Maw Droids Please

[Bespectacled Jim]

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Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss/Dr/Rv/Cpt Maw

I would very much like to requisition one of your tenement blocks. I need it airdropped to a set of coordinates on the planet Blenjeel. Details will follow at a later date.
In case you're wondering, I need this for a totally legitamate enterprise that in no way rhymes with Child Scmaffiking or Scmanibalism.

Requisition requests for a line of your droids will follow.

Sincerely,
Jim

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[member="Heveticus Maw"]

 

[Heveticus Maw]

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Dear Cpt.[member="Bespectacled Jim"]

Our Tenements are of very high quality and we can have them prepared very soon. It should be mentioned that they require some assembly otherwise, it will just be a big piece of metal.
I have attached the list of droids we sell:

• G.A.S.T.R.O Droid
• C.M.U Droid

I believe that we can deliver the products to your satisfaction and in an acceptable timeframe.


Regards,
Heveticus Maw
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[Bespectacled Jim]

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To Mrs Maw

The tenement will require living area for at least 20 people with amenities to match. A good plumbing system would be nice...

Also I will need a large storage compartment where I will not be hiding contraband, drugs and weapons. I need the compartment to be environmentally sealed and able to withstand blaster fire.

Due to the extremely pleasant environment of Blenjeel, I will require the structure to be reinforced with durasteel beams and nothing less hard-wearing than carbonite for the walls and ceilings. I would prefer if the smuggli-FOOD compartment were reinforced with phrik and beskar iron... just to ensure the quality of the product.

Oh, I also need a landing pad for shuttles.

Love from,
Jim
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"Oi! Shut up you, I fed you already!"

"Please sir, can I have some more?"

"I'll slap ye silly, we can't afford more food. We need to save up for a nice new hat, made out of solid Beskar."

[member="Heveticus Maw"]

 

[Heveticus Maw]

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Cpt. [member="Bespectacled Jim"],

Yes, we can include these additions. You will need to pay extra, these improvements are quite an expense. The landing pad will be easy to do. The entire structure can house over 100 people comfortably, easily holding more if you desire. The landing pad will simply be put on the top, unless you want it to hang over the side of the building.

The plumbing will use a modified system, due to your location. We will require a 10% down payment after we have the final requirements.

To assemble the structure, about ten G.A.S.T.R.O droids would be appropriate. I believe, due to your location, that twenty or so C.M.U droids would be appropriate. To keep your privacy, these droids will need to be bought outright. I can't rent them to you.

Regards,
Heveticus Maw
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Maw did not know if this man was serious, he seemed to be deluded. Regardless of the man's mental faculties, a sale is a sale. He truly wondered what the man was going to use it for. Piracy didn't concern Maw when it didn't hurt his company.

 

[Bespectacled Jim]

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Dear Miss Maw,

Thank you for your lovely letter.
The landing pad will be excellent thanks, I "inherited" a Lambda class shuttle and I serves faithfully in my excessively legitimate enterprises.
Yes, these Gastro-things will serves excellently with my sewerage needs. Must remember to lay off the blue milk some day.
Are your tenements insured against giant sand worms? If so I'd like to buy the premium package.

With many regrets,
Jim
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[member="Heveticus Maw"]

 

[Heveticus Maw]

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Cpt. [member="Bespectacled Jim"],

The design will have the landing pad on the top, it will be most appropriate for your Lambda-Class shuttle. I am glad to hear that you are performing legitimate enterprises.
The Gastro droids CAN do plumbing work, but that is not their designed purpose.
I have never had the issue of stopping giant sand worms before. We can put pheromone producers throughout the structure to stop the worms damaging the structure. The "premium" package is not part of the normal structure. If you would like, we can put turbolasers in the structure, it sounds like something you would enjoy. The premium package just adds premium furniture to all the rooms.


Regards,
Heveticus Maw
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[Bespectacled Jim]

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Dear Rvd. Maw,

Give me the premium package. I want the facility with the beskar, durasteel and all the shiny things. You assumed I want a turbolaser, how wrong you were. I want concussion weapons!
I'll take your quoted number of droids, but when I am done with them I might just have to destroy them. You can never truly trust a droid.

The giant sand worms are already responsible for eating my last home. I'll be glad to sleep easy. My honest enterprises will be much more efficient now.

Do you sell red paint? I want to make my shuttle go faster. Drop some of your finest red paint if you have any.

In summary:

• Tenements
• 10 GASTRO Droids
• 20 CMU droids
• Concussion weapons for the tenements
• Premium Package
• Landing Pad
• Pheremone releasing stuff to keep away the giant sand worms

Season's Greetings,
Jim the Magnificent
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[member="Heveticus Maw"]

 

[Heveticus Maw]

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Cpt. [member="Bespectacled Jim"],

As some of these will be hard to acquire, we will take several days to have the final structure ready to be air-dropped. We will inform you when we are on our way to deliver it.

Of course, we can give you red paint. We will deliver it when we drop the droids. The giant sand worms will trouble you no longer, once we have deployed your new home, which I hope you will be satisfied with. The concussion weapons will also be delivered alongside the droids. For optimal construction, I suggest you activate the G.A.S.T.R.O droids and command them to build the structure.

We will send you a final costs sheet within a standard day. To confirm that you want the final product, we will need a 10% deposit as soon as possible. We will not deliver until this deposit is paid.

Regards,
Heveticus Maw
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[Bespectacled Jim]

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Dear Emperor Maw,

As you should be aware, my payment went through. I have to say, I could have paid less than that. Alas, my beskar hat will have to wait another year.

The airdrop coordinates will be delivered when we determine you are in orbit. Be prepared, my honest enterprises might astound you. I hope you don't try to rustle my jimmies, your products must be of high quality, or I will find you and give you broken droid bits.

See you later?
Jim the slightly poor after this purchase
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Jim delivered the coordinates after his sensors detected a ship announcing it was delivering for Maw Construction Group. The air-drop was slower than Jim wanted, but it still came. Something about safety? He paid the remaining amount due for the purchase.

Jim thought to himself:
Now... how do I turn on these droids? I don't like giant sand worms.


[member="Heveticus Maw"]

 

[Heveticus Maw]

Maw Construction Group received the final payment. This was a lesson to Maw Construction Group. Be more restrictive with materials. They had almost made a loss on the entire transaction because of the unusual request to build part of the structure out of beskar. The structure could easily defend against the giant sand worms.

Why would anyone voluntarily choose to live of Blenjeel? Maw was glad that this encounter was over, he could only deal with so many odd things. Regardless, the sale was done, they had made a small profit. He was disappointed that he sold his droids [member="Bespectacled Jim"]. The way Jim was communicating, he was going to destroy all the droids after he used them.

Maw didn't think he would be doing many more deals around here. The distance from his area of influence is too great to justify a sale like this.