Private Like a Bat Out of Hyll

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Continued from TSE Invasion of Myrkr

Kyra came to his aid, and so did the Force. Feeling a strong pull, his body surged up and forward until he was thrust onto the ship's ramp, and then they blasted off and away from the besieged city of Hyllyard. Thirdas hadn't had time to learn why everyone suddenly got in such a hurry to evacuate, not only the city but the entire planet, but he was about to find out.

As they put distance between themselves and the cityscape, up in the sky he saw the massive chunk of rock hurtling through the atmosphere. It was only seconds from hitting the planet of Myrkr. Scrambling inside the ship as the ramp came up and their ship left the troposphere, they were able to catch a glimpse of the comet through the rear viewport before it disappeared behind the curvature of the planet. At first it looked like nothing happened.

But even from their offworld vantage point they could soon see how Myrkr began to change. Great cloud formations were suddenly, and violently, thrust aside. The terrain shifted colour. Were it not for the fact they'd just been on that planet, it might have been a fascinating experience purely from a scientific point of view. As things stood, they were appalled.

As far as Thirdas was concerned, he'd seen enough. He slumped down on the floor and rested his back against the wall, breathing heavily from exertion. His head hung low in defeat.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kyra," he uttered in his exhausted state. "I'm sorry we couldn't reach Nida. She was right there, and still we couldn't help her. I tried, you tried..."

He undid the clasps which secured his combat vest to his torso, letting it fall to the floor with all the pouches of ammunition and grenades he'd yet to spend on the enemy. He also removed the rifle strapped to his chest, lazily sliding it across the floor with his foot. Each motion was made more difficult and painful by the blaster wound to his shoulder.

"All those people..."

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra watched in horror as the asteroid passed them, fire biting at its edges as it caught up in atmosphere. She could do nothing but gasp in shock as the impact ripped through the planet, killing billions in a instant.

The empath grew cold, her legs giving out as she fell to the ground. Noiseless pain caught in her chest, her face contorted in unexpressed horror as the deaths echoed up to her.


It was unlike anything she had felt before, animalistic noises catches in her as her body tried to pull in a breath. The cries of countless reverberated through her, reaching her even as her ship lead them away. She would have liked to think that was a sign of her growth, but the reality of the horror was less flattering.

Their deaths had just been that astronomical.

She did not hear Thirdas in that moment. She did not feel the cold metal ship or grasp that her sister might very well be among the dead. Her body rocked and cradled in place, her unguarded mind lost to the utter pain that tethered her to the planet. It was mindless, senseless, and overwhelming.

She had been warned to protect herself against moments like these. But ever the foolish girl, she had not listened. Their deaths were utter torment, and for the moment, she existed inside of it.

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

She did not respond, but rather crumbled to the floor next to him looking even worse for wear than himself and his injury. She rocked back and forth like she was having a nervous breakdown, tormented by the countless lives that were just now snuffed out in an instant.

There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Nida had escaped the blast, if only because he himself could yet draw breath. His heart was still beating, which meant hers did too.

Watching Kyra try and deal with the colossal loss of life reverberating within her mind, the physical pain in his shoulder seemed naught but a flea bite.

He scooted closer to her and put his arms around her, holding her firmly but gently to keep her from rocking back and forth and instead settle against his good shoulder, and he in turn rested his head upon hers.

"It's okay, Pinky," he shushed her, hoping to overpower the dying voices in her head. "It's okay."

Only now did he allow the tears he'd been holding back to run down his cheeks.

However long it'd take, he would hold her like this until the effects of her empathic senses settled.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

There was no humanity to the pain. She contorted wildly in his arms, his frame the only thing to keep her upright as she groped senselessly at the space around her-- air, floor, flesh... none of it grounded her. Her features twisted in gruesome agony, her breath coming in strangled spirts. She clung to him, the only person left in her life that understood.

The only person that was there.

There was little solace in that as the dying voices faded from her mind, leaving just the two of them in cold depths of hyperspace. Alone. Having failed. The tears she cried had no origin. Pain was simply pain. His, hers, all of theirs. Kyra's psyche was in not place to sense if there had been the loss of her sister's life, but she mourned her all the same. Because her sister, Nida Perl, had fallen.

Truly fallen.

And that to her was as good as dead.

They had failed.

Time was meaningless. When she stirred she felt like husk, her body going through the motions of untangling limbs... bracing itself... standing... She might have looked like a robot. She felt like one in that moment. Without looking him in the eye, she offered a hand up.

A world had ended. But they still had something to do.

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

By the time she finally stopped quivering and settled in his embrace, he was all out of tears. While still shook by the traumatising events, his state of grieving for his beloved and the countless lives lost on Myrkr had turned into a dull numbness. The same appeared to be true for Kyra as she stirred in his arms and somehow found the strength to stand.

Next, she offered him a hand.

For the first time, it was she who was the stronger of the two.

His metal hand accepted, for he could no longer move his left arm without intense pain from his wounded shoulder. He used the wall for support to get back on his feet, putting his hand on her shoulder just to make sure he wasn't going to keel over.

"I have to see to my injuries," he uttered with an exhausted, hoarse voice, his throat parched from the brief but intense firefight. "You go get some rest, Kyra. I'll be alright on my own."

Hand on her shoulder, he followed her for a few steps before veering off to a nearby seat. He proceeded to unbuckle his leather jacket and painstakingly peel it off his torso, tossing it on the seat next to him.

A wide area of charred flesh just beneath his left collarbone, ugly and nasty to behold. The pain was just as bad as it looked too.

"Stupid..." he quietly berated himself for getting shot while straining to pull out the bacta-gel from his med-pack. He struggled to unscrew the cap with one functioning hand as the tube rested on his knee, and inevitably the bacta-gel slid off and fell to the floor.

He couldn't lean down to pick it up without the ailing shoulder causing immense pain. He even attempted to pull the small item towards him through the use of the Force, but mounting frustration made any such a feat impossible.

"Work, dammit...!"

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra bent down, her metal fingers fumbling to wrap around the tube. She didn't react to the number of times it took to get there, nor the amount of bacta her too tight grip sent pouring out. She handed him her attempt at help, her face blank as she stared at the nasty burn on his shoulder.

The silence that stretched from her was thick, only to be broken by a single sentence. "Nida was the healer." Kyra was not. Not for the first time she wondered where that left her. What did that make her?

A child, was often her answer. The baby. Not yet grown into her own, she'd get there.

The excuse rang stale. She sat besides him on the bench, her empty gaze trained on nothing as she kept him company. There were no tender touches, no healing hands. She was not her sister, there was no mistaking that. She kept to his side though, staring off as he applied his bacta.

What could she do here? What would the others do? The question ran through her head on repeat, no emotions behind the direction as her brain kept her moving forward. She could process from her trauma later.

Thirdas was still here. She clung onto the fact, holding out a bandage for him to follow up with.

She could start by helping him.

Thirdas Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

He watched as she picked the tube of bacta-gel off the ground and sit down beside him, still moving as if in a depressed trance. He wasn't sure at first, letting her apply the healing gel to his burnt flesh, but by now he was hurting so bad he'd let a wampa operate on him if it'd ease the pain.

She wasn't the healer Nida was. Her hands were clumsy and undisciplined, but in the end it didn't matter. She got the bacta spread over his wound, and right away it worked its magic to disinfect and neutralise the pain. It would leave a mark for sure, but it was just one amongst many of its kind, adding to the collection of battle scars.

She proceeded to help him with the bandages, and together they wrapped up his shoulder. It was an amateurish job by the two of them, but again, it got the work done. Only when she tied up the loose ends with a less-than delicate knot did he wince in pain, his hand lunging out to grab hers.

Collecting himself as the pain subsided, he looked over at Kyra. His hand did not let hers go, but rather relaxed its panicked grip.

"You're right," he then said. "You are not Nida. Nor are you Joza Perl, or Coren Starchaser. You are Kyra."

It was a lesson he'd gotten from his father growing up. Don't be your parents, or whoever others expect you to be. Be yourself. That is what we all do best.

"Stay with me," he told her, hoping to get through to her. He turned his body towards her and cupped her cheeks to make her look him in the eye.

"I cannot do this alone, Kyra. I need you, and Nida needs us. No matter how far she's fallen, without the two of us she will keep falling until she is truly lost. I know there is still good in her, and I think you do too."

Leaning forward and closing his eyes, he let his forehead rest ever so gently against hers.

"So just stay with me, okay? I haven't given up hope on her, nor you."

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra's eyes squeezed closed, a quiver of emotion rippling across her stoney expression as she leaned into his warmth. He couldn't know the methods her mentor used to reach her. He couldn't understand about the empathy or the contact or the way he used both to ground her in her training.

He couldn't understand the significance of what he had done, but she responded to his words with a shaky breath, her eyes opening back up to a wash of tears.

This was hopeless, her chest screamed. She did not give the fear life, her fingers tightening on his. "I'm right here," she whispered, as if she hadn't given him cause for concern with the writhing and the screams.

Her eyes went over his shoulder, towards the windows they had watched it all occur. Nothing but the darkness of space laid beyond them, their escape projecting them deep into Silver Space. They were going the wrong way. For the moment, she couldn't bare to turn them back around. She shivered at the thought of moving back towards the screams, her nerves raw.

How was he not scared?

He needed more than her. Just Kyra wasn't good enough.

She pulled her hand away from his, denying the burning need for a hug--denying herself the connection, the words, the support-- she had to be strong. She had to be more than a child. This was how it was done? She cleared her throat, her eyes rimmed red as she looked away from him.

"You recover, I'll plot our course to Kavado."

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

He wanted to keep her from getting up. She was in no condition to be by herself. But when she made the effort to get up and leave, he did not deny her. This was not a good time for either of them to be alone, but he would respect her wishes.

Part of him was ashamed. How many times had he told her to grow up, to stop acting like a child? It dawned on him that he was partly to blame for her insecurities that now threatened to do real harm to her. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.

Watching Kyra disappear into the cockpit, he glanced down at the tightly-wrapped bandages applied to his shoulder. She'd done a better job than she gave herself credit. It still hurt, but the bacta would sort that out within the next few hours.

Kyra's pet cat Popsicles appeared, sitting down by his feet with big eyes looking up at him. Thirdas patted his own knee, prompting the feline to leap into his lap, purring happily as it settled. He indulged the kitty for a while, but then looked towards the cockpit.

"I'm not the one you should comfort, Poppy."

Picking the cat up and resting it against his chest, he stood and walked over to the door of the cockpit. Quietly the door slid open, but he did not enter. He crouched down and placed the feline down facing Kyra too busy plotting a course to notice.

And then Thirdas just turned and left, giving the two some privacy. He went to his quarters and collapsed into his bed, exhausted.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Hours later​

Thirdas' bunk door slid open, as quite as the cockpit. A wash of light fell over his bed, its presence wavering as a form trembled in the doorway. Kyra hesitated there, cries silenced in her chest as she tried to banish them. She tried to banish a lot of things. The voices, the guilt, the grief. None of it would go away, the girl's very sanity tested by the cries of death she could not forgot.

It was improper, coming to him like this. It was childish. She should leave. It wasn't right-- sister's boy friend, arch enemy, a boy. She categorized him in any way but what he now was, unable to see the support she had in her companion, but desiring it now all the same.


She stared at the space besides him in utter confliction, the empath, the girl, and the zeltron needing safe company above all else. Kyra wasn't built to be alone. Her pain caught in her throat, a step into the room taken before she froze. Because of course the solider would have awoken to an intruder in his room. Of course he would then kick her out.

She waivered there, eyes wide and fearful as she braced for his response.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

It was only thanks to sheer exhaustion that he was able to fall asleep as quickly as he did this particular night. And yet, it didn't keep the dreams away for long. He saw his beloved standing there, at first as beautiful and pure as he'd always seen her. But with each step towards her, the darkness crept closer, choking them both with its infinite void. And just as he was close enough to touch her, she screamed and burst into flames before his very eyes, her skin peeling off her bones until only ashes remained.

It was this horrifying vision coupled with the slightest misstep on Kyra's part that made him lash out from his slumber, pulling a knife from his boot he'd not yet bothered taking off. Thirdas watched her figure in the dark like a wounded animal, chest heaving and sweaty from the intense nightmare.

Upon realising who it was standing in his doorway, he lowered the knife and dropped it to the floor with a loud clang.

"K-kyra? What's wrong?"

She'd never come into his room before, especially not at night, which had him thinking some catastrophe had occurred. Another one.

But that wasn't so. He could tell from the way she just stood there, unable to even voice her request. There could be but one reason for her strange visit, one that they both shared this night aboard the Sting Ray.

"Can't sleep either, huh?"

There was admittedly a slight hesitation on his part. His actions could very easily be misinterpreted as something more than simply scooting to the side to offer the teenager a place to rest beside him. But they had not endured what these two lost souls had this day. How could they possibly understand their need for company this particular night?

"It's alright, Pinky," he gently beckoned her from where he lay. "I can sleep facing the other way."

While she stood there making up her mind, he made sure to take off his boots while still awake. As well as remove any other sharp objects he still carried on his person.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra wrung out her hands, staring at him for a moment longer. The confliction broke, her own shoes kicked off seamlessly as she approached. Her arms quaked as she slid up against him, a wash of tears breaking down her face. The more she tried to will them away, the harder they fell. There was no reprieve from their loss.

Her back smushed up against his, cold and damp as she curled up in the space he gave her.

Beyond them, the bedroom door hiss closed, surrounding them in the darkness of his room. It was a thing that should have bothered her, but the awkwardness of the moment paled to the troubles they faced. After a moment she turned, her elbows in his back.

"...Thirdas?" She asked, her voice tight.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

There was an awkward silence as Kyra lay down beside him, back pressed up against his on the one-man bed. There wasn't much room to maneuver, and in the case of another nightmare he wasn't sure he could spare her if he was thrust from his uneasy slumber a second time.

Staring into the wall mere inches from his face, he could feel her fidgeting and change position. Her sharp elbow poked him in the back, and for a moment he thought she was just trying to be annoying.

But then came her mention of his name, tiny and squeaky like a child's plea.

"Hmm?"

He glanced over his shoulder, and by now he figured her poking him earlier was simply to get his attention. He could see the tears running freely down her cheeks, and this prompted him to roll in place in order to face her, his inches away from hers as they shared the one pillow.

"Yeah?"

A soft whisper as he ran his large thumb across her cheeks to wipe away some of the tears.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra squeezed her eyes closed, unconvinced that despite the darkness and lack of familiarity, he still wouldn't read her like a book. Kyra bled her emotions into the force, and for her, his emotions bled back. Fear rippled out, pure and unresolved. It wasn't for them, they were more than safe in the ship built by her father, moving them deeper into Jedi space.

NIda, however...

Snot caught on the tip of her nose, only to be snuffed back in. She had something she needed to tell him, a secret to confess. It caught in her throat. Maybe if she didn't say it, it wouldn't be so.

She started simple.

"How much do you know about Jedi?"

Thurion Heavenshield

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

His brows furrowed at the question she posed, trying to wrap his weary brain around what she'd just asked him like it was some other language. Like, did she want a history lesson, or...?

He supposed not.

"Erm... I dunno. My dad's a Jedi, my mom's a Jedi. My brother and sister grew up as Jedi before I was born. I've been around them all my life, but... I guess I've never given it that much thought. I already knew as a small boy it wasn't for me."

Propping himself up on his elbow, he attempted to muster up a better answer. The lessons of his father came to mind.

"There is no emotion, there is peace; there is no ignorance, there is knowledge; there is no passion, there is serenity; there is no chaos, there is harmony; there is no death... there is the Force."

His dark eyes found her blues.

"Why?"

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

"Our energy..." she started slowly, never one to be the imparter of knowledge. She picked for her words, wondering how to make sense a complicated thing like her experience make sense to Thirdas.

"Says a lot about us. Our moods, our intention. Which side of the force we fall on." She swallowed hard, thought flickering to Nida and that moment on the battle field. A pinch of pain hit her at the reminder that that city and everyone in it were dead. She looked away, eyes trained on his chest.

"Nida's was dark," she leaved, her tone void of emotion. "I thought at first they were manipulating her. Blackmailing, or scaring-- they'll do anything really, to tear us away." She paused, goose bumps appearing over her skin as the sensation of Nida crawling through her mind echoed back to her.

"But that wasn't it. It was a choice. She-" Emotion caught in her throat, a wave of grief racking her as she faced the truth of the betrayal. No more words came, her shoulders shaking as the sobs ripped back through her.

She had tried to turn Kyra. And the scary part was? It had nearly worked.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

More words came out of Kyra than he'd expected. Considering how emotionally wrecked she'd become since they escaped Myrkr, she showed remarkable strength to even strike a conversation with him, flimsy though it may be it would turn out.

"I know," he wrapped his arms around her as she began to sob. He held her to his chest, doing his best to comfort her.

"A part of me also wanted to go to her. Leave everything behind and just go be with her again. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. Maybe it's the Heavenshield in me."

That damn stubborn sense of duty.

"Close your eyes now, Pinky. It's alright. I'm still here. I'll keep you safe."

Both of them were exhausted, neither having gotten any rest since before Myrkr. Tentatively, Thirdas started to hum and gentle tune. One his father would use to put him to sleep on many restless nights growing up.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

No he didn't get it. He didn't get it.

He wasn't safe.

They weren't safe.

The words were lost to the delusion of the pain. Unreasonable hours without sleep. Betrayal. The death of billions. What capacity she had regained to explain herself was lost to the sob unleashed against his chest. He rocked her. She cried.

If they were attacked by sith then and there she would not be capable of handling them. That was not okay. There was a weak kink to their whole plan, and come morning... she would make them train.

It was unclear where the nightmares of the day blended into nightmare of sleep, but she did sleep. When she opened her eyes again to the artificial light warming the cabin, stimulating the rising sun, she felt hallow.

Still.

Like she had bled all her emotions out into the ether, and now she just ran dry. Her thoughts flickered to the loss of yesterday, but the pain did not reach out to touch her. Grounded was the word for how she felt.

Inside Thirdas' arms, she felt centered.

She tried not to think about the fact that maybe that was why her sister liked him. You know if Nida had a problem with them finding support in one and other, maybe she shouldn't have turned sith!

She cleared her throat and slowly unpeeled from the entangled hug, saying one awkward set of words.

"Mornin'."

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

It had been one of his better nights in recent memory, having spent it alongside someone just as broken as he. Someone who had need of him the same way she used to. Someone he could protect, as was inherently in his nature.

To him it seemed that the artificial morning had come too soon, that they'd gotten only a few moments of good sleep, precious though they might've been. And yet he felt rested for once.

Thirdas would only stir from his peaceful slumber when Kyra unentangled herself from him. For one who was used to being always at the alert from years of military training and accustomed to the uncertainty of war, he should feel ashamed for having taken so long to wake.

"Mornin'," he replied hoarsely, having to clear his throat.

Gently he unwrapped his arms, giving her freedom of movement. Thirdas sat up in bed, rubbing his weary eyes.

"I'm sorry if I held too tight," he then offered, hoping she'd not been uncomfortable during the course of the night.

"I just... It felt nice, holding onto someone..."

While true, he had no idea why he'd felt the need to say the words aloud.

"I'll, uh... go put on some caf."

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra let him walk away without another word. It didn't take an empath to feel the awkward in the air. But it did allow her to feel its complex origin and bare no shame. Humans were finicky like that, she guessed.

It wasn't like they fecked.

She left him to brew the cafe, returning to own quarters to wash up and change. By the time she made it back into the common room, she felt more like herself. She looked it, too.

She did not allow herself to think backwards, instead she grabbed a cafe and thought forward.

"You ever meditate before?"