her table. Getting off work, the teen stopped to pick up some dinner on the way home. Opening the door, she practically stumbled into her single-room place.

Setting her dinner on the table, she stripped off her dirty clothes and took a shower. Letting the water wash her day away, the girl started feeling a little more human. She turned it off, hopped out, and wrapped a towel around herself after drying off. Getting her food starting to cook, once she got it simmering, she hung her towel up and got dressed for the night. Pulling a bowl out for herself, she served it up and started eating. Once she finished, she let out a sigh and closed her eyes.

Feeling very alone, unloved, unwanted, and entirely to blame for what happened in her life, she fell asleep. The next thing she knew was that there was somebody knocking on her door. This brought her out of her sleep and practically caused her to fall out of her chair. Catching herself before that happened, she stood up grumbling under her breath about having already made her rent payment for the month. Not bothering to check who or what was waiting for her on the other side, she opened the door.

Realizing it was a Sith a moment after opening it, she quickly brought her hand up to shoot a fireball at him. In almost that same moment, she recalled that fateful day on Saleucami. Xian knew this man. If he can be called one yet. Luckily, for him, she had learned more control over fire and the ball disappeared before it might have reached him.

"What are you doing here?"

Her door was already open and she stepped back in surprise. At one time, they had been enemies that had been forced to work together. Now she wasn't so sure.

"How did you find me and what do you want?"

If he wanted to enter, this would be the perfect opportunity for that.

Rax Tremira Alina Tremiru

 

[Rax Tremira]

Rax had told Alina all there was to tell, describing the powers that Xiao demonstrated that day, and how she had held her own against a lightsaber wielding opponent, although she had none herself. To be fair, there was a huge sand cat that had intervened, but that was besides the point. Rax couldn't tell whether Alina wanted him to do this to rectify his prior weakness, or she was honestly curious why he had become so sentimental while discussing it. He was an idiot for that in retrospect. Saving her life just to turn her over to Alina. Then again, that was what he thought at first, when he saw how she was living, he would feel a lot less bad. Even the hallway in the building was disgusting. He stepped through, locking eyes with someone walking past and quite literally staring at them until they looked away, his head turned, still staring at the other who hurriedly increased their pace. Once they were gone, he knocked on her door. Breathing in deeply, and sighing out.

And it opened... And he was stunned. Yet again, to be fair when he was younger he just thought she was vaguely cute, but here it was he was so focused on her, that he didn't even react to the fireball. As if she would hit him with that immediately. After how their last encounter had ended, she owed him enough to at least hear what he had to say. He seemed angry she rose it at him though, at least in his facial features; tensing, but relaxing his face when she dispersed the fireball. She had gotten better at that trick... No shocker there. She didn't receive an answer to her question though. He stepped into her room immediately raising his hand and shutting the door behind him, and was greeted by her relatively clean apartment, (compared to literally every other square inch of the building). He looked around, walking and poking his finger at things.

He looked different of course, bigger, taller, stronger... Most notably, he was well groomed, and smelled nice. Compared to when she met him, and he looked borderline feral. His Dark Side tainted yellow hues gazing around the room with curiosity. He listened to everything she said in full, finger lightly sliding the bowl she was just eating from a few inches out of place, but overall not breaking anything. Not disturbing anything too much.

"Ask yourself that..." he scoffed, glaring at her briefly... " I did what I did because I didn't want to see your life wasted, with such potential, and beau-..." nope, he said to himself immediately. He closed his eyes, canting his head to the left until his neck cracked a little. He then shook his head a bit, thick ponytail shaking behind him. Releasing a sigh, he turned to her, and leaned back against a piece of furniture in her room. "We found one of your old Jedi friends, they were very forthcoming with your information, unfortunately... And here I am." his mouth went slightly ajar, as he wagged a finger at her. "I'm getting the strong impression you're not happy to see me." he said, moping a bit, though he wasn't really offended. Simply trying to illicit different reactions from her.

As far as why he was here, well there was no easy way to say it; and it was better for him to know sooner than later if he was going to have to put his hands on her. After-all, his kind wasn't exactly supposed to be walking around so boldly "I'm here for you... I want you to meet someone, a powerful friend of mine. They're very interested in meeting you. Will you come?" he asked, smiling in her direction. Depending on the answer to that question, the situation would get different. Fast.

 

[Xian Xiao]

Like two deer caught in the beams of a headlight, the two of them stared at each other for a few moments before he moved past her and into her apartment. The door was taken out of her hand with the Force and slammed shut behind them. Watching him closely as he looked around her rather drab room, Xian was not embarrassed by what he saw. It might not be anything grand but it was her home and she treated it with respect. Probably more than any tenant had before.

After a few tense and silent seconds, he spoke and then glared at her. Then he finally started answering her. Allowing him to speak his mind, she did react to some of what he said.

"Were you going to call me beautiful?"

While he had been talking, he had stretched a little as if preparing to fight her again. Maybe he had sought her out to finish what had been started that day so long ago. Another lifetime ago, for her, at least. A life she had given up.

She couldn't help but notice the changes with him and after blurting out her own question, she very likely blushed in front of him. Lifting a hand to point at his neck, there was an almost unspoken question in her eyes.

"Is that what I gave you?"

This was whispered and when he mentioned Jedi friends, she just scoffed. Crossing her arms over her chest, she shook her head.

"I have no friends there."

He made it sound like finding her was a bad thing and she shook her head again. Motioning to the small portion of food that was left, she resumed her seat at her table and invited him to join her.

Taking him not attacking her right away as a good sign, Xian made no further hostile moves on him. She did stay on her guard though. When he smiled at her, it caused her heart to flutter just a bit. That really changed how he appeared and it was something she liked.

"What made you decide to find me after four years, Rax? I'm not opposed to going with you. Let's talk first and I'd rather you not tower over me like you are."

Typical Sith wanting to assert power and at the moment, she was letting him.

Rax Tremira Alina Tremiru

 

[Rax Tremira]

He would let her finish everything she was going to say, only pacing as she spoke and taking stock of her. She was a grown woman now, and yet she was so short. It was cute, and caused him to smirk on her words. As she asked about the burn marks on his neck, he turned his head to her, offering a solemn nod. He didn't seem too perturbed by it though, grinning as she seemed so angsty over the damage she had done. She didn't have too, she had made him stronger back then, every word, and scar, and threat. She was just as much responsible for the man he had become as anyone else was. As he listened, his eyes perked up in her direction as she noted she had no friends in the Jedi Order.

He. Liked. That...

When she mentioned he was towering over her, he pouted lightly, nodding. That wasn't his intention at all. He wanted this to be smooth, and if she was agreeable, he no reason to intimidate her; his head shook a bit as his body demeanor itself softened, as if he was trying to find a standing position that wouldn't come off that way. Instead, he would just sit, scowling lightly.

"I'm not trying t-.. I'm..." he took a second, closing his eyes again and doing what he was accustomed to doing, thinking before he spoke. "Firstly, its not my fault you're so short Xian, so don't blame me for that.." he smirked, leaning forward, and peering at the other, his fingers again playing with what was left of that food, though it was cold now he could still smell it, feeling tempted to take a bite, but didn't want to be rude. He was honestly just feeling a little... Was it shy? Yeah, even when he was younger, she treated him with such tenderness, and those memories did not easily fade, or lose their potency.

His eyes trailed from the food, locking on her, eyelids becoming somewhat hooded as he breathed in. "If I said I was going to call you beautiful would it change anything?" The question came, for a moment, his eyes didn't seem yellow, or not fully so, beneath that taint of darkness, a set of baby blues flashed at Xian, just sitting with her bred conflict within him. Even after four years, her innocence was stunning. It was dangerous... He breathed in deeply, centering himself within that perpetual darkness, and he maintained some basic sense of passion. He didn't want to turn his hand on her, though there was no concise reasoning as to why.

"I told you, someone wants to meet you... A wise, powerful woman... A Que-.. Well, a noble... She'll be a Queen one day though." he said, honestly giving Xiao a two pronged comment, on one hand, he had honestly told her a reason why he was here, but didn't elect to tell her why it was the person would want to meet her, and he wouldn't. He still felt as though he'd betrayed her with his complacency. Especially considering what Alina would likely do to her once they met.

In any case, she had promised Xiao wouldn't die, so long as she joined them. Alina Tremiru had no idea how much he was riding on that promise. He didn't want to see her life wasted on the ground. He shuddered a bit, looking away from her as if something had embarrassed him.

"I had no friends either, you remember... Maybe. I have a family now though Xiao... Brothers, and Sisters... People who care for me, people who wouldn't betray me... Don't you want to feel that again? You would love Tara Willows . I know it" he said that with a smirk, sliding that bowl of food out of the way again, clearly something he was using to redirect his anxious energy.

"I missed you... I've thought of you every other day since then... No matter where I was, who I was with... What I was doing, you've haunted me... And now I want you to come with me. Forget the Jedi, they never loved you, and... And betrayed you to save their own skin, that isn't how you love people. THAT ISN'T..." he calmed himself, rolling his shoulders as he exhaled. "That isn't true love... When you love someone you are their armor.. Their shield, and sword." He said, falling silent then so she could think on his words.

Alina Tremiru Xian Xiao

 

[Xian Xiao]

Being older than when they had met originally had brought a great deal of change within Xian. While she was still a teenager, she had grown up quite a lot. Now she knew what it was like to hurt another person, she didn't like doing that much. Some pain was needed and she also understood this.

"It gave you something to remind you of me daily."

That went hand in hand with his comments about thinking of her every day. She didn't doubt him at all but wondered why he had taken so long to search for her. Chuckling a little when mentioned her lack of height, she shook her head and was happier when he sat down across from her.

"Genetics are to blame for that. Not eating well growing up might also have something to do with it. Nobody is to blame though and certainly not you, Rax."

Noticing he was eyeing the dinner she had made, she shyly smiled and used the Force to quickly reheat it for him. Using a gust of air, she pushed the bowl over to him.

"Almost like our days on Saleucami."

After their very tense first day together, the two young teens had learned to almost like each other. Even though they both totally agreed they were enemies. Both of their respective Orders had told them that and that was what they believed. However, they did have to work together then and she remembered their days and nights together. He had been correct and those desert nights had gotten cold. Neither one of them had been totally prepared and they had to rely on each other to survive.

Looking at him and meeting his gaze when he asked his first question, she drew in a breath when she saw the change in his eyes. Would it change anything? Her eyes fell to the bowl she had given and he might notice some real thoughts passing through her mind. Bringing them back up to meet his blue ones, she nodded just slightly.

"It might. What's her name?"

Crossing her arms and laying them on the table, she leaned forward on them and got just a little bit closer to Rax. Mulling about what he said, she was silent while he decided if he was going to eat the food she had given him. Sitting across from her was a man that had been in her position before. Somebody that had nobody and he was offering her a chance to be a part of a family.

Freezing up for a moment, she took a quick breath before speaking the first thing that came into her brain.

"What is in it for you? They never truly betrayed me. Just never really cared. Only one woman did and I have lost contact with her. Same as we did but ours was expected. I've never had a family!"

This wasn't true but she didn't actually remember her parents at all. Xian only knew this was where she had been born and so she returned in the hopes to find a new life here. Realizing she had almost yelled at him, she toon her arms off the table and wrapped them around herself.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to yell at you. It's not your fault."

Feeling very vulnerable right now, she was quiet as she considered what he said about love.

"I have no idea what love is. I've never felt it nor has it been expressed to me. What is love? I mean I know what it's supposed to be, at least on paper, and that as a Jedi, I should feel it. But I don't. Do you? Can you tell me more?"

Falling silent, she totally blushed but her words had already been said. There was no taking them back. Lifting one of her hands, as if to stop him, she mumbled a bit before falling silent again.

Rax Tremira

 

[Rax Tremira]

He had been silent for a while, listening to what the other had to say, noting she used her gifts to heat up the food, he regarded her for a moment. Then smiled, picking up the utensil she had been using to eat and taking a few bites of the food himself. It was good, as he expected it would be. Though still surprising as it didn't seem as though she had a whole lot of ingredients on hand. He could eat this all day... Wait, she was going to come with him right? He could actually eat this all day... He wolfed it down somewhat, still listening when she said Saleucami. He smirked at that, but didn't look up from the food, because he knew he had blushed at that. Man he wished he had done things so differently back then. He wished he wasn't such a jerk to her at times but... He couldn't change any of that stuff now.

He continued to listen, and piped in the name quickly " Alina... " he said, taking another bite of food and feeling suddenly very... Homely. For the briefest of seconds, he could've stayed there with her. Though, it was brief. Not to mention Alina would show up eventually, full of righteous anger due to such betrayal. He didn't doubt it. He had a better chance asking for her to release him from her service than trying to run off on her. He pushed that daydream FAR away. And then, she pinned the tail on the Donkey.

Yes Rax, tell her what's in it for you. Tell her in your stupor you had given her up to a Sith Knight, and that was the real reason why after four years you were here at her home to push her into some chaotic, borderline psychotic lifestyle. His lip curled up at the question, his chewing slowed as if he seemed suddenly sick. He slid the bowl away from him a bit, and suddenly stood up; moving past her, and into the kitchen. He would flip through some cabinets, finding what he was looking for, being a cup. With that, he poured himself some water, and downed the full cup in just four gulps. Exhaling as he refilled it, and moved back to sit across from her.

He didn't answer. He couldn't answer. Already, the truth of the situation tore at him. Tore at his heartstrings. The truth was, the Sith valued strength, and the war was never ending.

He should leave... If he cared about her, in the slightest. He should've gotten up, turned and walked out of her apartment. He should've gone home and told Alina he couldn't find her, or she had died... Or even that he killed her after she denied them. Anything... In that moment, he folded his arms across his chest, staring at the table. They both had things on their mind. Xiao was pure though, she was likely thinking about... The nature of love, or.. Something cheesy like that. And he was just... Guilty.

No... No.. It wasn't so clear cut. And he meant what he said. He loved Xiao, and with Alina now teaching him in the ways of the Force, he could protect her too. Once Ali-... Once Alina trained Xiao, she would be able to protect herself too. More importantly, he wanted this. So badly. Had he ever asked for anything in his life? Anything really substantial? The most he could think of was Alina treating him to a buffet a long time ago... And even then, he remembered not even asking for it. She just offered. Well he wanted this...

After the life he had endured, he was so sorry but he had to have her. Even if not in 'that' way. He wanted her... Even though he knew that eventually she wouldn't be the same bubbly, innocent person that sat there now, he wanted her. It was so selfish of him, and as he stared at her, a single tear rolled from his eye as he seemed to bare his teeth in a grimace.

He zoned out as she was apologizing, closing his eyes, only tuning back in to her asking if he could tell her more about love. And just then, he was glaring at her, left hand moving across his body, and grabbing the end of the table; and sending it clear across the room into the wall with a thud. The sound of the bowl, and anything else on the table was heard shifting, and or falling as he stood, and approaching her in one action. He pulled Xiao from her seat almost effortlessly, and unless she resisted him, would kiss her. Had it not been for recent events, he might not have even done this, but... Life was such a precariously complicated thing. And he was beginning to believe there was no such thing as coincidence. He was hunched down due their height differential, and would pick her up with ease, carrying her, and sitting her on the table he had just moved, kissing her yet again. After a few moments, he pulled away.

The dried tear made a single trail down his face, and he stared into her eyes longingly. And in that moment, maybe for that last moment... She saw him, just a regular boy with blue eyes. Rax couldn't describe love to Xiao, he didn't know how to beyond the cheesy stuff they said in holovids, or what poets wrote in their books. In any case, she could see it there.

"I can't tell you... I don't know. I think this is how it feels though. It feels like..." he grabbed her hand, placing it over his chest, and pressing it there. "Your heart wont stop beating out of your chest no matter how much you want it to stop... It feels like wanting to do anything to make sure that person is okay. Though, I wouldn't know, cause like I said I've never felt it... I'm a Sith Xian Xiao... I kill for power, and glory." he admitted, shaking with excitement. "I have to tell you that if you leave here with me today, its the life you'll be walking into" he said.

Inadvertently, he had just betrayed Alina, but... That was for a different time. "I don't know if this is love, but I know... If you leave with me today" he silently cried again, now both eyes leaking as his lip quivered. "I will give you this feeling whenever I can. I know that I will... Butcher anyone that harms you. That's what I can tell you. No... I don't know love, only what I feel." he said, her hand able to still feel his rapidly thudding heart, though he would let go her hand, realizing he might've been squeezing too hard. With that, he backed up, baby blue hues peering at her for just a moment longer.

His hands moved to dry his eyes, inhaling deeply, and exhaling. This was embarrassing. If any Sith saw him like this it'd be disgusting. He turned for a while, seething. Not at her... Something not here, something old.. Whatever he needed too. Too much emotion at once, like a flood. He couldn't look at her again. Instead, he glanced over his shoulder, thick ponytail moving with the effort.

"I have told you too much already... I need an answer" he said, clearing his throat and almost growling the last sentence at her.

 

[Xian Xiao]

Happy that he accepted the small amount of food she had left, he quiet as she spoke. Between one mouthful and the next, Rax provided her with the name of the woman he would be taking her to...if she left with him. When she asked one single question, she sensed a great change in him. Even if Xian could have, she would not have taken it back. Unlike some of the other things, she had done and said to him in the past.

She could tell something upset him as he got up from the table and got himself some water. Whatever he was thinking was lost to the former Jedi and she was not exactly a good empath. Almost cursing to herself, Xian watched him as he moved about her kitchen.

As he returned to the table, she could tell he was having some difficulty answering her. Xian didn't feel like he was ignoring her and that became totally clear when he glared at her. He was fast, faster than she had any time to react to. Not that she wanted to by the time he had completed what he was doing.

Resistance was futile against him and if she was honest with herself, then she would actually admit this was the kind of acceptance she craved. To be wanted for who and what she was and he was doing just that. Opening himself to her and showing her rather than telling her, even if he claimed to not know what love was. He did a really good job of doing his best.

He picked up one of her hands, she had the other wrapped around him and didn't even know how it got there. This must have been a natural reaction to being carried off and embraced in the deep kiss he had given her. Looking between his blue eyes and where he had placed her hand, she considered his words. After releasing her hand, she kept it there a moment longer and raised it to slap him across his cheek. Unless he pulled away, there would be the satisfying and resounding sound of her palm meeting his flesh.

Rax did eventually pull away from her but not before she noticed him crying. Then he said he had told her too much and demanded an answer from her. Breathing in through her nose, Xian didn't say anything, only acted. He wanted an answer and she would give him one. Moving to place a hand on his shoulder, she would put her other out slowly to finish wiping away what tears he had left...unless he avoided her totally. Standing up on the tips of her toes, she would try and return his kiss with one of her own.

"Take me with you. We will learn together."

Placing her head on his chest, if he was still there, she closed her eyes with a sigh. Knowing her life was going to change, they would be together and it was what she wanted.

Rax Tremira

 

[Rax Tremira]

The slap had caught him off guard, but he wouldn't pull away from it. Even though he could've easily dodged it, he felt as though it was something she wanted in that instant. To inflict pain on him. He allowed it, he welcomed that pain, that quite literally helped him focus on the very same negative emotions he was trying to channel. He would do everything the same, though as she turned him, and wiped at his tears, he felt so soft again. So malleable for this woman. And then when she spoke again.... He just sort of stared back at her like an idiot, his right hand moving up to caress the back of her head which was pressed against his chest.

What did he say!? She'd agreed... He sort of expected a tussle, or a struggle. To actually have to kidnap her, but... Well, this was certainly unexpected. And yet it was as if he would look a gift horse in the mouth. He just took it as it was, silently clutching onto her.

"Yes..." he compiled the thousands of words he wanted to say. He was happy, but he was also determined. As she had agreed, there were things that needed to happen. Time was always of the essence.

"Well, gather your things I suppose... Let me know what I can help with... I'll ask Alina Tremiru if you can stay at her estate. And I need to go call Ms. Willows to give us a ride Castell. Meet me at the Central Hangar in an hour?" he asked, lightly pulling away from her, and rubbing a thumb along her cheek, depressing it slightly so as her face just lightly contorted. He smiled then at her, and nodded. Unless she stopped him, he would go do what he said he would.

~~~

He thought of using a secure line to contact Alina, but heckin why? He would be there soon enough. Instead he'd send his sister a holovid. It started with his back turned (in relation to when Tara would see it). He awkwardly, asked aloud "Oh h-.. Wrong way?" he said, turning and upnodding the camera. "Sis, its me... I need a ride from Castell, I have one passenger. Any chance you can get here within the hour? No rush mind you. I know you're a busy woman, but I'll owe you one..." he said, awkwardly glancing about and eventually pressing at something to end the message.

With that, he went out and found a nearby gift-shop. His hood was up, as to draw less attention, quickly two of the same thing. For Xiao, he bought two regular jars of Happy Pills Chocolates. The vendor being intent on him telling everyone where he got it, as the product hadn't officially hit the market yet. He waved him off, and would move to the main hanger, wondering who would get their first. All the while lightly tapping the two jars together.

As an older man, he did note things about himself then. He was trying to build a family for himself... He had arguably a woman to look up to as a Mother, as well as someone he literally considered a sister (all suspicion of Tara having been alleviated, though he wasn't sure if she felt the same). And now Xiao... Well, that family link was a little different. One day, he was going to marry her. Or at least ask... She would probably slap him again.

He was missing a Brother, and a Father. Not like he'd carelessly try to fill these roles, but he was tired of wallowing in pity over the dead, when he could rejoice with the living.

Alina Tremiru Tara Willows Xian Xiao

 

[Tara Willows]

"Alright. But you owe me."

Tara Willows was indeed a busy person. She had a lot of practicing to do. After training with her master and trying out her lightsaber pike, Tara simply had to get her own. Building the saber pike was simple enough; using it was another story. So when she got the call from her apprentice-brother Rax, she set the pike aside and would answer the holovid.

In just shy of a full hour, Tara's Omnicron-Class 0-1 Imperial Shuttle The Starlight came out of hyperspace in the system Castell. She radio'd Rax and told her she was there, then began to descend to the central hangar. Folding the wings of her shuttle, she then landed gently in the hangar and opened the door for her Sith friends.

"Greetings boys and girls. Someone call for a lift?"

END THREAD​