Private Love is a Battlefield [Complete]

[Katarine Ryiah]

Both of us knowing​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Katarine listened as he spoke about how his father had loved to cook, and how Connel had learned at his side. It still felt strange to hear about Jedi with close family ties, but she was beginning to grow accustomed to it. Caltin and his son had clearly been close because she could hear that bond in every word Connel chose. The only family she had ever truly known was Daxium, and that relationship was… complicated. She envied what Connel had, even knowing it came with its own pain. He carried hurt from his father's absence. Would she feel the same, if her brother vanished from her life again?

Buster shattered her spiraling thoughts with a burst of zoomies, the sudden chaos diffusing the heaviness in the air. She laughed, offering Connel a grateful smile as she thanked him for the meal. Buster dove in with enthusiasm, while she picked absently at her food, her mind already drifting again.

"Is that something you ever think about?"

The words slipped out before she'd fully registered them. She blinked down at her plate, realizing she needed to clarify.

"Cooking, I mean. Passing that down someday… to your own children?"

She wasn't sure where the question had come from. But deep down, she knew it had risen from her own uncertainty. Katarine no longer felt she fit among the Jedi, and the galaxy had long since forgotten her so what future was left? Could she even imagine something as simple, as monumental, as a family?

"This is delicious, by the way," she added softly. "Your father taught you well."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

Okay. Wait? WHAT? Kids?

That was a surprise, and he didn’t really hide the expression, but it was not anything bad. Would have to marry before I could even think about that. He took a bite, trying not to be dismissive, but to really put into words what he meant, this was clearly something that surprised him (again, not in a bad way).

I mean, sure, this is something I could pass on as a way to remember him. He did with me. My cousin Michael learned of his natural love of flying through his late father… yeah… I suppose that I would do that.

Bark

Don’t even look up here. He said, not even taking his eyes off of his plate, but knowing what Buster wanted. Not my fault you’re a vacuum.

Whine

What? Let me eat…

Grrr

Taking a few quick bites and putting the plate down in “defeat” Connel sighed… [COOR=DARKORANGE]Fine…[/COLOR]

After that he started to eat out of the main dish as there was some left over, almost as if this was planned. Don’t look so surprised. He winked.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Love is a battlefield​

Tags: Connel Vanagor


She had surprised him, which she supposed she should have prefaced the question better. They were officially dating so it wasn't like these endless conversations were as innocent as they could be. She didn't want him to think she was rushing him into anything. They had just started dating and still had a long ways to go to even know if they were compatible. Of course on the other hand her eggs were over nine hundred years old so maybe her biological clock was screaming louder than normal. That thought made her smirk.

She smiled at him guiltily, and chewed her food while Buster begged for more.

"How does such a little dog eat so much?"

Bark

"Well I guess you are just a baby. You need food to grow."

He was now licking the plate clean with enthusiasm. She shook her head, smiling , and took a drink of her water.

"I never really met my parents. They died when I was two months old so I'm not sure if they had hobbies. Daxium likes to dance though. He's actually the one who taught me how."

The memory brought a sad pensive smile to her face, but she pushed it away with another bite of food.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

Clearly she noticed his surprise and it seemed to bring up a hot-button for her. Maybe this was the time to “talk about it”

Tell me about him… your brother....

Maybe it would help her cope.

Bark

You’d better go potty! He said, picking up the plate as Buster trotted off, he had his own “throne room” so to speak, and knew to go there, so that was no issue.

Finishing his own “meal”, he finished his milk slowly. Did he protect you when you were younger? Connel wanted to understand why her brother was who he was, he also wanted to hopefully get her to bring up some good memories.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

You're making me go​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Tell me about him… your brother....

This time he had surprised her. She raised an eyebrow at him, clearly surprised he would want to know, given his own current opinions on Daxium. Buster trotted off to go take care of business and Connel sipped his milk, inviting more information and asking if Dax had ever protected her.

"In a way."

She bit her lilp, teetering on indecision. It wasn't a pretty picture, but she supposed she ought to spill it now and let the chips fall. Connel had already taken more hits in this relationship than he ought to. Maybe this would knock some sense into him.

"Daxium and I were born on Anison during a very rare celestial event involving the twin moons. The cult that took us from our parents believed we were reincarnations of deities because the event was so rare and we were the only children born during the time. The time we spent in that cult... was.... something else, but Daxium was the only source of light for me. We played together. He protected me from others. He took the beatings meant for me when I couldn't master the darkside."

Her shoulders sagged with guilt at the memory, but her voice was steady when she continued.

"Luckily the Jedi rescued us and we were sent to live at the Temple. We both excelled at Jedi training, and Daxium often helped me with saber techniques. He had already mastered so much of the darkside so he was powerful but raw. When we were ten years old Lady Sinistra made contact with Daxium."

She sighed and swirled the cup of water in her hand. "Sinistra fed Daxium a lot of manipulation. She encouraged his anger, his rage, and she told him the doppelganger prophecy. You see Sinistra and her cult believe Daxium and I are reincarnations of two gods that share a soul. In other words we are only half a person, and she let Dax know that as long as I defied him he would never be complete. When I became a padawwan he wasn't selected because of his temper and his attitude. He was sent to the Service Corps, but Sinistra told him she would teach him. He believed her to be a Rogue Jedi, and didn't know of her connection to the cult. They trained together in secret and eventually he told me everything and asked me to join them. I saw Sinistra for what she was though. A dark Jedi who was the reason our parents were murdered. I refused to join them and that was the beginning of all of this."

She shrugged and took a sip of her water. "Daxium can be charming when he wants to be. He has a heart, but he has never been great with empathy. He doesn't hate me at all. He just believes that without me he won't ever cross over to the Force and see our parents again. To him I'm the doppleganger of the woman who has half his soul and without that he will cease to exist. He misses our family, misses having a home, and Sinistra was the only mother figure he could latch onto. To him... I'm keeping him from his purpose in life by refusing to join and serve the cult. He's jealous that I found a path all my own, when he's never felt like anything but half of us."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

Connel listened to everything she had to say, and frankly wasn’t impressed. He was angry.

He was understanding.

“The big brother left behind.” That is what Daxium was. He understood her pain, her struggle, but he couldn’t ignore the consequences of her actions. The weight of responsibility bore down on him, and he knew he had to make a choice—one that would define their future, he couldn’t and wouldn’t push her to choose between the two of them, but Kat needed to look at her brother objectively sometimes, and she wasn’t. She would have to soon face the possibility of the “decision” that would change her life and he would not leave her to do it alone.

Still though, there was something about this that he did not like. The guy he met, the guy they rescued, was clearly not the person she spoke of.

Sounds compli* The ship then dropped out of hyperspace suddenly. At first, Connel looked like he wanted to go for his gear, but then he smirked.

The only person other than me who can override this ship is here. He said, arms folded as he looked towards one of the corridors. The “clunk” of docking clamps, the “hiss” of steam and air sealing clamps and through the opening walked his mother with a smile. Only she wasn’t alone. A smaller, even more energetic and friendly version of “Buster” came barreling in and running around as if looking.

Cooperrrr…. Of course the little guy came running up for licks and head scratches before running off. He was of course looking for Buster and the two of them were soon playing.

Chrysa apologized for interrupting. Went about introducing herself to Katarine, assuring that Connel had told her all about the woman. She was, however, here with a “destination” for him for later, and to pick up Buster for a playdate. Connel of course said she was welcome to stay and use the ship, she politely declined. “You two need some alone time.” Was her words. As her service droid was carrying out some of Buster’s things, she checked on her son. Commenting on how he needed to eat more. You know, being a mother.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Then making me stay​

Tags: Connel Vanagor


This day was not going at all the way Katarine had planned. What was supposed to be a quiet, uneventful morning had unraveled into a sequence of misfortunes, each more exasperating than the last. First, she'd been unceremoniously fired from a case she had poured her heart into. Then, the mysterious package arrived, the one that rattled Connel so badly she could practically feel the shift in the air around him. And now of all possible moments his mother decided to show up.

Because of course she did. The Force truly had a sense of humor.

Katarine, still flustered from the chaotic day, found herself blushing and stumbling over her words the moment she met the woman. She tried to maintain some semblance of Jedi composure, but her voice kept catching in her throat. To her immense relief, Connel's mother seemed warm and kind, but that only made Katarine more determined not to embarrass herself further.

Thankfully, Cooper provided a welcome distraction. Katarine's heart melted at the sight of him so bright-eyed, energetic, and thrilled to meet Buster. Watching the two play together was beyond adorable; Buster's tail swayed like a small, rhythmic metronome while Cooper wiggled and scampered after him.

Trying to regain control of something in this ridiculous day, Katarine asked a nearby service droid to retrieve Buster's new toys and gear from the Northstar so he and Cooper could enjoy their little playdate properly. While she did that, she couldn't help but watch Connel's mother out of the corner of her eye, fussing over her son with the practiced ease of someone who had done so his entire life. Straightening his collar, brushing imaginary dust from his shoulder, giving him That Look that only mothers possessed.

Honestly, it was adorable.

Katarine breathed out slowly, letting herself take in the moment and the chaos, the tenderness, the unexpected warmth. The day hadn't gone as planned, not even remotely, but perhaps… it wasn't all disaster.

Not with scenes like this.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

Yeah, you could be a Jedi Knight, you could be accomplished in that you are a member of a Special Forces team. You could be feared by those who instill fear, you could have a last name that inspires(and brings expectations), but to your mother, you’re still her little boy. You could be a hero to many, someone who inspires awe and respect, but to your mother, you’re still the child she raised with love and care. No matter how far you go or what you achieve, to her, you’ll always be that little boy who needs her protection and pride.

What was he going to say? “No, mom, you can’t adjust my collar”? He could be a symbol of strength and resilience, admired by many, but to her, he’s the same child she held close and nurtured. No matter how much he grows or what he accomplishes, she’ll always see him as the little boy who needs her love and care.

… and that was okay by him. Family was important. Even more important nowadays.

You know you’re welcome to stay if you want to… Again, she was his mother, what was he going to say? Of course she declined, assuring him that she was on her way to purchasing some land and creating an animal shelter. Something really within her realm, and something that made Connel smile genuinely. She of course then leaned in, once the droids assured that everything she needed was transferred over, including Buster and Cooper who were playing on her gleaming vessel. She leaned in, gave him a kiss on the cheek, told him to be safe and to treat Katarine right… she “taught him how to treat a lady”, and then whispered something that made Connel’s eyes grow to the size of airlocks.

… and within minutes, she thanked Katarine for her patience, and was on her way.

I have my own reason to go to Dahrtag now.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Why do you hurt me so bad?​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Katarine did her best not to hover, lingering instead just far enough away to give Connel and his mother the space they needed. Still, she couldn't help glancing over now and then. Connel's eyes had gone comically wide the instant his mother leaned in and whispered something to him, something clearly important, given the way his shoulders stiffened and his eyes widened. Whatever she'd said hadn't been meant for Katarine's ears, but the shift in Connel's expression told her enough: it wasn't nothing.

When their quiet conversation concluded, Katarine stepped forward to say her goodbyes. Katarine watched them go until the hatch hissed closed. A strange warmth settled in her chest, knowing the little family would be well away from the dangers of the mission ahead.

The moment the shuttle lifted off, the air around Connel changed. His gaze drifted in the direction of the departing vessel for a heartbeat, then slid away, shadowed.

"I have my own reason to go to Dahrtag now."

Katarine's brows drew together. That tone sounded low, distant, weighted, and it pulled at the Investigator in her. She stepped closer, her boots clicking softly on the durasteel deck.

"Care to fill me in?" she asked gently, though the concern in her voice was unmistakable. "Because whatever she told you… it hit you hard."

She waited, calm but steady, giving him the space to choose how much to reveal, yet making it clear she wasn't about to let him carry it alone.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

He was caught off guard, she wanted to know what mother had said to him, it was private, but really if he wanted her to trust him, he had to trust her. He did, but he needed to show Kat that he did. So…

Well, she told me two things. The first one was that Dahrtag is important for me to go to… it’s in regard to something I have going on. He wasn’t sure if he wanted her to carry the burden he did. Not that she couldn’t but this was more a personal quest, and if he were to fail, it would affect her. Connel did not want that to happen. The second thing is none of your business, but something every mother would say to their son, I’m assuming, when they have someone important to them nearby. He said with a genuine smirk.

Then he got serious again… This “Sinistra”... would that be “Malama Sinistra”?

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

It would help me to know​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Well, she told me two things. The first one was that Dahrtag is important for me to go to… it's in regard to something I have going on.

Katarine raised her eyebrow at him. "And what exactly do you have going on?" She wasn't trying to pry but the investigator in her was making connections. They get a package of a map of Dahrtag and suddenly he needs to go there for other reasons? This might be a clue about who sent the package. That or it was something he was going through and she wanted to help if she could. He helped her rescue her twin after all. When he mentioned the second thing she looked at him in a puzzled way, her mind trying to work out what he was keeping to himself.

This "Sinistra"... would that be "Malama Sinistra"?

"I'm not sure. She introduced herself as 'Lady Sinistra' to Daxium but I don't think that's her real name. I'm fairly certain its a title, sort of like a darth title, but for a Dark Jedi. Dax might now though. He did spent over ten years training with her."

Not that she wanted to contact him, or that Connel wanted that, but the clues were stringing together.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

She seemed to crash out at him saying he had his own reasons to go to Dahrtag. It was almost off-putting, but with things the way they were right now, he had to let it go. He knew she was under a lot of stress, and her reaction was likely a reflection of that. Still, it stung to be spoken to so harshly, even if unintentional, which it no doubt was. He decided to give her some space, verbally speaking, hoping they could resolve things later when tensions had cooled.

Since we’ve last seen each other, I’ve been through a lot, personally speaking. He told her about the meditations, about the visions he had, and the discussions. He told her about how he had a conversation with his father(‘s ghost), his mother, and a holocron, all about the Dark Side. Reminding how his mother was once a Sith Lord, and she was the one to talk to about this because of her nature.

She told me about several locations to approach if I am going to understand the Force as a whole. She’s given me several locations out of her personal experience. Dahrtag is one of them. What I am going to find in that cemetery world… no idea.

Then he sighed. As for Sinistra… Malama Sinistra was once a Jedi Knight, knighted just after my father was and it made him her “friendly” rival. I don’t know the whole story about her, but she was very… “competitive”... but it held her back, always more concerned with trying to find an advantage than betterment… the easy way out… when he reached the level of “Master” and she did not… she disappeared… rumored to have found something… “Dark”.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Do I stand in your way​

Tags: Connel Vanagor


Katarine sensed it before she fully registered it, a faint, almost imperceptible ripple in his emotions, the kind that brushed against her awareness like a shift in air pressure before a storm. Something in him had tightened, recoiled ever so slightly, and she couldn't tell if it was her question that had caused it or something already gnawing at him beneath the surface. For a heartbeat, doubt flickered through her. Maybe she shouldn't have pushed this topic. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about it.

But when he finally spoke, the truth came out in measured, thoughtful pieces. He told her about what he'd been wrestling with, about peeling back layers of Force teachings to view it not as light and dark but as one vast, interconnected current. It was a dangerous undertaking and one most Jedi wouldn't even dare to entertain, yet the conviction behind his words was unmistakable. This mattered to him. Deeply.

As she listened, the tension in her chest coiled tighter. She understood the risks more than she wanted to admit. Still, she also understood him.

"I'll help however I can," she said, letting her voice soften as she offered a small, steadying smile. She hoped it would ease the sharp edge of unease threading between them, maybe it was hers, maybe his, maybe both. Whatever path he was stepping onto, she wasn't about to let him walk it alone.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

“I’ll help however I can…” words she used to be comforting and to show him that he doesn’t have to do this alone. The question is, how could she help? Connel didn’t even know what he was getting into yet. Right now he was doing little more than winging it and adapting… maybe that’s it.

Thank you, but I’m not sure what you could do right now. He hoped that he was clearly trying not to be dismissive when he said that. Connel realized that he needed to figure out his next steps before involving others. For now, he appreciated the offer but wasn’t ready to fully accept help without a clear plan.

I’m not Mustafar bent on changing the dynamic of things… just… my Mother was once a Sith… and my Father… was… well…

Then he sighed. I’m sure that to anyone who hears me say that is going to think “Yeah, I’ve done that…” or “Yeah, that’s normal…” and that’s fine, but when I can explain the why I’ll be better able to explain the what...

Then as if on cue, the notifier that they were approaching their destination lit up, and the ship dropped out of hyperspace, though this time on purpose.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Or am I the best thing you've had?​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Katarine could tell he wasn’t certain of the new path he was on. She could relate to that. Right now that was how she felt about her own future. Sometimes it felt like she was an old timer who truly had nothing else to give. It was frustrating not to have a plan and she understood he wanted to have one before involving others.

“Just trust in the Force. The answers will come.”

Wow what a Jedi Master thing to say. She smirked at her own words. Maybe there was still some life left in this old gal after all.

The dropped out of hyperspace and she got a view of the planet below. It had a sense of morbid intrigue which she guessed was normal for a grave yard of this size.

“Well… last chance to turn back.”

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

I do… I do… When the ship dropped out of hyperspace, and she looked at him, Connel pressed a panel button and stood.

Yeah, it is so. So if you’re going to back out… go ahead and hang out here.

Then he sighed, reached for his mask and headed to his]Defender slowly.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

Believe me, believe me​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

Katarine sighed as Connel turned into his all work and no play persona. She knew it was how he distanced himself and kept to the mission, but sometimes she worried the mask was cutting off his personality in more ways than one. She supposed it was a necessary sacrifice.

Yeah, it is so. So if you're going to back out… go ahead and hang out here.

"Not a chance."

She followed him and together they followed the map. Kat and Connel moved quietly through the overgrown ruins, the ancient map spread between them and glowing faintly in the fading light. Each turn they followed seemed to pulse with a strange, guiding energy, leading them deeper into the forgotten valley. As the wind shifted, they saw it at last—the dark mouth of a buried tomb carved into the cliffside, waiting like something that had been expecting them all along.

She glanced down at the secretive map he had been sent and back up at the cliff side.

"I think this is it."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

The trip down was uncomfortable. She was clearly annoyed with him and he knew why. She didn’t like his attitude, but frankly, what was she expecting? He had been distant and unresponsive, but she had expected more effort from him. He knew he had to make amends, but he wasn’t sure how. The tension between them was palpable, and he could feel her frustration growing with every passing moment.

When they approached the tomb, that was his chance to say something.

I’m not stupid, you know. Not claiming that this is what you thought, but I see your frustration. You don’t like my gear. I get it. However, this is not only a coping mechanism, when my mask is on, I can be “someone else”. I can also walk around freely with it off without easily being recognized. If this is an issue… er[/I] slowly.

He really did not say much of anything else, letting the subject lie. If she wanted to talk more, fine, but she deserved to know his view if nothing else.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​

 

[Katarine Ryiah]

I can't tell you why​

Tags: Connel Vanagor

His statement puzzled her, but she could tell he was worried he had upset her. She stopped as he spoke, and met him with a clear gaze of her deep green eyes.

"Connel... I do not think you are stupid. I just worry for you because I care about you." She smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder, hopping that relieved some of the tension he was feeling.


They reached the tomb and stopped. Katarine lit a glowstick so they could see and ran it over the hieroglyphics. Katarine ran a finger over them, her lips moving soundlessly.

"This is an ancient language the Nightsisters used...." She frowned, wondering why they would end up here of all places. Did she have any connections to witches?

"Its a warning I think. Stepping inside will show you two possible futures."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Mistakes will be made…
Approaching planet
Xozhixi

Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
[Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]

He did little more than nod at her assertion and clap her shoulder gently. There was no need to press the issue further as they both said what they needed to say.

While she was running a glowstick over the hieroglyphics, Connel was pulling out the Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad from one of the pockets in his web gear, pulled out the crystal and inserted it into the visor of his mask. Activating the datapad and arranging a holomessage to Brooke Waters , he asked in the message “When you get the chance. Just curious if you recognize this type of writing. On Dahrtag and following a lead. -C”

He didn’t know her well, but she had worked with his father on something important to him, so that was good enough. She was also there for his memorial, as well as recently having run into each other on Dxun.

We came this far… going to have to address this anyway.

Pulling “Day”, one of his shortsabers, he looked her way. He wouldn’t charge in, it was her trip, so it was her call.

TAGS • Katarine Ryiah
Personal Effects - Omega Squad Loadouts - Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise​