Private Look at the bright side [Cerys Dyn]

[Balun Dashiell]

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
INVENTORY: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
TAGS: Cerys Dyn

​

Balun Dashiell had thought that there were few things that his Master had been capable of nowadays that could still surprise him after years of knowing and training alongside her, the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order having given him a vastly different first impression compared to what he had imagined he'd have received from most Jedi the day they had first met. She had been friendly and welcoming, open and honest and all too happy to delve into conversations that Balun had been apprehensive about when they hadn't known one another, yet she had sensed or seen something about him, he had later gathered, which explained why she had offered to take him on as her apprentice the first day they had spoken and spent time together and from there Balun had learned to trust her instincts, for Ala Quin had rarely been proven wrong. However, this particular decision had yet to run its course, and as Balun sat within the meditation chamber of the Jedi Temple, Shiraya's Sanctuary, awaiting his newly appointed Apprentice, he couldn't help but wonder what it was that his former Master had seen, leading to this particular fate.

Cerys Dyn and Balun had been through a good deal together. Their first meeting had been largely set up, an ambush by their masters, Ala Quin and Brandyn Sal-Soren, in the hope of encouraging Cerys and him both to bond, to find an ally in one another, as they were more or less loners. Balun had no issues with being social, but he rarely opened up to others and didn't have any real friends he spent time with regularly. Of course, the ambush had gone terribly, and the two had traded insults and jibes. Balun had found it rather enjoyable in a sort of competitive rivalry kind of way, but he hadn't seen any sort of promise of friendship or anything else, for that matter. They had merely met and made a lasting impression, as it would later turn out. Over the course of assignments, field missions, and bumping into one another within the training wing, however, they inevitably learned to tolerate each other and, dare he say it, rely on each other when engaging hostiles as a team. By the time they were sent to Sarko IV and ambushed by the Black Sun Syndicate, Balun had even come to care for her, though he had tried to ignore it and tell himself otherwise. That was when Cerys had up and disappeared.

Seated in the centre of the room at the far end, he reflected on these events and the later rescue on Genarius. Balun had been searching for Cerys for nearly a year, and his Master had tried to caution him against holding out much hope for a positive outcome. He understood her intentions; a Jedi's reliance on attachment and his desire to find her had been evidently strong when explaining himself to Ala, but he hadn't been able to give it up. It hadn't been an obsession; it had been concern and care for her well-being. The uncertainty of what she had been going through and what state she was in. As it had turned out, the Force had placed them on the same world, the same city on two separate occasions, and it was clearly the will of the Force that they find each other again, but for what purpose and what outcome, time would only tell.

For now, however, Balun meant to talk to Cerys about how she felt being back on Naboo. Especially her being apprenticed to him, of all people.

Former Mentor: Ala Quin
Jedi Apprentice: Cerys Dyn
Major Faction: The High Republic
Sub-Faction: Jhaessa Prime
Conglomerate: Dashiell Incorporated™
Subsidiary Company: Dashiell Retrofit™​

"Speech"
'Thought'​

 

[Cerys Dyn]

Cerys had walked past the door to the room where Balun sat waiting, oh, about four times already. She had hoped to be reassigned to Brandyn, or perhaps to Elenna Sylari once again. But no, those were rewards not punishments. And a punishment was clearly what she deserverd.

Balun? BALUN!?

What was the Grandmaster thinking? Didn't Ala understand just how...awkward that was going to be? Not for any reason in particular, and not for any reason she was going to contemplate. It just simply was. It was more awkward than a mynock in a ball gown.

She could not avoid it forever though. Eventually she would have to confront the reality that ole smokey-breath was supposed to be the one to guide her back into the Jedi fold, and presumably towards knighthood.

The door slid open. Cerys saw him sitting there, waiting. Him and his stupid hair, and that look he got on his face when he pretended to care. Aaargh. It was so infuriating.

And she immediately turned around and walked away.

Balun Dashiell​

 

[Balun Dashiell]

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
INVENTORY: Jedi Robes | Lightsaber
TAGS: Cerys Dyn

​

A sigh escaped him as the doors closed behind Cerys Dyn , only now opening his eyes to look ahead to the empty room.

She had entered the meditation chamber for but a moment, and her anxiety had been palpable. She was uncertain, perhaps of herself and of their pairing, much of the same feelings that he himself shared, and yet they didn't have much choice but to move forward. They needed to make this work, and running away wasn't an option.

Closing his eyes once again, this time Balun connected to the Force around him expanding his reach a great distance and within a moment felt Cerys' presence a short distance down the corridor; "I'm not going to chase you. If you want to be a Jedi, you need to learn to face your fears" his words would flood her mind, telepathic communication via the Force.

He exhaled suddenly, cutting the connection and bringing himself back into the present room, silent and peaceful.

Cerys had been through a lot. Balun would have thought that her Imperial captivity would have put her through more intimidating experiences than being apprenticed under his tutelage, if one could call it that. He wondered if he even knew how to teach someone, let alone someone like Cerys, who he expected knew as much, if not more than Balun himself did.

His comment about facing her fears, however, was as much a challenge to her as it was a dig at her, a provocation to get her back in the room and have the pair get started on their assigned journey together.

Former Mentor: Ala Quin
Jedi Apprentice: Cerys Dyn
Major Faction: The High Republic
Sub-Faction: Jhaessa Prime
Conglomerate: Dashiell Incorporated™
Subsidiary Company: Dashiell Retrofit™​

"Speech"
'Thought'​

 

[Cerys Dyn]

Her pace slowed. And Cerys stopped to rest her shoulder against the corner of the wall she had just about to round. Her head rested against the wall. Her eyes closed. And she sighed.

He was right.

That alone was enough to make her want to not go back. She didn't seriously think he would gloat about his "correctness", but it certainly helped her to think that he would. It helped her avoid...

Balun. Why...why are you willing to even bother with me?

The words fell out of her mind as if something other had pushed them forth. A moment of honesty born of her desperate desire to finally find a home.

You know the grandmaster is just a little big crazy...you would have to be to do a job like that...

Balun Dashiell​

 

[Balun Dashiell]

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
LOCATION: Shiraya's Sanctuary, Meditation Chamber
INVENTORY: High Republic Jedi Robes | Crossguard Lightsaber | Standard Lightsaber
TAGS: Cerys Dyn

​

Though his eyes remained closed, Balun sat in a meditative position, his legs crossed and hands lightly resting atop his knees, his brows furrowed as he sensed the fluctuating emotions of Cerys Dyn .

To his mind, she was a danger to herself alone, the one thing standing in her way to progress and ascension to Knighthood. She could spar with the best students and typically came out on top. She had seen live combat and fought sabre-to-sabre against Sith combatants and lived to tell the tale, yet it was her volatile emotional state that kept her from going any further.

Something that was quickly becoming apparent to Balun, as he had previously suspected, was that her antisocial tendencies were the root of her shortcomings. She had at times spoken in brief about her older traditionalist Master, where she had learned to shun any form of attachment, yet she hadn't opened up to Balun quite enough beyond giving him the impression that those teaching had left her relatively alone, without genuine encouragement and trusted guidance in the master's absence. He needed Cerys to learn to trust him completely, to open up. But that in itself felt like starting down the thrusters of an S-91X and expecting not to get fried.

Time today was irrelevant, as Kellan Dashiell was on the farm with Makai Dashiell and his family; thus, Balun had no need to hurry. Sooner or later, Cerys would eventually find the will to drag herself back into the room, and until then, Balun would continue to meditate. Something he hadn't committed to far often enough as he should have.

Surrounded by the force, he allowed his consciousness to expand outward, his present thoughts drifting away, leaving his mind empty as if taken by a passing breeze. Here in this place, calm settled over him, and he no longer felt the dense comfort of the cushion that he was seated upon, nor saw the room surrounding him, but instead pictured the entirety of space surrounding him in all directions.

Such was the Force, vast and endless, incomprehensible. Every speck of light a star, and every star giving life to several planets capable of sustaining thousands more lives, all of which the Force connected in a giant web of ethereal energies. No single mind could claim to understand the will of the Force in a single lifetime. The Jedi had studied the Force for millennia, and many found their theories contradictory.

For Balun, faith outweighed proof, as the only evidence he required was what he was capable of through his training and what he had learned along the way. The rest, the journey and what lies ahead for him and Cerys? That was where faith in the Force would decide. And no small amount of self-restraint and discipline, of course.

Former Mentor: Ala Quin
Jedi Apprentice: Cerys Dyn
Major Faction: The High Republic
Sub-Faction: Jhaessa Prime
Conglomerate: Dashiell Incorporated™
Subsidiary Company: Dashiell Retrofit™​

"Speech"
'Thought'​

 

[Cerys Dyn]

She felt his presence through the Force. But he did not respond. Cerys' lekku twitched before she felt the irritation rise within her chest. The latter did not take long though.

So. Absolutely typical. This was just like him.

One of her hands balled up into a fist, and her teeth clenched firmly while she waited. It was like waiting for a ping on a commlink, a ping that never came. Who would do something like that? Who would receive a message, clearly have understood the message and then just...not reply?

Spinning about on her heels, Cerys began the march back to Balun. Her pace and internal fire started intensely, but with each step she wavered, and then recommitted to her annoyance, and then wavered to a greater degree. By the time she approached Balun's place of meditation, she had become decidedly sheepish.

"I...I am going to need...a lot...of help."

Balun Dashiell​

 

[Balun Dashiell]

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
LOCATION: Shiraya's Sanctuary, Meditation Chamber
INVENTORY: High Republic Jedi Robes | Crossguard Lightsaber | Standard Lightsaber
TAGS: Cerys Dyn

​

His eyes opened at the sound of her voice, her presence in the very room now standing before him, having brought Balun out of his meditative trance and back to reality, the words received as though he had been actively listening with conscious presence, despite his mind and spirit having been elsewhere entirely. The Force was a wonder to behold.

"First of all, Cerys, your biggest hurdle, I believe, is your lack of confidence in yourself. You know very well how capable you are as a practitioner, yet you seem less sure of yourself since Sarko IV." Balun spoke, pausing only to let Cerys digest his words and the mention of the fateful day she had chosen to depart the Jedi Order. There was no blame in Balun's tone, no resentment in his presence; it was simply a statement of fact coming from his perspective. "Self-Esteem is something I can relate to, but we can work on that as we train daily. We've got six months before you will be approved for field assignments, so we will make the most of the Temples training wing".

"Secondly...-And it is only because we are speaking in private that I am willing to say this to you--I questioned Ala....-Master Quin on her decision to pair us together as Master and Padawan. It felt very....Inappropriate, my Knighting coming off the back of your disciplinary hearing with the Council. I had been there only to support your return," he frowned, his gaze shifting beyond Cerys momentarily as he recalled his conversation with their Grandmaster on the day. Cerys wasn't the only one who felt entirely uncomfortable with the affair.

He did his best to summarise what little an answer his former Master had provided: "Grandmaster Quin feels there is much that you and I can learn from one another, though we don't see it. Until now, we have worked as friends and allies within the Order. Being paired as Master and Apprentice places new responsibilities and restrictions upon us. There will be periods of difficulty there for both of us in which we will need to adjust, specifically in the hierarchy that the Order now places over us...-Regardless of how we might not see things as such".

Balun sighed, exhaling heavily and letting his shoulders drop, as though releasing a heavy weight from himself; "What I mean to say is you will need to follow my instructions in the presence of the other Jedi, especially in the field. And try to respect my guidance when I am seeking to help you. That said, I am not so arrogant as to think myself all-knowing. I've been a Jedi Knight for about five seconds, and I have so much to learn myself, so you and I are going to have to figure things out together along the way".

"This is new to both of us, Cerys. It's okay to feel wary and uncertain, but we will work through it together. All I ask is that you give it your best and speak your mind openly with me when you have concerns or questions. I am also trying to better myself as a Jedi, and will give it everything I have to see you, and I succeed together," he concluded. This was uncharted territory for them both, and though there were things that he could have said, feelings that perhaps Cerys might yet bring up, Balun knew that his commitment as a Master and Jedi Knight needed to come first and foremost.

Former Mentor: Ala Quin
Jedi Apprentice: Cerys Dyn
Major Faction: The High Republic
Sub-Faction: Jhaessa Prime
Conglomerate: Dashiell Incorporated™
Subsidiary Company: Dashiell Retrofit™​

"Speech"
'Thought'​

 

[Cerys Dyn]

She stood, hip growing more askew and hand planting on it more firmly as he talked. Her expression tried to remain neutral, but it vacillated between near eye-rolls, frowns, resigned sighs and self-effacing frustration in reply to each variant.

He was right. He was also wrong. But she listened. And through it all, she tried — she really tried — to not be a complete and utter brat. Settling somewhere around fifty percent.

"I know why the Grandmaster is punishing me," she said, wincing at her bluntness, "but why is she punishing you?"

She did not mean it in the way he thought she was alluding too. It seemed she was insinuating that their friendship would be some sort of hinderance to them being able to work together as Master and Apprentice. But they weren't really friends. Didn't she have to give some sort of approval for that? This attachment business was fairly new after all.

He seemed to be a professional at it though. She leaned on his shoulder one time — one time — and all of a sudden they were buddies. Well, if that was the case, she would not be leaning on his shoulder ever again. He smelled like smoke anyway. It made her nose itch.

She walked, nay she sauntered with attitude, over to her new master, and sat in front of him, crossing her legs, and placing her hands on her knees. If she was going to do this, she might as well get used to it. She did want to be a Jedi Knight after all.

"Six months going on missions by yourself. Hopefully I won't need a new master at the end of it."

Balun Dashiell​

 

[Balun Dashiell]

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
LOCATION: Shiraya's Sanctuary, Meditation Chamber
INVENTORY: High Republic Jedi Robes | Crossguard Lightsaber | Standard Lightsaber
TAGS: Cerys Dyn

​

"Her decision definitely shocked me. I didn't see it coming at all," Balun chuckled softly under his breath as he replied to Cerys Dyn 's remark about their being punished, "But I don't see it that way. Yes, it changes some things, but for you, it could have been much worse." he would remind her that she could have been put in a much harsher position than simply having hard to face a six month suspension from field work and a new mentor, even if it was him of all people.

"Personally, as far as training a Padawan goes, I already know a fair bit about you, and you've already received a lot of training before me, so at least half the work I would've had to put into a student has already been done" he smirked at her, clearly trying to make light of the situation and get Cerys to lighten up a bit.

Balun allowed a moment of quiet between them as his light-hearted nature gradually turned serious as he focused on Cerys, "Look, I get this isn't what you were hoping for. You and I were pretty much fire and water when we first met, and while I gotta admit I found your quick wit entertaining, I know you weren't exactly thrilled to see me. Hell, I think Genarius was the first time I've seen you pleased to have anything to do with me" Balun couldn't help but chuckle this time, hoping that Cerys also saw the amusement here because, despite the self-deprecating remark, there was humour in the truth of it all.

"Truth be told, I don't care how long or short this apprenticeship needs to be, as long as it works for you. From what you've told me before, you've been through a couple of mentors already, I don't want you to have to experience another change".

Former Mentor: Ala Quin
Jedi Apprentice: Cerys Dyn
Major Faction: The High Republic
Sub-Faction: Jhaessa Prime
Conglomerate: Dashiell Incorporated™
Subsidiary Company: Dashiell Retrofit™​

"Speech"
'Thought'​

 

[Cerys Dyn]

Silence fell between them as Cerys contemplated his words. She offered at minimum a prompt through the Force that she was not ignoring him, but rather dwelling on their circumstance. It should have been not as irritable as it was. After all, Balun had been the one to rescue her...to believe in her. And that in spite of herself. But there was something that gnawed at her, the forced proximity to Balun not being unpleasant was as a result the most unpleasant realisation.

Retreating from the growing comfort she felt, Cerys pulled her Force presence back from Balun and centred within herself once more. "I guess...it could be worse...you are right," she said, in almost a whisper. It wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement for her new master, but it was something. Not a full olive branch, just a twig for now.

"Let's just both agree that no matter what...you will be my final master before I am promoted myself...even if it means leaving the Order behind..."

Balun Dashiell​

 

[Balun Dashiell]

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
LOCATION: Shiraya's Sanctuary, Meditation Chamber
INVENTORY: High Republic Jedi Robes | Crossguard Lightsaber | Standard Lightsaber
TAGS: Cerys Dyn

​

"You've already tried to leave once already", Balun pointed out with a small smile, accepting her response as the feat of success that it truly was. Cerys Dyn had voiced her agreement to move forward and admitted to herself that things could be worse. This was a small step but an important one, as what she told herself would inevitably lead to the formation of new, stronger beliefs.

People had used the exercise for years, telling themselves positive affirmations in a mirror to try to train their minds to think more positively. In a sense, this was one of the challenges that had been set before Balun and Cerys, enabling her to grow more certain of herself and more comfortable around others. Learning to trust, learning to work as a team member, as a member of a collective Order.

"That resulted in me chasing you through more than a couple of battles only to find you in a prison cell", he chuckled this time, his words not meaning to sound demeaning but rather making light of the past, for there was nothing they could do to change it now. Only the future ahead of them.

"So yes, let's leave it at, I will be your final Master until you are Knighted", he concluded, shifting his arms forward as he leaned, his elbows burying his weight against his knees as he studied her thoughtfully. Clearly, they weren't finished here, but for this particular subject, he was glad they had come to a mutual agreement.

"Enough of me, though. I'd like to hear more from you. You must have thoughts and feelings about everything. Now's your chance to air them out privately. No one's going to interrupt us; the rooms have been booked for a couple of hours yet. Any questions? Concerns? Smart arsed comments? I'm still me, after all".

Former Mentor: Ala Quin
Jedi Apprentice: Cerys Dyn
Major Faction: The High Republic
Sub-Faction: Jhaessa Prime
Conglomerate: Dashiell Incorporated™
Subsidiary Company: Dashiell Retrofit™​

"Speech"
'Thought'​

 

[Cerys Dyn]

Cerys' gaze lingered somewhere just past him, as if the words she might say were written on the wall behind his shoulder and she simply hadn't decided whether to read them aloud.

"I have concerns," she admitted at last, quieter now, the edge worn down but not gone. "Mostly that you are attached to me...which seems oddly self abusive...on your account."

Her eyes flicked back to him, sharp again.

"But…I am unaccustomed with letting people care. So...I could try to be okay with it? I try, and you…try not to be insufferable."

It was not warmth. Nor was it outright humour. But it was no longer retreat.

Balun Dashiell​

 

[Balun Dashiell]

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE
LOCATION: Shiraya's Sanctuary, Meditation Chamber
INVENTORY: High Republic Jedi Robes | Crossguard Lightsaber | Standard Lightsaber
TAGS: Cerys Dyn

​

It was not quite accusatory, but the blunt manner in which Cerys Dyn dropped the truth about Balun's emotional attachment caught him entirely off guard; not because he had thought she remained aloof to his feelings -- he knew she was far more perceptive than that. It was simply that she had spoken it so suddenly and openly between them.

Naturally, Balun had been considering his new role, his emotions, and the ethical boundaries that were required of him. Sooner or later, this discussion was bound to come about between the two of them, yet so soon? He hadn't anticipated that.

"You're right...", he admitted; He would not lie to her.

"This apprenticeship is going to test us both. As far as my feelings are concerned, they will need to be set aside," he informed her, though within, he knew it would be far easier said than done; "My responsibility as your Master must come first and foremost, as will our service to the Order and the Force".

The Jedi were often taught that theirs was a path of self-sacrifice, setting aside their personal desires for the greater good of their service. The will of the Force. However, each individual Jedi chose to see it.

"When Grandmaster Quin informed us that we would be paired as Master and Apprentice, she provided me with yet another teaching moment. Whether she realised it or not. This room helped me see it," he gestured loosely toward the meditation chamber around them. "Your priority is to focus on your path forward; mine is in letting go of individual perspective and focusing on the collective need the Force requires of me".

"I may not be making much sense to you now, but...-Perhaps with time, you'll understand what I am talking about", he resigned with a slightly hefty exhale, forcing a small smile. "As a Padawan, I was focused on myself, my training, doing better. As a Knight...-It becomes about everyone else".

"I still have a lot to work through, but to give you a proper answer, my feelings won't get in the way of your training. That is my responsibility to ensure that does not happen".

Former Mentor: Ala Quin
Jedi Apprentice: Cerys Dyn
Major Faction: The High Republic
Sub-Faction: Jhaessa Prime
Conglomerate: Dashiell Incorporated™
Subsidiary Company: Dashiell Retrofit™​

"Speech"
'Thought'​