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Kottos Pulsar Hyperplex

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Nyxie

【夢狐】
Writer
Corporation Name: Kottos Pulsar Hyperplex Inc.
Headquarters: City of Godspell, Ansion
Locations:
Crest of the World - Godspell, Ansion - Under Construction
Royal Theatre of Ri'ess - Exodus Prime, Sikune - In Planning
Springbreeze Theatre - Sakura - In Planning
Operations: The construction, management and booking of really big theatres for concerts, operas and such; primarily for the planned city on Ansion.
Rationale: Via Descrip.
Tier: III

Description: Kottos Pulsar Hyperplex is the brainchild of the infamously luscious Ayña Kottos. It is heavily funded and supported by the government, namely the direct support of the Mnenchei Dominion whom owns its host planet, and is solely owned by Aynea herself. KPH deals almost exclusively in the construction, management and booking of colossal theaters the likes of which few places in the galaxy have ever seen before. Because of the grand scope of the project and its intentions, its revenue is heavily dependent on the success of each construct and its business, as well as heavy initial government funding.

The entire project began as the humble idea of an aspiring foxtress Aynea. Due to turbulent times in her adolescent life, her dreams turned to becoming a rock star and her goal became to see her way to its fruition. One day, she decided on a whim to create a company with the sole objective of building a small stage worthy of her presence. With the initial investment of a mere million credits, KPH - as she would name it, paying homage to her family line (but mostly feeding her own ego) - rooted itself in some of the most humble beginnings possible for a company of such exponential growth. The young entrepreneur had spent a significant sum of the company's money on custom-made studio and recording equipment. She decided to take singing lessons as she scrambled to figure out just what, exactly, she had even been trying to achieve. Tooth and nail, quite literally, breaking back she worked hard to construct her very own facility on the peaceful and relatively remote planet of Ansion, where she would sing and dance and play in peace and solitude, awaiting the day she could ever put it to good use. Her aspirations quickly turned severalfold as officials on Ansion took notice of her goals. They were passed to the monarchy and subsequently, officials from RRDI had conferred and decided to approve her ideas for inclusion into one of the largest goals the planet would see, spanning across three different corporations and forecasting an entire corporate city-state. The project was unprecedented at first. However, with the careful planing of dozens of RRDI's top tier engineers and metalworkers, a draft was drawn up that could incorporate all of their objectives and ideas into a fluid and stable system. KPH received massive grants in the forms of hundreds of millions over time. In return, the governing body of Ansion requested one thing; absolute dedication to the completion of a colossal theater within this new city-to-be. It was figured to, when completed, draw millions upon millions of guests to the city they had planned, bringing in tens of billions of credits each year and stabilizing the emerging economy that would arise with the city. Aynea was caught in the corporate web; but it was not all for a snare. Where her attention span fell short, her immense creativity thrived. Soon, with the help of the RRDI engineers and the corporate tier hirelings she could afford, a construct of untold proportions was finally in the works. All that remained was for a large company - one like Titan - to fill an agreement for such a vast project, for the small city of skyscrapers, docks, plants and abundant wealth to be built. The city-state project was codenamed Godspell; the theater was deemed by Aynea herself to be called the Crest of the World upon completion, and would turn out to be her precious child for decades to come.

(Made it a T3 because, well, colossal theater and epic backstage funding. But I guess I can live with starting T2 if necessary. T3 just made more sense to me. The beauty of it all is I probably won't ever remember writing this in the morning!)
 

Darth Adekos

Derisive Umbaran
Character
@[member="Ayña Kottos"]

Break this up into paragraphs next time, please.

Anyways, here's my nitpicks.
  • Companies do not get created on a whim. It's a whole ordeal on its own and generally involves a whole lot of paperwork. If your character has a short attention span, they would probably not be able to create a company, much less run one.
  • Companies are started with the objective of profit in mind. Financing a special stage for your character and your character only in a remote area is not very profitable.
  • With the above stated, I find it highly unlikely your character would secure a million Credit investment.
  • Your company must start at Tier II like all other incoming companies. The part about "exponential growth" is not going to fly.
  • "she scrambled to figure out just what, exactly, she had even been trying to achieve." If your character didn't know what they were trying to achieve by that point, chances are they would not net a million Credits worth of investments.
  • Again, I'm reading that your company was not only started for rather pedantic reasons, but is apparently spending money on things that would not bring any returns.
  • You're telling me that the planetary authority on Ansion noted that a crazed foreigner that somehow duped a bunch of investors into parting with a million Credits (which would make her liable for a lawsuit, given her spending of the money), and decided that they wanted in on it as well? I'm not feeling it here.
  • Then you state that your company was granted hundreds of millions. Why? From who? This company does not seem to be something that would help an economy in the way you're describing or very profitable for that matter.
  • Finally, this suddenly jumped from the construction of a theatre to an entire "small" city. I don't understand where this comes from.
The description needs to be a description of how your company works. This entire thing was essentially your rationale. Regardless, it doesn't fly in any case. Edits are going to have to be made.
 

Nyxie

【夢狐】
Writer
@[member="Gerion Ardik"]
I'm gonna give you the short version.
  • Not too much, unless SW is different. I didn't say she was retarded.
  • It wasn't just for her, but it was hers as in ownership.
  • It was her money from her life savings as an underground idol of sorts.
  • It says we can start T3 with a lengthy description; granted, this one was hardly the longest but I am willing to double or triple it.
  • Again, it was her initial investment.
  • Pedantic? It was elevated to build a huge structural theatre capable of catering to tens of thousands. I believe that generates more than its weight in returns once completed.
  • The Mnenchei Dominion is its primary investor.
  • I AM the planetary authority on Ansion, lol. xD And again, the million was her money and it was before they picked her up for the project.
  • From the planetary government owned and operated by the Mnenchei Dominion. lol. Because I can and it helps me make my city-to-be interesting. Once again, how does building a huge theatre in the middle of a corporate city project not boost the economy?! xD
  • It's a Major Faction+Collaborative Corporations project I, on my other character, had been planning for on Ansion. So needless to say, resources are not lacking for this project.

I'll summarize. Aynea is a tool ICly, intended to deal with the odds and ends in lieu of the project originators. I have a project I am working on with my High Queen character to expand my faction's economy and generate interest in its locales and itself. Aynea, my other character, I had always wanted to become a rock star or a performer or something and own her own small chain. Then I realized I could combine her goals and the Dominion's for mutual benefit. The project, though I will not discuss much about it here since such details do not pertain to the purpose of this submission, was to build a small city of factories and skyscrapers, like Manhattan or Opportunity. Find three or four companies willing to take part in such a project for mutual benefit. Then, jumpstart the economy with points of interest. One company was the one the Queen founded before she was the true Queen - Ri'ess Regal Drives. The second, I had hoped, could be Titan should Tef show interest in a land agreement. The third was a vacant spot, so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to throw in Aynea's.

TLDR; Because my other character is rich, has a mutually beneficial agenda, and owns Ansion and its government.

Lol, I said I would give you the short version and gave you a whole fleshed out list. x.x
(I really have no idea why I thought this was a good idea, lol)
 

Nyxie

【夢狐】
Writer
If that still doesn't clarify things up, just scrap it/archive. It was admittedly kind of sloppy and I have better ways of approaching the project. Sorry.
 
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