Nepenthe

[Nej Tane]

Caves? I'd go into a cave with her. Scary monsters and all.


"Never been better."

Partially true. Nej reached up and was yanked up- yanked, because Ayessa was a lot stronger than she looked. He began to walk with her, up and down- traversing and climbing this and that way. He ran a hand through his hair, unblooping his helmet- it nicely folded behind his ear.

"So- all this. Yours. Say you do own it- what's a Jedi gonna do with a big mountain, anyway?"

Nej was quiet (for once) for a while.

"I'd build a theme park."

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Western Wastes, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ Little Talks ~ "Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around." "I'll see you when I fall asleep."
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Detaching herself from Nej's grip perhaps a little too quickly-- Force forbid they actually hold hands, she did after all just launch him a few feet into the air --And set out in leading the once again, struggling less with the geography now that they'd made significant vertical headway. It was just a matter of following the clear-cut course.

And then he asked a very good question. One that made her pause slightly, head half-turned to look over with a mixed expression of humour and thoughtfulness, "I've never been to a theme park, but," A pause then, and her eyes shifted upwards once more, "I don't know. Maybe I'd just keep it the same."

The closer they got to their suspected location, the more realization dawned on her. Ayessa wasn't sensing any lifeforms in the immediate area beyond wildlife and themselves. No sentient beings. Just them. Unless her relatives had mastered the art of disappearing in the Force entirely...

...Or there was nobody left to find. Direly hoping to be wrong, she charged forward slightly, "I think we're almost there." Her voice betrayed her now though, one high-pitched with anxiety and a few notes of impending grief.

It's terrible to realize that you're alone.

 

[Nej Tane]

I never did mind hiking after that day. Always reminded me of that day.


Nej laughed at her sentiment, in a joyous way. He was happy that she was attached to something so important. And part of him was jealous. Nej never had anything relating to him, to his family. He was just a poor kid, who grew up in the hard way- and alone. Utterly alone. But Nej felt really, really good at the present moment- because he wasn't alone. Not anymore. And he wouldn't be alone anymore.

Nej felt something off with her, for just a moment. She seemed to be looking, probably with the force. He was going to need a better way to understand when Ayessa was using the force. Currently, he just sort of stared behind her (and at other things, mostly rocks) while she was lost in her trance, or focusing.

He knew. He knew what she was thinking when he looked around.

"Ayessa..."

Was all that he could manage to say. What would he say to someone? He didn't know what it was like to lose someone, or an entire family- much less everyone that he ever knew. It was hard to understand about loss when you never had anything to begin with. He walked up beside her, interlocking his fingers with hers as a show of support. That's what he was here for, at the present moment, so damn it if he wasn't going to show it.

He heard the distant thunder approaching.

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ Your Bones ~ "Troubled spirits on my chest, where they laid to rest."
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This time the grip was appreciated, it momentarily grounded her anxious mind. Up ahead she could see the tops of small buildings poking out over the rocks in their path, tattered cloth from tents long, long destroyed. The camp itself sat right on a cliff, overlooking the desert below them that they had just crossed. If they squinted enough they probably could have made out Nej's ship.

"They're gone." Ayessa muttered, despite knowing how likely it was. 800 years was a long time for her family to continue on, and she'd already accepted that her parents would be long-gone too. She just hadn't expected there to be anybody at all. Not a single relative to find kinship with.

Nobody except the sand, and the ruins before them.

She started moving, pulling Nej with her due to their interlocked hands. Right up into the middle of the abandoned settlement, her head twisting this way and that to inspect their surroundings. It was painfully familiar, but painfully derelict too. Most of the houses looked close to falling apart, and the Kiffar's eyes fell on the largest one near the centre of the ramshackle town, "I think it's that one." Not too sure herself by what she meant by 'that one', Ayessa started leading him towards it silently with determination in each step.

 

[Nej Tane]

She deserved much more than this- right then, right there, I never wanted-


Nej paused in his steps, his hand slipping from hers. It was overwhelming. An entire place...gone. 800 years was a long time, but all this destruction- all this loss. He had never been a soldier, he had never seen war. He had killed, but he had never experienced loss and pain like this. He could see the buildings as they once were, perhaps once upon a time. He crouched down, running his hands through the sand at his feet.

What once bustled, now only sat derelict. What was once full of life, was no empty and silent. He followed still, staying close to Ayessa. Two words and he felt how broken, how empty she felt- he didn't need the force to feel that. Nobody could lose their whole...people and be fine.

He approached the...house? With her.

"This...is yours? How do you know?"

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ Your Bones ~ "A million stars up in the sky formed a tiger's eye, that looked down on my face -- Out of time and out of place."
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To call it a house was a stretch. It was more like a ramshackle hovel, constructed of cloth, durasteel plating, stone and wood. Definitely more of a large shack and time had taken its toll to wear away at the surfaces. Ayessa's free hand casually pushed back a flap and she glanced back briefly to him, lifting a shoulder and dropping it, "I just do. I remember it. I think." The uncertainty was plain in her voice and eyes, but, still, she forged on inside.

The interior was dank and destitute, as it should be from the ravages of time. What looked to have once been furniture had fallen apart centuries ago into scrap heaps, though what looked to be a bed still remained tucked in the corner, protected from the elements due to its position in absolute cover. Sunlight that was waning from the stormclouds trickled down from holes in the centre of the one-room shelter. A sigh worked it's way out of her chest upon taking it all in, eyes downcast slightly.

"Yeah. This is it."

"If the storm's coming we ought to-- Find a place that'll keep out whatever rain comes."

 

[Nej Tane]

- Never wanted anything more than to spend every waking moment with her, you know? No fight, no drug could give me the thrill that she does.


Nej lightly touched the bed in the corner with his fingertips, but didn't say anything for a moment. The distant roar of thunder snapped his mind back to the situation, and the company he had. So much...loss. Abandonment. He had never seen anything like it, in his entire life. He walked next to her, placing a hand on the back of her head, before pulling her in for a silent embrace. He didn't need to say anything, because he had nothing truthfully to say. He held her there for a moment, gently running his fingers through her hair.

"Yeah...that storm is gonna be here real soon."

He took a look around the room, then to the darkening sky through one of the many holes in the ceiling.

"Do you need a minute?"

Alone- is what he meant really.

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ Your Bones ~ "So hold on, hold on to what we are, hold on to your heart."
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Ayessa wasn't much of a hugger, admittedly. But in this one instant it was okay.

Well, it wasn't okay, not really. But it could be acceptable. Silent arms encircled his torso and her fingers grasped at his back, her forehead against him almost pitifully. But there weren't any tears, no anger, no bargaining. Just silent acceptance of the facts. The Jedi remained there against Nej for a second or two before finally electing to answer his question, "No. No, I'm fine, and--"

And I don't want to be alone.

"If we, uhm, patch the roof up, it should hold. Unless you wanna go find that cave?"

A bit of humour slipped into her voice at that laat remark but it was bitter, too. She didn't make any motions of going to disconnect or detangle from the embrace either.

 

[Nej Tane]

She was...She is- something you have to see to believe.


Nej nodded, and set to work. He didn't say anything for a while, fetching plates of durasteel, patches of leather- cloth to patch up the roof. In the while, he dropped the red jacket- and taking care to show her how much he really appreciated using the weight set in his ship, particularly back day, thanks to a tight-fitting cotton gray shirt. After a while of grunting, cursing, and a small cut on his hand, Nej showed Ayessa how handy he was- and a bit of engineering. Nej may not have had the good smarts, but he had the smarts and the know-how where it counts.

He spoke after a while.

"Nope, I can do without the cave, actually."

Nej ran a hand through his hair, somewhat sweaty. The rain came softly, hitting their shared shelter. He looked from side to side, then to the singular bed. He opened up his pack, taking out a fleece blanket and some rations. Not particularly....delicious- but good enough. He produced a small stove, and set a bottle of water for her and him.

"So..you...uh...I think we should talk. About. Us. And the. Thing."

Not particularly a good conversationalist.

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ Your Bones ~ "Chasing leafs in the wind, going where we've never been."
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Ayessa wasn't one to stand idle. Sure, she did watch on occasion-- Nej was effective at catching her eye, that was undeniable, and on occasion she paused to look properly --but for the most part the Jedi busied herself with patching up the sides of the shed where she could, the Force on her side for the job as she moved scrap metal to the corner. The shiny bits of durasteel floated through the air via telekinesis to where they'd be out of the way. An impressive little trick, if she didn't look rather hollow about the whole endeavour.

"Is your hand alright?" Of course, her first thought was not to herself, but to those around her. Him. Even as she settled on the derelict bed she held a hand out expectantly so she could inspect the wound, "I know a thing or two about patching people up." She explained plainly.

The sky had grown so dark from the clouds above, a low grumble of thunder. Lightning then, a bright white flash, before it dissipated into more thunder. She didn't seem phased.

 

[Nej Tane]

She moved like water, fluid. Fluid and beautiful in motion.


He offered his hand to her, allowing her to patch up the cut as she saw fit to. He sat on the bed with her, feeling the space between them...lessen. And more than just physically. It dawned on him how utterly alone they were- and how she brought him where she was- and yet he didn't know what to say. Except-

"Hey I uh, really like you. I've been wondering what's gonna happen because my life isn't the most-" His free hand waved. "Stable, or you know. With the. Anyways. But I like you and I know that you're a Jedi and emotions are supposed to be bad and you can have your soul taken from you if you disobey things-" Not an ounce of sarcasm. Nej believed a lot of stupid things he heard about Jedi. Vehemently believed.

"But I like you and all. Even if you're a thousand years old."

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ King & Lionheart ~ "Howling ghost they reappear, in mountains that are stacked with fear; but you're a king and I'm a lionheart."
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It was a simple job, just bacta bandages to keep the cut clean and recovering. She listened as he spoke, let all his words soak in, even from before -- A gentle grin crossing her face as he mentioned her soul at risk.

"Okay. Um. If I have emotions," Her fingers briefly wandered over the bandage job she'd just done, a huff leaving her chest, "I don't lose my soul or anything. It's just something to be kept in line, because I feel a lot more intensely than others do. So if something happens to someone I care about; I could go off the deep end, y'know, to protect them, or avenge them..." She didn't expect him to understand right away, it was a layman's explanation after all.

Another exhale, and she continued, "But, from when I'm from, Jedi aren't allowed to even learn how to have emotions, for people, because they didn't trust us to control them," A smile that seemed a little more bashful crossed her face, "I didn't really listen to those rules, though. So. The thing. I--"

"I don't know what our thing could be. But it's sort of nice, isn't it?" And how could that be bad?

 

[Nej Tane]

Her eyes man- her eyes were like galaxies. I could get lost in them all day.


So that soul thing wasn't true. Which probably meant the thing with the lightsabers wasn't either...Nej had a blank look on his face for an idiot. He made an 'oh' sound after a while, as if he had just been told Life Day man wasn't real and wasn't going to drop off presents from his speeder.

Which Nej learned when he was....older.

"I'd like it better if both of us talked about it."

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ King & Lionheart ~ "And in the sea that's painted black, creatures lurk below the deck, but you're a king and I'm a lionheart."
——————————————————————

An exhale that was a little more tense worked it's way out of the Kiffar, her gaze tipped downwards, "I'm not very good at talking about it." She admitted quietly. Which was more than true. Even back when she'd in her own time, Ayessa didn't have the guts to admit anything then either. Or even talk them through. Unspoken regrets still haunted her like their ghosts.

"I don't really know... What to say." She finally said after a moment, her hand on his. Awkward, like a teenager processing emotion all over again and being unable to vocalize it. What did he want to hear? Oh, if only she had no morals, she'd dive into his mind without a second thought to find out what she had to say to keep this going. Another crack of lighting up ahead, turning the world white for a moment before darkness returned to engulf the space.

 

[Nej Tane]

Swear- that was my biggest, most nervous I've been. Like, ever. And I've been to prison, like, a lot. And I've robbed a lot.


What did he want her to say?

"Well- for starters you could compliment my new beard. I was going for the sideburns and goatee thing, but I like the beard a lot better....I mean, you could say stuff about my muscles-" Nej itched his head.

Her hand touched his. Cue stupid shit-eating grin. If Ayessa went into Nej's mind...she probably wouldn't find a whole lot. She'd find a lot, but none of it particularly useful. Or beneficial. Or legal in...pretty much every system in the galaxy.

"Or how- you know. We're both like. Falling for each other. And we don't know what to do with that. Because I guess it ended up badly for you last time too."

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ King & Lionheart ~ "And as the world comes to an end, I'll be here to hold your hand, 'cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart."
——————————————————————

He was always exceptional at making her laugh. At least, that's something she'd picked up on in their time together, "The beard's nice, I like it."

It didn't take long for the humour to trickle off, though, something a little emptier replacing it. It had ended bad last time for him too, apparently, and he knew somehow that her story had an unhappy ending too, "--Yeah. Died in the war." Thinking on the event only made something old, sore and angry wake inside Ayessa, so she suppressed thoughts on the events for now; 800 years. Time to let go of things too old to matter. More thunder drew her eyes upwards, briefly locking with his before studying his patch-job of the roof, the way it kept the rain out, the way the storm moved on over them.

"I won't ask what happened to you. If you don't want to share."

 

[Nej Tane]

Clicked man, just- clicked. Whole picture, into focus at once.

Nej took a deep sigh, then smiled. At least he got her to laugh once and a while. He could always count on that. He locked eyes with her, before he moved his eyes up to the ceiling as well. He sat there, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain and the rolling thunder.

"She died. Met her end at the end of a gun. Lived by the gun- died by it."

He took a swig of the water he brought and leaned back against the wall.

"So. You gonna talk about it or keep dodging the question?"

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ hold on ~ "In your skin, in your hair, I'm tangled up, in my head, in my mind, I can't get out."
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Ultimatums were never handled lightly by her. This one, though, she treated more carefully than any given to the former General before.

"I..." Her voice trailed off, watching his face a little helplessly. There was her own storm of emotions across her face, conflicting and confused, unsure what to say in order to make the low feeling of nervousness in her chest go away. Finally, she swallowed, looked to the side at the floor, a sentence sighing out, "I like you."

"I like you." Ayessa reaffirmed softly, her fingers loosely twining with those on his bandaged hand, gaze nervously affixed downwards. Why was it so hard to simply speak? It shouldn't be this difficult to string sentences together, she'd been doing it all her life, "But I've never tried at-- A relationship before. Or something even close to that. I don't think I'd be very good, is what I'm saying." It was skittish, raw truth.

 

[Nej Tane]

How do you tell a girl you want to kiss her?


It was an eternity and a half waiting for her to speak. And then, time wouldn't matter anymore after that. Because for the rest of his life, Nej would remember those words. They were burned into him, like dates on a grave.

"I don't think you'd be good at it either."

He nudged her with his elbow.

"I think we'll be great together. A Jedi and a smuggler."

He opened a bag of preserved cookies, popping one into his mouth. He offered the bag to her.

"I like you too- although...could have picked a better first date."

[member="Ayessa Kroan"]

 

[Ayessa Kroan]

Kiffu, Clan Kroan's Remnants, Undetermined Time
Interacting with [member="Nej Tane"] ~ hold on ~ "When you twist and you turn, teach me to run, I grab and hold on; I grab and hold on tight."
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At once he put her to ease, a smile blooming on her face, "Yeah, you probably could have. Pickpocketing me wasn't your best call, either," Fingers gratefully dove into the bag of cookies to snatch one or two, "Jedi and a smuggler, it sounds like the plot of a story with bad reviews, doesn't it?" Ayessa managed a gentle laugh, scarfing down her snack quietly.

But then she leaned against Nej just a bit, shoulder to shoulder, the side of her head brushing against his, "Well. I've never been a quitter." More thunder overhead. It sounded like it was escalating, perhaps the storm was reaching it's peak.

There was a tranquility to be found, though. Something swelled inside the Jedi, something old, weary, but full of longing. Could a moment last forever?