Bad Kitty

RHEN VAR
Ancient Jedi Ruins
The young boy stood in what must have been an impressive citadel.
The roof was gone. The upper floors destroyed in the cataclysmic events that had transformed Rhen Var from a more temperate climate into a frozen wasteland. Icicles hung from banisters, the arches, and the ceilings. Snow and ice laid the funeral pall over the exposed art work and room through which the Jedi of yesterday once wandered in quiet pursuit of solace and harmony.
He envied them that peace of the grave. He wished he could have understood how the Jedi saw saw the Force. How they saw life. Mercy. Forgiveness.
These were things he'd only begun to experience for himself. A basic humanity that was worlds apart from anything he'd experienced under the tutelage of the Sith. Where did one begin to un-do the mistakes of the past? Or leave behind the lessons of yesterday?
He didn't have the answers. He hadn't gone to the Silver Jedi seeking redemption, merely to see their sons and daughters returned safely to them. And not as some act of remorse, more one of rebellion. Rebellion against the Sith Lords who had dictated life and death to him. Or the Primeval warlords who twisted a beautiful religion which celebrated life into a dogma of hatred and death.
So what did that make him?
He knew the Force as a Sith knew it. He came to the Force seeking power. He came to the Force through fear. An outlet for anger. For strength to endure. To persevere. To stand when food was denied him and starvation robbed him of his strength.
He saw in the Force the work of the primordial god Sargon. It's many permutations were the evidence of Balagoth and Nogras, made manifest not through midi-chlorians but the works of Halrormalenth. He believed in that which was Primeval.
But he rejected power for power's sake. He wanted to use that power not to elevate himself, but to raise up those around him. He rejected the hate and genocide of the Primeval warlords. Their campaigns against the Mirialans were an affront to the very gods they gave lip-service to.
He looked at the Jedi and saw in them everything he could want for himself, but theirs was a pedestal out of his reach. The tranquility. The peace. Everytime he closed his eyes, he returned to Coruscant. To the ghetto. To the shanty towns hastily erected on the shores next to rivers of sewage.
Or Wayland. Watching hundreds of men lay down lives that were no longer their own. Pressed into servitude and sent out on the widowing field not as free men but slaves to those who claimed to be messengers. Deliverers.
So many blurred lines. How was he to be defined? A Sith, not Sith? Primeval, but not Primeval? Could such a forsaken soul, as miserable or insignificant as his, ever be anything Jedi?
The boy reached down, pulling from his belt a piece of durasteel wrapped in leather. For the last year, it had served him in the life of an assassin. An executioner. Someone who followed blindly and did whatever those in power had told him to do. Never questioning. Never asking. Never doubting.
But there were questions. And, yet, had he waited too long to ask them? Were his hands so steeped in blood that the only reality in store for him was the fact that he would never see heaven? Kneeling down in the center of what must have been a large room-- perhaps a place of learning -- the boy bowed his head and quietly prayed to the Starmaker for guidance.
[member="Basaba Willamina"] | [member="Elizabeth Verdan"]