There were many beings who had tried to break Sakadi Sinvala's resolve. Many doubts that had gnawed at her mind, and too much evil that had tried to snuff out her blazing presence in the Force. But none of it had ever succeeded in breaking down the walls around her heart and reach the isolated well of emotion she had so attentively guarded and studied. The code had taught her that to understand the Living Force was to understand one's emotions. To be able to judge impartially, one had to be able to set aside one's pain, anger, fear and grief. Only then would the Force offer its guidance.
But that was what exactly what she lacked. Guidance. There was a noticeably weak spot in the wall surrounding her heart. One aptly named 'the past'. It had endured for so long. But now, after repeated attacks, that section of the wall was crumbling. It was an amalgamation of guilt and fear that tore it down, all tied to a single focal point in her past. One that had received its fatal blow no less than a day ago.
A minor mission had brought one of the Jedi Knights to a fringe system, bordering Silver Concord space. The Knight's report spoke of an intercepted message. A desperate cry for help from the planet she had abandoned. All because she, 'the wise and brave' Master Sinvala, could not confront her own sister. It was what broke her. What had sent her back to cower on Kashyyyk and shy away from active duty. She had abandoned her own people in fear of the past. And now she carried the blame for their suffering.
But there was a chance to make amends. Although she couldn't help but wonder; was this the will of the Force, or her own misguided attempt driven by emotion? Sakadi had no answers. Nor did she wish to share something so personal with those close to her. Her former Padawan, Cas Tynen, knew that something was up. But she didn't want to show him this side of hers. No, if she would express her doubts, she would do so to someone who's wisdom and understanding she judged to be on par, or far beyond her own. That person happened to be fellow Master Amaly Naetre.
A few dozen strides took her to the right corridor of Silver Rest. The one where she hoped to find Master Naetre in her office. And luckily, she did.
Sakadi would knock on the doorframe, before making her usual gesture from the Sephi's temple to the Jedi she wished to speak to. The indication that she was going to speak telepathically was often far more appreciated than her reaching out without warning.
"Pardon me Master Naetre, but could you spare a moment of your time?" The disembodied voice echoed, her tone being as respectful as it could be. The Sephi knew her only by name, for she never had been given the pleasure of getting to know her fellow Jedi Master. "I do not think we have met before, but I would like to ask for your assistance...."
Amaly Naetre's office was not alike the typical office one might expect of a person in her position. There were no desk nor personal terminal, no holovision nor paintings on the wall; it did in fact look entirely bland with the exception of the comfortable furniture that filled the room. Two couches, three single-seaters and two meditation pads nearby a rather useless window were it not for her guests whom might enjoy the view, for the Jedi Master was a Miralukan woman and she saw not the same sight as most, but rather through her knowledge, and her people's connection to the Force itself.
Seated upon one of the meditation cushions, she found her attention caught by the growing presence and sudden awareness to the telepathic connection that had been established via the will of one Sakadi Marathi Sinvala
, although she had not found herself in the pleasure of such welcome company before now.
My door is open to you, Master Sinvala.
It was a response offered in the same means as her fellow Jedi had greeted her, the art of telepathic communication a well-learned skill for she who followed the path of the Consular. Sakadi's growing proximity to Amaly's office would be a noticed one, and reaching out through her control of the Force, Amaly triggered the doors locking mechanism to deactivate and for the entrance to open for the newcomer.
Rising to her feet, her formal dress draped over her, loose and hiding even her boots while her Jedi tunic fastened her upper half comfortably. She was a woman who took pride in her dress sense and even more so in the traditional garments of the Jedi of old. As well as their ideologies, teachings and temple etiquette for which she shared through a formal bow to her fellow Silver Jedi, a smile to grace her lips whilst her cowl covered everything above the nose.
"It is nice to meet you in person, Master Sinvala" Amaly greeted her this time in spoken word, "What may I do for you?" she added further; although there was no haste to her tone, merely intrigue and a desire to be of service.
A warm smile played about the Sephi's lips once the telepathic response came. A part of her still wanted to turn around and dismiss that which plagued her mind, but that option was now permanently unavailable. The only way out was going through.
"I'd like to ask for your advice on a personal matter." She 'spoke', purple lips still unmoving as she made her way into the minimalistic office. Her gaze briefly shifting through the room, before her lilac eyes settled on her fellow Master. It was both strange and calming to meet one with a disability much like her own. One could not see, the other could not speak, were it not for the Living Force. "I fear my own judgement may be clouded since..." The Sephi paused briefly, choosing her next words carefully. "I had a conflict of interest last time I tried."
Only a handful of Jedi knew where she came from or who she used to be. The Sephi did not talk openly about her past, preferring to dismiss or change the subject whenever it came up. Not even those closest to her knew a thing about the Jedi Master's past.
Sakadi sat down on the meditation pad opposite of Amaly Naetre
, taking a moment to straighten her white overtunic. She retained her grace even as she sat on the soft cushion, posture both elegant and rigid while her folded hands rested in her lap.
"Were you, by any chance, present during the battle of Myrkr?"
Amaly offered a simple nod, acknowledging the entry of Sakadi Marathi Sinvala
, followed by her words of personal duress. Seating herself on the nearby cushion, the Jedi Master's hands returned to sit lightly within her lap, fingers laced loosely and her shoulders relaxed and at ease.
There was never any inconvenience or trouble in sharing ones personal time with fellow Jedi big or small, and Amaly was always fond of the notion that she may be able to offer some semblance of advice to those in need.
"A conflict of interest you say?" Amaly echoed with a faint smile. Obviously for Sakadi there would be no pleasure in the fact, however, for Amaly one's personal woes were ever an opportunity to commune with others in the hope of finding solace from a secondary perspective.
"For those of us who seek to do right in all area's of our lives where possible, I've found that so easily we can be swayed by our fears when most often they're smaller than they initially appear. Let us hope the same can be said for yourself?" Amaly remarked with a rhetorical question, there being no doubt in her wish to see Sakadi's troubles set at ease.
"I was thankfully not on Myrkr at the time, no" She concluded.