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Vakhari Lutris
"I would hope that you remembered what I told you."
"
You're never poor so long as you find what you're good at."
Valaine spoke, recalling what
Vakhari had said the first time they met with a smirk as she glanced to her. "
I do pay attention, you know? Despite how bored I look all the time." She reached to her cup for another sip, lightly placing it back down as she watched
Vakhari seemingly enjoy the coffee cake. She couldn't help but smile softly in response, it was a good idea to get it for her.
She took another bite from her own cake before leaning back slightly in her seat, listening as
Vakhari proceeded to go into her rather important question. She'd thought about it a little, what she could do with this knowledge she was taught. She honestly expected she'd just keep helping
Vakhari in her works for the foreseeable future. She hadn't given too much thought to branching out on her own yet, making her own name as it were.
But then came the question that seemed to make the young Sangnir pause with a sudden hitched breath.
"Or, are you simply here because of me?"
Her tired eyes looked to the doctor and there was just the lightest bit of concern in her gaze as she thought about it. The truth of it was simple; she had wanted to be close to
Vakhari, to learn more about her, to try and befriend her. All because she thought she was beautiful when she smiled, when she took joy in her work, when she enthusiastically went into deep detail of her favorite subjects.
She knew what answer
Vakhari likely wanted to hear, and it would be easy enough to just give it. But as she looked upon her she was struck with a deep sense of guilt; she didn't want to have to lie to her. If she truly wanted to become closer to her, then she couldn't start with a lie. It'd just poison everything else that was built upon it.
The Sangnir brought a hand to her head as she brushed her dark hair back with a drawn sigh while looking to the distant neon sights. It would be easy to tell that there was a conflict within her thoughts, taking far longer to respond than she should.
In the end she chose honesty.
She looked back towards
Vakhari with a soft frown. "
... Do you remember during our first meeting? I admired your passion for your work, I still do... My life has been one that started in hell, that is still hell, and for the longest time I believed that it would continue to be hell. Nothing good has ever happened to me, and I never expected it ever would."
There was a pause as she set her sights once more upon the distant lights, another sigh following. "
Even at the academy... I fell behind my peers, nobody really took note of me at first, but then the one person who did was only set on manipulating me for some purpose. Hell had followed me across the stars." A hand reached forward to her cup of coffee, lightly swirling the liquid inside as she stared into the cup.
"
Then... Just by chance, I meet someone who displayed such a joy for her work, who spoke so eagerly about it, that I was honestly stunned. This person in front of me seemed so happy with where she was in life, and I wanted what she had. I thought that if I stick around her, that maybe I'd be able to have that same kind of passion for something, feel that same joy and accomplishment. A purpose."
She smiled gently at the memory and then her tired eyes turned back to
Vakhari. "
It's... Not exactly what you're thinking. Yes, you're attractive, yes I'm attracted to you, but that's not the reason I want to be around you Vakhari. I'm... Trying to help myself. It just so happens that I ended up pretty fond of you at the same time."
A pause for a sip of coffee before the cup was placed back down. "
But... These past few days, weeks, however long it's been, where you've been teaching me your craft, and damn have I been trying my best to learn... I'm finding that I'm starting to enjoy it too. If you'd asked me back at our first meeting if I'd ever feel accomplished or happy with pulling someone's heart out of their chest intact, I'd have probably winced. But now that I'm here, and I've been making progress, I only ever look forward to what I might be able to do tomorrow. Maybe next I could extract the whole nervous system as one complete and whole thing along with the brain and eyes? That'd be awesome right?" she smirked lightly, she'd truly started to appreciate the form of a body, humanoid or otherwise.
"
I'm enjoying my training, and I'm glad you're teaching me. The future though? I haven't thought too far ahead. There's so much more to learn in each field right? We haven't even started with augmentation, with cosmetic surgery, or even really anything to do with chemistry or bio-engineering. There's still so much I can learn, I feel like I can't really decide on what my end goal is yet without... well, trying everything else first. If I choose to be a surgeon now, to heal or dissect, what if I discover later that actually manufacturing weapons is far more my thing?"
She sighed breathlessly, having worked herself into something of a flurry of words herself for once. Perhaps a little payback for how often
Vakhari spoke at such lengths when she taught. "
But... you know, broadly speaking, I'd be fine just being your assistant you know? Even if I become accomplished, I'd like to keep helping you. Maybe even one day I'll be that useful to you? And... I don't care if you'll ever see me in the same light that I see you, being besides you is more than enough."
As she leaned forward she stared down at the table, fingers lightly drumming against it. She wasn't sure how
Vakhari would response to her answer. Maybe she didn't like it, maybe everything would just come to a stark and abrupt halt right here, maybe nothing good ever did happen for her after all. She shuddered at the thought, both hands curling around the cup of coffee in contemplation.
"
... But yes, it is cold." she repeated.