Miraluka Merc Needs Character Building

[Gisil]

I need some character building and I think some bodyguard work will really bring that out. Character alignment doesn't matter to me.

Some preferences…
-Not PvP (though a tiny bit is okay, as long it's focused on the characters' development)
-Urban environment, “upper” or “lower” class doesn't really matter.
-Some sort of goal in mind (escort from point to point, making sure a deal goes down safely, et cetera); an actual end would be nice too.

This also doesn't need to be long. Let me know if you're interested and we can flesh something out via PM.

I'm also new here so I want a solid and thoroughly first RP experience. : )

 

[Marcus Itera]

[member="Gisil"]

Ah yes, character building: the stuff of champions.

First of all, welcome to Chaos and nicely done so far on your character biography. I read through it a minute ago and I must honestly say that it's pretty well done. Since I'm assuming that you're still fairly new to roleplay and also accept critiques, I advise that you focus a little more on emotions and the like. Not every character is a hero in their own right, and everybody has their own faults and past regrets that they almost always try to forget or repent of. Your biography examples show as much, and you seem primarily ingrained on describing actions and dialogue, which are both essentials to writing - but never forgive that inner thoughts and the rest of the environment are important aspects as well.

And now let's get to the character development stage. Tell me a little more about what you're actually wanting to see happen to Miss Gisil. Of course you'd like to get her out there, get a little facetime with the people of the galaxy and make a name for her, but what do you really want to see her do? Make some friends, or maybe a rival or arch enemy? Make this a little milk run and reflect on the past? Or have her experience something new and completely out of her comfort zone, to write and explore those awkward and interesting little tidbits that inhabit the rest of her personality.

I hope these little blocks of text weren't too much, I just usually try to offer a little helpful advice while I can - especially to newcomers - so take a look around at my own characters and see what you want to work with. I'm totally down to write with you, it's just that I really want to encourage you to set some personal goal with Gisil since she's just a spiny and brand new character. Meeting that goal will feel awesome, trust me, and then you'll get into the habit of setting a few more or getting rid of them once you get the hang of writing out her personality.

Again, welcome to Chaos! Let myself, or one of the other old farts around here, know if you need a hand with anything.

 

[Gisil]

Thanks for the compliments and the warm welcome! : )

Finding that emotion is actually why I want to do a character building sort of RP, to help tune up my bio some more. In the end, I have interesting ideas but I don't feel there's much meat and potatoes for Gisil. An earlier regret is actually a great suggestion. I think I'll add some stuff about her regretfully being a brat to her real mother when she was little, adding more weight to having kill her and not apologizing beforehand. Thanks for the idea!

For Gisil, I want her to have a “pygmalion’s struggle” sort of story. She becomes victim of the fate her Sith master crafted for her and eventually breaks free and finds the light.

Also, it's okay. These “blocks of text” were fine since they were straightforward. I very much appreciate that. : )

I'll look through your characters and let you know; thanks again for the help!