J’lyus Vorrun
Character
His boots clicked along the floor with each brisk step he took. He wasn’t late, he just refused to arrive merely on time, and Padawans should be early, particularly when the ceremony felt like it belonged to him.The prodigy, burdened with as much disappointment as by talent, was finally stepping forward. Still, beneath the excitement, a very familiar dread threatens to smolder him. After being a youngling for so long, hope had become quite fragile. How long would I be a Padawan? The question rose uninvited. It had taken root and refused to let go. He straightened his posture, like a fortress whose gates had long been shut.
His mind drifted back to a time he felt where everything began to unravel. The moment his quest to advance among the Jedi ranks truly began-the day he was told no. He had been much younger then. Training alongside his fellow classmates, the ones he first assumed he would grow with. The lesson that day was another Soresu exercise; he remembered the movements, though the specifics had long been forgotten. What stood out now was the silence that filled the room. The training room was still, the overhead lights humming softly, as he stood at the center of the training mat, completely drenched in sweat. Shattered practice droids littered the floor, with three more hovering helplessly where they had been disabled.The room was now unnervingly silent, even though he basically performed flawlessly. Master Rhalen, was simply watching him from the edge of the room, silent in the way that J'lyus' stomach would twist.
J’lyus straightened, pushing away the tremor that was in his hands.
“Master… I completed the assessment… Right?” He asked, his breaths shaking..
Rhalen approached his fatigued student slowly, his hands were tucked in his sleeves, his expression unreadable.
“You did complete the exercise,’ Rhalen said, “Actually, you performed beautifully like you usually do.”
The spark of hope began to flicker in J’lyus’s chest. Then Rhalen let out a deep sigh. “Yet, I can not allow you to advance.” J’lyus’s throat tightened as the spark extinguished with the strike of his words. He opened his mouth to try to speak, yet only a thin whisper escaped his lips.
“I…I…I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?” The words finally escaped J’lyus’s mouth. Rhalen stood beside his pupil, putting his hand on J'lyus' shoulder in hopes of helping ease the pain his young pupil must be feeling.
“You’re Soresu guard is incredibly disciplined, your timing precise, I even dare say flawless. If you were to be judged on skill alone, you should not only move on. You should be a Knight.” J’lyus’s jaw tightened, and then his fists. Only after did the words find their escape.
“Then why hold me back?” His voice shook as he spoke. The words sounded defiant, almost reckless in nature, nevertheless they were built on something far more fragile then J’lyus would admit. The ache had settled deeper than he wanted to admit. His shoulders locked. His breath went shallow.
“Why?.” He asked again, and quieter now This time, his voice barely held together.
Rhalen lowered his voice, not wanting it to carry judgement. Instead he wanted his words to carry only truth. “Because, my dear and wonderfully talented student. You’ve learned the movements of Soresu, but you never learned the lessons it was trying to teach.” J’lyus’s eye ridges tensed. “But I defended against every strike. I even redirected every bolt.” He said as his brow furrowed, the world itself seemed to have shifted off balance. He tried to force his order into his thoughts that had lost their sequence. To him nothing he felt made sense, because relief had bled into unease, certainty had now become doubt. It wasn’t that his emotions had replaced each other, it was more akin that they stacked upon each other and pressed down until he couldn’t tell which one was real.
“Yes, that is true, but you did so with fear still lingering inside your heart.” Rhalen said gently.
The words hit J’lyus and he flinched, a sharp recoil that came before the arrival of a thought, before the meaning even fully settled. His face tightened.His stomach tightened further, skin prickling with the sense that something was off. He didn’t argue with his teacher, he just simply pulled back, as if his instinct alone knew better.
“I wasn’t afraid.” He finally muttered the words. Rhalen's face remained firm, and with calmness in his voice. “You were certainly afraid. Afraid of being struck, of making a mistake, and of failure.” The old sage let out a deep sigh, as one who had to deliver unwanted news and yet hated such a task. “Soresu is not meant to hide all those fears. Its true purpose is to quiet them. You use the form as a shield, when it's meant for you to become that shield. It’s patience that is manifested into motion. Stillness made form. It’s supposed to be the discipline to let the storm crash upon you without the storm itself getting inside.”
J’lyus looked away, the room began to flutter like a candle straining to stay lit. “I did everything the form had demanded of me.” J’lyus let out as a whisper, a faint protest that he missed something that now felt so obvious.
Rhalen looked at his pupil, both of his hands gently gribbed the Miraluka shoulders. “No, you did everything you thought was needed. This is different. Soresu is patience and trust, in yourself and in the Force. You hold the form together, but you don’t hold yourself.” The words had struck the young Miraluka harder than any blow could have.
“So this is it, I’m going to be held back.” J’lyus murmured to his teacher. Rhalen nodded and with a softer tone spoke. “For now, but remember this is not forever. You must understand, this isn’t to punish you. Look at it as a lesson, and you are much closer to grasping it than you realize.”
“I’ll try harder, be better,” J’lyus said, he can’t help that those words tasted like ash. Rhalen’s voice was a whisper, and still steady. “I don’t need you to try hard, I need you to try differently. When you take your Soresu stance, don’t brace for the world to come strike at you. Instead, allow it to flow around you. Trust yourself and the Force enough to not fear the next blows.” Rhalen lifted his young pupils' faces. “You will advance, J’lyus. Don’t doubt it, it’ll come when the storm within you stills and is calm.”
Though years had gone since that time, here he was finally a Padawan. The doors stood open. He stepped toward them. He finally stood at the entrance of the ceremony where he would formally be recognized, and cross the threshold he had waited years to reach.
His mind drifted back to a time he felt where everything began to unravel. The moment his quest to advance among the Jedi ranks truly began-the day he was told no. He had been much younger then. Training alongside his fellow classmates, the ones he first assumed he would grow with. The lesson that day was another Soresu exercise; he remembered the movements, though the specifics had long been forgotten. What stood out now was the silence that filled the room. The training room was still, the overhead lights humming softly, as he stood at the center of the training mat, completely drenched in sweat. Shattered practice droids littered the floor, with three more hovering helplessly where they had been disabled.The room was now unnervingly silent, even though he basically performed flawlessly. Master Rhalen, was simply watching him from the edge of the room, silent in the way that J'lyus' stomach would twist.
J’lyus straightened, pushing away the tremor that was in his hands.
“Master… I completed the assessment… Right?” He asked, his breaths shaking..
Rhalen approached his fatigued student slowly, his hands were tucked in his sleeves, his expression unreadable.
“You did complete the exercise,’ Rhalen said, “Actually, you performed beautifully like you usually do.”
The spark of hope began to flicker in J’lyus’s chest. Then Rhalen let out a deep sigh. “Yet, I can not allow you to advance.” J’lyus’s throat tightened as the spark extinguished with the strike of his words. He opened his mouth to try to speak, yet only a thin whisper escaped his lips.
“I…I…I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?” The words finally escaped J’lyus’s mouth. Rhalen stood beside his pupil, putting his hand on J'lyus' shoulder in hopes of helping ease the pain his young pupil must be feeling.
“You’re Soresu guard is incredibly disciplined, your timing precise, I even dare say flawless. If you were to be judged on skill alone, you should not only move on. You should be a Knight.” J’lyus’s jaw tightened, and then his fists. Only after did the words find their escape.
“Then why hold me back?” His voice shook as he spoke. The words sounded defiant, almost reckless in nature, nevertheless they were built on something far more fragile then J’lyus would admit. The ache had settled deeper than he wanted to admit. His shoulders locked. His breath went shallow.
“Why?.” He asked again, and quieter now This time, his voice barely held together.
Rhalen lowered his voice, not wanting it to carry judgement. Instead he wanted his words to carry only truth. “Because, my dear and wonderfully talented student. You’ve learned the movements of Soresu, but you never learned the lessons it was trying to teach.” J’lyus’s eye ridges tensed. “But I defended against every strike. I even redirected every bolt.” He said as his brow furrowed, the world itself seemed to have shifted off balance. He tried to force his order into his thoughts that had lost their sequence. To him nothing he felt made sense, because relief had bled into unease, certainty had now become doubt. It wasn’t that his emotions had replaced each other, it was more akin that they stacked upon each other and pressed down until he couldn’t tell which one was real.
“Yes, that is true, but you did so with fear still lingering inside your heart.” Rhalen said gently.
The words hit J’lyus and he flinched, a sharp recoil that came before the arrival of a thought, before the meaning even fully settled. His face tightened.His stomach tightened further, skin prickling with the sense that something was off. He didn’t argue with his teacher, he just simply pulled back, as if his instinct alone knew better.
“I wasn’t afraid.” He finally muttered the words. Rhalen's face remained firm, and with calmness in his voice. “You were certainly afraid. Afraid of being struck, of making a mistake, and of failure.” The old sage let out a deep sigh, as one who had to deliver unwanted news and yet hated such a task. “Soresu is not meant to hide all those fears. Its true purpose is to quiet them. You use the form as a shield, when it's meant for you to become that shield. It’s patience that is manifested into motion. Stillness made form. It’s supposed to be the discipline to let the storm crash upon you without the storm itself getting inside.”
J’lyus looked away, the room began to flutter like a candle straining to stay lit. “I did everything the form had demanded of me.” J’lyus let out as a whisper, a faint protest that he missed something that now felt so obvious.
Rhalen looked at his pupil, both of his hands gently gribbed the Miraluka shoulders. “No, you did everything you thought was needed. This is different. Soresu is patience and trust, in yourself and in the Force. You hold the form together, but you don’t hold yourself.” The words had struck the young Miraluka harder than any blow could have.
“So this is it, I’m going to be held back.” J’lyus murmured to his teacher. Rhalen nodded and with a softer tone spoke. “For now, but remember this is not forever. You must understand, this isn’t to punish you. Look at it as a lesson, and you are much closer to grasping it than you realize.”
“I’ll try harder, be better,” J’lyus said, he can’t help that those words tasted like ash. Rhalen’s voice was a whisper, and still steady. “I don’t need you to try hard, I need you to try differently. When you take your Soresu stance, don’t brace for the world to come strike at you. Instead, allow it to flow around you. Trust yourself and the Force enough to not fear the next blows.” Rhalen lifted his young pupils' faces. “You will advance, J’lyus. Don’t doubt it, it’ll come when the storm within you stills and is calm.”
Though years had gone since that time, here he was finally a Padawan. The doors stood open. He stepped toward them. He finally stood at the entrance of the ceremony where he would formally be recognized, and cross the threshold he had waited years to reach.