Legion Forgeworks

[Tanith Alde]

Corporation Name: SPQI Legionaire Forge Works


[SIZE=10.5pt]Headquarters: Spear of Reim (Flagship of SPQI)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Locations:[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt] HQ (Spear of Reim)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Operations[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: Primarily Weapons and Armor, or anything small that can be made in a forge[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Rationale[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: Appointed to the head of the Forge Works by our glorious Imperator. The reason for it's nomadic lifestyle is the lack of actual territory under SPQI Control, leaving them somewhat short handed and under supplied, this has been made up with proper forges incorporated into the Spear of Reim's cargohold, allowing the Forge Works to operate out of anywhere[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Tier[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: 1[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10.5pt]​[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10.5pt]Description[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: The Legion Forge Works are the natural response to the SPQI's question of: I have men, now how shall I gird them for battle. An Internal company to service only those in the SPQI The Forge Works haven't reached galaxy wide fame. They do however provide the Legions with the sturdy weapons and armor meant to keep them alive in battle. The Forge Works manufacture everything, Armor for the most basic legionaire, to the Elite combat armor worn by the Praetorian guard. From the gladius to the hallowed Hellfire-Scorpion (Think Futuristic Scorpion Ballista), the Legionaire Forge Works will get it done. The Forge Works themselves see to it the production of small arms and armor for the men of the legion, they are not commercially avaidable and cater only to those within the SPQI[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10.5pt]Subsidiaries[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: None[/SIZE]

 

[Ellie Mors]

<p>RESEARCH REVIEW<br /> <br />Star Wars Canon:<br />Pending initial review<br /> <br />Starwars Chaos: <br />Pending initial review<br /> <br />WITHOUT DEV THREADS<br />Pending initial review<br /><br />WITH DEV THREADS<br />Pending Initial review<br /><br />SUGGESTIONS<br />Pending Inital review</p>

 

[Ellie Mors]

[member="Marius Severus"]
Okay, so, as a tier 1, this company should be (financially, geographically, etc) tiny. What you have right now is "every" operation implied, and "variable" locations and headquarters. This isn't going to work.

• You need a headquarters (which can be a ship) and a location (which can be that HQ).
• You need operations to be directly listed, and as a tier 1 you should only have one or two at most (there are certain situations where you could have more, such as two operations that are nearly identical).
• The rationale for this should be a paragraph of detail, and explain how/why the company came to be (maybe when, too).
• Ditto with the description, which should also explain what the company actually does.

 

[Tanith Alde]

[member="Bianca"]

How is this?

 

[Ellie Mors]

Locations: Nomadic

As noted before, you cannot list nomadic as a location. Just list your HQ as the location.

 

[Tanith Alde]

[member="Bianca"]

Fixed to your specification maam

 

[Ellie Mors]

Awesome. Pending Admin Approval. Thanks! [member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Cira]

<p>Approved.</p>