Need an Advice or an opinion on how you think of this planet government structure.

[Yaha-Kui ZaShunina Kitsune]

(Please write your opinion here, not on my "planet" template....)




Hello! I'm having some trouble proceeding on my planet (Link Here, but don't write in there but here, please!), though I need some advice or opinions.
You are not allowed: to be rude, judgmental, or bring real politics into this; negative comments, anything that has negative attributes.
Allowed: Be friendly; if you don't like my idea, then don't reply or comment; positive comments.


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[Junko Ike]

Reading it initially... I would remove chinese/japanese references... While it makes sense for you Star wars has canon verseions and chaos even more.

For the government that is just a large throw everything at the wall. When me and Sor-Jan Xantha were working on describing Atrisian Government we kept it simple and said what we wanted it to do functionality wise. (heavy focus on the people and raising everyone under the direction of a sole ruler to make decisions in the galactic scene. While incorporating what was Atrisian in the legends canon (emperror and large dose of military doctrine)

Out right wanting to just automatically rival Coruscant is hard.. it has been the galactic center for tens of thousands of years... has one of the largest populations of any planet in the galaxy and is literally on the map as the galactic center. Worlds like Nar Shadda, Denon might be able to be like it but have rarely rivaled it. I would say have the world there and as you develop it in threads (if it is part of a faction as a capital) you can expand it, add more lore over the years to show it growing in populatiry and importance.

 

[Hild Valor]

You could create a custom species to reference them instead of Japanese/Chinese references.

The 'rival to Coruscant' is repeated too often in the document. I'd suggest you first pick another planet (Because as mentioned above, Coruscant is the king of the galactic hill for a long time) and mention said economic/growth rivalry and comparison only when needed.

And I think there are some parts you could summarize a bit and add some flaws and problems. Or make the culture as a whole less perfect. Flaws and issues can easily add flavor to make a backstory more exciting. You have progress and an evolved society with enough economy to rival Coruscant (a planet with several issues as we can see in the Underworld area. They have literal zombie-like creatures somewhere down there) but not enough struggles and problems to justify getting that far.

In short, I'd advice: Summarize some parts. Pick a planet other than Coruscant for economic rivalry. Add more flaws to the culture. Maybe ask player-run companies if they'd like to do rp with companies on your world for mutual profit.

Hope that helps.

 

[Corbin Vasher]

The Nagai are sort of inspired by Japanese. By anime actually...

 

[Roth Likonis]

The Epicanthix as well ^

 

[Hild Valor]

With a canon race you might have an easier time with creating the planet, because that species already has an existing culture you can work with.
With an original race you'll probably have to work a lot more, but you will handcraft every detail to suit your creative needs.

 

[Ham Salad]

I might suggest using Neimoidia and the surrounding Purse Worlds as the economic rival and/or the stand-in for Japan.