Star Wars RP

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Approved NPC Needles

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Acaleus Thorn

CEO of Enryu Corp
  • [SIZE=9pt]Intent[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: To create a stealth infantry[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Image[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Credit: [/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Role[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: A strike stealth team lead by Acaleus Thorn[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Links[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: N/A[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Availability[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Rare [/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Deployment[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Limited [/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Strengths:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Trained in stealth arts, infantry basics (Regular at fighting)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Knows about engineering, piloting ships from different species (Can repair machinery with the resources at the moment and they are good at piloting ships)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Ranged combat [/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=9pt]Weaknesses[/SIZE]:
[SIZE=9pt]Light armor (The suit has been modified to provide the user with provides the user with movement, it will be less resistant agains damage)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]They sually works in squads, and not in battalion (Aren´t as effective if they are in the frontline on a battle field, than in a close location)[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=9pt]Description[/SIZE]:

[SIZE=9pt]“Its almost impossible to find a needle in a haystack” Enryu Corp opens his door to a training group to provide security of his facilities and guard its assets and for any assignment that needed to be. The Needles. Only accepted humanoid species to fit in the suits. Each member is trained in stealth’s arts, shooting and close combat, but Enryu Corp goes beyond training a mindless infantry. In any mission they would be eager to learn about the location, any object or transport nearby, time of entry and who piloting what would be the extract. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Each one are trained to complete the mission, to risk their live not because they can be waste away, but because in not doing so another needle could die. The feeling of partnership was strong, and if anyone thought it was a waste of time or insult it, he/she wouldn’t knew tomorrow. They can be assassins or be used as an elite squad for assault missions[/SIZE]

Neri Rashal

[member="Acaleus Thorn"]

I'm going to handle this so we can get both your subs pending as easily as possible.

First I need you to link to your company in 'affiliation.'

In the body of the sub itself I'm seeing some contradictions. You list ranged weapons in their equipment, but explain them later as close quarters specialists with melee weapons not listed in their equipment. Please either change the equipment or the strength.

You also show them being lightly armored but don't list an armor in the equipment at all. If they are armored please include that in equipment or else change the weakness to reflect them being unarmored.

With both of those, either solution is acceptable, but as this sub stands the equipment does not match up to the listed strengths/weaknesses at all.
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