Private Just Point And Shoot

[Kahlil Noble]

"It's unfortunately not black and white with it."

He paused to let that settle, before he smiled.

"Or perhaps it's fortunate. Most Sith are Sith because of circumstance. They don't pick that life, but it's all they know. Because they're not downright evil monsters, there's hope for them. If someone extends a hand, they can live a life free of that corruption. Of course there are some that, you know, don't care. True monsters, true villains." He raised a hand, then another.

"On the other hand, that same thing can be said about the Jedi. Some don't pick this life, it's the only one they know. And when it's all they know, it's easy to simplify things into black and white. Sithspawn and Sith are bad, they need to be killed to stop from harming others. If some lives are sacrificed in the process, then it's worth it to save more lives. Acceptable losses in the face of a great evil."

He lowered his hands then, giving a more sheepish smile.

"I'm not sure honestly which is right and which is wrong. What Rhis did was certainly wrong, but how much leniency should we really give butchers and murderers? Is it really our place to give them forgiveness? There is no right answer. Our own experiences, our own judgements, that's all we can truly go on. That's what I was given when I fled the Sith and was given a chance to be something more than what my family wanted me to be. I know it's not really helpful as an answer, but it is something to think about. If you want to ask questions, I can answer my own experiences at least."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

Shan nodded at the first hand that Kahlil brought up. It was how he felt about Nyaeli . She wasn't just an evil monster. She was hurting and in pain. Though now Shan would be responsible if she went on to hurt anyone else, since he could have stopped her from carrying on her actions...but he had made his choice, and Shan was going to live with it now.

Though as he listened to Kahlil's other point, Shan had never thought of it like that before. He always thought he saw the world in black and white, but it seemed he saw more grey than most extremist Jedi. It was clear that Shan was trying to think about what Kahlil had said. It didn't really work to get rid of any of his fears, but it did ironically give him more to think about though at the same time it felt like less of a giant task to sort through his thoughts. Prioritise them into things he had to think about first, and then work from there.

"It's just...sometimes I wonder if I'm making the wrong choices with my actions. When I was on a mission with Master Serys and we came under attack, I took the harder path of trying to disarm the men attacking us. Then on Elom, I let that Sith live. I had her on the ground with my saber pointed at her...but I let her go. I felt angry during my fight with her. I nearly struck her down in anger and it scared me." Shan felt...concerned with his own emotions. He'd need to get through his emotions in a healthy manner however, perhaps trying to do a repeat of the rage room Cora had done with him...

"Is it normal to feel like you aren't making the best choices?" He turned his attention back towards Kahlil. "I don't regret sparring the Sith...or keeping those men alive, but at the same time...I feel like there were better choices I could have made. That would leave less risks." He ran a hand through his hair, sighing afterwards as he was once again trying to wrap his head around his thoughts. "I'm trying to decide what's better. The morally right choice, or the smart choice. I'm not a droid, which would make my choices far easier."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Well.. Stop thinking."

Kahlil reached over, poking his forehead with a grin.

"We're not droids. We're not gods. You said you don't regret sparring her, so focus on that. We won't get everything right. Just don't do something you'll ever regret, and save those you can in the moment. Is it right? No, probably not, but if we spend our time trying to think it through, we'll fail to save someone who needed us then and there, right?"

He turned back to the drones, motioning to them.

"Asides, you're still a Padawan. Trust us, your Master, the Council, the other Jedi, to help when you're unsure what to do. We always will."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

Stop thinking?...Shan had never actually thought about that, ironically. Nearly everything he did, he had to think about his actions before hand. He always tried to think about his actions afterwards to decide if they were right or wrong, but here Kahlil was...telling him to stop thinking. It made sense. The past was the past and Shan always liked to focus on the present.

However then Kahlil brought up Shan trusting in the other Jedi which was one of the problems that Shan had actually. It made sense to trust the Council. And Shan could easily trust Valery and Kahlil, alongside his friends he had made...but Rhis had made Shan less trusting of regular Jedi. It wasn't something he felt comfortable thinking about...so Shan just decided not to think about it, shaking his head afterwards

"I understand Master. I'm just used to keeping my concerns to myself since my parents were never a huge fan of hearing me talk about those kind of things..."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"I can't speak for your parents, but we'll always listen. To any concerns or problems you have. Alright?" He flashed another grin and gave a thumbs up before motioning towards the targets again.

"One thing at a time though. Stop thinking, and just let the Force guide you for this bit, alright? Point and shoot."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

"Of course. I wouldn't expect otherwise from you or Master Valery."

Shan lowered his head to Kahlil slightly, before turning his attention to the Force, letting it guide him to try and shoot the moving drones again. Trying not to rely on his eyes like he had previously. He was still missing a fair few times, but slowly but surely was starting to get better with his accuracy

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Feel it. That moment to strike, to fire. Aiming helps you find that moment sooner, but if you truly listen you could very much swung that gun around randomly and still hit your targets if you're.. Well, it's not really focused but you get the idea."

That.. Probably wasn't as helpful, but Kahlil smiled none the less. He was seeming to at least understand and get more and more accurate with every shot. That was progress, and with the coming war progress meant better chances of survival.

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

Feel the moment when to fire...That was what Shan had been trying to do as he swung the blaster around. Waiting for the sensation when the Force seemed to yell at him to fire. It felt like the waves of the Force were raising up into the air before crashing down when Shan fired towards the target. Every so often, he'd pull the trigger too early or too late after the Force crashed back down but he was starting to get an understanding of the timing.

"...I don't need to get involved in the war, if I don't want to, right?" Shan voiced up a thought that had been on his mind, frowning as he kept firing. Trying to focus on talking to Kahlil, whilst relying on the Force to hit accurately. "I originally thought I should get involved...but I don't know. I don't think I'm anywhere near ready. And I'm ready to admit that."

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"No, you don't. Not if you don't feel ready. There is no better judge of that than yourself when you're honest." So that was another thought weighing on his mind? Kahlil smiled softly. This was quite a lot for a Padawan to have to think over. Honestly, it made him rather sad that this was something Shan even needed to think about. War wasn't a place for Padawans of any kind.

"You can stay here, at the Temple."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

"I just know...I'm not ready to fight someone to the death. I thought I was ready on Elom, but I was wrong." Shan sighed to himself. Sometimes he wished he didn't see life was something so precious. It would make it easier for him to help in the War. To feel valuable. There was a chance that his fellow padawan Katherine Holt might end up choosing to go into battle, and he didn't want her to do that alone. After their discussion on Eshan, Shan wanted to be there to help her.

"I don't mind going to be support...To help heal people if they need it, but I don't think I can raise a saber, or even a blaster to a Mandalorian." He carried on firing the blaster, just trusting in the Force to let him hit a target. Waiting for when the sensation of the Force reached it peak and then firing to hit one of the drones.

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"That is, ultimately, your choice Shan. You don't have to fight if you don't feel ready for it, but you're not going onto a battlefield, even as support. You're a Jedi, Shan, and that means you're a target. These lessons aren't here to teach you how to kill, but defend yourself, and how to be ready to defend those around you. Mandalorians fight to the death because that is their belief. Through death, they gain true honor."

Kahlil shook his head, turning his gaze to the drones.

"You will be faced with a choice where you, they, or someone else must die because they will force that choice on you."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

"...It's stupid." Shan said, letting a bit of his frustration bubble up to the surface. After the encounter he had with Lily and the discussion they had over Echani, Shan didn't want to insult another culture he couldn't understand but this was different. The Echani fought, but that didn't mean they focused on killing. Whereas the more and more he hears about Mandalorians, the more and more it just confused him. None of it made sense. "Life is precious. They should focus on using their skills on something worthwhile. Not on getting rid of something that's...unique. You should never seek out death. I probably sound arrogant talking about them this way..."

He'd have to make a choice one day. Shan knew that. His pacifism couldn't last forever. Not in the state of the Galaxy. It was something he had accepted. He just knew he wasn't ready to break it yet. If he killed someone, without trying to find another way...It would probably just break him more than anything. And he refused to let that happen.

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"You're right. You do sound arrogant."

Kahlil reached up to set a hand on Shan's head. And ruffle his hair. He could feel the frustration from the boy, and it was a frustration he understood all too well.

"Their beliefs, their people, their culture. From the outside, this is all I know. But if I'm being honest, I might be a little opinionated. As an Epicanthix, I can't stand a warrior culture like theirs. They destroy and supplant their beliefs on any culture they come across. Whereas we, Epicanthix I mean, strive to preserve and celebrate the people we've conquered throughout our history. They are us."

He smiled then as he lowered his hand. "Probably sounds terrible to you, doesn't it? But that's my people. Not all Mandalorians agree with the coming crusade. Perhaps that just means, like with Jedi and Sith, that their beliefs can be twisted to something darker."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

Shan blinked at the hair ruffling, before listening to Kahlil talk about the Epicanthix. If he was honest, their culture sounded better than the Mandalorians, but it still wasn't something Shan would ever agree to. He was of the opinion that wars were very rarely ever necessary. Violence wasn't necessary in every situation but he could understand why people would think otherwise.

"I just...I can't see myself ever seeing their point of view. With some Sith, I can understand. It's a result of their situation, their upbringing, their experiences. At least with the Epicanthix, they preserve culture and knowledge. From the sounds of it, Mandalorians just burn it down to the ground." He ran his hand through his hair, sighing to himself before glancing over towards Kahlil, giving a half hearted smile.

"I'm never normally...this judgemental or opinionated over another culture. I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm sorry." Why was Shan apologising? He didn't quite know. He just knew that what he was saying wasn't necessarily right. It was fine for him to have opinions, but he shouldn't be judging people he had never met over those opinions. First hand experience should be what made him judge a person's character, not what he had heard about them. It was just hard for him to do so, the more he heard about the Mandalorians.

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"There are going to be countless view points in this galaxy that you likely won't ever be able to understand. Our duty as Jedi is to always do what's right, but we won't know what's right if we're not willing to at least learn others. The Mandalorians are choosing war, and we will have to face them, but don't forget that it's not all of their beliefs. Not all of them are going to be our enemies. Some will want to avoid war."

Kahlil nodded once before he reached out to turn the drones off.

"You'll be able to do much, Shan. I believe that. But it's important you don't ever let yourself think you're done learning. Even Master's must continue to learn."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

"I'm always looking to learn more Master. I know no matter what, there will always be more to learn. Even a Master still has new things to learn." Shan nodded as Kahlil turned off the drones, and headed over towards the table to place the blaster back with the others. He wasn't going to take it with him, and if he needed to practice, he could always just find a spare to use for practice.

He was going to have to just remember that not all Mandalorians were going to want war. It was going to be hard for him to wrap his head around that, since he already had a bias towards the culture but a Jedi didn't judge. They should accept people, and not base them off their culture. He was just going to have remind himself that.

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Exactly."

Kahlil smiled after a moment though. This was as good a stopping point as any for the training portion of it all. He'd gotten a good grip on how to handle the blaster at least. Grant it, it wasn't proper military training.

But they weren't military. And in a way this would help him learn more on how to use the Force.

"But, and final thing before I let you go; everything we've just talked about, the Mandalrorians and the war, don't think on it. Focus on your training, on the Force. If you're not feeling ready to join the battle, focus instead on what you are ready for. Anything else will only make it harder for you to focus."

Shan Pavond

 

[Shan Pavond]

Shan gave a short nod. He was content with ending the training here anyway. There was no point in going overboard with training, he'd need time to relax and unwind after everything they'd discuss, as it was still front and centre in his mind. Up until Kahlil told him to stop thinking about it, causing the Mirialan to blink for a moment, before giving another short nod.

"I'll do my hardest not to think on it Master. I'll look for...other things to focus on, alongside my training. Worrying about the Mandalorians or the War won't be useful. I can't do anything to solve either situation, so I should focus on what I can do. Train, train, and train some more."

He lowered his head at that again, before standing up straight and brushing off his robes. Going straight back into training wasn't going to be a good idea. Maybe he could go and read up on some things in the archive. Either way, Shan felt like he had achieved quite a bit during the lesson and learned more about how to approach different cultures from Kahlil.

Kahlil Noble