Private Not quite forgotten.

[Darth Nwul]

Wake got to his feet and shoved his hands into his pockets. He walked over to her and crouched down, his hands still in his pockets. He looked her square in the face with those gleaming green eyes that hid behind them a writhing darkness-and power. He smiled at her, "How? You expect to just come up with an answer just like that? That takes experience," Wake said, "We're not concerned about the how right now. Are we? Just accept how you feel, accept what you want to do, accept your goals, your aspirations, don't hide from them," His expression turned a bit cruel, "I can walk you through this however you like, but we gotta break through this dam you've got built up around your emotions..."

He pulled a hand out of his pocket and took her chin, "Look at me and breathe, let it all out, stop fighting it. Cry, scream, laugh, jump for joy, bite, struggle, find your will to live and stay sane in the very emotions you're so frightened of..." He whispered, "...the Ashlan aren't here to tell you what to do anymore. They can't, can they? We killed all of them down below. I know its scary, and it's going to feel so intense the first time, it'll be overwhelming, almost painful. But it's the only way."

He grabbed her shoulders, "Let it out Aliris! Let it out and take control!" He commanded.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

Let out her emotions, stop fighting it. She didn't know what else to do but fight it. The child stared blankly at Wake for a moment, tears in the corner of her eyes. She hated feeling like this. Weak. Angry. Uncertainty. Her expression broke for a moment before full tears streamed down her face. She wanted friends. She wanted Braze to be her friend, and she hated the Ashlan's for twisting her to what she was.

So she cried. Sobbed and cried without restraint as she let it all out.

It was minutes of crying. Heavy sobs and tears that she hadn't been able to express all her life. She didn't want to be alone any more, and she didn't want to be some angry, cruel Sith either. She wanted her life as her own, free to make her own choices. She wept. And the Force wept with her. The sands of Korriban whipped up into a storm, sending the camp around them into disarray. The more upset she got, the worse the storm turned as she didn't seem to be able to control it.

Darth Nwul

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake looked up at the storm with a sense of wonder, what incredible things the force could do without so much as a whisper of resentment when you simply embraced it. He got up, holding up his arm against the wind and moved to sit down next to her, placing a hand on her back and gently rubbing it. "That's it, that's good, keep going, all of it, open the dam," Wake said gently, his yellow eyes locked on the back of her head. He took a deep breath and reached for her emotions, feeling how they felt, feeling how she felt. Her misery, lonliness, sadness, frustration. All negative, he raised an eyebrow.

"I feel it, but it isn't enough, you've had happy moments to, moments of wonder, of excitement, you have to feel everything Aliris. Feel it, I'll help," He whispered, grabbing hold of her emotions in the force and guiding them slowly towards her core, "Store it, like a battery, vault, or crucible, however you want to visualize it. These emotions are yours, you do not belong to your emotions. They are manifestations of passion," He urged her, stroking her back as he planted the seeds of joy, of happiness, of wonder, of curiosity, of abandon, of love, within her. Her own mind would find the memories to apply them to in order to dig them out from where she'd packed them away so tightly.

"Let it all out, and break that first set of shackles," Wake whispered.

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

It was mind breaking. Misery and joy, hate and love, so many contradicting emotions just flooded her mind and filled her very being. Most were familiar, but some weren't. Were they emotions she'd been denying all this time? Had she been so keen on ignoring all of these emotions that she didn't realize how much she had? Overwhelmed, though, she just let herself listen to Wake's words.

Break the shackles. Use the emotions, don't let them use her. She suddenly became vastly aware of what was going on around her. The ripping wind, the loss of control. Consumed by her emotions. Make them hers. She let out a breath, which sounded more like a choking sob, before she did slowly start to reign it all in. they were hers. Only hers. She took another breath, breathed more and more calmly with each one, until the winds settled and her power finally found it's place within her.

She lifted a hand then, looking it over. Lightning sparked across her fingers before she smiled.

"Oh."

Darth Nwul

 

[Darth Nwul]

Wake watched with fascination as he saw the force used this way from the outside rather from wtihin. It gave him perspective, insight into what he was trying so hard to accomplish. It was a bit unfair using the girl as an experiment in this way, but she had come through and had become stronger for it. More than hate and rage in her heart now. But he had to be sure that she accepted herself in every way, that she understood herself, that she would allow the emotions to flow.

"How do you feel about your Jedi?" Wake asked gently as a pair of figures came running in their direction. The twins. He held up a hand and waved them away, they could return to the campsite for now. He looked down at her. "Can you stand?"

He remembered the time beneath Korriban, as he lost himself to the emotions. "There are risks to using love and more positive emotions to channel the dark side," He explained, "You can lose yourself in it if you do not reign it in," He looked her in the eyes, "There are advantages too, you can understand things that other Sith simply can't, you can see the love connecting people, appreciate nature, feel more..."

"It's like a rebirth..." He mused thoughtfully.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

She shook her head as she listened to him. Her gaze lifted, meeting his before she just smiled. A simple, warm smile. She felt power. She knew what she had to do. Mostly. There was an understanding in the back of her mind that it wasn't going to be this easy. To feel these emotions and keep them under control, she already could tell she might end up loosing that very control to the storm within.

And yet,

"It's like breathing, for the first time. .. Thanks."

Darth Nwul

 

[Darth Nwul]

He returned the smile she gave him with one full of a warmth he hadn't expected. It was a parental affection almost, he could sense that he had played a role in the birth of something new in her life, someone new. She was right, she was taking her first breaths as a new identity, something more than the sith from before. She could feel every emotion in the spectrum now, experience them, savor them. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You can thank me by becoming powerful, your strength is the Sith's strength," Wake said and straightened up from where he was crouching in front of her, "You faced your emotions, I just pushed you in the right direction. It takes an iron will to admit your feelings, even the ones you fear without knowing."

It was a twisted variation of the wisdom imparted upon him by his Jedi Master. A near inversion of the pacifism of the Jedi. "Congratulations Aliris," he said and brushed himself off. He had a feeling he was supposed to be lounging in that place earlier, now he knew the force had ensured this meeting. Without another word he turned to leave, having accomplished what he wanted to. But he didn't ignore her if she stopped him.

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

Aliris watched after him only for a moment, then lowered her gaze down to her hands once more. Lightning danced between her fingertips, though they didn't spread far. And she could feel her skin burning. But, she didn't find herself angry or frustrated at her lack of control over it. It'd take time, right? She chuckled to herself, glancing back towards Wake, then turned to continued on her way towards.. Nothing.

She was just wandering for the most part. But now she had something to work on in the meantime. Control.