Private Once, We Were Jedi

[Cas Tynen]

The plains stretched endlessly beneath the afternoon sun, tall grasses bending softly beneath the wind in slow rolling waves. The homestead rested quietly among them, isolated from the nearest settlement by several kilometers of open land and old stone fencing. Cas preferred it that way.

The old Kiffar sat on the porch with his boots propped against the railing, one hand lazily holding a half-finished drink while the other rested across his stomach. Somewhere in the distance, music drifted faintly from an old portable radio one of his grandchildren had forgotten weeks ago. He still hadn't turned it off. Not because he particularly liked the music, but because figuring out how the damn thing worked sounded exhausting.

A pair of younger voices echoed somewhere further down the hill followed by sudden laughter and the unmistakable sound of a speeder engine struggling for dear life. Cas didn't even open his eyes.

"If that thing explodes." He called out lazily. "I'm charging your parents."

"Dad said you don't even need credits anymore!"

"Your dad also thought frosted tips were a good idea at nineteen. We don't use him as a source."

A chorus of offended shouting answered him from the distance and Cas smirked faintly into his drink. The years had settled across him gently. Age lined his face now, silver threading through shorter hair and beard alike, but there was still strength beneath the softness of old age. The kind earned through survival rather than preserved through pride.

The Force around him no longer surged the way it once had in war. There were no sharp edges nor constant tension, only quiet currents moving steadily beneath the surface. Peace.

Then he felt it. A familiar presence brushing against the edge of his senses through the Force. Cas stilled, not because of danger, but because some connections remained recognizable no matter how many years passed between them. Slowly, the old Jedi lowered his drink.

"...Well, I'll be." A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Sakadi Marathi Sinvala

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Cas Tynen

T Y N E N -H O M E S T E A D

At her behest, the landspeeder had taken her to the shallow stream that marked the border between the steep hills and flat expanse. The hills, with their tall grasses, boulders, and bright wildflowers, were best traversed afoot. The hike was a small price to pay for visiting a dear friend.

Over the years, it had become something of an unspoken ritual between visits. Each journey revealed a landscape subtly altered from the last. Flowers grew where none had before, trees had bent further toward the valley winds, and paths were reshaped by rain and wandering feet. Every change reminded her how long it had been since she’d come here.

The thought always carried a faint sting of guilt. After all, she was the one who still remained mostly untouched by age.

As she crested the final hill, her awareness stretched instinctively ahead of her, reaching through the Force in search of a presence she knew by heart.

She found it immediately. Still here, thank the Light.

Only then did the homestead itself come into view below, nestled within the secluded valley. The sprawling property was cluttered in the comfortable way of a life fully lived, yet meticulously cared for all the same.

And at present, it was brimming with life. Sakadi lifted a hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight as she studied the tiny figures moving about below.

She searched among them for the brightest signature in the Force and smiled faintly when she found it.

~ Hello Cas. It’s been a while. ~

Her telepathic voice reached the valley long before she herself could, as she continued her descent at an unhurried pace.

~ You will have to grant me a moment. These hills are steeper than I remember. ~

The truth was that even she could feel the slow accumulation of years nowadays. But that remained politely unspoken.

Her attention drifted back toward the gathering below.

~ And what is this? You somehow acquired even more grandchildren? ~ Amused, she added ~ I am no longer certain I wish to come any closer. ~

The remark carried dry humor, but beneath it lingered genuine affection.

There were so many of them now.

More members of the sprawling Tynen clan. More lives to quietly keep watch over in the years ahead. With her own lifespan stretching onward for perhaps another two centuries, Sakadi suspected she would witness most of their stories unfold.

Guard them where I can, she thought quietly. And what came after her… perhaps Yenna would shoulder in turn.

By the time Sakadi finally reached the valley floor, the children had begun noticing the unfamiliar figure approaching from the hills. Their movements slowed. Suspicion and curiosity spread rapidly among them.

One of the older grandchildren pointed first. "Uhh- gramps? There’s somebody here!"

Sakadi continued forward serenely, lilac eyes flicking between faces as she counted them.

~ It truly has been too long, hasn’t it? They do not recognise me at all. ~ A note of exaggerated surprise colored her telepathic tone.

~ Though, I suppose the eldest among them was only four during my last visit. I should have anticipated this. ~ Her gaze softened. ~ Still, I intend to win them over. That is why I brought gifts. ~

The backpack slung over her shoulders bulged conspicuously with supplies and wrapped packages, offering an excellent excuse for her deliberately measured pace downhill.

Then her attention shifted fully toward Cas again.

A subtle smile touched her lips.

~ And yes, before you ask, I brought you something as well. ~ With delay, she added ~ And no, it is not another Padawan this time. ~

 

[Cas Tynen]

A smile spread faintly across Cas' face the moment Sakadi's voice brushed against his mind. Slowly, the old Kiffar pushed himself upright from the porch chair with a low grunt that he immediately chose to ignore out of principle. His gaze drifted toward the hills overlooking the valley, searching for the approaching figure long before his eyes actually found her.

The chuckle that left him at her comment about the grandchildren carried easily across the porch.

"Yeah, well, you can blame Eivor and Kido for that one. I stopped at two."

Honestly, he should've known his children would end up like this. The twins had inherited too much of him and too much of Zemira to ever live quiet, uncomplicated lives. Big families, loud homes, and endless chaos. Not that he minded. If anything, the noise helped.

There were days where the house felt too quiet otherwise. Days where the absence sitting in certain corners of the home became easier to notice than others. But then the grandchildren would show up unannounced, tear through the valley like a pack of tookas, eat half his food stores and somehow leave him happier than before.

Below the porch, several of the younger Tynens had already begun slowing as Sakadi approached the valley floor. Suspicion spread rapidly among them in the way it always did whenever strangers wandered too close to the property. A few of the older ones exchanged glances while one of the younger grandchildren quietly muttered something that sounded suspiciously like: "She looks like a wizard."

Cas snorted through his nose before making his way down the porch steps.

"It's alright." He called out. "It's your... sort of aunt, Sakadi."

The explanation only seemed to confuse them more. Cas reached the group just as his eldest grandson stepped slightly forward, eyes narrowed curiously toward the approaching Sephi. Jeyten had gotten tall over the last year. Taller than Cas had been at that age already. Strong in the Force too. Strong enough that Cas had started recognizing the same restless intensity he'd once carried himself.

The boy visited often during his retreats to the valley. Sometimes for guidance or just to sit quietly. Cas rested a hand against Jeyten's shoulder briefly.

"You brought gifts?" He projected back toward Sakadi with amusement threading through the words. "You were never this nice to me back when I was a Padawan."

Jeyten glanced sideways toward him. "Wait, this is the Sakadi?"

"Don't sound too excited." Cas replied dryly.

As Sakadi descended closer down the hill, Cas found himself studying her for a moment longer than intended. Funny thing, age. He was over a century younger than her, yet time had settled far more visibly across his own features. Silver threaded through his shorter hair and beard while lines rested permanently around his eyes now. Meanwhile Sakadi still carried much of the same serene elegance she always had.

Though through the Force, he could feel the difference more clearly now. Not weakness, just years. The same quiet slowing he felt in himself some mornings.

A smirk tugged at the corner of Cas' mouth again at her comment about not bringing another Padawan. Briefly, his thoughts drifted toward Yenna. Toward all the years between then and now.

"Tempted to give you one of these maniacs as karma for what you did to me." Then Cas looked sideways toward Jeyten. "Jey, go help the old lady."

Jeyten blinked once in horror. "Grandpa-"

"Don't argue with your elders. That's disrespectful."

"You literally just called her old."

"And?" Cas shot back instantly. "She is old. Older than dirt, actually. Probably helped invent it."

Several of the grandchildren snickered while Jeyten groaned under his breath before reluctantly moving to help Sakadi with the bags anyway. Cas watched him go with poorly concealed satisfaction before his attention settled fully back onto Sakadi once more.

"It's been twelve years." He said aloud. "How've you been? What brings you here?"

Sakadi Marathi Sinvala

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Cas Tynen​

~ Ah, sweet Eivor. Did you know she came to visit me a few years ago? ~ A fond smile softened her features. ~ I do adore that girl. Let her multiply all she wishes. The galaxy could survive with a few more souls like hers. ~

Eivor and Kido. She had met them only a handful of times. Mostly when they were younger, back when she had been a frequent visitor of the Tynen family. They had been children then. Bright-eyed, loud, endlessly curious little things darting through the house and fields while the adults spoke. They remembered little of that now that they were adults themselves. Yet somehow, Eivor had remembered her well enough to seek her out again. To visit.

~ I was meant to instruct you back then, not spoil you rotten with gifts. ~ She countered light-heartedly at his surprise about the gifts, amusement woven through her disembodied voice.

Sakadi only came to a halt when Cas nudged one of his grandsons forward to assist her with the mountain of bags she had somehow carried across the hiltops. She regarded the teen with a quiet intensity, as though she measured him up. Weighing and assessing the teen whose posture said he’d rather be somewhere else.

~ Ah. Of course you would send me this one, wouldn’t you? ~ The corners of her lips curled knowingly. ~ Yes, I can see it already. Stubborn as a Lylek and twice as difficult to predict as a hawk-bat. ~ Her gaze drifted sidelong toward Cas. ~ No. One Tynen to train was more than enough trouble for a lifetime, I assure you. ~

When Jeyten reluctantly offered to help - though his expression suggested he viewed the task as a personal injustice - Sakadi surrendered the heavy bags into his care with visible gratitude.

~ Twelve years... ~ She sighed. ~ I lost track of time, I’m afraid. I had takena step back now that the Duchess of Isobe no longer needed my help, but… ~ She shook her head. An odd gesture to the grandchildren, considering her silence.

~ I will tell you everything later. ~ A trace of exhaustion entered her tone. ~ But first… would anyone terribly object if I bathed before the interrogations begin? It was an extraordinarily long hike. ~

 

[Cas Tynen]

Cas' grin softened slightly at Sakadi's praise of Eivor. Eivor had inherited the best parts of Zemira. Even now, decades later, there were moments where Cas caught glimpses of her mother in the way she smiled or carried herself and it still hit him right in the chest without warning.

Kido though? Cas' eyes drifted briefly toward Jeyten as the teenager awkwardly carried Sakadi's bags with the enthusiasm of a condemned prisoner. Yeah, that one was his fault. Too much attitude, impulsiveness, and restless energy buried beneath the surface pretending to be confidence. It seemed to be a curse all the Tynen men inherited.

The smile on Cas' face weakened slightly at Sakadi's analysis of the boy and her immediate refusal to train another Tynen. Amusing as the exchange was, the old guilt still lingered somewhere beneath the surface after all these years. His fall hadn't only hurt him, it hurt everyone around him too. Zemira, Yenna, Mat, Sakadi... even Elryn.

Maybe one Tynen truly had been enough trouble for a lifetime.

"I don't blame you for losing track of a measly twelve years when you've probably lived longer than my great-grandparents." The amusement in his energy returned faintly. "That, and the whole Thustra situation."

At the mention of bathing, Cas looked across the gathered family until his attention settled on one of his older granddaughters leaning against the porch railing nearby.

"Mira."

Zemira straightened immediately at being singled out. Unlike Jeyten, she carried herself with a calmer sort of confidence. Less outward intensity, more observant and careful. One of Eivor's children.

"Can you show Sakadi where the washroom is?" Cas asked. Then his eyes shifted briefly toward the others nearby. "Boys, take her stuff inside and try not to destroy anything on the way."

That earned a few snickers immediately and Jeyten looked personally offended.

"We're not children."

Cas raised an eyebrow. "You're all children to me. Besides, one of you almost flipped a speeder twenty minutes ago."

"It was under control."

"The engine was smoking."

"That's how you know it's working."

Cas stared at him for a long moment. Then nodded. A few of the grandchildren laughed while Jeyten shook his head, unsuccessfully hiding a grin before continuing toward the house with the others carrying Sakadi's belongings.

---

Some hours later, the homestead had settled into a calmer rhythm. A few of the younger grandchildren had disappeared further into the valley on speeders while others lingered throughout the house talking over music and leftover food.

Cas now sat at the kitchen table with a drink in hand, evening light spilling softly through the nearby windows. For the first time since Sakadi's arrival, there was finally enough quiet to properly talk.

"Alright." A faint smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he glanced toward her. "What's really going on? You by any chance here because of that new Galactic Empire? Or... is it the Sith Covenant now? Can barely keep track these days."

Sakadi Marathi Sinvala

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Cas Tynen​

She had been grateful for the opportunity to wash away the dust of travel and collect herself. Journeys off-world had become increasingly rare in recent years, and traversing a galaxy fractured by war was no simple undertaking without a vessel of her own.

When Sakadi returned, she had exchanged her travel-worn attire for more formal robes of layered brown and white cloth, draped neatly across her slender frame.

Patiently, one by one, she distributed the gifts she had brought across the hills and through the misted valleys. Simple things, chosen carefully. Small toys for the youngest children. Delicate tynzo-crystal jewelry for the girls. For the boys, a trio of battered but functional PIP repair droids that immediately drew excited voices and arguing over who would name theirs first.

The warmth that spread through the household eased some unseen tension from her shoulders. Only after the children had scattered again did she seek out Cas. She found him in the kitchen.

The final gift rested in her hands. It was a small cubical box wrapped in rough paper that concealed its contents entirely. Sakadi placed it gently upon the table between them before taking the seat opposite him.

And then, for perhaps the first time since arriving, she avoided his gaze. Cas asked the obvious question eventually.

Why visit now?

The silence stretched long enough that the distant sounds of the grandchildren outside filtered clearly through the windows.

Sakadi drew in a slow breath. ~ I… am not entirely certain they are unrelated. ~ It was as close to an admission of uncertainty as she tended to allow herself. Sakadi sat down, her fingers folded neatly atop her lap.

~ The spirit of Caltin Vanagor visited me. Apparently, he fell during the last battle fought over Coruscant. ~ There was still disbelief hidden beneath the calmness of her projected voice. Not at his death, she had already mourned that, but at the fact he had returned to speak with her afterward. She did not know how much news truly reached Cas out here. Yet surely even these valleys had heard whispers of Coruscant.

Her lilac eyes lowered briefly.

~ He forced me to confront something I had spent years avoiding. ~ She hesitated. ~ I gave up, Cas. And perhaps part of me still wishes to remain surrendered. I do not believe myself fit to guide others as a Jedi any longer. Not after the Silver Jedi fractured beneath my watch. Not after… ~ For the first time since sitting down, she looked directly at him. ~ …what happened to you. ~

Regret lingered openly across her features now. How could someone claim to guide others toward the Light when so many beneath her care had suffered, broken, and fallen? The failures clung to her more stubbornly than any victory ever had.

~ Yet despite that… I cannot ignore what the galaxy is becoming. This is an era of wandering Knights now. Fractured Orders. Isolated enclaves. Small flames trying desperately not to be extinguished. ~ Her gaze drifted briefly toward the window, toward the distant hills beyond. ~ And the darkness grows bold in the absence of unity. The galaxy requires every blade willing to stand against it. ~ She finally released the breath she was holding.

~ But before I walk that path again… I must face what I left behind. I was the one who placed you upon the path of the Jedi. My teachings shaped your life. My judgment guided you there. And when everything collapsed… I failed you. ~ Her composure cracked only slightly, but enough to reveal the sincerity beneath it. ~ Before I go back out into that galaxy pretending to trust the Force’s will again, I need to hear it from you plainly. ~

Her hands, resting in her lap, tightened faintly together.

~ I need your permission to continue. Because if those closest to me believe I was wrong- if you believe I failed so completely that I should never guide another soul again, then I cannot trust myself either. ~

 

[Cas Tynen]

Cas' eyes drifted briefly toward the small wrapped box sitting between them on the table and curiosity flickered across his face for a moment. But, whatever Sakadi had brought him could wait. Right now, this was more important.


The mention of Caltin stirred old memories. Cas hadn't known the man particularly well during his years with the Silver Jedi, but he'd known enough. A giant of a man in every sense of the word. Stubborn. Gruff. The sort of person who always seemed slightly annoyed to be helping you while helping anyway. A good man.

The news of his death had reached even these valleys eventually, Mathieu had been the one to tell him. Cas' eyes lowered toward his cup.

"Yeah. Mat told me."

Silence followed as Sakadi continued, and he listened. To every doubt, every uncertainty, and every regret she'd carried across the decades. When she finally reached the part about him, about his fall, about her failure, a faint sympathetic sigh escaped him.

When Sakadi finished speaking, Cas didn't answer immediately. Instead, he stood from the table and crossed toward the counter. He retrieved another cup without a word, poured fresh caf into it and returned. Setting it down in front of her, he reclaimed his own seat. Only then did he speak.

"Sakadi." The old Kiffar shook his head lightly. "You have got to stop blaming yourself for what happened with Insatious. You gave me the tools. The guidance. The opportunities. But every choice I made was my own." He took a slow sip from his drink. "You're not responsible for me."

For a few moments he stared into the dark liquid before him, then a faint smile tugged at one corner of his mouth.

"I once told Yenna there was no such thing as a bad student. Only a bad teacher." The smile widened slightly. "I wasn't completely right there. Bad students definitely exist."

His gaze finally lifted back toward Sakadi.

"Besides, you helped bring me back." He scratched absentmindedly at his beard. "You. Zemira. Yenna. Mathieu. Even Elryn. (Even cleaned out most of my evil clones, thank you by the way). Karmic debt cleared as far as I'm concerned."

Cas leaned back in his chair then, eyes drifting toward the window and the darkening valley beyond. The galaxy was always a mess. Always on the verge of ending according to somebody.

He smiled again "The galaxy's a disaster right now. But when isn't it?" His eyes remained fixed on the distant hills. "It looked pretty bleak back during the Second Hyperspace War too. And with the Bryn." He shrugged. "Turned out alright."

It wasn't perfect, but the galaxy still moved. Then his expression softened slightly.

"But... I have grandkids out there now." His gaze drifted somewhere further away. "Training. Fighting. Probably getting dragged into whatever fresh disaster that's happening right now. And I won't lie....it scares me."

For all his growth, for all his peace, some fears never really left. He turned back toward her.

"So if I know you're out there?" A faint smile returned. "Watching their backs. Guiding them. Selfishly, I sleep a little easier."

Cas rubbed the back of his neck.

"So, what I'm saying is..." For a moment he searched for the words. "You don't really need my permission, Master." His smile became gentler. "You just need somebody to remind you that it wasn't your fault. And it never was."

The old Kiffar shook his head.

"So stop carrying that. The Jedi need you. You've seen more of this galaxy than most people ever will." A crooked grin appeared. "Well... most of it anyway." But then his eyes softened again. "Your presence out there would be invaluable."

Sakadi Marathi Sinvala

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Cas Tynen​

You're not responsible for me.

Bad students definitely exist.

Her mind raced, thoughts colliding and shattering like glass. They all circled around the same question.

You blame yourself, don’t you?

She clutched the edges of her seat, holding on for dear life as her heart shattered in silence. Oh Cas. She’d blamed herself. Completely blind to the truth that, perhaps, everyone who had been involved blamed themselves.

~ About that. ~ Sakadi interjected, when he mentioned the clones. ~ I said it’s a gift, but it’s a bit too morbid for a gift, perhaps. I just figured you might’ve wanted it back. ~

Hunting down individual clones hadn’t gotten them anywhere. Instead, Xan and she had targeted Insatious’ hidden facilities over the years. One of them had held it, to their surprise.

~ Best not show it to the young ones. Although it did age quite well if you ask me. ~ She looked satisfied – no, amused – at that.

It was a brief reprieve from the harder subjects they discussed. Avoidance of what Cas adressed so directly.

When wasn’t the galaxy a mess?

Caltin had said the same thing. Pointed out that he too, had lived through and failed at what she had.

~ But what about accountability! ~ Her hands trembled, fingers curling into fists. ~ We stubbornly stood up and tried down the same path again. Where has that led us? The Core fell again, and the Sith have never been more powerful.” Sakadi took a deep breath, her chest tightening as she forced herself to stay composed despite the sadness and anger gnawing at her. Her ears – flattened against her head – betrayed that the emotions still swirled inside. ”The forces of good act like unruly children. And I haven’t the mind, energy, nor authority to set them straight.” She shook her head, disbelievingly.

Cas brought up his grandchildren, in that same lax but confident tone. There was an underlying worry, however, that held her attention.

It scares me

She didn’t need to search his eyes to sense it was true. The grandchildren brought him as much concern as they did joy.

Sakadi stared out the window, lost in thought, her eyes glazed over as though she were a million miles away.

You don't really need my permission.

Your presence out there would be invaluable.

Her eyes welled up with tears she refused to let fall. ~ Thank you, Cas. ~ She blinked them away. ~ Have you considered stepping up yourself? There are many young and brash Knights that could benefit from your wisdom. ~