Leaving Common Isolation

[Kay-Larr]

Kay dug her toes into the sand. People might find it weird, but touching the ground in such a way made her feel more...connected; in very much the same way that others do when working the land and tending to a garden.

She smirked as [member="Connor Harrison"] remarked on his age. It wasn't as though she was getting any younger, herself. His offer was a good one though. "That'd be nice, thank you. Whenever you aren't busy, that is." He had work elsewhere, so she couldn't take up all of his time.

"Time off? You aren't the first to suggest it. Maybe after the trial I will. And as for delegation, I try. Though my Ministers aren't always around for me. I don't control their lives as I don't own them. They just merely work for me." Her eyes centered on the ocean and the waves. The sounds and the smells was calming in it's own way.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor watched the Queen connect with the sand, the smell and sights of the ocean before her. He simply stood and took everything in.

"You’re performing an important part right now; meditation and self-centring. Isolating the distractions of the outside world to focus on the natural connection between yourself and the Force. It’s a good way to regain focus and calm yourself."

He took in the peace of the beach. While the salty air wasn’t exactly something he relished, then the coastal breeze blew over, it was refreshing and good at clearing his head. You could always find beauty in any place if you looked hard enough and forget the darker moments of the galaxy.

"Take the time and sort out your cabinet or support staff. They are there for a reason. Use them. Don’t give them an easy ride and avoid shouldering their responsibility."

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Well at least no one was in earshot besides her guards as [member="Connor Harrison"] began talking about her centering herself. In truth she was just acting on instinct; a real need that felt just as strong as her addiction to tea. It just made her feel better to reconnect in such a way. "It's too open to out here to meditate or anything of the sort. There's too many eyes and ears. I prefer seclusion for that. There's less distraction."

She let out a little huff as he advised her to not shoulder the responsibilities of her Ministers. Easier said than done. Already she had to look into replacing a couple of them and that wasn't an easy thing to do. One position in particular seemed to be forever jinxed and she just couldn't understand why that was. It wasn't as though it was one that they could do without. "I will...try. Although if they aren't around when they are needed, I'll have to step up. I can't let deals or negotiations go unresolved." And some governments prefered to only speak with her. Being the head of a government was no easy task.

 

[Connor Harrison]

This was a woman who managed to see the danger to most things. Connor thought he was bad, but it seemed a life lived in the eyes of others made one more sceptical than even those touching the codes of Jedi or Sith.

"It’s not too open. Not at all. All you do is sit, focus and centre yourself and your emotions. You don’t need to swell the seas or bend the environment, just use the energy around you to clear your head and focus your thoughts." He tapped his chest. "All you need is locked away in there."

At her words, he gave a little shake of his head.

"And no. There is no try. You either do, or you do not. That’s it. If you’re not here or think you need someone to step in, I will do that. I’m no politician, but I’m not intimidated by anyone or anything anymore. When you survive all I have, you soon see the flesh and blood that makes us all the same and nobody can try make you feel beneath them."

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay wasn't so sure. She didn't want to open herself up fully. That would reveal her sensitivity way out there in the open and she didn't want to risk that. There was too much at stake. So she kept a lid on it and just let herself partly relax.

She smirked as [member="Connor Harrison"] began quoting Jedi Master Yoda. Was he really doing that with her? It was kind of funny, but perhaps it wasn't the right moment to laugh.

There seemed to be a few people that began to put her in her place. Although she was taking in a lot of tasks, she was being told when she couldn't or shouldn't do something either. It was frustrating."Thank you for the offer. I'll keep it in mind when my stubborness allows it."

Kay looked over her shoulder to the city behind her, then at her dress. "I sure have come a long way from being a slave liberator..." That was how they first met. During one of her raids on the Hutt Cartel slave fortress.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor lolled his head back a little and laughed in recollection. The slave liberators. Lots of explosions and ships and sand from what his memory brought up.

"Hah, oh yes! Goodness, and then on Bespin with the First Order...?"

He rubbed his chin and looked out to sea.

"Funny. Back then, I hardly knew you, didn't really trust you, but our paths kept crossing for some reason. Even when you took position here, we still were pushed together under, well, not the greatest of circumstances." The slave liberation was a blast, though. "That raid on the Hutts was in a time when I felt alive. I relished the challenges, the danger, the thrill of having purpose."

Truth be told, he missed it. He missed belonging.

"If you could do anything bar be a Queen, if tomorrow you could do anything and have no repercussions, what would you do. Who would you want to be?"

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

She smiled a little as she managed to change the subject. Phew! And at least [member="Connor Harrison"] seemed to enjoy the change. It seemed as though he had as much fun with rescuing slaves as she did. Though she wasn't sure if he got into the same kind of trouble that she did.

His last questions gave her pause. What would she be doing if she wasn't a Queen? There were no limits, apparently no repercussions either. Hmmm....Her ideal vacation was being at her cottage on Bakura delving into her mystery novels with a cup of tea. But others considered that boring and it wasn't quite what Connor was asking anyways.

"Well...If I wasn't Queen or a leader in any way, I'd probably be rescuing slaves again. I was so good at it. Every operation was different so that they couldn't catch onto my plans. I always had different people working for me, even ambushed the slavers themselves. All of my money went into it and the slaves were always taken care of afterwards. Many of them live and work in CSA space now."

 

[Connor Harrison]

As Kay talked, Connor leant over and picked up some pebbles, a comfortable handful. He jiggled them around his palm and started to throw them into the ocean; with a little enhancement to cover the distance. The splash was small, but he made them all hit.

"The Confederacy seem eager to help those like you did, give them purpose and fresh chances. Jobs, a place to live, education. It's pretty nice. Nice to see something come of it."

He threw another pebble.

"I don't think I'd stray too far from what I'm doing now, but without all that...Light and Dark nonsense. Look where that got me."

With a slow roll of the tongue across his teeth, Connor rubbed his fingers across the last two pebbles. He increased the pressure all of a sudden and the two cracked and split open into dust and shell. He didn't know if what he felt was weakness, or the hint of redemption pecking at his mind.

"I miss what I had before....this happened. I miss the company. The respect. The purpose. Sometimes I don't know if what I am now is payment for all the stupid things I did."

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"Well at least there's someone to pick up where I left off. Though I hear that slavery is still strong in certain sectors." At least she was never put into slavery herself. That would have been hell.

She furrowed her brows as she watched [member="Connor Harrison"] destroy the pebbles, turning them into nothing but dust and sand. "Before what happened? Everyone makes mistakes, and some of them are grave ones. But we have to learn from them and move on. It doesn't do us any good to dwell on them all the time. You get stuck that way, stuck in a very bad place." Did she regret some of what she had done? Of course. But there was nothing that she could do about it except to make ammends.

 

[Connor Harrison]

The past always had a way of haunting Connor.

From his failings as a Jedi, to his failings as a Ren, to his failing as a decent human being.

The past brought pain and he had a canvas of wounds and marks and scars to paint a picture.

But, he was here. He was surviving. He was building bridges.

"I am moving on, and I have learnt harsh lessons. I think it's only when I look back with a clear head I see the error of my ways and what I lost. I lost...so much."

The grit and dust blew from his hands as he wiped them together, the whir of his cybernetic hand a quiet reminder. He took a seat beside the Queen and rested his arms on his knees, inhaled and took in the view.

"For how I treated you back then, you have my apologies."

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"Hind sight is twenty-twenty. That's what they always say, isn't it? It's much easier to pick out our mistakes long after we make them than before. I guess that's why I surround myself with so many different points of view. It lessons the chance of me making grave mistakes. I guess it's part of what has allowed my government to thrive for so long." At least she liked to think so.

Kay placed her hand on his shoulder after [member="Connor Harrison"] apologized. "Thank you. You have my forgiveness as I can tell that you're different." She laughed a little as she removed her hand. "You're not in my face so much. You're being respectful instead of intimdating. It's nice. It'll get you further in life." Well, that was her experience anways.

And even though she may see the difference between this Connor and the last, her husband surely won't.

 

[Connor Harrison]

The first bridge had been built, and crossed. A small weight lifted from his shoulders as Kay instigated a peaceful touch, not done in a way to push him back or cause pain.

"It's rather ridiculous some people try to be intimidating and intrusive for all the wrong reasons. You can get so much more done and gain much more foothold by NOT being those things."

The crashing of the water far ahead almost helped wash away his insecurities.

"Thank you, your Highness. It seems the first objective I set out to do here is complete. The second, well that is why I stay around - to help you find your way for the good of the system and yourself."

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"Yes, exactly! Why else do you think that I tend to insist on talking over tea and negotiations? It puts everyone on a better footing. It allows people to drop their defences. Plus it helps to keep war at bay." That was her line of thinking anyways. It didn't always work though.

Kay raised a brow slightly as [member="Connor Harrison"] stated that one of his objectives was to help out her government. "I wouldn't of thought that my little government was that important. The superpowers don't think so. I have no voice with them. I've witnessed that enough during meetings where more than one of them had attended. But...I suppose that has been a blessing. It's let them war eachother instead of painting us as a target."

Not getting involved in the Galaxy's wars had a part to play in that too. They just kept the trade routes safe and open.

 

[Connor Harrison]

"Well, yes, I understand that, and I suppose I'm not saying I'm here to change everything or suddenly become all important. I'm not. Far from it. I think I just want to try and help those who I believe have more to give, and who hold more importance than they may see."

He linked his hands and looked ahead.

"I'm trying to look into Commenor as the outsider I am. Seeing the strengths and weaknesses of everything, even you." He didn't hesitate. "And there is so much resting on Commenor's shoulders you may not see just yet, but it holds such an important piece to the galactic puzzle that I'd hate to see the pieces shifted. And I'll say this again, your strength radiates more than ever, but it's shourded under your own desire to please everyone else."

He didn't look at her. Connor wasn't trying to make a point - he was just saying it how it was.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay looked down to her feet, watching the sand roll off them as she moved her toes slowly through it. Pleasing everyone. That was her job, wasn't it? To keep the peace and be sure that everyone prospered. It has worked and it should keep working.

So why did it seem to stop now?

She looked to [member="Connor Harrison"] as he just stared straight ahead. Was he holding something back in some way? Possibly. But then again that could just be the mindset that she was currently in. "I'm doing the best that I can. I'm not trying to...to block myself. But I'll work through it, I always do." Yet it felt as though everything was slipping from her fingers. Maybe she just needed to assert herself more.

She wasn't just a figurehead.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor let his head sag a little.

"I know you are. I do. I know you're trying."

He sighed a little. He had to divert the pressure. It wasn't on his head or his conscious to see that Commenor maintained it's strength in the Mid-Rim and Core worlds, but he partly knew it was guilt over his actions in the past. The last thing he could do now was stick his nose in and meddle. He hated meddlers.

"Here's something to think about. Where do you recommend I can go for some me time. Anywhere, somewhere, just to rest and relax for 24 hours at least. I want to focus and relax. I feel I haven't stopped the transition to where I am now."

He looked at her and chuckled, shrugging.

"You don't want me banging on to you about how to rule your affairs of state and heart. But maybe you could help me sort out my own? I feel like this is a new world I'm stepping back into. Need to freshen up before I do!"

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay sat up a little straighter while she began to rid her feet of the sand, dusting them off. [member="Connor Harrison"] had changed the subject to something that signalled to her that it was about time to head back.

She pondered on his question, mulling over all of the different spots for him to unwind. "Well, that all depends on what you like. I prefer a cabin in the woods, filled with nothing but peace and quiet." Much like her hidden Estate. But the place was too empty and quiet for her, merely a reminder of what she had. "Or you could stay at a hotel here by the beach and let the sounds of the waves relax you. Or there's plenty of hotels in the city if you like more noise. Or...Valley of the Storm if thunder and lightning helps you relax. The flowers there are beautiful and they change colours with the humidity. It's stunning to watch." Commenor had many different places to go. It was just difficult in finding the right one that would suit his needs.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor offered a hand to help the Queen up as she dusted off the sand and gave him a few locations. Each one appealed to a different side of the man.

"Valley of the Storm? Now call me bleak but that sounds fascinating – nature at its finest. I used to waste hours it felt on Voss watching the world when it rained, and you saw the clouds forming and thunder brewing in the distance like some ancient God preparing for war."

He smiled to himself, remembering the times he had peered out of his window in the lashing rain just to get a glimpse of lightning cracking in the mountains.

"I just want a day or two to feel human again, if that makes sense. I don’t think I remember that feeling, which is sad. At one point I was sure removing your humanity made you stronger, now it just makes you weaker."

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay put on her stockings and boots before taking [member="Connor Harrison"] 's hand and standing up. She took in a deep breath and let it out, getting rid of some of the heaviness that she felt and dispersing it into the sand. Or at least that was what she envisioned, and it did make her feel a bit lighter.

"It's a bit of a journey, but not too long. There are no cabins there as most use tents, however there's a rock outcropping that offers shelter. I can gather some supplies for you."

Kay knew full well of what it was like to be seperated from humanity. The Sith did that to her after months of torture. And it took many months to get it all back. But she managed and was always worried about the chance of a relapse.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay put on her stockings and boots before taking [member="Connor Harrison"] 's hand and standing up. She took in a deep breath and let it out, getting rid of some of the heaviness that she felt and dispersing it into the sand. Or at least that was what she envisioned, and it did make her feel a bit lighter.

"It's a bit of a journey, but not too long. There are no cabins there as most use tents, however there's a rock outcropping that offers shelter. I can gather some supplies for you."

Kay knew full well of what it was like to be seperated from humanity. The Sith did that to her after months of torture. And it took many months to get it all back. But she managed and was always worried about the chance of a relapse.