Jer'Jo Cam'Co

[Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo]

[SIZE=9pt]NAME:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Jer'Jo Cam'Co
FACTION: Chiss
RANK: Grand Admiral
SPECIES: Chiss
AGE: 34
SEX: male
HEIGHT: 5 feet
WEIGHT: 150 LB[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]EYES:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] Red
HAIR: Black
SKIN: Bule
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes

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STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES (Required: 2 Weaknesses Minimum) :[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Accelerated healing capabilities[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Quantum-crystalline armor [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Greathly powerful in the force[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Harder to find in the force unless using Vongsense[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Weakness:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Dark magic[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Overconfident [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Stubborn[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]APPEARANCE:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]The Chiss were a near-Human species distinguished by their blue skin and glowing red eyes, which grew darker depending on the oxygen content of their surroundings. The more oxygen present, the more intense the color of their eyes and skin tone. While their hair was typically jet black, it did on rare occasions go gray with age (most Chiss believed that the development of gray hair was an indication of the siring of exceptional children).Their physical form led to some speculation on whether they were an offshoot of humanity's ancient expansions into the galaxy or whether their physical form coincidentally matched that of Humans. However, genetic analysis indicated that they were an offshoot of humanity, and it was believed that moving underground led to a divergence between them and baseline Humans. Furthermore, this analysis indicated that their unique skin tone was the result of exposure to glacial minerals. Their blue skin, jet black hair and red eyes generally commanded attention once they were in a crowd of regular humanoids, and these features made them physically striking and instantly recognizable. Male and female Chiss tend to be more powerfully built when compared to Humans but exhibit the same variances as Humanoid sexes. A Chiss stood between either 1.6 to 2.1 meters in height though an average height of an adult was believed to be 1.7 meters.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]
BIOGRAPHY:
Jer'Jo Cam'Co was one of the founding syndics of the Chiss.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]He proposed the creation of the Chiss Expansionary Defense Force after exploration efforts revealed several resource rich worlds. As a result of this, many old records found in the Expeditionary Library held his name. At least seven Chiss vessels were named for him, as well as two star systems.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Jacen Solo encountered the name several times when using the Library to find Zonama Sekot. When he asked Wynssa Fel who Jer'Jo Cam'Co was, it was Commander Irolia who explained to him of the Syndic's history.

SHIP:[/SIZE]

• [SIZE=10.5pt]Sun Crusher mark IV[/SIZE]
• [SIZE=10.5pt]CenterPoint station [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]· [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]Armor:[/SIZE]

• [SIZE=9pt]Quantum-crystalline armor[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]· [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]Weaponry:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt] Cam’co’s rainbow Lightsaber[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]o [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]Cam’co’s Second Lightsaber[/SIZE]

• [SIZE=10pt]Darkstaff [/SIZE]
• [SIZE=10pt]Gravity gun[/SIZE]
• [SIZE=10pt]infant of Shaa[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Transport:[/SIZE]

• [SIZE=10.5pt]Sun Crusher [/SIZE]
• [SIZE=10.5pt]Vengeance-class dreadnought [/SIZE]
• [SIZE=10.5pt]Executor-class Star Dreadnought [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Miscellaneous:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]o [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]Sith Amulet[/SIZE]

• [SIZE=10.5pt]Thought bomb [/SIZE]

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[/SIZE]

 

[KeCholo]

Just a friendly reminder here,

Thought bombs are banned

You can't be a grand general unless you are promoted in a faction you join or make one yourself

All force users start at the rank of padawan and must RP their way up

 

[Darth Carnifex]

o Sith Amulet

That looks familiar.

 

[Sibar Laval]

[member="Emperor__Mitth_raw_nuruodo"]

Gotta be completly honest....this breaks... a lot of rules.

Specifically what these two said above. (Seriously [member="Darth Vornskr"] 's amulet?! Out of all the amulets you could have claimed to be your own?! You got a death wish.) You can't go just claiming random things especially when they say their personal items for other characters.

Seriously I gotta say, 99% sure that the appearance was take directly from the Star Wars wiki.
Now one of the less important things, how are these people in the bio?! It just seems random that you expect people to have any idea who these people are. Now.....the most important thing.

[*]Gravity gun[/*]
[*]infant of Shaa[/*]

Gravity gun..... You mean the one that KARKING blows up planets don't you? *ahem* No. And well THE KARKING INFANT OF SHAA?! That is basically the worst doomsday weapon anyone can get. That is probably the greatest problem with the bio. How would one even acquire the infant and/or the gravity gun?!

 

[Kurayami Bloodborn]

That is also ignoring a new version of the Sun Crusher, Centerpoint Station, and the use of quantum crystalline armor. Is the quantum crystalline armor supposed to be personal armor or what? It isn't overly important as it is a banned material, all superweapons are banned, and the use of Celestial tech is also a no go from my understanding. I get wanting your character to be awesome, I do, but to do that here ya gotta put the work in to build up your rep, and do basically the exact opposite of this bio. I'm not saying you are a bad person, but you need to make a lot of changes to this as it stands. The admins and judges here are good people, if you want advice I am sure they would be willing to help you out.