Private Never Trust a Tired Rodian

[Cerys Dyn]

| Thyrsus
| Tannenvar City
| Midday

Thyrsus had been a dud. Rumour had brought her here. Rumour of a Jedi Enclave that was more stringent about their path. That was the last time she took advice from Dreeno. Lying Rodian skuzz…calm yourself, Cerys.

She had been on Thyrsus for a month now, and most of that time had been spent working and earning money necessary to purchase a small ship. As she was unwilling to work he black markets, or ply her Jedi abilities in unseemly ways, the process of saving up the money had been longer than expected. What with paying for food, accomodation and the like, it was a markedly different experience than travelling with her late Master. Vaas had had contacts everywhere. None of them had been passed on, save the few that Cerys had gotten to know with her Master.

She had finally purchased a small shuttle. Something that had seen better days, a long time ago. The controls though, were unfamiliar to her. She was no pilot, as evidenced by the burning wreck she left on Jakku after her ‘landing’. The controls seemed spread apart too far. Perhaps it was designed for a non-humanoid species? Was that why it had been cheaper?

I should have saved longer and got something I could fly more easily.

Her hand opened to reveal the meagre credits that remained at her disposal. It wasn’t enough to hire a pilot. She slumped into the chair, feeling a tad defeated. This was so much easier with Master Vaas. She buried her face in her hands and suppressed the unwelcome and unpermitted tears.

The ship…

Cerys was up and out of the vessel before she had time to think. Pulling her brown leather belt tighter around her waist, Cerys headed to the nearest den of iniquity. She needed a pilot. A desperate pilot. A pilot so unassuming that he would accept her rusty old shuttle as payment for the journey to the New Jedi Order.

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

Did Phineas have a ship? Not at all. Was he a pilot? Yes.

Sort of. Having left his previous position in the Kobothi S-Corps, he traveled all the way to the core to join the fighter squadron known as Misfit. It was ragtag, a lot of personalities, led by some redheaded girl. Having tried for years to make his mark in the S-Corps, Phineas was hoping the Galactic Alliance and the Misfit Squadron would give him the purpose and new adventure he needed in his life.

Right now? Right now he was on vacation, putting his first paycheck from the Alliance to use.

He had taken a public transport and this was an unfortunate layover. Phinaes didn't want to fight an overly warrior people, so he was sitting at the bar, quietly minding his own business for the next two hours and his next leg back to Fondor. Next to him, his astromech Ferb was quietly assessing the area, literally watching Phinny's back as he drank.

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

A young, innocent looking blonde woman was not the normal fare for an establishment such as this. She knew it. All the eyes that lingered on her for a moment told her that everyone else knew it too. She paid them no head, nose up in the air a little in her normal manner.

She approached the bar and signalled for the barkeepers attention. He did not grant it. Cerys signalled again, with a demure but insistent wave. The barkeeper still did not look her way. He was only washing glasses. What was his deal?

”Excuse me. Barkeeper.” Her tone was firm, but polite. He looked her way and grunted a little and then went back to drying his glasses.

“Targarian tankbuster, Fixer.” The voice was that of a gruff old spacer. He was served immediately. Cerys frowned deeply and felt the urge to stamp her foot. She did not give in to said desire.

“Barkeeper…I am looking for a pilot…”

“Take your pick. Pretty much everyone here is a pilot to some degree,” said the old spacer as he got just a little too close. she could smell his body odour. It was not at all pleasant.

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

Drink was finishing as the blonde woman was asking for a pilot. With the way she looked, Phineas thought it was a stupid idea. There was no way a girl like her should be asking around in dive bars for a pilot. Maybe she got lost and was meant to go to the nearest five star hotel and ask for passage. The redheaded man thought it was hard to get lost and wind up in a place like this, but stranger things had happened.

"Just take your pick Honey. All of us here are pilots. Hell, those who aren't I'm sure are willin' to do anything in the 'verse for a chance at a few credits. Not exactly easy out there."

Ferb whistled and gave a series of beeps, causing Phineas to nod.

"Even my droid thinks you're crazy for coming in here."

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

The response of both patrons riled her ever so slightly. She tried not to let it show, but failed miserably. The term ‘Honey’ was especially grating. Cerys gazed at the offender with side eyes and offered an insincere smile.

”Thank you for your input,” she said with a nod.

She glanced at the droid and her smile morphed into one more open. She patted the droid softly on its visual receptor. “Hey there little guy…aren’t you a cutie…but no my little droid friend…I am not crazy…just…crazy desperate? I have a ship…but I am no pilot.”

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

Ferb gave another series of trills and beeps, clearly trying to impart something on himself and the woman who just came in asking for a pilot. Little head swiveled between the two, another questioning beep. Meanwhile, Phineas shook his head.

"The droid says we should take the job. However...I think you're crazy. Not just 'cause you walked in here either."

Ferb gave something that was akin to an electronic snort.

"You know why I think you're crazy? Cause you come waltzin' in here, askin' any strange man for passage. Makes me think you could possibly kill us, me and Ferb. I've heard about beautiful women who travel the hyperlanes and kill unsuspecting men. I may be stupid Honey, but I'm not that dumb. You'd be sorely disappointed to kill me, I ain't got no money."

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

Flustered was an understatement.

”Well…I…never…”

Cerys stood apruptly and grabbed a nearby glass of water. Its contents sloshed about and spilled a bit on the countertop. Her eyes were fierce in their indignation.

Honey.

Beautiful.

Where does he…

Kill him?

Where does he…

“I will have you know…Mr…Jackass…that I am a Jedi…not some low life serial killing…floozy…”

He was right though. She walked into a bar and just asked people for a pilot. She could do with learning some subtlety and charm. To the end, her fingers uncurled from around the glass as she thought better than repeating the moment in the Jakku Enclave’s gardens.

Her eyes lost a bit of their fire, but she was not about to give this miscreant the pleasure of seeing her flail.

”There are plenty of other horrid establishments from which I can find a pilot. Good day…sir.”

She turned and marched towards the door.

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

"Jedi kill people too honey, I'm just sayin'."

Phineas turned to look her up and down. Not to observe her feminine form, no. He was trying to judge if the woman was actually a Jedi. Anyone could claim to be one. He could technically call himself a Jedi. Was anyone going to stop him? Maybe the Sith, but that was here no there. They were talking about schematics at the moment.

Phineas finished downing his drink as his droid, Ferb, started to chirp and whistle. It was a flurry of activity, the little droid very adamant that Phineas speak up and get clarity on a question. A question that he and the droid had been debating for months at this point. Ferb thought he was right, Phineas thought he was right.

An impasse.

"You said you're a Jedi? Before you go....Ferb says your kind sacrifice redheads for religious purposes. Is that true? We've got a bet going on. Haven't been able to get an answer for months."

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

She paused at the door. Her mind raced with possible things to say in retort. None of them were becoming of a Jedi. She had already been a poor showing for her station with storming off. She had to be better.

She spun on her heels. Eyes narrowed.

You are the single most impertinent duo I have ever had the displeasure of encountering.

“Fly me to my destination…and I will answer you.”

Why did she hate herself?

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

Now that sounded ominous.

Phineas paused, looking at his droid. They had already booked passage back to Fondor. Public transport, so it didn't cost too many credits but still. Then there was the simple fact she didn't seem to like him.

Why was beyond him. Maybe he was rocking her Jedi worldview or something similar. There was a lot to unpack with her and Phineas wasn't so sure he wanted to bother. Plus, the woman hadn't mentioned payment. Highly suspicious, as if he was supposed to do it out of charity.

"....Ferb, I don't know. She hates us."

A sharp trill from Ferb.

"I don't care if you want to know the answer! If you're right, I'm dead. Then how will you feel?"

An electronic snort of laughter.

"Oh it's funny huh? When I'm dead I hope your new owner melts you down for scrap."

The redheaded young man paid his bar tab then got off the stool, stretching. Backpack once on the floor was slung over his shoulder, approaching the woman. It looked as if he was going on this adventure and he hoped his skills obtained in the S-Corps would be able to handle a Jedi.

"Against my better judgement....let's get a move on."

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

Eyes could not roll anymore than hers did. Well. If they had been on stalks, perhaps. But no more than a normal humanoid at least. This redhead virgin sacrifice wannabe and his sociopathic droid were probably the last people she should entrust to get her to the destination. However, she was a beggar. And beggars could not be…

”Wait…you agree?”

The incredulity that crossed her face was beyond measure.

”You are the strangest little boy I have ever met.”

A heel turn was executed with the same bitchy precision as the previous one, and she marched out of the cantina with a wave of her hand for the two to follow her. When they caught up, she started speaking again.

”I need to get to the Naboo Enclave…and I have purchased a ship…which is also your payment should you deliver me to Naboo safely…it isn’t a pretty ship…nor even a very big ship…I have set up a privacy curtain down the middle of the small cargo bay…and a couple of hammocks…you stay on your side…and I have no desire to leave mine…understood?”

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

"Little boy? LITTLE BOY? Honey, I am a grown man. A veteran of battles. I'm sorry you've got father issues and like 'em older, but you don't have to like me, you just have to like my flying."

This woman was more infuriating than Naomi Carolina , and boy, was the leader of the Misfit Squadron infuriating. Phineas had told her several times to her face, but what could he do? Join the Revs? Those guys were nerds beyond repair. Hell, nerds would be embarrassed to be lumped into the same category.

Naboo Enclave? Phineas had never heard of it. He assumed, judging by the name, that it was on Naboo or a nearby moon. Easy enough, they were in the Core, which meant the trip would be on the shorter side. Thankfully they were not hauling tail towards Kesh or the Tingel Arm. That would be a wild, long ride.

Ferb trundled along with them, little photo-receptors turning between the two as they walked.

"The ship is payment? So you're giving me a shit-box for escorting you to and fro? This doesn't even make sense. Its probably stolen. No one gives a vessel away, even if it is horrible. As for the cargo space, that's probably where your kill floor is. Just hose the blood and gristle out the back. No wonder you're so eager just to get rid of it, probably loaded with evidence."

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by ‘liking them older’, but she didn’t like his pronunciation nor his diction. The man was uncouth, uncultured and unpleasant. He was right. She only needed to like his flying, but it certainly felt like scrapping the barrel - the underside of the bottom of the barrel.

”If you insist on calling me Honey. I will insist on calling you Little Boy. If the doesn’t please you, I will differ to Cretin,” she punched int he code to the berth in which her little shuttle was being housed. It was among several other smaller craft, all of varying degrees of repair. She did not walk towards one of the nice ones.

“If you insist on insulting the Vaas,” she said, ignoring his grotesque illusions to graphic violence, “then you will find yourself with a silent crew mate for the whole journey. I am well used to meditating days on end.”

She had named the small shuttle after her recently deceased master. Despite not supposing to have strong attachments to the woman, Cerys had allowed this one indiscretion as a means of honouring Master Vaas. No one would know, save her. And somehow, the small act helped with the constant pang of sadness in the pit of her stomach.

“Search it all you wish, Little Boy. I would be unsurprised if you measure up to the stereotypical abilities of men to find things…”

She slapped the console on the side of the shuttle and a panel fell of the engine manifold. Cerys straightened her back, and hardened her face. Another slap saw the door open with a high pitched creak. She winced as a shiver ran down her spine.

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

"I quite like the sound of Cretin. Perhaps I should change my callsign to it? What'd you think Sweetheart? Cretin instead of Carrot. It has a certain ring to it...I'll be debating it during the flight."

Phineas took a critical eye at the Vaas. It....was far from perfect. Very small too, from what he could tell, which was going to make the journey to Naboo even more perilous. Was he going to be on his best behavior? As best as he could make it. Phineas had always been a bit of 'class clown' with some douchebag-like phrases. However, he always had a very strong sense of duty. He would make the trip and get her there safely, even if they argued the entire time.

"Silence is fine Sweetheart. I can talk to you either way. I'm used to bein' ignored, so please, do as you wish. Ain't going to stop me."

Ignoring the pieces falling off the vessel so he didn't risk her ire, moving into the cockpit as Ferb whistled a question about the safety of the vessel and if they were going to make it.

"Doubtful Ferb."

The redheaded man slid into pilots chair, his backside catching on a cracked piece of vinyl. Face winced as he started up the ship, the Vaas coughing - literally - to life as he did so. The panels lit up with a large amount of warning lights and he tried to ascertain if any of them were critical.

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

There was no co pilots chair, the ship was not big enough, but there was a fold down seat in front of the small astronavigation station. Cerys tipped it down, and sat in a side saddle manner on it. She crossed her legs and leaned on the nav- com which instantly blurted out bells and whistles, interrupting a retort.

“My name is Cerys…not sweetheart…you…”

She moved her elbow and went a deep shade of red. Her eyes shot first to the nav-com, where she tapped the button to end the hyperspace jump plotting sequence. She then shot the pilot a glance, and then looked away to avoid eye-contact. It was the first truly vulnerable moment that she had shown.

“…just…call me Cerys…please.”

She stood, the fold down chair flicking up too quickly and grabbing her dress in the hinge. With a serious bite of her bottom lip, she pushed it back down and got her garment unstuck. She avoided eye contact with the pilot and went back to the hammock that seemed to have already been set up for her. She moved around a few meagre possessions and did whatever she could just to distract herself.

”What do I actually call you? Your…name?”

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

Did I break her already? This quickly?

Now in hyperspace, Phineas could just set the alarms and be done with it. Not that he would miss an alarm - the 'living' space was right behind the pilors chair. Some hammocks on each side, a flimsy sheet separating the two into makeshift 'cabins'. It wasn't the worst conditions he had slept in and the hammock looked fairly inviting and comfortable.

"Alright Swe....er...Cerys, as you wish."

Shoulders shrugged when she inquired what to call him.

"Cretin. Carrot. Ginger. Annoying." A chuckle at that one. "My real name is Phineas. Phinny if you're so inclined but something tells me you won't be."

Cerys Dyn

 

[Cerys Dyn]

She was shocked that it only took a request to call her by her name to get him to change his ways. As she undid her small satchel of belongings, she cast him a sidelong glance. Perhaps he was not as uncouth and untrainable as she had first thought. It didn’t change anything. Except for make the journey a little more tolerable. Hopefully.

”Annoying?” She said, as she pulled out a thin emergency blanket and draped it over her hammock. “You only have yourself to blame for that one…Little Boy.”

She gave him a subtle glance again, gauging his reaction.

”You clearly have a way with people that causes them to give you these monikers.”

Phineas Karr

 

[Phineas Karr]

Phineas set several alarms in the vessel. If he was asleep he didn't want them just tossed out of hyperspace without an idea of where what or why. Not that he was expecting trouble but coming out of hyperspace was tricky. Add in the trouble in the Core worlds and it could be downright dangerous.

It didn't help that Rust Bucket also known as Vaas was not exactly in well maintained condition. If they even made it anywhere near Naboo it would be no small miracle.

"One person's trash is another's treasure. Hence my annoying can be great for someone else but not yourself. Perspective sweetheart."

Not having a blanket, Phineas pulled his jacket out of his bag and slipped it on. He figured he would get some shut eye soon. Well, he wasn't too tired but he could lay in his hammock and mindlessly scroll the HoloNet.

"I do have a way with people. I'm polarizing, you either love or hate me. I know for sure you absolutely hate me. I'm fine with that."

Cerys Dyn