Karking Cold

[Alric Kuhn]

Outer Rim-Vanir Technologies Outpost
Chris The Security Officer

Chris wasn't a very good mechanic.

Though he had some basic training back in the Stormtrooper Legions of the One Sith, they'd never really covered any of the advanced stuff. There just hadn't been much call for it. Usually when something broke they would just call in the engineers and those little muffins would fix it. Here though? No such luck. When something broke you had to fix it, there were no engineers at this remote outpost, no mechanics that could fix everything he wanted in an instant.

It was a shame really, given that he was such a terrible mechanic.

Still, Chris couldn't really complain.

After the One Sith had fallen there had been a massive flux of former Stromtroopers that had been sort of...well hopeless. Thousands of them had flooded out of the core seeking jobs as mercenaries, pirates, even smugglers. Mason had chosen to become the latter, Trent had joined up with some mercenary outfit in the mid-rim, and Louise had nicely enough opened up a shelter for lost animals on Cato Neimoidia.

Chris? Well he'd taken a Job with Vanir Technologies.

The company was a pretty good one, the pay was decent, though the location they'd sent him to was absolutely poodoo. It was some outer rim world filled with ice and sand, pretty much just a tundra that for some reason marked the perfect spot for a communications outpost. He and Jerry were the only two people here, Jerry being the Comm-officer and he being here for 'security'. Of course security just meant...do whatever needs to get done.

Currently that meant repair the antenna array on top of the outpost, it seemed that the snowstorm last night had knocked the damn thing over and he needed to cut the base in order to actually get it remounted. An unfortunate fact, made even more unfortunate because their Plasma Cutter didn't work at the moment. "Jerry."

Chris' annoyed voice carried over the comms.

"Plasma Cutter broke." He kicked the stupid thing. "Do we have anything else? Lightsaber maybe?"

He chuckled to himself, nobody just had a lightsaber laying around, that was crazy talk.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

He waited for a moment, shaking slightly in the bitter cold. His lips thinned after only a few seconds, mostly because of the goddamn cold. Even with the thick thermal jacket he had on he could still feel an icy chill reach down to his very spine. His fingers curled and uncurled, and slowly he began to think that this job wasn't really all that it had originally been cracked out to be.

Maybe he'd ask for a transfer to Spira.

"Uhhh"

Finally Jerry's voice rang over the radio, though it seemed like an age since he'd actually called him. The fat fuck was probably just too busy stuffing his face, probably eating the last of the donuts they'd gotten on the delivery yesterday. A warm breath flowed from Chris' hands as he tried to warm himself. The gloves he hadn't didn't really do much, they were thin as all hell. He made a mental not to buy better ones on his next rotation back.

"No."

Goddamnit it Jerry.

"Well maybe."

Where the fuck was he going with this? It was cold out here, Chris didn't have time to sit around and make small talk. If he sat here for too long he'd just freeze to death.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

"Jerry I sweat to all that is holy." He took in another icy cold breath, shaking once again. "If you don't give me a straight answer I'm going to come back inside and break your spine. I'll do it too."

It was far too cold for any of this. He should have been inside in his bed, wrapped in a warm blanket and with his datapad playing League of Champions, but no, instead he was out here trying to reset this stupid fucking comm-relay because Jerry was too fat to do it.

Stupid Jerry.

"Yeah well if you're going to be an ass then why would I help you?"

"SO YOU CAN DO YOUR FUCKING JOB JERRY!" Chris screamed into his radio, making a choking motion with his hands.

It didn't really help to do that of course, but it at the very least made him feel better about the situation. In reality if he murdered Jerry Vanir Technologies would likely throw him in prison. Technically there weren't any laws out here, but he didn't want to risk it. The company was a good one, and if he could avoid getting fired for another ten or twenty years he could probably retire with a pretty good pension. What more could he really ask for?

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Karking Jerry. Honestly.

"Well a few weeks ago we had that supply deliver."

Oh god here they went again with the supply delivery. Every single time there was a problem Jerry liked to blame it on the supply delivery. 'Oh the company didn't send out enough food pellets', 'Oh I left the tank off the requisition order', 'They only sent one blanket'. Bastard. Chris knew that there was a second blanket, Jerry had just stolen it because he got cold. The Security officer frowned slightly, his hands still shaking every few seconds as he let out a cold breath.

"What about it." He punctuated his words with hate. "Jerry."

"It had that thing in it."

Chris put his face in his hand. "What thing?"

If the communications officer was any more incomprehensible Chris might have guessed that he was a complete idiot. The only reason that he didn't think that was because he'd seen the mans capabilities with a transmissions suite. It was impressive, but also just about the only redeeming quality that the bastard actually had.

Everything else was awful.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

"You know...that thing. They said it was like a Plasma Cutter, but better somehow...I don't know. Corporate sent it over, said that they were doing 'internal testing' again like they did with those datapads. I told you about this when the shipment came in."

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose. "No."

Disappointment sounded through his voice, like he was talking to a child that had just pooped in the bed.

"No you didn't Jerry." Chris had not been informed of any new gadgets, especially not a new type of Plasma Cutter. Had he been told he wouldn't have requisitioned a new one just two days ago but instead would have used the freaking prototype. A long sigh escaped his lips, his hand flattening on his face as he slowly dragged his fingers over it. Another sigh escaped him, and slowly he stood up from within the snow. "I hate you Jerry."

Slowly he turned and wandered back towards the outpost.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Chris slowly trudged through the snow his fingers curling and uncurling every few seconds as he attempted to at least keep some of the blood flowing through them. His boots stomped as he finally found the heated metal grating in front of the outpost, a small system that kept walls of ice from forming in front of their tiny garage. He trudged into the small space where they kept the snowspeeder and tools, his eyes wandering over half a dozen different boxes.

Jerry, the useful fuck that he was, never organized any of the supply crates they got from headquarters.

It was one of the few jobs that the other man had here in the outpost, aside from running communications, and yet he managed to fuck it up every single time. Chris wasn't exactly sure how he did it, though he was almost certain the bastard did it intentionally. Chris let out a sigh as he began to dig through half a dozen different supply boxes, letting out curses every now and again and vowing that he would smite Jerry for this later on.

Eventually he found what he was looking for.

"There you are...I think." Chris said to himself as he pulled out a smaller plastic box from one of the more recent crates.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Chris inspected the box for a moment.

"Vanir Technologies Disruption Cutter." Well if the name was anything to go off of this would be entirely exciting and new. He shifted for a moment and then popped the latches of the box, inspecting the bottom for a moment and reading the warning. "Do not place against skin. Do not overload. Do not...blah blah."

His head shook and he opened the lid.

The device inside appeared to be about as innocuous as one could get, similar to a nailgun but with a more advanced readout on the back. Chris scooped the device up and hefted it's weight, surprised in how heavy the device actually was. He frowned for a moment and then played with the dials, eventually finding the small primer switch that would turn on the display at the back of the tool. "A ha!"

Small success.

"Please load powercell." He could do that.

Standing up Chris took the box with him, placing it on the workbench and retrieving the small powercell from the foam padding.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

He spent about five minute simply fiddling around with the device, half checking the instructions while he loaded the powercell and started up the device. There was a slight chirping from the back of the tool as he slid the powercell into place, but aside from that Chris didn't get much else in a way of indication. "That should do it."

The charge indicator on the back of the device read one hundred percent, which as far as he was concerned was more than enough to just cut the plate. He frowned and then looked over the tool one more time, glancing down the instructions so he would actually be able to use it properly when the time came. Carrying out the little booklet wasn't going to happen after all, it was far too windy and the pages would probably stick together.

"Press flush against surface..." Chris read out loud to himself as he flipped the page. "Ensure proper grip..."

Pretty standard really. "Yep."

Well, perhaps for once Jerry had actually managed to come through for him. That was a rare enough event in it of itself, usually the fat fuck just sat there and maintained his uselessness. In truth he missed the days of being in a stormtrooper regiment.

At least Mason knew how to work a plasma cutter.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Chris stepped back out into the cold, immediately regretting his decision as the wind struck his chest.

"Kark." He said to himself quietly as he slowly trudged forward, regretting the fact that he hadn't checked for better gloves or something of the sort. He reached up and pulled his scarf over his nose, goosebumps already racing over his skin as he headed back towards the communications array. A shiver rushed up his spine, fingers clutching the device through his thin gloves. Eventually Chris completed his trek, reaching the platform once more.

"Okay." He breathed through a shiver. "Okay okay okay."

His bright blue eyes glanced towards the device. "Don't let me down."

Chris had no idea how he would fix this if this thing didn't work. Not only that but he would have to report back to Headquarters and tell them their little gadget didn't work. Those guys absolutely hated when he did that, mostly because it cost them a shit ton of money.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Slowly he pressed the tip of the device against the cold metal plate, depressing the small buttons on the front and pulling the first trigger. He waited for a moment, watching the display on the back of the tool. The small charge bar on the display quickly began to creep up, moving further and further until it cleared the little green line.

"Okay here we go..." Chris trailed off as he pulled the second trigger.

Almost immediately the device kicked into action, the disruptor field sounding out with a tiny whirring noise that seemed to echo even through the storm. His face colored with surprise as the device easily cut through the metal plate, slicing the broken off section of the comm-array in a matter of seconds. As soon as the cut was complete Chris backed off slightly, the device shutting off as soon as the front panels stopped being depressed.

He blinked a few times.

"Well shit." Chris said to himself. "Great news, Jerry. You're not entirely useless."

The Security Officer said with a smile as he resumed cutting.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

The device, as he found out, wasn't exactly perfect. It had a cool down period between each section of use and needed to be restarted every time you wanted to cut a new angle, an annoying little thing, but it worked well enough that in no time Chris managed to reset the comm-array.

He let out a sigh as he pushed the array into place, a loud thunk of metal resounding within the ice storm as the device settled on it's new post.

Chris smiled to himself, glancing at the device in his hand. He was more used to a plasma cutter, and the tool had it's own little quirks, but it worked well enough. He smiled slightly and glanced at the back panel, reaching over and switching off the Disruption Cutter, he wouldn't need it anymore. "Alright Jerry."

He said over the comms.

"I'm coming inside." He glanced one last time at the comm-array and then back towards the metal panel, satisfaction drifting through him. "You better not have eaten those donuts."

Or else.