Private Peace in the Gardens

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

Staying on Coruscant, it can be hard to forget that life can be quiet, muted and that nature flourishes out there in the galaxy. Not everything is made of metal and neon lights. So, it was always good for Kat to come to the Jedi Temple and visit the gardens. There it reminded her of home, the gardens her mother would pay workers to so delicately care for. While her father enjoyed working as a mechanic and using his hands, getting dirty, her mother was very much the opposite, enjoying the money they had to get others to do the work for her. Allowing her to reap the benefits without having to ruin her nails. Kat never understand that but could not help but marvel at the gardens they did have. Nothing outrageous but the gardens they had were beautiful, peaceful, a small slice of heaven.

Wandering through the temple, Kat had her sunglasses adorned to hide her eyes, caf in hand to help wake up after a night of hard partying and walking with a purposeful stride. Reaching the gardens, her fingers delicately caressed the petals of a couple of flowers as she sipped her caf. Thinking about the life she was leading, what course of action she would be taking next and what could possibly be install for her next. Hanging around the Jedi Temple was all well and good, and she was hopeful to take on a Padawan, part of her still felt a connection to the Jedi and she did want to become a Jedi Master. But she wasn't ready, she was too uncertain about her life and felt hollow at times.

"Maybe becoming a Master just isn't the achievement I can aspire for. I doubt any Padawan would be helped under my tutelage, likely do them more harm than good." Kat sighed softly to herself as she continued to sip her drink. Her practices with Ataru were going well, she was finding the skills coming back to her and she knew plenty of the Force to teach classes but to have a Padawan, someone constantly around her, she just felt that she would let them down. Fail in providing guidance because her life was far too chaotic and unbalanced.

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple Gardens
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

Gotto was never one for urban environments. Even with his own living space converted into a botanical room of sorts, it was nice to have a retreat from the unnatural. The gardens in the temple were just that, a place for him to escape and meditate, attuning his mind with the living force. The Kage knight had perched himself in the branches of a stout tree, which had been grown in the center of the space. It was a beautiful garden, with paths lined by flowers and no void space left unfilled by vegetation. It was there that he had been sleeping, allowing his dreams to wander that of the natural world, when a stifled voice came to his ears...

"I doubt any Padawan would be helped under my tutelage, likely do them more harm than good."

"Come to tell the plants your anxieties?" Gotto asked casually from his perch. "They're good listeners, but they aren't well suited for giving advice about the physical world."

Gotto dropped down to the woman's level, a warm smile spreading across his face.

"Apologies," he continued, "I was a bit lost in thought when your words reached my ears. It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop. I'm Gotto."

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

A voice called out to her and Kat turned, she gave no indication that she was startled or surprised that someone else was around. It was if she had been expecting someone around, though she had hoped for peace, it was a public garden so it was natural to assume that another would be around. Though hearing her whispers to the flowers felt a little invasive if she was going to be truthful. However, it could not always be helped and this man seemed sincere in his apology for overhearing her. "Well, sometimes one needs a listener, someone who will just listen to the anxieties and conversation, not feeling a need to solve the issue." Kat stated in a neutral tone.

She had not looked at the man yet, studying the flowers and letting out an internal sigh, for it was a disruption of the peace she had sought out but likely a necessary one. Being alone, seeking out the loner mentality had not been achieving the balance and peace that she had sought after. Looking over to him, she nodded her head slightly, "I sincerely hope you were not aiming to eavesdrop, otherwise someone might assume you had ill intentions. I am Kat Decoria, What brings you to the gardens then?" Kat asked as she drank her caf slowly.

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple Gardens
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

"I sincerely hope you were not aiming to eavesdrop, otherwise someone might assume you had ill intentions. I am Kat Decoria, What brings you to the gardens then?"

The woman seemed troubled, far more than her words previously indicated. If she was looking for inner peace, she surely wouldn't find it here. Gotto did find it amusing that she had considered if he intended to eavesdrop. It was a public space after all, one used by many to relax. Still, it seemed that, behind her sunglasses, she was hiding the remnants of a hangover. A reason she didn't think about talking to herself in public, perhaps.

"It was not my intention, no," Gotto reaffirmed. "I'm afraid I've always been highly susceptible to sound. I just came to get away from the sounds of the city. Urban environments are still very unusual to me. It's been some time since I've been on Coruscant. I much prefer a setting like this."

He reflected on what she had said about wanting something to listen to her, but not provide solutions. It seemed that she was trying to run from something, but what he couldn't say. Still, Gotto didn't intend to pry. He was a believer in respecting privacy, especially that of strangers.

"And I guess you're here for retreat as well?" the Kage guessed. "It's a pretty common destination for those looking to meditate, or so I've been told anyways."

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

Kat rarely expressed much in emotions bar exhaustion, she had been working so hard at hospitals and dealt with so many different types that she buried a lot. Internally she was the same mess as always, externally she tended to look very tired but that was all. Slurping the coffee, Kat looked over the guy, sensitive hearing was interesting. It was risky for as loud as the city was, most of it ends up blurred and background noise. War tended to be louder, unpredictable and relentless. She feared that this man would be rendered useless in war if he could not cope with the noise of the city.

"Well, coming to the city, practicing to drown out the noise till it becomes nothing but white noise. Hopefully that will desensitise you before you try your hand in the wars with the Maw. Those tend to be much louder and much harder to block out." Finishing her caf, Kat threw the cup into a bin and sighed. She could still hear the cries of war, the pleas of soldiers dying, begging to survive. It had been all too much.

Shaking her head, the ghosts of the past still haunted her but she needed to focus on the present conversation. "Just a break before I work. Can be nice to come here, see something different before heading into the city or stuck in rooms teaching." Kat stated, not entirely truthful but not a lie either.

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple Gardens
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

"Hopefully that will desensitise you before you try your hand in the wars with the Maw. Those tend to be much louder and much harder to block out."

"I'm familiar with such things," Gotto remarked, becoming slightly more somber. "Those are sounds that I'll never forget. One could never truly forget their first... I did field work often in my youth. It was my intention to become a Shadow, but the Force had other plans for me."

The grass around his feet seemed to grow as he spoke, as if his body was subconsciously utilizing plant surge without his mind thinking to do so, even if the effects were minimal. It was as if his very emotions seemed to spur a response in the vegetation between his toes.

"A teacher, you say," the Kage reacted, a warm smile spreading across his face. "With what the next generation has ahead of them, they'll need guidance wherever they can. I've always wanted to teach, but I fear I'd be no good. I'd likely quit before even writing down a planner. Such forward thinking is a bit beyond my lifestyle."

The knight managed a laugh. He was, if anything, very self-aware of his shortcomings.

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

It was curious that Gotto could cope with the noises of war but less able to handle Coruscant... Though it could be due to the sounds of war, that he felt less able in handling simple Coruscant noises. Kat could see it being that way around but she wasn't going to pry about it, it wasn't her place and she didn't really want to open up about her trauma and refused others to open up about theirs. "I always assumed I would be a Battlemaster, that my weapon training would be one of the highest in the Order. I think being Echani, I would default to the basics, fighting. However, the Force can guide us on the correct path when we are lost."

Being a healer was never the plan and she started off wanting to learn how to heal in order to help others and keep herself alive in battles. Soon it became her strongest skill, her abilities in healing rivalled her skills in fighting sometimes. Kat noted the grass growing as Gotto moved around, it was a curious thing but she wasn't that surprised, his dislike of urban environments, it made sense that he would have an affinity for plants.

"Teaching is important. Not just for guidance for the next generation but also allows us to see our blindspots, learn how to improvise, improve our own abilities and deal with letting go of those we care about when the time comes. It is also a step towards becoming a Jedi Master. Cannot be a Master if you do not know how to teach." Kat suggested as she shrugged, "plants and students aren't too different. Both need nurturing, caring and attention but also allow them grow on their own as well."

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple Gardens
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

"I always assumed I would be a Battlemaster, that my weapon training would be one of the highest in the Order. I think being Echani, I would default to the basics, fighting. However, the Force can guide us on the correct path when we are lost."

"I guess what they say about assumptions is true," Gotto remarked with a grin. "They make an ass out of you and me."

He couldn't resist lightening the mood. Gotto was positive by nature. Not making such a terrible joke there would go against every fiber of his being. It was simply unavoidable. What she said next was interesting, about students being much like plants. Gotto would tend to agree with this statement, but there was more to be maid from such a comparison.

"An interesting analogy," the Kage nodded, stroking his beard. "But I'd wager there's more to it than meets the eye." Gotto sat down cross-legged, laying his hand on the grass to let it grow between his fingers. "One can think of themselves as a nurturer and miss what goes unseen. The air we breath... they food that nourishes us. A relationship is always two sided. The one we share with plants must be symbiotic to amount to something meaningful. In that way, perhaps the line is blurred, making it unclear who is gardening who. Teaching may very well follow suit. If we're using your comparison, that is."

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

"Oh, but that only works for assume, surely assumption makes an ass out of u and mption? Though, I do not know what mption is..." Kat chuckled as her silly little joke, it was something she would do all the time with this particular phrase, since it was often misused.

Shrugging, "you can break any analogy further, explore it deeper. But aye, I would think it very well follows suit from what you said. Whether or not that makes it any more or less appealing. I cannot say. I just know that some find the separation after training complete and that it is a lesson for letting go of attachments and avoid making them toxic as it is for teaching a Padawan on how to survive and work at protecting others and themselves." Kat shrugged, "it can be a little frustrating but informative on yourself. Providing you insight in flaws or weaknesses that you did not see before."

Continuing to walk slowly, moving around, "for a lot, having a Padawan is like raising a child. The bond formed is similar to parent and child, I think a part of me finds that most appealing. Not going to have a child of my own so be nice feel something similar through another way. Though it might also be very important for me to realise that I need to let go as well then." Kat shrugged again and sighed, she hadn't realised before now that she did want children. It was something to reflect at a later point.

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple Gardens
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

"That's what worries me the most," Gotto admitted. "Raising a child is a lot of pressure. I've only been a knight for five years now, and much of that time was spent in unwilling isolation. I'm not sure if I'd be ready to take on a student..."

To some extent, Gotto doubted that he could really pass on any wisdom to a student. Would he be too laid back? Could he provide the structure that a padawan no doubt required to rise and face the trials that lay before them? He couldn't say, really. All of this was hypothetical. The Kage knight hadn't taken on a student, so he could never truly know how effective of a teacher he could be.

"Perhaps I should give it a shot," the knight shrugged. "After all, the best way to see what to see if you can is to throw yourself in feet first, right?"

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

Nodding her head, raising a child, even an elder Padawan was a big deal. It was guiding them through the Force and moving them through life to the point that they could face the evils out there on their own and be capable of handling them alone. It was not perfect and she knew that some Knights and even Masters could succumb to the Dark Side but Padawans were the ones most at risk since their exploration of the Force was so early that it could be disastrous if not supervised.

"The burden is large and it can seem overwhelming but avoiding a challenge that life throws at us could end up living with regret and regret is a poison that consumes your life and near impossible to remove." Kat spoke as she reflected on moments on her life that she held in regret and how she wished she just had one chance, one small chance to change all that and living the life she had always dreamt of.

Sigh, the regret now creeping in meant that there was the craving of something alcoholic to just forget and move on from it. However, it was still early and she knew that she couldn't just go around the temple doing classes when drunk or go to work as a healer drunk, that was not something she would allow herself to do. "I could use another caf, did you want to walk to the cantina nearby and grabbing a drink?" Kat offered, the company had not been poor so she was happy to extend an invite to continue.

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple Gardens
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

It was very interesting how confidently she spoke about the trials of teaching. Giving council about the hardships of taking on such a burden and the regret of never trying while simultaneously being hung over. Gotto couldn't help but respect it a little. She clearly still had wisdom to share, even if she was going through a sore point in her life.

"That's... rather profound," the Kage noted. "I've certainly never considered what may happen if I miss my opportunity..."

Gotto didn't think on much, frankly, but at least now the thought was in his head. The last thing he wanted was to miss the opportunity to take on a padawan of his own.

"I could use another caf, did you want to walk to the cantina nearby and grabbing a drink?"

"I could go for caf," Gotto shrugged. "I haven't had my cup this morning."

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

Shrugging her shoulders, "sometimes we can all have moments of profoundness, especially with all that we have experienced. Done a lot, seen a lot and lost a lot myself. Also tends to be that I have the luck of being Echani so I am more naturally youthful, so people tend to think I hold more wisdom than I should for my age, then I tell them I am in my thirties and stun them." Kat chuckled deeply, it had happened a few times in her life time. Shrugging her shoulders as she looked around.

"Well, shame to leave this peaceful place so I can understand not being far in the caf consumptions. So, lets change that for both of us." Kat led the way towards the cafeteria. "So, tell me more about yourself, where do you come from? What do aspire to do within the Jedi?" Kat asked, curious to know more about the relative stranger next to her.

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

"So, tell me more about yourself, where do you come from? What do aspire to do within the Jedi?"

"Well," Gotto began, "I was born on Quarzite, but my family immigrated to Coruscant when I was very young. I was picked up by the New Jedi Order not too long after that. My... disconnect from urban environments came after I first became a knight. I became trapped underground and isolated for some time. I guess you could call it a metamorphosis of sorts. I emerged a different man. Or maybe I was always this man and I simply needed a something to break me out of my shell."

But what he truly wanted to do was a tricky one. Gotto went where the force willed him to. He was quite simple by nature, so perhaps his goals were not very profound. There was certainly a way to describe what it was he wanted to do. He simply needed to find the words...

"If I want to do anything while with the Jedi, it's be a source of growth and development," he concluded. "For people... communities... There's far too much bloodshed these days. I hope that I may be able to counteract some of that. A bit idealist, I know. Especially for someone as absentminded as myself..."

Gotto was nothing if not an idealist.

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

Nodding her head, Kat listened to what Gotto had to say and smiled warmly. "Never been to Quarzite myself, is it nice there?" Kat asked curious to know more about the world and where he had come from, it could inform a lot about a person. It was similar to how a twist in a foot could tell a lot about a person's intentions and emotions when sparring. Kat had always tried to relate outsiders reliance on language to similarities one might find in Echani combat. "Was it terrifying being trapped underground? I would hate it, a tad claustrophobic myself so anything enclosing can be very uncomfortable for me." Kat offered some sympathy for what could be seen as a very traumatic experience, "through the hardships of life, we forge ourselves. Whether for better or for worse."

Finding them at the cantina, Kat poured herself a caf and offered to pour one for Gotto as well. "well, helping to forge the next generation of Jedi could be a pathway to achieving your dream." Kat chuckled as she was still selling the idea of taking on a Padawan it seemed. "But also finding a way to offer balance, to ensure that the darkness of war doesn't consume us is crucial." Kat noted, she had avoided the war and taking part but she also understood the need to avoid being dragged down. "Being idealistic is never bad thing, Jedi are meant to be peace keepers, not warriors, ensuring that the Jedi don't lose the spark that might them good, peaceful beings is crucial otherwise then the Sith have truly won."

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

"I'm not sure myself," Gotto replied with a shrug. "I had always intended to visit Quarzite at some point, but I haven't had the chance to. I hear that the crystalline caves that cover the planet are stunning, though."

When the question of how he felt underground came up, he smiled a little. It had been the experience that had forged him, after all. It was hard to look back on such an event with disdain.

"At first, I was terrified," he answered. "It was as if the planet itself had swallowed me whole. Regrettably, my lightsaber was lost that day. I came to respect it though. One does not often get the opportunity to observe life at it's smallest and most complex, but I was forced to live amongst the things we often forget to see. It was less like being trapped and more like being transported to another world."

As Kat offered to pour him some caf, he respectfully accepted, continuing to listen to her speak.

"well, helping to forge the next generation of Jedi could be a pathway to achieving your dream."

"Perhaps you're right," the Kage agreed. "I've certainly considered such things..."

Balance, the darkness of war, peace... these were things all Jedi were forced to consider these days, especially now that the war had become a dual-front. It seemed that everyone had a different way of approaching it all. It was certainly interesting to hear someone else's perspective on it all.

"How about yourself?" Gotto asked her. "Any aspirations?"

 

[Kat Decoria]

Location: Coruscant
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Lightsaber Pike
Tags: Gotto Sorendu

Nodding her head, the planet sounded curious with having crystal caves, possibly a location of crystals used for Lightsabers. There were plenty of worlds out there that could do that, Ilum being one favoured by many but it was important to not overmine a single world for these resources. "Well, I am sure when the time is right and you can afford to take time away and visit that it will live up to expectations that you hold for it. As much as you can be reborn and rediscover yourself, it can be good to know where you come from to know where you will want to go forward?" Kat offered in suggestion as she sipped her caf.

A shiver raced up Kat's spine as she felt unnerved by Gotto's description of being trapped. For Kat, it sounded purely nightmarish and nothing would soothe that matter for her, no being buried alive like that was not natural or good in her own mind. However, it seemed effective for Gotto which is one positive out of the whole event. "Well, if you are still lacking a Lightsaber, perhaps the Force is attempting to return you to Quarzite to claim a crystal there and build a completely new one?" Kat suggested as she leaned on the counter a bit.

"It can be a lot to consider and changes a person's life." Kat nodded leaving the matter there. When Gotto asked about her own aspirations and goals, she shrugged. "I heal, I work with tech in a hobby capacity at the moment. Should be building myself some armour to be effective in the field but then I would have to be in a war situation and I start panicking and stressing out about things." Kat sighed, "been in a number of battles when I was younger, saw a lot of death and ran from the Jedi because I losing myself to it all. Not been a Jedi in name since, try to honour them but there is still a darkness in me that means I can't be a Jedi."

 

[Gotto Sorendu]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Kat Decoria ​

"I disagree," Gotto shrugged. "To assume that Jedi are perfect in every way is naïve. One simply doesn't stop being sentient. Emotions like fear aren't overwhelming because they're dark. It's because fear is natural. It's easy to feel it, and that's true of all Jedi, even those who charge head-first into the depths of hell..."

He knew very well how easy it was to feel fear, and he understood why war had given her as much trouble as she stated it did. The Jedi were peacekeepers, not soldiers. Their dedication to growth and compassion for life made experiencing such things difficult, especially when it was against beings like the Sith.

"You've already taken a very important step," the Kage added. "The fact that you're here now and can admit your struggles means that you're on the right path, even if you have yet to recognize it. All that remains to be done is the action you'll take to begin making peace with it. Healthily, of course." Gotto subtly hinted at the fact that he knew she was hung over, though didn't outright say it. He figured she would pick up on that. "Unfortunately, I'm afraid I'm no good when it comes to emotional support," he continued. "But perhaps you may know someone who is. Many fall into the trap that the Jedi code pushes us into isolation. They cut themselves off from those who may be able to help them. It's a shame... the compassion born from connections has historically achieved incredible things. I'm not saying this will solve all your problems, but it may be a good place to start."

Gotto leaned back in his seat, taking a swig of his caf. He didn't feel that he was very good at this 'advice-giving' thing, but he was at least satisfied that he had given what he thought was a heartfelt answer.

"Who knows," Gotto said with a warm smile. "A Jedi you may yet be."