Private Nalah-dah: The Resolute Way

[Ever Dawnracer]

Ciomia, Jedi Temple, 4 years ago

Adder Dawnracer had died peacefully on the family farm at a decent age. Beside him were those he loved and who loved him. By all accounts, it was more than most people were ever afforded. Dying in luxury, at peace, was beyond the majority of their perilous galaxy. Everywhere one looked they would find more strife and heartache. Even though Nadiem was part of the Exiles and no longer a home of the Republic, it still knew peace and prosperity. That was the way Ever wanted to remember it, and why she had to leave.

The logical choice had at first been to look for those who had left. The fleet could have kept them safe, but it had disappeared along with the Grand Admiral. There wasn't a trace of them to be found. The same was the case for the Galaxy Tree. The refugee housing station had disappeared to who knew where while taking a large part of their populace with it. They were abandoned, and that was how the last vestiges of the Republic had come to be housed solely on the world of Ciomia. It was a safe place in the sense it wasn't easy to reach, but it was a very dangerous place, which was why she'd chosen to go there in the first place. The only thing that could take her mind off of what had happened was to put herself into danger as a means of training. Ciomia offered the best training a Ranger could ask for.

The rest of the rangers were housed in the capital. She alone left to venture into the dangers of the forest. Roughing it wasn't her immediate goal. That sort of training was important, but she needed another sort of training before she dared to stay in the wilds overnight.

Instead, she made her way to the Jedi temple she knew was hidden within the trees in an old ship graveyard. It was a risky journey, but in the daytime, it wasn't that difficult. She arrived without any more scratches than one could expect from a trip through the forest. Given the circumstances, the door was sealed shut and there was no guard on the outside. To gain entry she had to press the chime to the side of the door and wait. Unlike most places, there was no automated droid entry system. Jedi didn't prefer such things as they usually wanted to greet those who came calling in person. So it was that an Ithorian Jedi opened the door to see her standing there.

"Ms. Dawnracer. This is a surprise."

"Duru," she said, inclining her head. "I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you would have returned home by now."

"Ciomia is my home, now," he said, stepping to the side and waving a hand. "Please come in."

She stepped past him and into the inner workings of the great ship that had become the Jedi temple. It wasn't as cold as she expected it to be. There was a myriad of plantings growing in all manner of pots and planters within. Pleasant ambient lighting added to the calming effect. She traced a hand over the fronds of one small plant and was delighted to find that it responded to her touch by curling its leaves down upon itself. No doubt it was some sort of defense mechanism to keep from getting eaten or chopped down. Very curious, but she wasn't there to study plants even though doing so might be beneficial.

"So what can we do for you, Ms. Dawnracer?"

"I've come to see what I can learn here," she said, stopping to face him. "I don't want to be a Jedi by any means, but if I want to be strong enough to face the perils of this galaxy I need to become stronger and I thought you all might be able to help me with that."

"Most of what we have here is geared towards the Force. I'm not sure how much we can help you."

"Hmm?" she asked, frowning before realization dawned on her and she tapped a hand to her neck. "Right, this should help."

The gaiter she always wore peeled itself away and she stuck the vong tech into her pocket.

"Interesting. You were intentionally cutting yourself off from the Force?" Duru asked as he looked at her pocket.

"I was. Safest way to deal with Force combatants is to limit their offense," she said, shrugging. "This seemed a logical solution."

"I see. Well, follow me. I think some library studies might be a good place for you to start."

The Ithorian started off and she made to follow. Though she'd never been much of a book enthusiast, she didn't doubt what the Jedi Knight had to say. They tended to have extensive libraries, and if she was going to find something to help her that didn't require her to become a Jedi, the library was the best place to start. Granted they probably didn't have any actual books to read. Most of the libraries were stored on datapads or in holocrons, as she understood it. Still, if he thought she'd find what she needed there, she wouldn't argue. It beat banging her head against the wall.

 

[Ever Dawnracer]

It was a surprise to find that they did have a few books in the library. They were very old, and only one of them held anything of value to her. Most of their information was stored on data discs and in old holocrons that she found she could somehow access just by holding and thinking about it, provided she wasn't wearing her gaiter. Having no training in the Force, something that was intentional for her, she found it puzzling that she could so easily access the information contained within the holocrons. Perhaps their creators hadn't wanted to keep the information inside a secret. Or, perhaps, they only kept it a secret from those who could do nothing with their guidance.

She flipped the page of flimsi to the next. The chairs in the library were far more comfortable than they looked and she'd curled up in one of them for the past several hours, reading through the text. She wasn't researching techniques. In fact, she wasn't looking to really learn anything to do with the Force itself so much as she was looking to learn more about her own body and how to strengthen it. Lifting weights was all well and good, but there were aspects of the body that could only be strengthened by working on the mind, not the body.

The source of the book wasn't clear to her. It was written in a tongue she didn't know, but someone had translated it into basic in the space between the words. The writing itself was ancient, the flimsi barely able to hold itself together. She took great care to keep it from falling apart in her hands. Duru would not be pleased with her if the book got ruined while she was reading it. Turning another page, she read about the state of the mind being linked, but different from, the state of the body. Everything boiled down to settling one's mental state in order to free the mind of the necessity for emotion and feeling that it normally felt.

"Finding it an interesting read?"

She almost dropped the book in startlement before looking over her shoulder to find the Ithorian Jedi standing there. How long has he been looking over my shoulder? she wondered before taking a breath and looking back down at the book. It was difficult to say if she was enjoying the read or not, but the information was important for her, even if the task it necessitated was a difficult one for her given the fact she'd just lost her father after losing everything she had worked for. Her mental state was not one that was easy to shed.

"It's informative," she said, tapping a finger against the pages of the book. "At the least, it gives me plenty to dwell on."

"The Matukai were a very learned group of individuals. Their practice of the Force was profoundly different from the way in which I and the other Jedi practice it. Is this the type of learning which you seek?"

"I think it is. I do not wish to use the Force as you do, Duru. I've never wanted to be a Jedi. I don't want to wield a lightsaber and be sent around to solve everyone's problems through diplomacy. Most importantly I never want to find myself thinking I'm better than anyone else. While I have not seen that from you, I have seen it from others."

"It is a somewhat common problem, I agree."

"Is there anything else about these Matukai?"

"Yes," Duru said as he made his way past her. "I will collect it while you read."

"Thanks," she said before turning back to the book.

Matukai. An interesting people. I think I quite like them.

 

[Ever Dawnracer]

She devoured everything the temple had on the Matukai and their teachings. There was plenty of it, though she knew what they had only scratched the surface of the knowledge that was probably out in the larger galaxy. It was enough, however, for her to understand exactly what it meant to be one, and exactly how to teach herself the abilities they possessed. It wasn't far away from what she'd grown up doing. The combat style she'd adopted over the years would lend itself well to her learning. Especially given her use of the blaster stave that the Ranger's utilized as their primary weapon. It seemed the Matukai favored polearms.

The day she finished the last of the reading she left the library and made her way through the wrecked ship to a larger room that had once been many smaller rooms. Several walls had been removed, the remaining ones padded and the floor smoothed down before being ground to give a grit for gripping. It was obvious the room was meant for training, and it was for that reason that she chose it. Well, that and it wasn't occupied by some Jedi or other in the middle of training a pupil. There wasn't a lot of Jedi on Ciomia, but there were a few.

The center of the room drew her, and she settled to a seat with her legs drawn up beneath her. The key to everything was in centering the self, finding balance, freeing the mind of desires and extraneous thoughts. For many, this would be extremely difficult. The idea of pushing all thoughts out of the mind, all emotions, was difficult to fathom. She'd struggled for so long with the pain of her father's loss and the pain of abandonment from much of those who had once been her allies. The Republic was gone, and there was only a handful of them left. If anything they were an exiled group. But, that was beside the point. I'm supposed to stop thinking, she reminded herself.

Deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

She focused on a point in her mind, feeding everything that appeared into it until there was nothing but the point. For hours she sat and simply stared at the point, knowing that somewhere within it was her connection to the Force, the same one she'd previously sought to suppress, the one she'd rejected because she didn't want to be a Jedi and she didn't want to fall into the pit that would draw her to the dark side. Now there was nothing but the pure and simple Force, waiting for her, calling to her. She did not reach out to grab it.

Instead, she opened her body to it. Much like opening the tap on an old water spout to release a torrent of water, the Force suddenly flooded into her. He seeped into her every pore, her every muscle, organ, and bone. It became her until there was nothing about her that was not the Force. When her eyes snapped open they were pure white, but she could see everything as though they were normal. She felt it, then: the urge to move. It called to her and she began by shifting to her stomach, planting her hands on the floor, and shoving off, sending herself into a flip that nearly ground her into the ceiling. But she caught herself against it with a single foot, redirected, and dropped lazily to the ground.

A smile crossed her face.

And just like that, the control was gone.