Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Name: Qor
Designation: Sentient
Homeworld: Kamino
Language: Qorian, Basic. (Telepathically towards each others Fi)
Average height of adults: 1.6 Meters
Skin color: Pale, Fair and Light Blue
Hair color: Black, Red, Gold, Blue(Each signifying birth rank)
Breathes: Tier I and Underwater
Strengths:
- They have a stronger force connection the closer the Fi's are to eachother.
- Can communicate with their "Fi" telepathically.
- Can last in space 6 hours without equipment before starting to lose life force.
Weaknesses:
- Cannot be seperated from their "Fi" too long or else they will die.
- If one "Fi" dies so does their other.
- Easily susceptible to decompression sickness.
- Meat acts as a poison towards them and shuts down their immune system.
Distinctions: They look almost exactly like a human despite having small plates in their arm bones to protect from predators.
Average Lifespan: 200
Races:
-Duun: The first highest of the race birthright latter and have the second lowest birth rate. They are distinct by their golden hair. These are the aristocrats of the world of Qor.

-Gan: The main race of Qor who are distinct by their black hair color. These people are the second highest birthright of the race and highest birth rate. These are a mostly warrior race.

-Han: The second lowest in the birthright chain on Qor and are told apart from their deep sapphire hair. They are often viewed as merchants and swindlers.

-Ran: With the lowest birth rate and birth right capabilities they are told by their bright ember hair. They are often the slaves and physical workers who are rarest among other Qor people.

Estimated Population: 731,000(Approx)
Diet: They often eat seafloor vegetation due to their planets lack of animal life. Their bodies are unable to digest meat at all and will kill them if they were to consume it.
Communication: Vocal communication. Telepathically to their Fi.
Culture: A mostly oriental culture is built in their underwater world. They sepirate their races based upon the color of their hair. This race is build off of a base of two, meaning that each person has a second person linked to them through an unknown mythical area. The name of these twins are "Fi". The Duun often rule over and are usually the ones who will be seen outside of their planet spare a few Han and Gan who will spare their expertise for exchange in currency. The Ran are almost never seen outside of their planet and are heavily discriminated against on their home world. It is in their culture that they will train with staff like weapons as well as pikes, spears and glaives. It is considered a great offense if one were to paint their skin(Tattoos) and will be forced to have the area of their skin torn off(Not cut). They usually keep to themselves and try to blend in with other humanoid races to protect their "Bloodline".
Technology level: Basic space age technology and incredible subnautical technology.
General behavior: The only behavioral identification that differs from a human is their over protection of their Fi. One of the Fi tends to be more dominant than the other but that may vary per pair.
History: Within the last few millennium they have been ruled over by a tyranny that spread their race thin to a point that their home planet is forgotten to most of the race save a few. The Sen family rules over almost the entire planet now and forcebly employs people to do their bidding though only slaving the Ran for permanent and unpaid servitude.

On the eastern side of the planet is the only area not run by the Sen family but rather a rebel family of Shui. They have been holding ground there against the rest of the planet for 50 years Qor time and have made several progresses to liberate several Qorian slaves and forced warriors. Only recently in the last 9 years been connected to the rest of the galaxies through an un-named slave merchant who takes in exotic slaves.

Unfortunetely enough the eastern side of the planet is full of corruption and still captures the liberated slaves to send off to other worlds for export in gain in their new galactic credit as a main source of currency. They do not care about their people other than their Fi which sent the Eastern into a losing spiral against the Sen family.
Notable Player-Characters: @Xin and Xo Daiasa
Intent: The intent of this race is to be a base for a race of twins who would gain their powers and strength from one another. Their ability to breathe under water without any equipment(which is still cruel due to pressure difference and lack of tethering) but almost entirely possible given that the waters of the planet is not poisonous to them and they can survive the pressure of the water.. It is also the base of my characters that I plan on building and hopefully others will enjoy the idea.
 
[member="Xin and Xo Daiasa"]

Looks like you got me on this one. Welcome to Codex! Apologies for the wait before this submission got picked up. You may notice I have a fair amount of comments here, but they are for the most part minor and ought to be quick fixes. I am sure we will get this approved soon. Thank you for your cooperation and patience.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
- Can last in space 6 hours without equipment before starting to lose life force.
Could you clarify what you mean here? Do you mean to say that if a Qor was floated into space without any equipment, they'd manage fine for 6 hours? This would require a very good explanation to be acceptable, something not currently found within this submission.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Weaknesses: - Cannot be seperated from their "Fi" too long or else they will die.
Please be more specific here. How far apart would they have to be for them to be considered "separated"? How much time is "too long"? Further, I notice all of the weaknesses are written in bold. This needs only be the case for the category, so please adjust this.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Distinctions: They look almost exactly like a human despite having small plates in their arm bones to protect from predators.
Please be more specific here. These plates are not mentioned under strengths or anywhere else in the submission. What level of protection do they offer? Are they visible at all? Any other properties of note?



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
-Duun: The first highest of the race birthright latter and have the second lowest birth rate.
I believe you meant to write "ladder".



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Culture: A mostly oriental culture is built in their underwater world.
What do you mean with the term "oriental culture" here? It seems to make little sense in a Kamino context, or even SW context in general.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
They usually keep to themselves and try to blend in with other humanoid races to protect their "Bloodline".
This seems contradictory. They keep to themselves but try to blend in? How does blending in help protect their bloodline? Did you mean they keep to themselves and avoid blending in with other humanoid races?



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
Estimated Population: 731,000(Approx)
This population seems really low. Is there a reason for this? Kamino is a fairly large planet, and the Kaminoan population is estimated to be 1 billion. For comparison, the Qor's population is roughly the size of Guyana, the third-smallest country on mainland South America.



Xin and Xo Daiasa said:
They have been holding ground there against the rest of the planet for 50 years Qor time
What do you mean with "50 years Qor time"? Do they have a different way of measuring time, and if so why? How does this translate to standard time?

Thanks
 
[member="Xin and Xo Daiasa"]

This submission is being put up for archival due to inactivity. When you're ready to have this reviewed, PM the Codex Administrators to get it pulled out of the archives.

[member="Valiens Nantaris"] [member="Lorelei Darke"]
 
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