Private Of Whispers & Lies

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Arris Windrun //:
//: Attire //:

The return to Eshan was typical. She was welcomed and given the duties she had been assigned while she was gone. Quinn had the routine down, her Council far more capable than she could have expected, yet something lingered.

Her mind drifted back to the Casino. Quinn had been excited for the outing. Before that, however, she had locked herself away in her room, unwilling to see anyone beyond a select few. Thankfully, the Council had been able to shoulder the day-to-day responsibilities until she found enough of herself to return to her duties.

Even then, she had needed the constant reminder that she couldn't hide away forever. A broken heart deserved time to mend... but a Queen was expected to endure far worse than heartbreak.

The winds were quiet, and the sun cascaded along the spires of Eshan City. Life was ordinary for the planet, protected not only by their Queen, but also her connections. The Mandalorians and the Sith quietly stood at the ready to protect their appointed royal.

Quinn felt uneasy with that thought; she wondered if she had been the chosen one to take the throne years ago, if that power would still linger. Or would she be dead, long assassinated by the Jedi?

Rolling her eyes, Quinn decided to focus her mind elsewhere, along with a change of scenery. Standing, she moved from the throne room and, with a wave of her hand, dismissed the advisors that had gathered for a meeting. They could sense just from the woman's stature that something was bothering her. It had been some time since they had dealt with the follies of a young Queen, but the old women were used to this — they would wait.

Quinn moved along the hallways, heading towards the vast garden that at night, when the moon was high, illuminated everything. Quinn stood at the center of the spiraling flowerbeds; she inhaled the cool mountain air. She would never grow tired of this feeling, the freedom she could taste that made Eshan home.

Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander back to the Casino, feeling the inklings of familiarity at the edge of her consciousness. She exhaled softly as her memories mulled over the small details. Even now, she could still feel pieces of her companion that day.

She wondered if it was a side effect of the connection.

The slower she breathed, the more vivid the memory became. She could still feel the warmth, even if artificial.

Abregado-rae

Quinn felt it, the darkness she had entrusted to Arris. It lingered within the woman, a fragment of the Phobis Core that answered only because Quinn had willed it to.

They were still weightless, drifting where they had held their ground against the Mandalorians. Wreckage and debris spun slowly through the void of the shattered Casino. Every so often, flashes of the emergency lighting washed across areas, illuminating the chaos that had just ensued.

Quinn remembered, for a long time watching her, simply watching Arris.

"...You've had your fun," She murmured, her breath still uneven from the fight.

Slowly, she pushed herself forward with the smallest movement, gliding effortlessly towards Arris. As she reached her, Quinn's fingers found the front of the woman's suit first. Gentle hands smoothed absentmindedly over the surprisingly soft fabric, before curling gently around the lapels. It was enough to steady them as they drifted among the chaos.

Only then did Quinn raise her other hand…

Cool fingertips brushed across Arris's cheek before settling there. Her thumb traced slowly along her cheek, brushing away a streak of soot that had found its way across pale synthetic skin. Quinn lingered, quietly studying the woman as though making sure she was still there, still Arris.

The fight was over… for now.

For all the horrors Quinn carried within her, she held Arris as though she were something precious.

Without another word, Quinn's hand slipped back to the Android's collar. Her grip tight, holding Arris still. Their bodies floated close, separated by little more than a shared breath.

The Force answered first.

Fragments of darkness hidden within Arris stirred, recognizing the one who had placed it there.

Quinn leaned in. Their lips met in a slow, lingering kiss. There was nothing hurried about it; it wasn't rushed or desperate; it just was. The kiss became the bridge through which the Phobis Core reached, the darkness unwinding itself from Arris in thin ribbons only the Force could perceive.

Her kiss deepened as Quinn drew a measured breath. The power obeyed.

The strain split the edge of her lip; a single bead of crimson drifted. Quietly she cursed the droplet, letting the kiss carry it onward. It brushed against Arris's tongue; the faint taste of iron lingered only for a heartbeat, but the quiet burn of the Dathomirian Witch's Bloodtrail lingered steadily. It faded as well, with the last strands of darkness slipped free, returning to Quinn.

The hunger settled.

Satisfied.

Quinn was the first to pull away, only by inches. Her hand had found its place against Arris's cheek at some point of the kiss, while the other rested against the front of her suit. Fingertips idly smoothed a wrinkle from the fabric without thinking, their foreheads nearly touching as hazel eyes searched the Android's face.

"There…" Quinn whispered, leaning forward so that the words would caress the woman's ear once more.

A faint smile found the corner of her lips.

"That belongs to me…"

Only then did Quinn finally let go, her fingers slipping reluctantly from Arris's suit before they drifted apart once more, leaving behind only the warmth of her touch and the memory of the kiss…

Quinn covered her mouth as she stared at the blooming roses in the garden. Her face was touched with the same crimson as the flowers.

"Arris won't remember any of that…"

 

[Arris Windrun]

Quinn Varanin
​

Everyone had their own memories of the same event. In a way, it's what allowed an experience to live on multiple times over - a fracture in the glass of life, forming a spiderweb that uniquely identified the person. Unique identity, at least in the case of Arris Windrun, was an act of beautiful fragility. Violent, too. Every crack was sharp around the edges, honed perfectly to cut you if you dared to reach out and read the fractures with your fingertips.

Abregado-rae... Now that's where the blood really began to trickle down the lines.

Arris remembered feeling excited by the fight; the murder, the mayhem. And somewhere along the way, she was so lost in her own self-satisfaction that she wanted everything.

When Quinn kissed her. When Quinn reclaimed the power that rightfully was hers...

Arris leaned a little closer, as if nature deigned that their lips were never meant to be parted. It took her a second to realize Quinn had pulled away. Her eyes opened slowly, but there was still that fire in them. That bloodlust. That intoxication that came from the gift Quinn gave her, and quickly it felt as if her lens on life had changed once the power was gone... But not the exhilaration. No, that was Arris Windrun. The source of the addiction did not change the fact that she was an addict.

In the moments afterwards, she was confused. The memories that replayed felt like they belonged to someone else. Or maybe were manufactured by her own, broken psyche. It wouldn't have been the first time, she thought.

Her hand went up to mirror the ghost of Quinn's touch that somehow lingered on her cheek. She could still the aftermath of that power being taken back from inside her. There was a sort of hangover, too. As if her Dark Side now thirsted for something it never knew it needed before. Fuck.

She walked through the garden until the path took her to where Quinn Varanin pondered. If the jingle of her gunbelt didn't give Arris away, then it was likely her presence in the Force, which the cyborg was terrible at hiding. Still, she announced herself. Softly.

"Remember what?"

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Arris Windrun //:

Quinn had felt the cyborg draw closer; she could pinpoint her anywhere on the planet. It wasn't just the budding connection; she could feel the core pulsing, pulling towards where it was wanted. Unlike Arris, Quinn often denied the device control. It had a freedom with Arris; it clawed and craved to return.

This was a reaction that she had never felt before. As Arris spoke, Quinn's breath caught quietly in her throat. As much as she felt the woman, she didn't realize how close she had gotten. All of the young Queen's senses were focused on the brief memory, the one that she had hoped faded into the background of the chaotic life the woman behind her lived.

Turning, Quinn folded her hands behind her, a smile spreading gently across her face.

"Nothing important," she answered and turned her attention back to the roses.

They bloomed here, only in the quiet of the afternoon. Quinn let the silence linger for a moment as she reached for one of the buds that hadn't bloomed yet. She always had a soft spot for the ones that were late, mostly because of their extra time — they were often the most beautiful.

"Has Eshan treated you well so far, Arris?" She continued to smile, not turning to look at the HRD she had found herself developing some semblance of affection for.

Quinn pondered if it was her own feelings, or if the darkness she had shared with the Triumvient was influencing her. Either way, Arris had proven herself time and again to be necessary. Mercy also seemed to value the woman.

"So what's brought you so far from Coruscant?" She asked another question, "Tired of the duracrete, or did you just miss me?"

Slowly, Quinn guided her index finger carefully, caressing the curve of the rosebud. The Force influenced her through the touch, and slowly the flower bloomed, its crimson color bleeding, leaving only white petals and a delicate aroma.

 

[Arris Windrun]

Quinn Varanin
​

Arris shoved her hands into her pockets, noting the woman's gentle smile.

When Quinn turned back to the flowers, Arris slowly approached, half-circling to increase the distance it would take. But how has Eshan been treating her? Arris mulled it over, chuckling under her breath.

"Quieter than what I'm used to. Beautiful, too. Reminds me a little of my homeworld... At least the places outside of the city."

Finally, Arris stopped just a few feet behind the Echani. The rose - and Quinn's finger - caught her eye; the way the flower bloomed at the touch of the Force, brilliant color fading into a ghostly white. Was that what happened on Abregado-rae, right near the end?

The cyborg exhaled, realizing she hadn't answered the woman's question. "I came to apologize," she said.

Rather than leaving the answer to linger too long, Arris continued.

"I..." Okay. Maybe it was harder for her than she would have liked. "I feel like I did something wrong. Maybe I offended you... or maybe you're still mad because I shot you."

Arris grimaced, stopping herself right there for a second. One hand left her pocket to rub her brow and brush a few strands of dark hair that fell over her right eye.

"Look - can you turn around and face me? I know I'm hardly as interesting as your roses." She gestured to the flowers. "But it sure helps me talk when we're eye-to-eye."

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Arris Windrun //:

Quinn watched the flowers for a bit longer as she listened to Arris speak. The bravado she had grown to know from the HRD was gone. She struggled to do a simple task: answering a question. It was almost endearing how she struggled and fumbled over some of her words.

Before Quinn could answer, Arris' request made itself known. Quinn leaned away from the flowers, her mind trying to understand the need to look at someone. Arris wasn't an Echani; reading body language or facial expressions wasn't necessary for her to communicate.

Still, Quinn obliged.

Slowly turning, Quinn brushed back stray strands of soft ashen hair from her face. The lingering color was the blush she had suffered from when she thought quietly about what had happened between them. She had been trying to hide it, to keep Arris from noticing something so innocent.

But affections of the heart and mind were often twisted against the young Queen.

"My apologies." She smiled, her eyes meeting the cyborgs. "At times I find it easier for others to talk to me if I become part of the scenery," she motioned slightly to the garden.

She let the moment settle before speaking again.

"I also disagree with what you're saying. While my flowers are interesting, Arris — you're far more intriguing." Another gentle smile as she did her best not to hide her attention among the planets. They were a beautiful distraction, something the young Queen felt a kinship with.

"Though, I don't understand what you're trying to say?" Quinn tilted her head slightly.

"Hate you? Did something wrong?" her voice repeated, as she tried to fully understand the woman in front of her. There was a soft, breathless chuckle that escaped the Echani.

"You came all this way to tell me, or rather ask me? Arris, you could have easily called; I would have answered… but I appreciate having you close."

She stepped forward, closing the distance between them with her full attention now on Arris.

"Why are you feeling this way?"

 

[Arris Windrun]

Quinn Varanin
​

She smiled... slightly... when Quinn turned to face her. But the cyborg's eyes were empty. Hard to say if that was because they were literally lifeless, or if it was a mirror of the woman's internal world.

Something about the way Quinn described it - becoming part of the scenery - struck Arris as relatable. In many ways, that was her nature in the Covenant. To be part of the periphery.

Her eyes rolled a little when Quinn called her intriguing, and her smile stretched a touch wider.

It faded, however, when the Echani joined her on the subject.

When the distance between them closed, Arris nearly moved on her back foot. It was instinctive, and an Echani of all people would notice the fight-or-flight in the cyborg. She may've been metal, fiber, and synthflesh on the surface, but deep inside was still the organic mind of a vulnerable woman. A person with flaws, feelings, and instincts.

But Quinn was right.

This could've just been a holocall.

But...

"I wanted to do this in person."

Hell, Arris thought to herself. Why was it so hard to talk?

She grimaced visibly, turning her eyes down a little and off to the side. Her unpocketed hand then rubbed the back of her neck.

Fuck it. She was a gambler at heart. Sometimes you just play the hand and go all in. That made everything easier for Arris, even if it was usually stupid of her.

"You were cold to me on Desevro. You yelled at me on Abregado-rae - called me a pervert and a droid!" She threw her other hand out of pocket to join the other in emoting. "And then you kissed me, filled me with whatever that is... That thing you fed me... I felt it on Humbarine and Coruscant, too."

Arris took another step closer and sighed. "Look... Are you toying with me? Trying to get back? Cuz I'll accept anything at this point. You can rip me to pieces. Toss me out of a window. Hell!" She drew her revolver, offering it to Quinn with the barrel pointed at her own chest.

"You wanna shoot me?"

There - right there - fire in Windrun's eyes.

Then, her voice a touch lower. "Am I being an idiot?" She asked. "Then call me out."

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Arris Windrun //:

Quinn was quiet as she let Arris speak. She could see it all even if Arris didn't want her to. Each synthetic muscle, each twitch of her face, all of it steaming from who she was as a human underneath all the cybernetics. Quinn didn't understand the need to be something so artificial. But the Force still breathed life into her, and while she didn't understand — she understood enough.

Arris was… animated.

More than she had expected. Too many times before this Arris had an air of stoicism, never straying from the ruthless criminal she often tried to portray. Within the Black Sun, she was Mauve's trusted bodyguard, but even then, when things turned upside down — Arris betrayed her.

Would the same fate eventually befall Quinn? Was Arris someone she should be wary of?

Quinn tilted her head as she examined the woman who continued to ramble, trying to figure out the game that the Echani was playing. It was a situation that made it plain Arris didn't know what to do next. What satisfied Quinn? What would give Arris the answer to the questions she asked?

There were no answers, because Quinn herself didn't know them either. But unlike Arris, there was an air of calm about the Echani. She waited till Arris finished with her own revolver drawn and pointing at herself. While Quinn struggled with self-preservation at times, it seemed Arris lacked the entire notion of it.

Quinn watched, her eyes meeting Arris's, and finally the fire that she had seen in them before was back. This made the young Queen question everything once more. Her eyebrow rose as she reached for the gun, fingers caressing gently against the hand that held it.

"Shoot you?" She finally spoke as she looked at the revolver and then pointed it back at Arris, the barrel pressed just over her heart. Shooting the woman would give her a sense of revenge; she had been shot by Arris. Who also had shot Mauve and nearly killed the woman.

"Would it make you feel better?" Quinn raised a brow as she tried to comprehend. Perhaps this was an eye for an eye, something that the Covenant did to each other?

Quinn lowered the gun and handed it back.

"It wouldn't change anything or fix it." She shrugged and looked back at her flowers for a moment.

Silence hung between them as she quietly used the Force to let calm air pour from her. It was quiet and something very different from the dark side that she often had given Arris.

"I was cold on Deservo because I didn't know how to take you or understand you. Abregado-rae, I called you a pervert because I didn't want you to look up my skirt." Quinn frowned as she looked back to Arris.

"You tricked me, I thought we were going to have fun…" Her voice trailed for a moment; it was apparent she was still hurt at the realization it was just to get her into a fight.

"I was looking forward to it… I just had my heart broken."

Sighing, the kiss finally came up, and Quinn looked back to Arris, remembering the woman's request.

"I kissed you because I don't know how to transfer it without physical touch or having previously been…" Quinn pursed her lips tightly together as she tried to figure out how to word this better.

"Intimate in a sense? I can hand it off to Mercy easily. Still, I've only connected with you when I didn't have any control, so for me to control it, I had to get close to you, to kiss you, to have that physical contact."

Quinn groaned, realizing how everything sounded, and her eyes avoided Arris's.

"You're being an idiot…" the Echani Queen finished as she pouted now, showing just how young she was.

Compared to Arris, the girl was ten years her junior; furthermore, she was nearly half Mercy's age. She had grown up protected by Srina and sheltered from the rest of the galaxy by the Blackwall.

Everything was new and exciting.

"I'm sorry I kissed you." She bit her lip as she looked towards the brunette from the corner of her eye.

"Am I to assume you didn't like it?"

 

[Arris Windrun]

Quinn Varanin
​

Arris kept her eyes on Quinn's, even when the barrel of her own gun was pressed against her own heart.

'Would it make you feel better?'

Yes.

Though she didn't say it.

The cyborg took the weapon back and spun it before dropping it back into the holster.

Quinn's confession that followed - her openness - was the last thing Arris expected. She felt so disarmed by the Echani's words, and stuffed her hands back into her pockets, just because she didn't know what better to do with them.

The thought that Quinn was worried she might look up her skirt caused Arris to roll her eyes. Really?! She thought; the expression said as much, too. But Quinn was right. Arris did trick her, and Arris never considered that Quinn might've genuinely wanted to have fun with her.

Then came the explanation of her power. So the intimacy wasn't a game? It was just what Quinn knew? Now that struck close to home. The cyborg wondered if the Echani, in her own way, was just someone stuck in a world of routines. That things didn't work unless they were done a certain way, and everything else was just a confusing mess.

When Quinn's eyes avoided hers, Arris mirrored it with her own shyness, finding a particular stone along the pathway to focus on.

'You're being an idiot...'

Arris chuckled dryly and smiled sadly.

"No," she began after Quinn's apology and question. "I mean..." Her fist was starting to grind through the fabric of her pocket. That's how nervous she was. "I don't know." She groaned a little and took a step forward, trying to close the distance between them until she was off to Quinn's side, but not facing her.

"I've been checked out of intimacy for a long time, okay? Slow burn. Quick ignite. One fun night. All of it. And I don't know how you work, or what you want from me. So, yeah, when you kissed me, I was fuckin' scared!" She admitted.

"Glamor and high-stakes seduction ain't for me," she said. One hand left the pocket again. She reached out to gently cup one of the roses with a stem trapped between two fingers. "I'm more of a getting drunk off cheap beer together on some city rooftop type of girl."

Arris plucked the rose and said her next piece with unbendable conviction.

"I'm a damn awful loser."

She turned to Quinn, offering the flower. "So - are we good?"

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Arris Windrun //:

Quinn looked at the flower, seeing as it was from her own garden. She smiled, though, understanding it as the cyborg's way of trying. Quinn had remained quiet through Arris' explanation, understanding most of it, but in a sense also not. Intimacy was woven into her core; even if it was non-romantic, the closeness of individuals through touch was a way of communicating.

It was how she was raised; one touch can express thousands of emotions without words. Sometimes that was clearer than words themselves. But Quinn couldn't fault Arris for that, especially with the explanation of her being checked out. Quinn took the flower and smiled. She brought it softly to her nose and took in its gentle scent. For some reason, it melded quite well with the tobacco and soot scent that Arris brought with her.

"We're good." She nodded, the flower coming out to boop Arris on the nose. Taking it back, she kept it close and decided she would cherish it, even if it was a gift stolen from her own stock.

Her words about being a loser gently reminded Quinn of someone else. Someone who had softly and as gently as she could destroyed the Echani's heart. Despite the intimacy she craved and being wanted and loved, Quinn shied away from it. The physical was a need she couldn't quell, but emotionally…

She could protect herself the best she could.

"Arris, I don't want something specific from you."

I do, but I won't ask for it.

She kept her attention on Arris despite wanting to return to minding the flowers. It was easier for her to do so, especially if she needed to be vulnerable. But Arris was doing her best, and Quinn owed her that much.

"I can't say I understand being checked out of intimacy since it can mean so many things, but as for what I shared with you…" She remembered she had already mentioned it, but shrugged and reiterated.

"It's the only way I know how to do it, so if you want it again, I'll have to kiss you again." She chuckled, trying to be lighthearted with her words.

"At least now you're aware."

Quinn wondered what she really wanted; she enjoyed the kiss, and she enjoyed being close to someone again like that. While Arris was never someone she thought of when she would let her mind wander, she found herself being more curious, and maybe she would let herself daydream about the cyborg.

"I enjoy kissing you," Quinn said, the blush returning to her pale features. Her eyes looked away from Arris as she decided to try her luck with the Triumvir.

"We could do it again, maybe after getting drunk off some cheap beer on a rooftop? I've never done that before." Finally, her gaze met Arris's.

"But I'd like my first time to be with you."

 

[Arris Windrun]

Quinn Varanin
​

Arris wrinkled her nose in surprise when Quinn booped her with the flower.

She didn't buy for a minute that Quinn wasn't looking for anything specific, but she didn't interject. Rather, she folded her hands behind her back and kept listening.

Quinn's suggestion that they ought to give Windrun's version of intimacy a try earned a chuckle from Arris. Though what followed stole the humor, and left Arris with something thoughtful instead.

"Yeah..." She replied quietly. Unsure how to answer that.

It was too early for her to determine what kind of person Quinn was, but so far, she was nothing like the cyborg had imagined. More approachable than first let on. Understanding, too. But the thought of sharing that kind of moment scared her.

"If that's how it works, then that's how it works. As long as we're on the same page." Arris sighed a little. "If... If you need access to me that way, then that's okay. But..."

She trailed off for a moment, practically chewing the inside of her cheek in thought.

"I'm really glad we're good."

Her eyes ventured around the garden again. "Don't take this the wrong way... Your home is beautiful."

She looked at Quinn. "Very beautiful-

"But I'm really out of my element. I feel like this place is going to pick me apart."

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Arris Windrun //:

Quinn looked away; she let Arris have a moment so she wouldn't feel like Quinn was examining her. She wondered whether that kind of contact, even without touching, made the Cyborg uncomfortable. Quinn knew there were things she should hate about Windrun, but right now, after the Casino, she found it difficult. A part of her seemed to rationalize everything.

Even though Arris shot her, shot someone she cared for at one time — Arris had become somewhat of a constant. Mercy trusted her, so there was nothing beyond circumstance that prevented Quinn from doing the same.

Still, there was a part of her that was still upset about the Casino being a ruse. Her heart still ached, and right now she wanted Arris to be there, be something. But that wasn't fair to the woman; she couldn't drag her into this mess that was Quinn Varanin.

"Need?" Quinn's eyes wandered back to Arris as she questioned it. She tried to read between the lines to see what it really meant. Every little movement spoke volumes to the Echani.

But she did nothing.

"I'm glad too." Quinn smiled softly as she smelled the flower again. Her smile widened as Arris spoke about the home. The compliment was taken, but she wished Arris wasn't speaking about her home, but that was too much.

She knew she'd never get anything like that from Arris.

Don't want too much…

Never want too much…

Don't dream…

Never dream too big…

You'll only find disappointment… ​

Quinn let her mind muse for a moment, just one moment. Her mind thought quietly back to the kiss, not the first, but the one that came after. Arris chased; she wanted it, wanted to keep that piece of Quinn.

Blinking quickly, Quinn nodded, erasing the gentleness of the kiss that ghosted her lips.

"It really is, quite beautiful." She looked away.

"I can show you more of it, if you want?" A gentle laugh escaped her throat, breathless.

"I promise you'll be okay; you're safe…"

"With me." ​