Private Of Rest & Reconcile

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Reina Daival //:
//: Eshan //:
//: Attire //:

The hum of the palace started to quiet. Business was winding down, and the meetings Quinn had been dragged to were finally ending. Everything, even with the Mandalorian oversight, was all so much. A part of her wondered if this was why Noelle didn't push, didn't fight for the throne.

Was she just tired of it all? Between them, people often mistook Quinn for the weaker sibling. She was quiet and often forgotten. If people weren't reminded that their Queen Noelle was a twin, Quinn would have been written out of history.

It was a thought that often haunted the new Queen. She often could see the looks on the advisers' faces; they respected her because she was wanted, but only in name. Though thankfully, as time went on, they realized her ambition was for Eshan, not as a Sith, but as their Queen in her birthright.

She was escorted to the palace's private quarters. Here, no one was allowed unless Quinn deemed them to be. She could relax, be herself, and function as just Quinn — without anyone demanding anything of her. She entered her large room with a desk in the foyer. Its pristine woodwork reflected the craftsmanship of its maker, and upon it rested a lightsaber. One that had been sworn to her, not only by blade, but by life as well.

Quinn walked by the desk, her fingertips carefully caressing the hilt of the blade. Her memories were fond of the woman who had given it to her, though after seeing the fight in that pit, Quinn wished Reina still held the blade close. Either way, she knew her paramour would be fine without.

She had seen her fight and could still feel her breath in the Force. A small comfort for long days like this. Though Quinn felt the Ronin close. A small smile curled on her lips. Tonight, she might have a visitor, and the long day would not be so bad.

"I'll be fine." She called out to the palace guards, and they knew when to leave their young Queen alone. Everyone left, and Quinn waited for the woman to arrive. Quinn watched the stars above Eshan, wondering which one Reina was coming from.

 

[Reina Daival]

Tag: Quinn Varanin
Outfit


The Galaxy was a vast open space of stress. Pressure. All of it weighing down on Reina. Bearing down on her to the point that it was getting close to her breaking point. There was only so much she could carry, as much as she tried to push herself to her breaking point. What was she going through all of it for? The pain. The frustration. The scars. It was simply really. Because of Her. The one Reina was flying off to see, having left all of her jobs behind for now. She was no mercenary tonight, no Sith, nor Mandalorian. Reina was just herself. A woman who needed her lover. Needed a shoulder to cry into. Someone that Reina trusted.

She was battered and bruised, spiritually and physically. Even as she brought her shuttle down into the hanger and met with some of the guards of the Palace, raising her hand lazily in greeting. She recognised a few of them from when she had worked security. Much simpler times.

"Hey. I believe the Queen is expecting me."

A forced smile flicked on her face, unable to quite meet her eyes. Reina could feel Quinn, rather faintly through the Force. Too faint for Reina's liking, but she knew how the Queen preferred to keep her presence small in the Force. As much as she wanted to be embraced in the sensation, it was never something she'd push onto her.

And so she was lead through the Palace, her thoughts swirling in her mind. There was a lot she needed to let off her chest. Much she wanted to talk about. But she didn't want to drop it all in Quinn's lap. The life of a Queen was surely stressful itself. She'd need to see how Quinn was doing first before she worried about her own issues.

She was left alone to head into the private quarters, stepping through the corridor, as she adjusted one of her bandages. They were becoming far more common for her in recent days. Even when she was in her more self-destructive phase, Reina hadn't been as hurt as she had been recently. Yet as soon as she came across Quinn, all of that pain was somewhat lifted. Replaced by a warmth as Reina's steps increased in speed, in intent as she strode over towards the Echani, holding her arms out to wrap them around her in a tight embrace.

"I've missed you."

Even if they had seen each other recently, even if they might have talked recently, every moment they were apart, Reina missed Quinn deeply. Every time she went out to do some kind of task, or learn something, it felt as if she was leaving a part of herself behind, and every time they reunited, it was like she was whole once again.

​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Reina Daival //:

The embrace was expected. She had learned that Reina showed her affections as well as an Echani. Touch was the easiest form of communication for her; she could feel the warmth, the care — all of it. As easily as Reina drew the Echani in, Quinn leaned into the embrace. She was unaware how much she had needed it, just to feel like a person again.

Her arms wrapped carefully around Reina, her hands resting on the back of the woman's neck, fingers threading through the fine hairs at her nape. Quinn pulled away slightly, her smile lingering, "I've missed you too." She paused, seeing the bandages, the cuts, and the bruises. For a former Jedi, the woman didn't heal as well as she should.

"You've been busy," Her voice was quiet as she drew herself in closer, hands sliding to the front of the Ronin's tunic. "You've been away from me too long — you've forgotten your manners," Quinn smirked as she looked up, for once not matching close to Reina's height as she usually did in her heels.

"Saying you miss me, embracing me, yet not greeting me with a kiss?"

Quinn teased as she tutted her tongue against the roof of her mouth playfully. Not letting Reina 'fix' the transgression, she pulled the woman closer, pressing their lips together. It lingered, gentle at first, but slowly deeper as Quinn held fast the wayward Ronin against her. When she had her fill of Reina, she softened her grip and let her step back.

"You often come back in such terrible shape," Quinn frowned as her fingers lightly touched the wounds she could see. Whatever Reina had gotten into, things weren't looking good.

"I remember the um…" she took a minute to remember, "the Verd'gotn, you fought well… but did you not let yourself rest? Recover?"

Warmth would bleed from her hand as she ran her thumb gently to heal the superficial wounds on the woman's face.

"What trouble have you gotten yourself into?"

 

[Reina Daival]

Tag: Quinn Varanin
Outfit


Reina nestled her head against Quinn's shoulder, enjoying the warmth as much as she could. Once again making sure to take as much as she could in to memory, as if it would be her last moment. It was like Kito had told Reina. You never know when your last moment would be, and so Reina was treasuring every last second she spent with Quinn. A slight smile flicked upon her lips as Quinn said she had missed the Siren as well. She had chosen to believe it. If she could believe anyone in this Galaxy, she chose to believe in what Quinn told her.

"I've been working hard to prove myself. To be recognised."

It was one of the things she desired the most. To be respected. Recognised. Loved. And there was a faint part of her that believed that if people wouldn't love her, Fear would be more than enough. But that thought was wiped from her mind as Quinn kissed her. Reina leaning into the kiss as much as Quinn did, holding tightly onto the Echani's shoulders as she closed her eyes for a moment. Letting herself drift off into the kiss, the pain, the weight all floating away into nothing...until it came drifting back as Quinn pulled away. As the Echani touched at the wounds, Reina's gaze drifted away, wincing ever so slightly when Quinn's fingers would trail across the Siren's shoulder. The wound had started to heal there, but it still burnt as if it was brand new...

"I'm...a fighter. I take hits and I get back up. It's what I do best...I thought I was a defender...A protector...but I'm far from that."

She leaned into the touch of Quinn's thumb, the warmth of the healing as the various cuts and marks healed on her face. Biting her lip in contemplation as dozens of thoughts spiralled through her mind.

"...I am resting. Here, with you. Now. It's just...when we're apart...I feel like I'm not good enough. I need to work harder. Push harder. You deserve the best me that I can be."

The Ersansyr placed her forehead against Quinn's for a moment, raising her hand to hold the back of Quinn's, before closing her eyes as she wished she could just show the Echani what was going through her mind. Reina didn't want to use her words. Her voice, whilst still beautiful, was hoarse. It was sore for her to speak. And then Quinn asked it. What trouble Reina had gotten herself into, and her mind instantly went back to a short time ago...The image of Kito's face flashing in the Siren's mind.

"I...I...Had...to...fight a friend. A Jedi...I was doing a job for the Covenant...when their station came under attack...I...scratched her. Across the face...I'm not sure if I've scarred her..."

Tears slowly began to stream down her face. No. No. This wasn't what she wanted. Reina wanted to see how Quinn was doing first. But she couldn't hold back the flood gate once it began.

"I'm an awful friend."​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Reina Daival //:

Quinn's face softened. She listened to Reina and became the one person she needed right now. The problems Quinn faced felt small compared to the woman in front of her. Even if they were personal, they meant the world to both of them. Quinn softly hushed the woman's tears, wanting her to not strain herself. In her eyes, Reina was all the things she wanted, but seemingly couldn't see them herself.

"You know you don't have to do that," Quinn spoke softly as she watched each unspoken word and action play out in front of her.

She had hoped that this homecoming wouldn't be as deeply emotional as this — especially with how much Reina wanted to appear strong. Another gentle brush of the Queen's fingertips against the copper hair that clung so tightly to the girl's forehead. She wanted to see her face, despite the Siren's desire to hide it.

"Reina, you've done a lot to be recognized, and you're strong. You're a fighter and a defender. You change, pivot when you need to." Quinn kissed the woman's forehead gently.

"Not many can do that."

Quinn let her hands fall, caressing the Ronin's arms as she continued to listen. To fight a friend, a friend that was on the side you once were on… it was a situation that Quinn had no experience in. She had always been where she was; friends never stayed long enough to betray her. She was at a complete loss on how to comfort Reina in this matter.

Still, she listened and guided the woman towards the chaise near the windows. Sitting, she pulled Reina to her and let the woman find comfort in her touch.

"Scratched her?" It took Quinn a moment to recall Reina's unique abilities. Scarring the face of someone that you were supposed to be friends with felt intimate. It means the fight was close. Quinn looked over Reina as she continued to speak and noticed the wound in her shoulder. Frowning, Quinn reached forward and began to let the warmth of the Force begin to etch skin.

She wasn't like a Jedi; it wasn't a pleasant feeling, but she could ease the pain another way. As the healing took place, Quinn would soften the pain through the Force, pulling it towards her. Her jaw would tighten as she endured.

She left Reina in a better state than before, but this was as much as the Echani could handle right now. The same hand cupped Reina's face as she forced the woman to look up.

"You're not an awful friend." Quinn shook her head, "Sometimes the Force brings people into our lives to teach us something. Maybe this friend was meant to test you — to see how much resolve you've managed…" She leaned in and brushed her lips against the Siren's gently. Her lips moved, trailing along Reina's chin and jaw till she breathed softly against the shell of the woman's ear.

"You are good enough," she whispered, her face nuzzling gently against the Siren.

"You kept your promise, and you continue to keep your promise. You always return to me, you're neither early nor late… just right on time when I need you."

Quinn smiled softly as she forced her way into the Ronin's arms; she wanted to feel Reina, almost to make sure she had completely made it back. More kisses peppered the woman's face as she held her.

"Why are you concerned about this friend? If she was important… if she valued you — she wouldn't have fought you?"

 

[Reina Daival]

Tag: Quinn Varanin
Outfit


"I need to be someone. I need to change something about myself. So you won't leave me. Like everyone I've cared for has..."

It was a fear Reina had. Everyone always left her. Everest. Valery. Even her own master in a way. People who were there for her, had promised to be there for her and now they were gone. It was because of that Reina so truly desired Quinn's embrace. She didn't want to lose the women, even as the growing part inside of her, the growing negativity and darkness only insisted that it was a matter of time unless Reina made herself into someone important. Unless she made herself powerful...

"Yes...I...I couldn't bring myself...to try and kill her...I lashed out with whatever I could...It feels like her blood is still on my hands..."

She had done her best to scrub her hands clean. Even after her nails had went back to normal, the Siren felt as if the blood was caked under her nails, never to leave. A permanent stain on her character. It was at that when she found herself feeling...better. Not in an emotional manner but physically. She could feel the wound healing somewhat, but Reina reached her hand up to grab Quinn's jaw, firmly but in a way to cause any pain as she lifted her gaze to look up towards Quinn. The redhead wanted to tell her to stop. She didn't want to share her pain with Quinn...but that was part of what it meant to be in a relationship. You shared pain with each other. You helped the other in their time of need, and Reina needed Quinn. Every single kiss making her hold the Echani tighter and tighter, to make sure she was actually here. That it wasn't some kind of dream.

"Because she's like me. She's...what I could have been. The fire that burns inside of her. That's what I had when I first joined the Jedi...but then that fire started to go out inside of me. No-one had believed in me. The people I had let close manipulated me. Break me. But...she doesn't let that happen. She fights. She never gave up...like I tried to."

Her gaze moved down to the floor for a moment. Reina knew she had told Quinn about the moment she tried to take her own life, to stop herself from being captured by Virelia. It hadn't worked. It felt like such a long time ago. But the one thing she knew was that if that situation was to repeat itself, she wouldn't have given up the way she had. In that moment, she had felt as if she had nothing to fight for. Nowhere to go. But now? She did have somewhere to go. Something to fight for. Someone who needed her. Dozens of thoughts rushed through her mind, as she brought her eyes up to look into Quinn's.

"...The fight made me realise one thing however. There are some things that should be said, and not kept as a secret...Out of fears, or insecurities."

Reina raised her hand gently to Quinn's chin, her thumb and index finger gently holding on as Reina was pushing herself through the nerves screaming in her head. Fighting through the rushing heartbeat beneath her chest as she took in a deep breath.

"I love you, Quinn Varanin."

And with that, she brought her face closer to bring her lips against Quinn's, pouring in as much of herself as she could whilst keeping one arm wrapped around the Echani, holding Quinn against her. To both tell her in the language of the Ersansyr with her voice, and through the language of the Echani with her physical actions, that she loved Quinn.


​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Reina Daival //:

Quinn listened to every word, taking in and doing her best to provide the support the woman needed. Some parts of Reina she could see herself in, and she wondered if the sinking feeling in her chest was what they felt when they looked at her. Quinn hoped not, because knowing that her mother felt this helpless at times to help her, killed her.

"Reina, everything will be okay." She hushed the girl soothingly. Seeing Reina like this hurt her. If only there were a way to make it all go away, even momentarily. Quinn knew her method of doing that wasn't always everyone else's — though Reina never complained. Again, a quiet guilt settled in her chest.

"I won't leave you, don't be foolish. No matter what, no matter where our paths lead, I won't leave you." She smiled as Reina raised her gaze to hers. "I couldn't imagine it."

Quinn ignored the firmness of the grip on her chin; she knew it came from the pain, from the healing. She paused momentarily, and her features softened. While Reina wanted to feel this pain, Quinn wouldn't allow it.

Reina's next words were painful — a reminder of what someone could do to someone else. Quinn didn't know how to help Reina, but she listened because it was the one thing she could do for her. Quinn just smiled softly, her hand now brushing back the copper hair that clung to the woman's face. Moments like this were what Reina needed, the reassurance that someone was going to be here in some way or form for her when she came home.

"The keyword is you tried to give up — but you didn't. So, every day you're getting stronger, better than you were the day before. Keep your head up. Because I believe in you — so that's enough." Quinn gave the girl a grin as she didn't expect the next thing that came out of Reina's mouth.

The realization was not what Quinn had expected. A part of her had hoped the girl had found an inner strength — something that would burn brightly because she wanted it to, without the need of someone else holding her up. It's what she dreamed for Reina, what she had hoped Reina would find by her side. But something was different, and Quinn tilted her head slightly, trying to read why suddenly there was such a physical change with whatever she was fighting to say.

"Reina?" Quinn interjected before…

"I love you, Quinn Varanin."

Quinn's lips parted, but no sound escaped. Reina didn't give her a chance to process. Didn't allow the words to sink deeper than the surface. Quinn's world spun. Around and around as her body tightened instantly. Everything was still so fresh, so new. Where did this come from?

This kiss was a blessing; it meant Quinn didn't have to answer. She could accept the affection and allow it to fill her — to fill that emptiness she always felt. Quinn wanted to be loved, she wanted to be needed, and Reina gave her that…

But Quinn returning it?

That's what terrified her. Her eyes, half lidded, watched how deeply Reina felt for her, how much she wanted to express these feelings of love… and lust.

But that's what people wanted from her, right?

To remain.

To give.

To lust.

To love.

She cared for Reina, but love was a territory Quinn feared entering. She returned all of the affection back to the Ersansyr, holding her close and relishing in the moment before everything had the potential of breaking her.

Because that's what happens to people who loved Quinn Varanin.

They break.

Over.

And Over.

And Over.

"Reina… you shouldn't say something like that…"
"...To someone like me." ​

 

[Reina Daival]

//: Quinn Varanin //:
//: Outfit //:

Quinn was all the support Reina needed in this moment, as she leaned against the Echani. She was slowly managing to come to terms with her emotions after bringing it up to Quinn. Especially as Quinn said she wouldn't leave Reina. As much as people had said that in the past, and proven themselves wrong, there was a part of Reina that just wanted to believe in Quinn more than anything. And so she did. Her eyes focusing on Quinn's, as a little bit of light twinkled for a moment. A little bit of hope starting to form once again.

"You better not leave me. I've given you...I'm giving you everything I have. I trust you Quinn. I know if I need anything...I can come to you...But the same goes for you. If you need anything from me...just tell me, okay?"

They both had to share the weight. Even if their relationship wasn't anything "official." That was one of the things that was on Reina's mind, momentarily of course before she had kissed Quinn. Showing the Echani how much Reina did truly love her. The trust she felt. Letting herself be her most vulnerable with Quinn, compared to anyone else. Every wall she normally held up had faded in this moment before she broke the kiss.

Her gaze focusing on Quinn for a moment, as the Siren could feel that something was wrong. The words hadn't been said back. Of course, she hadn't given Quinn the chance to...but that was because there was a deep part of Reina that didn't expect it to be said back. It never was. So she just raised her hand up to Quinn's cheek, rubbing her thumb along the Echani's face gently. A small sign of how much she had gotten over her trauma of physical intimacy because of Quinn, even as the Echani said Reina shouldn't say things like that.

"You should always tell the people you care that you love them. You never know when your last moment will be. That's what I learned today Quinn. And it's why I told you. And I'll tell you every day. I shouldn't say this to someone like you? That's nonsense. You've made my life so much brighter. Helped me get through so much."

Reina leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Quinn's once again, letting silence fill the air for a moment as she contemplated her thoughts. Yes, she saw Quinn as her "queen", but the Echani was something far more than that to Reina. She didn't see Quinn as a Sith, and whilst she did treat Quinn like a Queen, it was because of how much she cared for the other woman.

"You don't need to say the words back. I never expected you to. I just...I couldn't leave you in the dark about how I felt. We might not be..."exclusive" or official...but my heart only belongs to you Quinn...and if I shouldn't say something like that? I'll show you instead."

The Siren took Quinn's hand gently, and brought it up to feel Reina's heartbeat, steady but racing at the same time. A strong beat that just seemed to radiate with joy throughout Reina's core. A small smile gracing her face as she raised her free hand to rub any stray tears from her face as she kept her focus on Quinn's face.

"There. I don't need to tell you."​

​

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Reina Daival //:

Her words. She had meant them. Reina didn't understand because she didn't know Quinn. She was blissfully unaware of the dangers she had brought upon herself by invoking those cursed words. What had Quinn done? What did she do to turn people so devoutly to her? This wasn't on purpose, this wasn't what she wanted… or did she? While every word that came from Reina's lips, through her touch, made Quinn want to run, it also burned a warmth in her chest.

Reina didn't know. Reina had no clue.

Quinn wasn't someone meant to be loved as Reina wanted to love her. No, this was a mistake. Reina had to be mistaking lust and love.

She didn't stop it, though, even if she should have. Reina had come a long way from the girl in the restaurant. Perhaps she would come to her senses soon, realize that she didn't truly love her. This was lust; she wanted what they physically shared. Those emotions, that euphoric feeling, the high of lust. Those were the feelings that elicited this reaction.

Her soft smile didn't fade, tightening, but never disappearing. The words, the elusive threat to never leave. Quinn felt her chest tighten. Knowing that everything Reina was putting herself through was because of her — it didn't sit right. The things Reina was doing, she could get herself killed, a type of guilt that Quinn would never be able to shake.

She exhaled softly, letting the woman speak. Her touch was always welcomed; it burned as it often did, but Quinn sought the comfort of her blood-stained hands. They were stained because of her, because of what Reina wanted to be, what Reina wanted to have — all of it because of Quinn.

"Reina…" Quinn whispered as she felt the woman's heart beating under her hand. She didn't know what to say or what to do. It was so much, so quickly. Quinn hadn't been prepared, mentally, emotionally…

But she wouldn't turn Reina away, no — despite all of this, she would give Reina what she wanted. She would give what she could.

Her hand moved, fingers tightening around the fabric of the Ersansyr's clothing. The rough fabric between her fingers grounded her, helped her focus on the exact thing almost everyone wanted from her. Quinn pulled Reina, pulled her into a kiss, deeper than the one they had just shared. As they kissed, Quinn's hand wandered, pressing lightly against the woman's uninjured shoulder.

She lay her back, moving into her lap, keeping her occupied with the deepening kiss as her hands continued to roam, pushing fabric aside, exposing skin.

Quinn understood desire and lust; this was safe, this was something she could give without worrying about Reina breaking. Their lips parted as Quinn held her, letting her lips trail carefully down the length of her paramour's neck.

"Truly show me then…"

To love Quinn Varanin...
Was to kiss Death and call your ruin 'devotion'...​

 

[Reina Daival]

​

//: Quinn Varanin //:
//: Outfit //:

Reina had thrown herself into many storms, again and again. Been battered, beaten and bruised by every single one she had hurled herself into. It had been her duty. Her job. To let herself suffer for someone else. But in this moment? Reina was willing to suffer whatever storm she needed for herself. This was what she wanted. Any curse, any danger? She wanted what came with loving Quinn. It would hurt. She knew that more than most would assume. But she had spent her whole life getting hurt with nothing for it. Nothing to show why she went through it all.

The Siren knew there were plenty more of fish in the sea. Those who would have been safer targets of her affection. Those who she knew she'd be able to spend the rest of her days with, but none of them were Quinn Varanin. Leaning into the kiss that Quinn stole from her lips, as Reina reached to hold onto the Echani's shoulders, digging her fingers in ever so slightly. This was not the time for Reina to be gentle. Her love wasn't something soft. A small little flutter in the wind. It burned hot, like a raging furnace added on with the raging storm that swirled within her chest as she closed her eyes.

There were so many words that swirled within Reina's mind. How she needed Quinn so much. How the Echani had brought out a side of Reina that felt accepted. That didn't feel like she had to hide who she was. Quinn accepted Reina for who she was. As much as Reina wanted to be better, to be someone worth Quinn's affections, the Siren knew that was her own thoughts. Not Quinn's. For all Reina knew, she was good enough. She just needed to be sure of it. And as their lips parted, with Quinn right in Reina's lap where the Siren wanted her, she lowered her hands to hold the Echani close, letting her fingers trail along Quinn

"You've made me realise...I am someone who could be loved...I'm not a monster. So I will show you...how much you truly mean to me, Tárinya. All of me is yours...My body. My heart. My soul."

Because for Reina Daival, she did not fear death. She did not fear her own ruin. There was nothing for her to lose. No pain she hadn't already went through in her eyes. The Siren would burn within the hottest flames of hell for her Queen. Not for the Queen of Eshan.

For the Queen of Death
And she was her Queen's ever faithful Knight.
​

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