Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Project Sentinel: Behind the Scenes

This was the tale of Burt and Niles.

Niles was the head of research and development within Arakyd Industries. He had painstakingly clawed his way up the ladder, sacrificing many years of...well, having a life to do so. He gave up his marriage for the job. His kids. Everything. Just to be the one who called the shots...just to be the one who didn't get chit on by the higher ups. Now, of course there was always going to be someone he answered to, but as department head he at least got treated like a human being.

Having given up so much, Niles was the type of man who took his job very seriously. He wasn't an unreasonable fellow, nor was he a tyrant. He simply expected things to be done right and did his best to fix any problems immediately. Sometimes, that included butting heads with terrible workers. Workers like Burt.

Burt was the sort of guy who did the bare minimum in life. He barely made the cut to get his technical certifications and only got into Arakyd by family ties. Burt was practically untouchable because of it; for who would have the stones to go toe-to-toe with a Board member over his employment? Needless to say, Burt rarely did his job, and when he did it was half-assed.

Well, somehow Burt got on the roster to build the Sentinel...and Niles was not happy.
 
Most likely the lazy bum had caught wind of the momentous occasion from his uncle, the aforementioned board member. Most likely he had pleaded the fat cat to slip him onto the roster so it looked good...or maybe just to annoy Niles. Whatever Burt did, he had managed to get on the list...and now he was a potential flight risk to the entire operation. It fell upon the shoulders of the department head to make sure that this bumbling wreck didn't destroy the efforts of three companies.

So where to put him?

Niles didn't trust Burt's technical "know how" at all. In fact, he didn't trust the portly oaf as far as he could throw him. Because of that, the department head was not going to have him within a parsec of the vital systems. Burt was not to lay a finger on the Hypertransit Package. Burt was not to go near the Iron Crown armaments. If it were truly up to Niles, he wouldn't be near the Sentinel to begin with!

Alas, he was stuck with the issue and so picked the most benign duty to assign: applying Nightshadow. Anyone with half a brain cell could accomplish this task. Hopefully Burt would be up for the challenge.
 
In a word, applying the flagship product was simple. All one had to do was pretend that they were applying a new paint job to the numerous plates of Durasteel before them. To accomplish the task, a room is always set aside. The aforementioned plates of Durasteel are suspended and a worker applies several layers of the anti-sensor coating. Application is done via spray...and there isn't much more to it than that.

Once the plates are sprayed, they are left for several hours to dry. From there they are taken out of the hands of the worker, cured, and applied directly to the ship. It was literally a painless, easy task that a child with decent aim could accomplish. However, despite the ease in fulfilling this task, Niles was nervous. Somehow, he just felt it in his gut that Burt would somehow kark this up. Somehow, the oaf would do something stupid and it would be his arse on the line.

Ah well. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
 
Niles was waiting for Burt.

He was standing by the time clock, awaiting his arrival from gods-knew-where. The oaf always arrived late. If not for the company's five minute grace period, Burt may have at least gotten some red in his ledger. But then again, he was one of those rare, untouchable employees. It almost confused Niles as to why Burt would choose to work in this department. Why not ask for a cushy desk job where he literally was expected to do nothing? Why stay in R&D? One could say, Niles asked himself those questions a lot.

As per the usual, Burt sauntered in without a care in the world. He clocked in and almost took two steps towards the Sentinel's build floor. That's when Niles caught him. "Already got you assigned elsewhere. Come on." he said, rather bluntly. Burt stared, almost as if the words uttered by his boss were spoken in a different language. Perhaps he couldn't fathom that he wouldn't be directly working on the Sentinel's innards. Niles could care less though, really.

"Well don't just stand there. Follow me." he practically growled. And with that, Niles led the bumbling oaf as far away from the project as he could.
 
Burt took his sweet time.

He had no pep in his step. No motivation to move. He was just a bump on a log, even when it came to walking! It frustrated Niles to no end that Burt had been handed everything. Where was the fairness in that? Sure, life wasn't fair and all, but that expression only added more salt to the wound. Was it fair that Niles had to give up everything to get where he was? Was it fair that Burt just had to ask someone to get where he was? Needless to say, the fact that Burt lagged behind only served to aggravate Niles all the more.

A two minute trek was dragged out to almost six because of it.

Upon arrival, Niles led the way into the room and flipped the nearest switch. Rows upon rows of lights kicked on, revealing plates of reinforced Durasteel to their eyes. "I figured that this task would befit your...certifications. You're on Nightshadow duty." said Niles, resisting the urge to allow more angst into his tone.
 
"I've never been on Nightshadow duty before." came the oaf's response. "I'm untrained...maybe I should be put somewhere else?"

Oh that was bold. In what universe does one get away with questioning their superior? In what universe...bah, it's this universe. This microcosm known as Arakyd Industries was the divine contradiction to the norm. Nowhere else could one go in the known Galaxy and pull off what Burt just did. They would be on their ass in seconds. But here, where idiots were protected, such travesties could transpire.

Niles' eye literally twitched.

"I am aware of the fact that you are untrained in Nightshadow application. However, you are trained in painting starfighters. Now, unless your certification is falsif-"

"No no, it's the real thing. Honest."

"Good. Then you know the equipment that we are using and the techniques to get the task done. Nightshadow application isn't much different than painting a hull. All you have to do is spray, move onto the next one, repeat."

Burt nodded, as if he truly understood. Niles seriously doubted that was the case, however. "Good. I'll be here to monitor you. Consider this training."
 
The next few minutes consisted of "suiting up."

Nightshadow, while not a deadly toxin on contact, was not the sort of thing you wanted on your skin. It itched. It burned. It left marks. When one makes a cocktail designed to nullify sensor pings, it's bound to not be the most friendly to the body. As such, as much as Niles would have loved natural selection to take place, he monitored Burt putting on the protective gear he had set aside. After all, it would be his arse if anything so much as splattered on the man's bare skin or was inhaled.

So, he stood there, tapping his foot whilst Burt donned the jumper, gloves, and mask associated with the task.

When it was all said and done, the oaf looked even more ridiculous than usual. It was a small thing that provided a shred of amusement...but said amusement was lost when Burt picked up the nozzle. "Point that karking thing away from me!" Niles barked.

This was going to be a long day.
 
Once Burt had been suited up...and actually faced the right karking direction...it was time for the magic to begin.

Niles took a cautious step back, as he was not wearing any protective gear, and motioned for the oaf to proceed. Much to his surprise, the result was...a clean line. Burt flicked his wrist, as if this was a practiced maneuver, and sprayed an even line across the surface of the Durasteel plate. He followed this up with another flick of his wrist...and another...and another. It was a surprising thing to admit, but Burt was actually accomplishing his task.

There was no sudden flood of fuel and grease as a result. There was no damaged product like before. Burt finally hadn't karked something up.

Niles steeled himself, however. While he may have been a natural at spraying plates of Durasteel...or so it seemed...there were still a metric kark ton of them. That meant there were plenty of opportunities for Burt to make a disaster out of a simple task. So, wordlessly, the department head watched the walking, talking, pain in the arse go to work.
 
"How come there isn't an automation for this?"

Burt had managed to reach his third plate of Durasteel before breaking the silence. Of course Niles wasn't going to say anything to the man unless it was necessary...so of course it would be Burt would talked. And, as to be expected, his question was just the exposition to a complaint. By now, Niles had taught himself to ignore the oaf when he started complaining...as there was no end. Literally. Nothing was ever good enough for the entitled buffoon.

"It makes no sense. A company as rich as Arakyd should have droids doing this."

Kark it.

"Oh I agree." snapped Niles. "It would be lovely to have some competent droids in this facility. They would come on time. They wouldn't complain. They would get their tasks done well, swiftly, and correctly. I wish Arakyd just gave me a bunch of droids to work with."

Niles caught himself. He almost added: Then I wouldn't have to deal with you.
 
Perhaps Burt truly was dumb.

Maybe his mother had dropped him as an infant. Maybe he took a hit whilst he was young. Maybe he was just born that way. Whatever the case was, the snide remarks made by a frustrated Niles flew right over his head. Burt didn't realize that the angsty words were directed squarely at him...and thus he simply shrugged and and carried on. As for Niles, he stepped back, pulled up a chair, and continued to watch the oaf spray the coats of Nightshadow.

Surprisingly enough, despite the minutes rolling into hours, Niles didn't catch a single slip up.

Burt didn't somehow manage to break the line and cover the room in Nightshadow. He didn't spray carelessly and waste product. He just...did it actually well. For once, the oaf had managed to somewhat impress the department head. Now, did this mean that Niles was giving up his angst? No. Did this mean that he was going to treat Burt better and start playing nice? Heck no. What it meant was that Burt had solved Niles' dilemma.

Burt gave Niles the ability to lock him away in a secluded room, sentenced to nothing more than spraying. It was salvation at last.
 

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