Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved NPC Mortem Squad

Status
Not open for further replies.

Kylo Kyr'am

Clan Kyr'am Alor'ad/Grim legion Leader
5tys1l.jpg



OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
▪ Intent: commando unit for the Grim Legion

▪ Image Credit: https://www.deviantart.com/magictalent1499/art/Another-idea-vote-which-one-i-should-choose-601240227


▪ Role: Highly trained mercenary soldiers for the Grim Legion military

▪ Links: N/A


GENERAL INFORMATION
▪ Unit Name: Mortem Squad


▪ Affiliation: The Grim Legion

▪ Classification: Commando

▪ Equipment: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/DXR-6_disruptor_rifle
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/SE-14r_light_repeating_blaster
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/C-25_fragmentation_grenade
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sonic_Imploder



COMBAT INFORMATION
▪ Availability: uncommon

▪ Deployment: Mass

▪ Strengths & Weaknesses:
Strengths
+ The unit is highly trained in hand to hand combat
+ The unit is highly trained in firearms
+ The unit is highly trained in strategy and survival
+ The unit is highly trained in melee combat
+ The unit has armor that is resistant to blasters
+ The unit has armor that makes them very difficult to be caught on radars And scanners


Weaknesses:
- The Unit is weak in combat of heavy artillery and explosives
- The unit cant stand too long in cold environments
- The unit don't have training in space fights
- The unit likes to separate making it easy to take them down
- The Unit has no protection against EMP's and ION Explosions.
- The unit has no defence against force powers

▪ Description: The Mortem Squad go through a very tough boot camp and training program regime to make them into great warriors. Their armor is made of Duraplast with a tri Prismatic polymer making them resistant to blasters, somewhat resistant to lightsabers and making them invisible to radars and scanners. The armor is in multiple pieces, forearms, arms, shoulders, full torso, legs, helmet, neck, and boots. The wear armorweave cargo pants over their armored leggings. The mask has a comlink, night and thermal visions, range finder, targeting scanners, and a rebreather to filter out all toxins and gases. The armor however does not protect from extreme environments. The troopers are heavily trained in several styles of hand to hand combat, firearms of all types and survival and strategy making them superior to the average common infantry trooper. Their weapons are that of a DXR-6 Disruptor rifle, SE-14r light repeating blaster, 3 C-25 fragmentation grenade's, and 2 sonic imploders.
 
[member="Kylo Kyr'am"]

Overall I think this looks solid. I just have a few things I need to address on my end.

Kylo Kyr'am said:
Their armor is made of Duraplast with a tri Prismatic polymer making them resistant to blasters, somewhat resistant to lightsabers and making them invisible to radars and scanners.
Two issues I am seeing with this line. The first is that it seems to contradict your listed weakness about this unit being weak to lightsabers. Please change the language here, or swap out your last weakness for something different.

The second is your use of the word "invisible". That would imply some form of cloaking tech, which is not something we would normally allow on a unit of this availability and deployment. You can change the language to something like "distorts" or "interferes" with scanners, but even then I would ask you to reduce their availability to uncommon or deployment to minor.
 
[member="Kylo Kyr'am"]

Couple of issues that still need to be ironed out.

Right now, you list that Personal Cloaking device in your equipment, which does a particular thing (make folks invisible to the naked eye), but in your strengths you list 'invisible to radar'. These two things are not the same, just changing the strength doesn't change that the equipment you have on them makes them invisible to the naked eye. These need to actually match, rather than linking one thing and saying another. If you want to say that the 'invisible to radar' is from the armor, then I need you to remove the personal cloaking device from the equipment list, and change 'invisible' to 'difficult to detect'. If you want their armor to make them 'invisible' to anything, that will require a factory sub for the armor.

That said- I can't approve a unit that is mass deployed with personal cloaking devices on the entire unit. I know Zark said either or, but unfortunately it is more restricted than that. Personal Cloaking devices are on the Restricted Materials list- which means they are limited to Unique or Semi-Unique production in the factory (unless you have a T6 company, in which case it's limited). If you want to have that personal cloaking device, this unit must be lowered to Unique availability and Limited deployment. You can instead remove it if you would rather and make that change to that strength.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom