Private Moment of Truth

[Elryn Freestar]

Tython
Deep Core
Noon

​

Tython, it was a planet he'd never been to but had read a lot about back on Silver Rest, thanks to its significance in Jedi history. Eleven wasn't sure as to why they were coming, Master Yenna had probaly informed him but the details had already slipped his mind completely as the boy was still reeling from the events of the 'expedition' a short time prior, deeply affected by what he'd encountered.

The young Padawan recalled landing on the once-Jedi homeworld not that long prior, but what occured after was anyone's guess as he went into a mental autopilot, going with the flow as he replayed the events of the 'expedition' over and over again in his mind. One moment he was exiting the loading ramp and the next Eleven could feel the smell of trees hit his nose, and crashing waterfalls reach his ears. "Huh?" he said glumly, snapping back to reality from the surroundings around him.

Eleven stopped in place to take a moment in order to take in his surroundings. The Kiffar's body remained stiff, frozen in place, while his head and neck seemed to be the only things moving as Eleven scanned the area. "Where are we?" El asked glumly as he lazily ran a hand through his hair, lowering his head to realise that he was currently stood in a shallow lake that didn't even reach to the top of his feet. Eleven's gaze followed the bank as it led to slightly deeper waters up ahead of him.

Suddenly, he felt something as if a warm ray of sunlight has hit his cheeks - although he stood nowhere near the sun's rays currently. Eleven touched his cheek slightly and followed the feeling with his eyes, looking toward a cave entrance where the warm feeling he felt only grew stronger. "Master, what is this place?" he asked again, slowly trudging through the water and cautiously drawning near to the cave's entrance. Whatever it was he was feeling, it didn't take a genius to figure out it was related to the Force in some way - everything was at this point.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

It was finally time for El to become an official Jedi. He was still a padawan, they still had a long way to go before he could be knighted. But a lightsaber was a Jedi's badge of office, a beacon for the galaxy to know they were there to help, and Yenna was greatly honoured to organise this trip for him. On top of it all, she was proud. Daily training, laughs, thick and thin, they were together just as she was with her master. She still caught herself seeing Cas in him, but those moments were waning with every passing day.

He was himself. No matter what anyone said, he was El. A Jedi padawan, pretty much a son, and the realization dawned on her that she would do anything for the boy in her power. Jedi weren't supposed to form attachments this tightly, not with their padawans, the risk of losing them could be dangerous to their masters if things went wrong. She didn't care. The temptation of the Darkness was an old friend by now, a little voice that plagued her constantly, reminding her of the people she lost and the people she would lose over the course of her unfairly long life. So she had to make the most of this while she could, and make peace with the fact that she would one day have to say goodbye to El forever.

She had to make sure that there were no regrets when that day came.

Exiting the ship, Yenna led El towards a sacred cave not too far from where they landed. Tython was a sacred planet for the Jedi, it was where they began for the most part. The Light was strong with the planet, it was a delight to visit and explore. It was serene to feel the Force around them as they walked to the mouth of the cave.

She turned to look up at El with a broad smile as he asked about the cave. "A cave, it seems." She joked with a snicker as she faced him fully. "A crystal cave, to be exact. Right for you, I feel the time is, for your own." She continued on a more serious note as she unclipped and held up her lightsaber hilt. "Come on. Some nuance to this, there is." She admitted to him as she turned to lead him into the cave.

Once inside, things became rather troublesome when a large stone slab seemingly started to close up the mouth of the cave behind them. After a sigh, Yenna took a deep breath and looked around. The only light coming into the cave were holes and cracks in the ceiling. "Ah. One of those, this is." She commented casually.

To her, it was simply a cave with some glistening now and then. The force was there, and she knew what the cave was, but there was no song or call to her. For Eleven, however, things would likely be a lot different. "A call, do you hear? Like a song of some sort?" She asked calmly as she walked over to a stone pillar and sat down cross-legged. Her lightsabers were neatly laid out in front of her. "Years ago, a journey like this as well, I did. For a Jedi, a great honour this is. What I taught you, do you remember? Of what a lightsaber is for us?" She spoke as she lowered her hood and ran a hand through her hair.

"A great responsibility it is. Test you, the Force will. What will happen, I do not know. But true to yourself, you must remain. Stay the course, and keep your mind open. No way out, there is for us now. Only together can we lift that door. Either success or death, there is for us. Either we emerge and you have a crystal, or we don't emerge at all." She shrugged gently as her eyes closed for a moment before a chuckle escaped her. "No pressure." She quipped softly. "Time, we have. Any questions or concerns, do you have? Aside from being trapped, that is." She was remarkably relaxed in the moment, seemingly enjoying it. But she had faith. She trusted that her boy would emerge victorious, and that they would escape the cave.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

"I know that, Master." Eleven argued, not realising Yenna was just being jovial. Continuing toward the cave, he listened to what the Jedi Knight had to say to him. Upon hearing "crystal cave" Eleven immediately stopped in place and turned to look at his Master "You mean--?" lips parting slightly in surprise, the Padawan turned to look back at the cave's entrance, ears warming up and heart beat elevating. This was it. All his training had led to this moment and he wasn't sure if he was even ready. The memories had helped him in his journey but he couldn't always rely on them, when it came to his own skill Eleven still felt completely under-qualified.

Body going stiff, his arms hung low and he felt his sweaty palms as he balled his fingers into fists. I can't do this... he thought to himself. A series of worst-case scenarios flooded his mind before Eleven forced them to stop, forming a metaphorical dam in his mind, blocking them all from overwhelming him. The Padawan let out a calm sigh and followed his Master inside the cave.

It was dark, but the light from outside at least managed to illuminate the inside. The groaning sound of a stone slab's movement managed to startle Eleven, forcing him to jump in place "What--?!" the boy exclaimed as he spun around to just catch the stone slab plugged the light from outside entering in. Panic began to set in and he didn't do anything to hide it "W-what do you mean i-it's 'one of those?'" Eleven asked, fearful. The boy's breathing sped up and grew more frequent. Eleven definitely wasn't ready for this.

He felt himself begin to calm as a sound reached his ears - it was strange, calming, as if he felt the sounds vibrating through his body. Eleven couldn't describe what he was hearing but it was... harmonic? Like high pitched octaves created from the light tapping of a drumstick to hollow crystals. Eleven closed his eyes and embraced the feelings the, music? Gave him. "Y-yeah... I can hear... something?" gently opening his eyes, he looked down at his Master "Can't you hear it?"

The boy took a step forward, closer to the dim lights that shone through the cracks and crevices within the cave. "Uh yeah..." Eleven answered, recalling to their earlier lessons "Its a symbol... a badge of honor, right? A status of our committment to the Jedi Ways." it was weird, out of nowhere, Eleven suddenly felt more confident as he stood upright with his chest almost puffed out and fingers curled into fists.

"Any questions or concerns, do you have?"

"Yeah." he answered, a small smile grew "Isn't all of this a bit extreme?" he half-joked before making his way to the "music" he was hearing. Eleven knew whenever he was on the right track as the music seemed to grow louder and the vibrations within his body felt heavier, more frequent. "Did you come here to find your crystal, Master?" he asked, both curious and to make conversation.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

His surprise and panic was perfectly understandable, she was ready to quell his fears if they took over. Luckily he seemed to calm down again and indulged in her small talk. She slowly shook her head in response to his question before her golden eyes met his gaze. "Nothing, I hear. Except for the birds and the wind. My journey, this is not. Calling out to me, no crystals are. All for you, this is." Her smile grew for a moment. "A proud moment, this is." She admitted gently before her thoughts returned to his previous concerns. "Some caves were made into temples. Traps were installed, to test the people entering. For normal people, death, this is. For us? An important test. Escape, we will not, if this journey ends in failure. Fortunate, you are. A test like this, I never had. Disappointed, I was." She continued with a laugh.

She nodded gently to his answer over lightsabers, a lesson she made sure to teach him early on, before he voiced his questions. She rose from her seat and paced around a bit. "Extreme? Definitely. But a good test, it is. True Jedi only survive these. Do this, you can." She reassured him. He want on to ask if this was the place where she got her own, a question she found rather intriguing and even a bit nostalgic. "No... on Ilum, I was. About twenty years ago by now. Those tests pushed me. Punished me. A flawed being, I was back then. Still am. But this planet?" Her hand ran along the cave wall for a moment. "Special, this is."

She turned to face him again and gestured for him to kneel. Once he was close enough, she took hold of his shirt collar and gave a gentle tug. "Proud of you, I am, El. Failure or triumph, I could not ask for a better padawan. Mistakes, I made. Mistakes I want to make right. But no matter what, faith in you, I have. And proud, I am, of you." She planted a gentle kiss on his forehead before letting go with a broad grin. "Now go. Stay true, and keep an open mind. And El... with you, may the Force be." She gestured to the entrance that led deeper into the cave as she made her way back to her original spot.

With a smile and a content sigh, she sat down again and closed her eyes.

Time for the waiting game...

**********​

The deeper the cave went, the prettier it became. The cave was lit up with dim lights shining from crystals naturally lining the walls. The air was damp, yet comfortably warm. It soon changed, though, turning colder and colder as El went deeper into the cave. The song of his crystal beckoned him forward even at crossroads or tunnels venturing in different directions, it always led him true.

Things became off, however, when a tunnel led to a bizarre spectacle. It looked like a bar built inside the temple. The bartender, a human cleaning some glasses, didn't even seem to notice him at all. Another figure, sitting by the counter with a glass of whiskey, did. She turned to look at him with a smile. "Cas?" Her smile faded quickly into practical disgust as she studied El for a moment. "You ain't Cas. The kriff are you?" She asked, anger brewing in her voice. Her left hand caressed a blaster pistol holstered beneath her right arm as she knocked back the drink and glared at him. "You deaf or something? What the kriff are you?"

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

The Padawan stood in place, staring at his destiny ahead of him and continued listening to what Yenna had to say. Yenna's faith in him always served to boost his resolve, Eleven always found away to wallow in self-doubt but Yenna was always there to pick him back up. Words couldn't describe how grateful he was for her, her support, her care-- just... everything. In a time where he was still discovering himself and formulating his identity, Yenna was always his rock, always there to hold him up when he fell.

She explained to him that she acquired her own lightsaber crystal on the planet Illum, she described the tests having pushed her... and punished her. It worried him about his own trials to come but he was adament in completing them. Returning his gaze back to his Master, he followed her gesture and kneeled in front of her. She hugged him. Whatever nervousness he had left was quickly washed away as the boy melted in his Master's embrace, returning her hug. Her kiss upon his forehead sent warm tremors throughout his body, with a confident nod El smiled at his Master before rising to his feet and making his way toward the entrance but not before stopping.

Eleven turned to face the little green Jedi Knight "Master..." he called out "You're not flawed. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." the boy flashed her a warm smile and turned to head deeper into the cave, following the music and vibrations he felt.

As he trailed deeper inside the cave, he reflected on the relationship he had with Yenna and the bond they shared. Master Yenna was something of a maternal figure in his life, hell, she was the closest thing he ever had to a mother, period. The Padawan was well aware of the frowned upon nature of attachments within the Jedi but having spent so long alone and longing for a connection, it was a near-impossible thing to resist.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Eleven continued along the path, memsorised by the shining crystals he passed along the way before closing his eyes, focusing on the harmonic frequency that the kyber crystal calling out to him emitted. The warmth he felt from the crystals soon began to grow cold, so cold that Eleven opened his eyes to see the warm air escape his breath.

Eventually, the song led him... somewhere. Had some kind of secret bar been hidden within the temple all this time? But he recalled Yenna mentioning that regular people never made it out alive in here. Was she wrong? Eleven approached the bar and nervously cleared his throat "Uh... e-excuse me. What is this--" Eleven trailed off, realising that the bartender paid no attention to him.

"Cas?"

Eleven's ears perked and he cast the smiling woman beside him a side long glance. Was she talking to him? Eleven's head spun round as he searched for who she could be talking to. Sheepishly but apologetically, Eleven placed his hand in the centre of his chest "I'm sorry, I'm not--" the boy suddenly clasped the sides of his head in pain, releasing a pained grunt "Agh!" he exclaimed as a series of memories, memories of this woman crashed into him like a truck.

The boy struggled to find his centre as broken memories and reality overlapped, the sounds of laughter, speeders and the woman's aggressive voice asking Eleven what he was, the smell of smoke. Memories from a life that wasn't his invaded his senses. "Wait-- I-- I can;t-- my head!" Eleven hollered, she repeatedly asked him what he was, shattering any confidence he had like a brick through glass. Eleven began to stammer, clutching at his head and hyperventilating "I-I-I don't know!" he answered in panic.

Seeing the woman reach for her holster, survival instincts took over and the boy's arms shot forward as he expelled a powerful telekinetic push yelling "Please STOP!"

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

The woman laughed as Eleven crumpled over in pain. "Yeah that's what being a copycat gets ya, schutta." She commented with disgust as she drank another shot. As she reached for her pistol, the boy released a force push at her as he pleaded with her. But the moment the push hit, the cave fell into darkness instantly. A few moments later the crystals glowed again and the bar was still there, dim lights hanging from the ceiling. But no woman or bartender. Instead, a peculiar Sith Pureblood stood behind the counter.

The man mixed a drink up and poured it out into two glasses before his golden eyes raised to meet Eleven's gaze. "Oh! Hey there, kiddo." He greeted him with a friendly smile that showed off his rows of sharp teeth. He was clad in rather utilitarian clothes, old cargo pants, boots and a black t-shirt. A grey trench coat laid over the counter a few feet away from him, showing off his impressive figure and cybernetic left arm. On the counter as well, next to the drinks, laid two lightsabers. "You're just in time. Sorry for what just happened, that woman is a pain to deal with. But you never met her before... right?" He had a genuine curiosity in his eyes as he pushed one of the drinks closer to the edge by a stool.

"Come on, grab a seat, have a drink. You look like you need it. You're a Jedi, right?" He grinned as he gave a light nod. "Yeah you are... you're here for a crystal." He fished around in a pocket and pulled out a clear crystal, one that sang proudly to the boy.

He held it in his right hand for a moment as he studied it against the dim light above him. "But you need to do the whole 'test' thing to prove your worth, blah blah blah… all that good stuff." He dropped the crystal back into his pocket as he leaned against the counter on his cybernetic arm. "The name's Hask. And who might you be, kiddo?" He asked as he extended a hand to the boy. "And don't worry, I ain't here to hurt you or something." He reassured him.

**********​

Yenna could feel the Force at work in the cave. She was curious about what El could be facing in there. But, unfortunately, it would remain a mystery to her unless he chose to tell her. She had faith in him that he would prevail... but she still feared for him.

"Master?" She spoke up with a timid voice. She reached out into the Force, hoping for some kind of response or feeling. "Well, I hope I'm doing, master. With the Force, One you are... unfortunate, it is." She reached down and checked her datapad. No signal, but the time still ticked by. Already several hours passed since they entered. Her meditation took her far and wide, it seemed. "Afraid, I am, Master. Disappoint him, I fear I will..." A gentle laugh escaped her. "How you felt, I know now. I understand now. But... proud of him, I am."

Something akin to a whisper floated past her. She turned to look towards where El entered. It was the wind. Even in a cave pulsing with the Force, the wind could still make a person think something bizarre was happening. "Make it out, I know he will. And fail you, I hope I won't... I miss you, Master." She muttered softly as she closed her eyes again.

Once more she took a deep breath and let her mind float. They wouldn't suffocate at least. Hunger and thirst was now the biggest concern.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

Eleven shut his eyes after unleashing the push and resumed clutching at the sides of his head, ignoring the hostile woman. In tangent with the crystals lighting back up again, Eleven's memory flashes came to a sudden stop. Releasing a grateful sigh, the Padawan slowly opened his eyes and released his hands from his head. The woman had suddenly vanished... and so had the bartender. Confused, Eleven scratched his temple and scanned the remaining bar like a lost kath pup.

It took a moment, Eleven jumped at the sight of a red-skinned man who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere in his eyes. "What--who?" he stammered, even more lost than before, the man was a new experience for him as he'd never seen or met anyone belonging to the man's race before. Despite his scary appearance, the man seemed pretty friendly. Eleven raised his hand, waving slightly and returned the man's greeting "Hi? Where did--" the Kiffar was then interrupted by the man's apologies, on behalf of the familiar woman who had just up and disappeared.

"No... I haven't. She mistook me for..." Eleven trailed off, turning his head as he looked on into empty space "...Someone else..." the Padawan returned his attention to the red-skinned man, lowering his gaze toward the glass he'd angled toward him. Shaking his head "I'm not old enough yet." he declined as he sat down on the barstool placed directly opposite the man. Before he could answer regarding his status as a Jedi, which would've been a confident no, the man seemed to believe he was despite Eleven's status as a Padawan.

Throughout their entire conversation, the song of his crystal and the vibrations in his body were at their most vibrant - however, the conversation with the man was enough to keep him distracted. That was until he pulled out a colorless crystal from his pocket, Eleven's brown eyes widened like a bug's and he shot up from his seat. Everything he was feeling, came directly from the crystal he was holding "Hey, that's--" Eleven stopped himself. Just who was this guy? And why did he know so much... and, more importantly why did he have his kyber crystal? Eleven's chestnut eyes moved to the two lightsabers on the table - well that answered one question. But what color were the blades at the end.

Hask was his name. It sounded harsh, bad, but maybe those are normal naming conventions for wherever Hask came from. Hask's final question hit him like a dreadnought "And who might you be, kiddo?" echoed in his mind. Eleven's identity, or lack thereof, was a topic that always bothered him but... now even more so lately. Ranging from the amnesia, to the foreign memories, unexplained skills and the cold looks from certain people within the Concord, it was enough to send the fifteen-year-old into an existential crisis.

Lifting his gaze from the bar counter to Hask, Eleven realised he'd been sat in silence for the past few seconds... or was it minutes? He wasn't sure. "I-- that's a loaded question." he answered, feeling like a shell... a husk of flimsy consciousness ready to be torn apart at a moment's notice. Eleven sighed "My "name's" Eleven... but... I'm starting to grow tired of it. Makes me feel like less of a person and--" trailing off again, he began to stare through Hask "Uh..." catching himself, he continued "Makes me feel like some kind of soulless object."

"Are you real? Or is this all in my head?" the Padawan asked with an uncharacteristic bluntness.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

Hask almost looked disappointed as the boy refused the drink. ”Oh come on kiddo! Nobody’s gonna know. Plus... I don’t even think anything will happen in here.” He looked around in thought for a moment. Not like he could test the theory.

The question about the boy’s identity clearly hit a bit hard. Hask waited patiently for him to finally answer, and the answer gave way to a variety of questions that sorely needed answering. Regardless, he chuckled gently as he took a sip of his drink. ”Well, if it makes you feel better, you gotta have a soul to be in here.” He quipped. Eleven went on to ask a question that Hask was rather amused by. ”Oh, now that’s a good one. But at the end of the day, what’s real or not in here is irrelevant. Can I ignite my blade right now through your gut? Sure? Do I want to? Not really.” He shrugged and downed his drink before starting to mix up another.

”Tell me, Eleven, how did you get your name? I can feel your frustrations about it all, sucking the light out of you like a leach.” He leaned in close as his cybernetic left hand rested on Eleven’s forearm to hold him close. ”Who are you?” He asked with a cold seriousness to his voice.

Letting go, he continued to mix his drink. ”There is no need to hide or lie in here. At the end of it all, you will only be hiding and lying from yourself. And I’m sure you won’t be happy if your master’s life came to an end because of your failure.” He nodded to the two lightsabers on the counter, a dark grin forming along his lips.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

"--you gotta have a soul to be in here."

Eleven hadn't thought of it that way, it was a comforting thought - well, the kid knew he had a soul but to hear some stranger confirm it was oddly relieving. Hask moved on to the question he'd asked, about whether he was real or not, the comment about getting gutted by Hask's lightsaber didn't really make him feel any better - or answer his question. Or, maybe it did and Eleven was too young to intepret what he meant - it seemed all Force-sensitive types liked to speak in metaphores, analogies and other sorts.

"How did I get my name?" El repeated, his eyes lowered to his left arm and he pulled up his sleeve. Showing off his tattoo, the Padawan went on to explain "It--uh, it's the number eleven. Don't know what language this is, or how I even know how to read it." Eleven felt the cold metal arm touch his skin, drawing his attention to look back up at Hask. There it was again. The question that could break down the boy in an instant "what are you?", "who are you?" It drove him insane.

"I don't know!" he exclaimed, brows furrowing "I don't--!" Eleven paused, lowering his shoulders and sighing "Sorry." he hated losing his temper, not only because it was frowned upon by the Jedi, but because - it made him feel uneasy, like something festered within him, biding its time, feeding on any hostile emotion he had and prepared to break away.

Eleven continued meekly listening to Hask, head hung low as if he was a child that had been shouted at by their parent - "I'm sure you won't be happy if your master's life came to an end because of your failure." - then, surprisingly, the Padawan's loose posture stiffened. He raised his head and locked eyes with Hask, staring at him with a, what looked like some kind of murderous intent, it was as if something had switched inside him. Gone was the shy boy, now it had been replaced with something else.

"Was that a threat?" Eleven said coldly, gaze unwavering from Hask, the boy's voiced had lowered to a tone so deep one would think a grown man had possessed him. The Kiffar had an innate drive to protect those he cared about, and any threat to their wellbeing caused a shift in his personality. Eleven stood up from the barstool, slamming his palms down on the table all the while still refusing to break eye contact with Hask.

"You wanna know who I am? I'm a Jedi, one who'll stop at nothing to keep my loved ones safe. Including my Master. If you threaten her again, I'll make sure you won't leave this bar with your head in tact. I don't care what you carry." he stated, looking toward the two lightsabers on the counter "I promise you that, Hask." the Padawan concluded, tone still as cold as ice.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

Hask looked down at his arm, rather surprised by the tattoo he had. "That's Sith scripture." He commented softly as he studied it. "A rather odd tattoo for a Jedi to have." His gaze rose to meet Eleven's again. The boy, once again, had a bit of a panic attack at the question, though that soon gave way to anger towards the Pureblood.

With a grin, Hask listened to the boy's threats before calmly setting his crossguard lightsaber down in front of Eleven. "Then do it." He calmly stated. "What's a life to a Jedi, right?" He remarked as he leaned back and poured his next drink in. "But before you strike me down and follow the path of your genetic donor, why don't you stop and think for a moment?" He continued on, hoping to pique the boy's curiosity.

"It's not exactly my place to be helping you out of an existential crisis, that's your master's job. But have you ever stopped and thought about the nightmares and faces you recognise despite not having met them? Why your fellow Jedi act to odd around you, like you remind them of someone else?" He paused for a moment as he sipped at his drink. "Oh kark this, this is way too much fun." He muttered with a snicker as he leaned forward to stare at the boy again. "Do you want me to spell it out for you, kiddo, or can you reach the conclusion on your own?" He glanced down at the lightsaber between them. "I believe the clock is ticking, kiddo. Your master's been out there for hours by now, maybe even a day has passed. Time does work differently in here sometimes." His golden eyes didn't waver for even a moment.

The sharp nails of his right hand dribbled idly against the counter as he stared right through the boy. "So I ask again, for your master's sake... who are you?" His voice grew cold and serious as his cybernetic left hand reached over and grabbed hold of the boy's arm, holding him in place with an iron grip.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

Eleven glared at the lightsabers Hask pointed out, genuinely contemplating taking the man's life - it had been him all along, Hask was responsible for keeping Eleven stuck there and put Master Yenna at risk. It wouldn't be Eleven's first time. He'd killed those... those people that hunted him in the most violent of ways. They wouldn't stop, it was a matter of life or death, and he chose life everytime. It was even worse now that the boy actually had someone to care for, Eleven needed to keep her safe too.

Just as the Kiffar prepared to take the lightsabers and strike down the red-skinned individual. Eleven's murderous thoughts came to a grinding halt - "genetic donor"? What-- what was he talking about? "What're you--?" he started, but Hask continued. Eleven absorbed every word that came from the man's mouth, his murderous glare faltering, returning to that of the scared boy he was mere moments ago.

"Who are you?" he asked once more.

This time... it was like a trigger. The word "Genetic donor", the memories of a life he hadn't lived, memories of those he hadn't met, others treating him like a freak, a monster, the number on his arm, those armored men that had hunted him for a year of his life. Everything suddenly clicked into place and a torrent of memories broke through the ethereal dam that was his amnesia. Eleven clawed at his temples and howled "My head!-- It's killing me!"

His hands pressed against a glass - a tube? Or a vat? Bubbles floated around him and his eyes burned, his hearing was muffled. Submerged in liquid, his eyes narrowed, looking outside the glass. Rows and rows of tubes filled with the same liquid, with... motionless bodies inside - ranging from foetuses, infants, children and full-grown individuals.

A tall, cloaked man in black wearing a horrifying mask, suddenly flashed into his mind. He fell to his knees, soaking wet, coughing and gagging, seeing various pairs of boots stood in front of him, he lifted his gaze. A high-ranking looking woman in a white coat referred to him as 'Subject TC-11'... Eleven...

"The first subject with no physical deformities or mental issues, he is a perfect copy of Cas Tynen." echoed several times in his mind.

Then there was training. Gruelling training. Nothing but pain, anger, insults and mental anguish. He was told to hurt things, kill things that didn't deserve it. He refused. The punishments soon came after.

"TC-11 is deficient. Too defiant, rowdy. The subject asks too many questions - questions likely derived from the donor's memories. Cloning process may need to be revamped."

Alarms blared, sweat dripped from his skin, he panted heavy as he sprinted toward a hangar. Then he was flying, in a starfighter, lasers flashes across his canopy and explosions blared. He was laughing, for the first time he felt free.. hopeful, and then... nothing.

Everything returned to normal. Eleven's hands were still holding both sides of his head, the boy's lips were parted in shock as rapid short breaths left his mouth. Tears began streaming down his face as he came to the realisation - it all made sense: the strange memories, the disgusted looks, the way he was treated by the others that weren't Master Yenna.

"I'm a clone..." Eleven shakily admitted aloud.

**********
​

Alone in the cave, the small Jedi Knight would suddenly feel a strange, cold presence with a hint of familiarity. A man with a blue X-shaped tattoo on his face would suddenly appear in front of her. His nostalgic brown eyes looked to hers, and a familiar cocky smile etched on the man's face. "Still as short as the day I left you." he addressed her in a teasing tone.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

Hask watched the boy collapse to the ground as he calmly swirled his drink and took a sip. "A little pain is good for the soul, kiddo." He muttered to himself as he helped himself to another sip. When the boy finally stopped with his breakdown, Hask walked around and gently helped the boy up to the seat again. In the same motion, he set the glass in front of the boy and pointed to it. "Drink it, you'll feel better." He ordered. The drink, seemingly out of nowhere, was suddenly a tall milkshake. Casually Hask skidded over the counter and stood across from the boy once more.

"You're getting it now, huh?" He quipped. "You're a clone. A copy of another person. We can take it further and specifically call you clone number eleven if we wanted to... but that's just a mouthful, to be honest." Hask continued on, taking the crystal out of his pocket to study it once again. His golden eyes turned to look at Eleven for a moment. "Now here's the next big question for you, kiddo. What are you going to do about it?" He asked as he stared at the boy. "We've established so far that, in the eyes of almost everyone, you're a thing. You're just a copy of someone they knew. You're supposed to be nothing but a number in their eyes."

He grinned at the boy as he finished off his drink. "So I ask again, Eleven, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to just feel sorry for yourself? Are you going to follow your donor down the path of damnation?" He picked up his lightsaber and studied it for a second. "Because if you are... there's no further need for your master." The lightsaber came to life with a droning hum. The crossguards spat sparks of plasma out as the exhausts opened up, and the unstable blade crackled as it poured crimson light over the bar and cave. "It's a good option, though. I gave up on the sith life... but that doesn't mean I was useless. I can train you, you know." He offered with an oddly gentle voice.

In his free hand he held his other lightsaber, extending it towards Eleven. "Come on, kiddo. Don't you want to be your own person?"

**********​

Yenna snored softly as she laid slumped against the pillar behind her. Though her eyes fluttered open as she massaged her neck from the awkward sleeping angle. A presence stirred her awake... and a voice. A voice that sounded far too familiar. As she massaged her eyes and opened them again, a figure stood before her that made her blink a few times more.

"M... Master?" She muttered as she stared up at him with shock-filled eyes. A harsh exhale followed as she looked around and then back at him. "No... a trick, this is. Torment me so, the Force would not." She spoke with a soft voice as tears filled her eyes.

Slowly she rose from her seated position, then slowly she took a step forward. "Real... this is not." She continued as she took another step towards her former master. "Master... really you, is this?" The tears started to roll as she took another step closer, her hands hovering halfway in preparation for a hug. But no matter how real his presence felt, how real he looked in front of her... she couldn't believe it for a moment.

Belief or not, she rushed forward in an attempt to hug him. "Master!" She cried out as the tears streamed freely down her green cheeks.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

"Shut up." Eleven uttered, not making eye contact with the red-skinned individual. Still in shock, the clone remained frozen in place until he felt Hask help him into his seat. Head hanging low, Eleven saw the glass that had turned into a milkshake - taking Hask up on his offer, Eleven reached for the glass and gripped it with shaky hands. Trembling, Eleven raised the glass to his lips and took a massive gulp before setting it down and leaning against the table, resting his head in his hands.

His head and face remained there as Hask continued on, chipping away at the boy's confidence as well as his sense of self. Eleven's mind constantly cycled through his recovered memories of his time at the cloning facility, his year on the run, his time as a Jedi, trying to piece everything together - to find something that made him him. More than a weapon, more than Insatious' puppet, his plaything, more than a copy, more than... Cas Tynen. Then Hask mentioned his Master, Yenna, that was it.

They were linked through Cas Tynen - Eleven being his clone and Yenna being his former Padawan. And maybe that was the reason she took him on in the first place, to fill some sort of void his genetic donor had left, but it was more than that now. Yenna's tutelage was everything he needed, she cared for him and was the only one that ever believed in him with her unwavering faith. Yenna's guidance helped Eleven find himself and become more than just a clone. The thing that separated him from his loveless, trapped clone brothers, from his fallen genetic donor was Yenna's belief in him. She believed in him so much that Eleven wanted nothing more than to prove her right.

"I am my own person, Hask. I don't need you to tell me what I am because I already know. My past's rooted in darkness, I was born from darkness - but that isn't my destiny. I'm more than my creator, more than my template, I'm me and..." he smirked to himself, finally lifting his head and making eye contact with Hask "... there's no way to go but up from here."

*******************
​

Cas, whatever he was - real or illusion - watched Yenna with his same cocksure smile. "Come on, Yen. You know the Force doesn't work like that. It only gives you what you need." he assured her, folding his arms and lowering his smile. Cas began pacing a little and rubbed the back of his neck following the question she asked on whether he was real or not "Does it really matter?" he asked rhetorically, stopping in place again and turning to face Yenna once more.

As she approached, Cas raised his hand signalling her to stop. "Hold on. Before this gets anymore sappy I just gotta tell you something." the Kiffar assumed a stern expression and tone. "Look, I know-- I know you've... heard some things about me recently. I just wanted to let you know... its not as black and white as it seems. I'm--" he sighed, placing a hand on his hip while using the other to run his hand through his hair "--I have my reasons, okay?" Cas confessed, albeit vaguely.

Making a fist, he lifted it toward his mouth and cleared his throat. "The kid." he referred to Eleven "You're doing good. I'm proud of you, but after today though? That's the real test. If... Sorry, when he comes out of there, he'll need you now more than ever. Everything changes after today."

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

There was a long silence as Hask waited for some kind of response from the boy. Good or bad. And when it finally came, his brows raised in surprise at the boy’s words of power. Still gripping his lightsaber, he said nothing as Eleven continued on with a new look in his eye.

At the end of it all, a smile crept onto his red features. A proud smile, with an impressed glimmer in his golden eyes as he stared at Eleven. ”There’s that fire. That karking fire you Jedi always used to have. I’ve missed that. Thousands of years have I waited to see it in someone’s eyes again.” He muttered as he turned his blade to point the tip at Eleven’s throat. For a long moment he eyed the boy, ready to end him with a flick of his wrist.

But the crimson blade simply shut off. He clipped his weapons to his belt and donned his jacket as he walked around the counter to rest a hand on Eleven’s shoulder. ”See you around, kiddo. And do try to break the rules once in a while...” He spoke as he made his way to the cave exit. ”Oh! And, uh... enjoy the ‘shake. You earned it.” He said as he turned to get one last look at the boy.

With a two-fingered salute he flashed a wink and disappeared into the cave, vanishing into thin air.

From the milkshake in front of him, the Force called out to El. The music was bright and clear, calling out to him from the bottom of the glass...

**********​

Yenna halted as he held his hand up. She was ready for a hug, she wanted to hold her master again and never let go. But she obeyed his words.

Her eyes were glued to his as he spoke, and she found herself struggling to believe or understand what he was saying.

”So... true, it is?” Yenna muttered with a shaky voice. ”Alive, you are... and fallen, you have.” Her hand rested against her forehead as she took a step back, her eyes turning to the floor as the reality of it sunk in. Mathieu’s words, Sakadi’s memory... it was all true.

The dark void in her heart ached and a sip from her canteen did nothing to quench it. She finally found the courage to look at him again, tears and all. ”Please, master... one thing, tell me.” She glanced briefly at the cave entrance. Something changed... it was over. Soon he would emerge and she would see either his success or failure. She looked back to Cas. ”A danger, is he? Even if he is... believe you, I will likely not... but know, I have to. For his sake... and for the others’ as well.” She asked gently. She stood by it with Sakadi and she would continue to do so. El wasn’t a danger to anyone, everyone was wrong about him. But to keep him safe and to protect the others as well, she needed to know the truth... even if her former master’s words could likely not be trusted anymore.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

Following his cathartic feeling statement, Eleven eyed the crimson lightsaber's tip that hovered mere inches from his throat. His brown eyes then stared intently into Hask's golden eyes, with a reinvigorated confidence, the clone practically dared the man to try something. When Hask didn't, simply extinguishing the blade - Eleven quietly released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Eleven watched as Hask exited from behind the counter and made his way toward the exit, was that it? After all the tormenting, he was just going to up and leave like that? The Kiffar sighed, simply remaining silent as Hask finally disappeared into the void. So... it was all in his head. Running a hand through his hair, Eleven's eyes shifted over to the empty glass on the imaginary bar counter. He heard the music again, blaring in his ears so much so that it felt as if the vibrations inside him shook his entire body.

Peering his head over and looking inside the glass, his eyebrows rose and eyes widened in shock. What stared back at him was a shining blue kyber crystal - "I did it..." he muttered to himself with a chuckle "I did it..." Eleven said one last time as he clutched the glowing crystal to his chest. His joyous mood quickly faded however, the revelation of his past became fully realised. While he accepted what he was and where he was going, the facts were still a lot to take in - such as the fact Yenna had lied to him, he still wasn't sure how he lost his memories, the mere fact that he was a clone. It was overwhelming. Trying not to dwell on it, Eleven sighed and moved toward the cave's exit.

*************
​

Yenna asked him if the kid, his clone, the most stable one of them all, if he was a danger. Cas, whatever he was, couldn't help but let out a small snicker as if the answer was obvious. "Well, yeah Yen. Look at him, he's a clone of me created by a nigh all-powerful whack job to do bad things. But--" Cas
interjected, lifting his finger and raising it close to the side of his head "A Massiff's dangerous too, so's a Kath Hound, a Rancor, a--" he shook his head, realising he was about to drone on "But if you nurture them, guide them in the right direction - these violent natured animals? They can become a force for good... or, at least domesticated."

And with that, Cas let out a short breath and linked his hands behind his backl "It was good talking to you again, Yen." his confession was followed up by an lamentful smile "I'm sorry about everything, with me, but... we'll laugh about it someday. Promise." lifting his left hand, he bid her a stationary wave goodbye "You got this." the blue tattooed Kiffar flashed his former Padawan one last wink before fading into a younger, tattooless form of himself that was a few inches shorter.

Emerging from deeper inside the cave, Eleven offered her a weak smile and flashed the blue Kyber crystal. "Got it..." he announced, albeit lacking any excitement. And as if the forces of the universe heard him, the slab blocking the cave entrance slid to the side allowing light to shine through once more. Tapping the crystal against his palm, the boy moved to the entrance, ignoring his Master as he passed her.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

Yenna watched her former master, drinking upon his every word as he spoke while hoping for an answer that she could accept. At first her hopes were dwindling, but as he continued, she started to understand what he was getting at. She struggled to keep a chuckle to herself as Cas simply kept being himself, despite what she heard. He didn't give her any chance to speak up or ask question, instead giving her one last goodbye before he faded away... and behind the appearance emerged her padawan.

Despite seeing him holding his crystal, she could feel that something was wrong. "You got it?" She asked with a bright grin. "I knew it." She muttered as she walked up to give him as tight a hug as she could... but the boy simply marched past towards the exit of the cave. The fact that a day had passed for them, or that the cave opened again, was lost on her as she watched El with a smile dwindling as the seconds ticked by. "El?" She spoke gently as concern brewed in her heart.

As quickly as she could she jogged after him to catch up before she gently tugged at his trousers. "El? Okay, are you? In there, what happened?" She asked him as she brushed her tears away with a sleeve. "Please stop. A proper congratulation, I want to give. No small achievement, this is. For you, a very big stepping stone, this is... for all Jedi." She pleaded. Something was very wrong and no amount of guessing would give her a correct answer.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

Eleven continued past his Master, painfully closing his eyes and biting his lip as if he was struggling not to cry. Her words fell on death ears as he continued on toward the outside and toward the light. The boy didn't know if they'd been inside a whole day or if only a few hours had passed, he didn't care. He was hurt.

The boy cared deeply for his Master, with his affection for her almost borderlining on a son's love. But... this, her lying to him about something so big, it hurt. She was the only one he could trust, confide in, and she kept this from him. Finally, as he reached the outside it all came to a boiling point as he stopped in his tracks, still as a statue. His shoulders rose and fell, his breathing was audible and his hands were balled up. Eleven could no longer hold them in, clear streaks of tears fell down his bronze cheeks as he quietly cried to himself.

His body turned, facing Master, pride and accomplishment was missing from the boy's face - what lie in its place was pain and betrayal. "So you weren't going to tell me?" Eleven asked, his voice broke and his throat ached as he fought back any continuing tears. "Don't even try to play dumb. I know. That cave, that stupid cave told me!" the boy exclaimed, pointing in the direction of the crystal cave.

"I don't care that I'm a clone. Was forced to come to terms with that really quickly." he chuckled through the tears, failing to come off as fine or okay. "I care that you kept this from me, you lied to me. A lie by omission is still a lie." the clone argued, in case Yenna tried to sugarcoat or twist the truth like all Jedi loved to do apparently "There's no one in this entire galaxy I trust more than you, Master. And you-- you!" Eleven's arms moved forward and his fists tightened, body unsure what to do with itself, his face was rageful and filled with pain.

The Padawan fell to his knees, dropping his kyber crystal causing it to roll over to his Master's feet. "I thought you-- I thought you believed in me, Master. You were the first and only person to show me that--" stuttering, the emotional wreck stammered to find the right words and when he found them, he continued "-- Someone could have undeniable faith and belief in me. But it was just a load of kriff wasn't it? What? Were you scared after you found out? Scared I'd die like your 'Cassie', oh no, worse. Scared I'd fall? 'Cause of who made me? Of where I came from?"

His head fell, Eleven's body shook as his sobs grew stronger "You're just like the rest - like everyone else on Kashyyyk who knew Cas. You think I'm some kind of cheap copy, a stain on Cas Tynen's memory..."

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

As El stopped in his tracks, Yenna came to a halt beside him as well with worry in her eyes. He finally spoke up and her eyes went wide in shock. He knew. He wasn't supposed to know. She was supposed to sit down and talk to him about if after he got his crystal. But now that plan was out of the window as El turned to face her.

She had nothing to say in her defense. Her reasonings were suddenly not good enough anymore as El's emotions all boiled over. Her hands rose in some kind of attempt to stop him as he dropped down to his knees, but she was stuck in place for the moment. She didn't dare speak up or interject, rather letting the boy get it all out of him. Her heart sank deeper and deeper into her gut as his head drooped and tears started to flow. Her gaze lowered to the crystal by her feet as she bent over to pick it up and inspect it for a moment.

Clutching it tightly, she stepped up and rested her tiny hands on his head. "A cheap copy, you are not. I..." She struggled to figure out what to say to him that would prove she always had faith in him. But she had to come clean. With everything.

"When I met you... broken, I was. My master's death... it shook me. And then you, I met. A perfect image of him. At first... I despised you. Like the rest, a reminder of him, you were. But I thought long and hard. With myself, I wrestled and fought. And that next morning... by my door, with you... I realized." She explained with a gentle voice as she stared back at the cave. She sat down on the ground in front of him with a heavy sigh. "I realized... wrong, I was. Wrong, everyone is. Look the same, do you? Yes, absolutely. But a copy, are you? No. Never. A stain or an abomination, are you? Never. For a moment, not even. A lost child, you were, deserving to be sheltered. A soul, you were, in need of direction."

She looked up at the broken boy in front of her then down at the crystal in her hands. "Too afraid to tell you, I was, because... Cas Tynen, you are not. Your own person, you are. A bright young man, a Jedi padawan, with your own dreams and hopes. Told you today, I would have, after you got your crystal. For even a moment, I didn't doubt you. The captain of your own soul, you are. For your future, I feared, if I had to tell you. To know the truth of your birth." She sighed again and extended her hand to give him his crystal. "But hurt you, I never wanted to. Lie to you, I never wanted to. In you, El, I believe. Proud of you, I am. Messed up, I have. And, deeply ashamed, I am of this. Betrayed your trust, I have, in trying to protect you from the others. The people who stare at your face, but fail to see the bright soul behind it." She managed to form a small smile as she got up and extended her arms towards him. "A padawan like you, I did not deserve. But for a reason, the Force brought us together. Please, El... forgive me. A mistake, I made. A grave mistake. But make this right, I want to." She carefully stepped closer to him and tried to wrap her arms around his chest to give him as decent a hug as she could.

"I am sorry, El..." She muttered.

Elryn Freestar

 

[Elryn Freestar]

The clone's body heaved, head hanging low, the distraught Padawan watched as his tears dampened the grass below him. He couldn't look at her right now, even as she spoke to him, trying to make things right, he knew that if he laid his eyes on her - the wounds would reopen. The Kiffar felt as if he'd fallen, gone all the way back to where he started. If Yenna didn't trust him, then what was all this for? Was everything a lie?

Yenna went on a tangent, explaining in a thousand different ways on how he was his own person, how she was sorry - even how she initially hated him. That was a hard pill to swallow. Despite this though, and how terrible he felt all around, the clone found credence in the small Jedi's words or he wanted to. Then... she asked him to forgive her.

It went silent, as the two had nothing more to say having aired all their thoughts and feelings. During this silence, the boy took the time to think. He was hurt, deeply, and this was sure to last for a while... maybe forever. As far as he knew, their relationship was forever scarred from Yenna's actions. Despite it all, he cared for her still and didn't want to lose her over this - especially with her being the first person to take a chance on him and make him feel like a person. He did believe what she said. He needed to.

He still couldn't see her, nor the crystal she had extended toward him but he could feel her presence nonetheless, as well as see her small shadow. Feeling her arms wrap around his torso, the damaged boy folded his arms around her and pulled her in close, hugging her tightly. Bawling into her chest, no words left his mouth but he hoped that this was enough to show that he at least acknowledged what she said.

He stayed in her embrace and refused to let her out of his for a few moments before speaking through her "I can't forgive you... not yet, it hurts too much. But... I want to try..." the boy sniffed before letting go and wiping his eyes, finally, he looked upon her with misty red eyes. The clone looked at his Master's chest, noticing the wet patches his eyes rose to meet hers again "I'm sorry." he apologised, sniffing again.

Yenna

 

[Yenna]

He held her tightly against him, and she gently rubbed the back of his head as he cried against her. This was the first time in her life where she somehow felt bigger than someone else, and she hated the feeling. To see and feel how broken her boy was by this revelation cut deep and hard. All she wanted was to make him smile again, go off and make lunch for the two of them... but this damage wouldn't be rectified in a long time. Even after years, he would likely still harbour a sliver of resentment towards her.

And she could do nothing to fix it. Just like she could do nothing to help her master. She failed her master... and now she was failing her apprentice. Was she really doing good?

"About it, don't worry." She spoke softly with a gentle smile as she took his hand and placed the crystal in his palm, gently closing it as she looked up at him. "Come. Go home, let us. I meant it, El. Get it, I knew you would. Some lunch, let us have." She tried her best to take his mind off the heavy topic as she gently tugged his sleeve and walked towards the ship. It was only now that she realized how hungry she was. According to her datapad, she was in there for a day without any food or water... or a drink. She was going to fix up a feast for El on the ship once they were underway.

But still the thought still lingered. How could she make this right? How could she fix the trust she broke with him in her attempt to protect him.

Perhaps a hearty meal cooked with love could be a first step...

"In the mood, what are you for, El?" She asked him as she hopped onto the kitchen counter in the mess room, turning to face him fully.

Elryn Freestar