First Reply Lost in the Sauce

[Jasper Kai'el]

Lost in the Sauce
Coruscant, Level 1342​

Jasper felt hollow inside. Dazed, confused, questioning his own identity, and pretty much every other terrible emotion he could think off. How he had gone into a downward spiral was complicated, as he had been doing increasingly well since coming back to the New Jedi Order. Unfortunately, he still had one looming question on his mind over these past few weeks: Jastile Kai’el, the man who had left him with the New Jedi Order. At first, Jasper assumed the man to be a relative of his, maybe a father or grandfather. Why else would they have the same last name? When he was on Empress Teta, Jastile even contacted him via Telepathy, offering to meet him on Dantooine in the flesh. Jasper still had yet to take up the offer. Instead, he chose to discover more on his own terms.

He had gone through the Jedi archives again, looking for logged DNA samples. When that failed, Jasper went through the GA, looking to see if anyone had logged genetic information that might match his. Unfortunately, he found his answer. Apparently, Jastile had dabbled in the world of science, registering his own DNA for research use. It didn’t take much longer for the dots to connect in his head, but to be sure he tracked down an apartment Jastile had owned on Coruscant. He was hoping to break in and find a DNA sample to compare with his own somewhere. Instead, he found a biometric lock. It opened for Jasper without failure.

So there he was, beneath the Jedi and the Senate, sitting in the back corner of a local diner with an extra large pizza. If he was going to have an identity crisis, he at least needed to be able to stress eat. Was Jasper even himself, or was he really just a carbon copy of this Jastile guy? Was he acting because of what he wanted, or were his emotions and behaviors predetermined by the genetic information of this old Jedi master? What if it was all synthetic? His care for his friends… his desire to help people… his social anxiety… Was any of it real?

The tattoo on his arm finally had an explanation at least. It was probably a signature of some kind, a mark tying him back to the man who created him. Jasper didn’t like that it had an answer now. He preferred it when he didn’t understand where the tattoo came from. He sunk his teeth into the first slice of pizza, cheese melting off in strings as he tore apart the slice. Jasper set the pizza slice down in the box, laying his head down on the table.

He hadn’t exactly established himself as a socially confident individual, but at least he hadn’t been an emotional wreck. Now Jasper had nothing to pride himself in. At least he was alone.

 

[Ichika Masudo]

LOCATION: Level 1342
TIME: Midday

She wasn't sure what she would find down here, but it was only to take a look that she came at all.

Though security and policing was much more prevalent in the Alliance capital, Ichika Masudo was nonetheless curious about what the lower levels of the ecumenopolis would contain, and she had been sating her curiosity with her senses, getting a feel for the less apparent details, peeking into shops, walking past a diner with delicious smells...

....and backing up to take another look when her stomach lodged a complaint that her last meal was closer to daybreak and she'd been at this for hours. She glanced at her chrono, smiled with a delicate sigh at herself, and went in to find a table. There were all kinds of beings here, of different colours, ages, shapes, some speaking languages she didn't understand, and... then there was the blonde head and ponytail, slouched over a table next to an open box of pizza.

Is he asleep? Here?

Her eyebrows lifted, but were pulled inward by the narrowing of her eyes as she focused just enough to single the other padawan out amongst the din of conversation and melange of emotion, only getting so far as a few seconds before her focus was broken.

"Yo, girly, this ain't a place for statues..."

Her eyes widened back up, and she looked at the middle-aged woman behind the counter, and gave an apologetic smile, wordlessly reaching for a ticket pad and writing her order. Then pointing to herself, and pointing out the other padawan, with a finger to her lips she wove her way to the back of the diner and slipped into a seat across from Jasper.

"Hey..."

Jasper Kai'el

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[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Level 1342
Tags: Ichika Masudo ​

"Hey..."

Jasper was no longer alone. A zeltron girl had slipped onto the bench across from him, getting his attention. He had seen the girl before, at least recently. She was a fellow padawan, one he had been in several classes with over the past few days. Unfortunately, names weren't his strong suit. She probably gave it at some point, but he was struggling to remember. That didn't bother him much at the moment. The duelist had other things on his mind.

"Oh," Jasper responded, his voice deflated. "Hey..."

Jasper seemed to zone out for a brief moment, lost in though. Did he want to respond? Would it even do anything to help his situation? As far as Daisy was concerned, she was interacting with a complete wreck of an individual. Why even make the effort to sit with him in the first place? Jasper snapped back to the moment, letting out an exhausted exhale.

"Didn't know anyone else in the order knew about this place," Jasper admitted in a tired tone. "Even Jedi like to forget that the lower levels exist sometimes..." A sad but true statement. So much talk of change, yet they always seemed to ignore the problems right under their feet. "You can help yourself to a slice if you want. I can't really eat the whole thing..."

That was a lie. Jasper was completely prepared to eat the entire pizza in one sitting so he could wake up and feel miserable, but emotional turmoil was admittedly not that befitting of a Jedi. Even so, he couldn't work up the strength to lift his head off the table.

 

[Ichika Masudo]

LOCATION: Level 1342 - Trista's Diner
TIME: Midday
TAGS: Jasper Kai'el

She watched him, silently, patiently. He wasn’t all there… no, he was somewhere else, someplace else, and it came through in his voice and weary demeanour. A small smile put a curve to her lips, listening to him and the despondency baked into his words. The lie.

“That’s okay,” she said with a delicate shake of her head, “I already ordered.”

Then, as if to take a cue from Jasper, she folded her arms on the table, and laid her white-haired head there. To see him on the same level, and perhaps to see if the perspective was different down here.

“I’m here because I was curious what lay below,” Daisy said about her presence here, giving no indication that there was a reason for that curiosity, “and I got hungry while looking around.”

She blinked a slow blink.

“But you’re not here because you’re hungry,” she stated softly, a twinge of curiosity to her words, “even if you might be hungry.”

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[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Level 1342
Tags: Ichika Masudo ​

“But you’re not here because you’re hungry,” she stated softly, a twinge of curiosity to her words, “even if you might be hungry.”

She had read him like an open book. The state that Jasper was in was so obvious that it could be seen from a mile away. Now that she had laid her head down and was looking him in the eyes, Jasper couldn't lie. He was terrible at lying.

"Yeah, I'm not here to eat," Jasper admitted, "Just... to hide from the world."

Jasper let out a faint sigh, allowing his cheek to sink deeper into the top of the table. Should he explain everything? On the one hand, he barely knew Daisy. On the other, who else could he reasonably speak to? There was so much on Jasper's mind that he needed to say, but simply didn't know how to get it out. Maybe talking to the padawan in front of him was a good place to start. It couldn't hurt, could it?

"Have you ever had a moment where you realize you weren't what you thought you were?"

 

[Ichika Masudo]

LOCATION: Level 1342 - Trista's Diner
TIME: Midday
TAGS: Jasper Kai'el

She knew what a weight looked like on the shoulders of another. Her father carried it well, and it simply seemed part and parcel of who he was as a man, a Jedi, raising her mostly alone... but whatever weighed on Jasper had him pinned to a table in public. Not that the public tended to pay others much mind, but he looked like he could sink right through the tabletop and down to the floor.

"I..." but soon as she went to reply, her order of spicy ramen arrived, and she lifted her head, sitting up to gracefully accept her meal and chopsticks onto the table, "thank you."

The bowl of noodles and other add-ons was of course a bit too hot to eat right away, so she settled her hands in her lap for the time being, and returned her attention to the padawan across from her, waiting another couple moments before speaking again.

"I have always known I was adopted," she began, "but my father only let me know about the particulars of my origins, at different stages when I could understand and accept the facts in a healthy way," Daisy glanced down at the steaming bowl of ramen, then back to Jasper; she didn't know him very well either, and in most cases she wouldn't talk about such personal things so easily, but there was a time, and there was a place, and she weighed whether divulging more would have a purpose, "I didn't find out the full extent of the truth until a couple of years ago. What they were, what they did..."

Her eyebrows pulled upward, just a little, and she gave her head a little shake.

"...it was hard to accept at first, and it hurt my pride in myself at the time," her cordial smile returned, and she picked up her chopsticks, "why do you ask?"

​

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[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Level 1342
Tags: Ichika Masudo ​

"Well..." Jasper began in response to her question. "I found out I wasn't who I thought I was..."

Where could he even begin with this? The logical answer was the beginning, but did he even need to go into that much detail? And of course, there was the matter of getting across his revelation in a manner that made him feel the most comfortable. He couldn't just say it, let alone have it be the first thing he said. Jasper took a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing.

"I grew up alone in the Temple," Jasper explained. "I didn't exactly have a family, at least not one that I knew of... but recently I've been having strange dreams about an old man. Turns out he's a real person, and the guy who left me at the Temple. He, uh, had the same last name as me. I just assumed that he was my father and was content to leave it at that. Then I looked into his public record. He registered his DNA for scientific research..."

His sentence trailed off. The rest was pretty self explanatory, given that there was only so much an individual could do with DNA. Jasper really just didn't want to go into any further detail. He had already laid the backstory out in a way that was too forward for his liking.

"So yeah..." he sighed, "I guess I'm a clone of this guy or something."

It was hard for Jasper to sound enthusiastic about this in any way. He was still trying to comprehend it all, knowing that everything in his life up to this point could have been predetermined by a string of DNA from another person. Maybe it would've been better if he had just ignored all of this and continued on with his Jedi business.

 

[Ichika Masudo]

LOCATION: Level 1342 - Trista's Diner
TIME: Midday
TAGS: Jasper Kai'el

She planted both her elbows on the table, laced her fingers together, and rested her chin on that bridge, listening intently to Jasper as he divulged what was eating at him. When he finished, and she ran the facts over in her head, she returned to him with a curious look.

“You’re still Jasper.”

Well, that made sense to her, anyway. She was still Daisy, no matter her origins, but how was she going to explain this? She nipped at the inside of her cheek, thoughtfully.

“Hm… oh, okay. I have it! You know what Zeltrons are like, yes?” A pause, a smile, and a note of mirth woven into her next words. “Other than me, of course!”

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[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Level 1342
Tags: Ichika Masudo ​

“Hm… oh, okay. I have it! You know what Zeltrons are like, yes?” A pause, a smile, and a note of mirth woven into her next words. “Other than me, of course!”

"Kinda," Jasper responded, scratching at the bridge of his nose. "I know that you have that... pheromone thing. Y'know, the emotion thing."

He sounded stupid. That was, in truth, the extent of his knowledge. Jasper was, admittedly, not very well versed in the customs of other groups. He knew Jedi, he knew Coruscant underbelly, and he definitely knew criminal. Still, that wasn't much in the grant scheme of things. Jasper knew for a fact that if Daisy were to ask him who the sitting Chancellor was at this very moment, he would have no idea. The world was a blur around him, one he sort of just found himself existing in.

"What are you getting at?" he asked with a frown.

 

[Ichika Masudo]

LOCATION: Level 1342 - Trista's Diner
TIME: Midday
TAGS: Jasper Kai'el

She definitely stared at him. Blinked. He... didn't get out much, did he? Who didn't know about Zeltrons?

"What I am... 'getting at', as you put it," she started, her smile continuing as she picked up her chopsticks, "is that Zeltrons tend to dress in very ehh... revealing clothing, and are very hmm... sexual."

Daisy said a quiet thanks, and began to pull up some noodles out of the bowl.

"I'm half-Zeltron," she held the chopsticks laden with noodles aloft, "and that isn't me at all," she insisted, her nose wrinkling before she started guiding the noodles into her mouth, and started to slurp. Yeah, that wasn't her, but that didn't mean she didn't gather her own share of glances, even covered up as she usually was! It came with the pink-skinned territory.

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[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Level 1342
Tags: Ichika Masudo ​

"is that Zeltrons tend to dress in very ehh... revealing clothing, and are very hmm... sexual."

"Oh," Jasper frowned.

Now that he thought about it, this did seem to be common amongst the Zeltrons he had seen. Jasper had just assumed it allowed for freedom of movement, but he was beginning to realize that what Daisy was saying made a lot more since. Yet, based on everything he knew about the padawan, it seemed that this had little effect on her, and her statement about not only being dictated by her Zeltron genes began to click in his head.

"I... I guess that makes sense," he admitted. "Maybe I am overthinking this..."

It didn't quash all of his anxieties. Jasper still had so many questions about where he came from, who had made him, and why he even existed in the first place. These weren't thoughts that could be so easily whisked away.

"This is all so confusing," Jasper sighed, though some of his liveness was clearly coming back. "I wasn't expecting to have all of this dropped on me so... I dunno, suddenly? Out of the blue without warning? I don't even know where to begin to find out what lead to... me, I guess."

 

[Ichika Masudo]

THE PINK ATRISIAN
NEW JEDI ORDER
LEVEL 1342 - CORUSCANT
Jasper Kai'el

As he spoke, she continued to eat. She was glad he grasped what she was saying, because it was more convincing than just saying what she was trying to get across, and it easily implied that she had an idea of what she was talking about. She chewed her second mouthful of noodles for a moment, and swallowed.

"I'm... not sure where you would start, either." Daisy frowned lightly for a moment, then it came to her, "Oh! Maybe... mmm... do you know where you were ehhh... made? Maybe you can start there."

Even she wasn't sure about what that would yield, but it made sense as a starting point.

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[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Level 1342
Tags: Ichika Masudo ​

"Oh! Maybe... mmm... do you know where you were ehhh... made? Maybe you can start there."

"No," he shrugged. "I don't know how I'd go about finding it."

It was an interesting prospect. The place where he was created would surely hold valuable information about the process in which he was made. Still, what good would that do him? He was skeptical of how effective such an investigation would be in improving his mental state. It didn't help that Jasper had no clue where it was.

"I don't know if I can manifest a lead out of thin air," he sighed. "I doubt I'll be finding the place any time soon."

 

[Ichika Masudo]

THE PINK ATRISIAN
NEW JEDI ORDER
LEVEL 1342 - CORUSCANT
Jasper Kai'el

She kept eating, taking another few slurps of noodles while Jasper replied.

“Ehh, well…” Daisy mused, “...when you do find something… whatever you find out….”

The half-Zeltron plunged her chopsticks into the bowl again, and began pulling up another bit of noodles.

“...and what you choose to do with that knowledge? Just remember you’re still you.” She paused before beginning another slurp. “You’re not going to suddenly become a completely different person.” She was just about to put that mouthful in, but paused again and canted her head slightly to one side, another thought occurring to her, “Unless you hit your head too many times, maybe?”

Only then did she push those noodles into her mouth.

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[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Level 1342
Tags: Ichika Masudo ​

“You’re not going to suddenly become a completely different person.”

Jasper lifted up his head, letting out an exhausted exhale as he tilted it back. She was right. Regardless of how he felt on the matter, his core identity wasn't going to change in an instant. He was still him, even if there was more to that than he was aware of. Strangely, he felt something for a brief moment. Relief, perhaps. Reassurance that he had, indeed, been overthinking a lot of it. Granted, Jasper still felt weird about it all, but this was a good first step.

"Thanks," he sighed, managing a faint smile. "I'll... keep what you said in mind. Guess I'm really good at making myself paranoid..."

He would need to work on that one. Jasper needed to go about combating his doubts, but this was a battle for another day. For now, he was simply going to try to not overthink things.

"I'll make sure that I don't hit my head. For safe measure."

End​