It is hard to say goodbye.

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Serena stood in her quarters in shock the message from home was from her brother Raymond.

Terrible accident on Dagobah, Dad is dead. Come to Dagobah.

Serena asked to use a ship to travel which was not denied. She thought about should she take someone from the temple with her, she didn't know. She couldn't think really the shock of this news had sent her on a spiral downwards.

Their family was close they did not possess the horrors that often filled the homes of so many. For one the only voice in her head was her own screaming in agony, the only emotions were hers to confusion, angry, loss, regret and a sorrow so deep she did not know if she would ever heal from it.

She packed a bag just putting things in it, not knowing what it was, or if it was clean. Serena stopped turned and sat on the edge of her bed. What had she and her father talked about last, and when was that?

"How goes the training Wren?"

"OH Daddy its hard, and there's some things that aren't going so well' She couldn't bring herself to tell him about the difficulties, the voice, the emotions the EVERYTHING. She whimpered and hoped he didn't hear it

"Are you giving up?"

"No Daddy, I'm working on it, How's goes the classifying?" She had to change the subject.

"Long, might have found a new species"

"Oh really, male or female?"

"Genus indicates male need two to pollenate"

"Daddy I saw a Neti! Was wonderful he was so pretty to look at, so unique in coloring and you could just feel the age ripple off of him. His name was @Kazlika " The classes for more knowledge, things she tried to practice, all but the shatter point that was a dangerous skill.

"Interesting, well hate to go Wren come visit soon miss you"

"Miss you too"

That was the last conversation, and now she was going to the celebration of his life. "I'm sorry I didn't make it home" she said to no one.

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

An hour later Serena was piloting a ship from Voss to Dagobah getting clearances based on her credentials not her status. Showing a relationship to her family and the notification of her father's death.

She sat so still as she thought about her childhood her father had given her the nickname Wren, no one knew of it except the family. It seemed that those were the conversations she remembered most all of them sitting together drinking whatever was allowed and delving into each others lives calling each other by the names they grew up with and not their given ones.

She laughed when they told the story of Cricket (James) pulling Scooter (Mary-Alice) along in the wagon after they had both cleaned out their mother's garden and were going to sell the vegetables to a group of visiting rodians for a quarter. What a day...what a life.

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

The celebration was upon them and the emotions of everyone around her began to wear her down. Their grief stabbed at her over and over she could feel it from the tips of her toes to the very top of her head the internal sobbing and questions of why. Endless emotions of what to do now, Serena battled to keep control she could not let herself even shed a single tear for her father as the others had overwhelmed her.

Serena retreated to a room constantly looking back to see if anyone followed, inside the room she asked for no lights, a flick of a finger locked the door. Serena sat down in the farthest corner drawing her knees to her chest and buring her face in her crossed arms. Pleading internally for it all to stop.

Please stop, OH GOD please stop!

She could not even see her father's face now blocked by a gift that felt more and more each day like torture. She wished she could point a finger at someone and say it is their fault, but how do you fault something that most cannot see, and some do not even believe in.

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

She wanted to stay in her room the walls were so thin she could still hear and feel everyone's grief. They were telling James he was the man of the house now and he had to take care of his mother.

Were they so antiquated that they needed to tell him this, that he needed that burden? All of the children will have to be taken care of all of you older ones will have to chip in.
Chip in? What she rarely had enough credits the few endowments that she did get were spent on additional needs.

God this was a nightmare. Words. so many words.

Emotions, so many hard sad damned emotions.

Serena put her hands over her ears go away go away go AWAY!!!

Then the silence finally came, had it been hours, moments, or days? She did not know all she knew there were no voices. Then she felt it.

It moved like a giant lumbering hutt slow but sure it covered everything in its path. Grief poured out on Serena she could feel her own tears welling up, the sense of loss the knowledge was the worst. The knowing that he wasn't here, and wouldn't be here. Serena felt it. The grief had a life of its own it was touching everyone in the house. It wrapped its cold dark fingers around them all pulling them closely together squeezing them until they could do nothing but cry.

Her mother was sobbing and yet Serena could not move. She knew her mother needed her just then and Serena knew she had to be strong for her. Pushing herself up she tried to put her emotions in check but grief had found a place to attach itself and would not let go.

Serena walked one foot in front of the other going in a direction that would lead her to her mother. There she was on the bed curled up much like Serena had been. Without words Serena laid down beside her.

"It's going to be ok Mom. It will be the worst thing we've ever lived through but we are going to live through because Daddy would want us to" Serena frowned but laid still beside her mother.

"Yes dear"

Serena laid her head on her mother, she felt her arms move and go around her drawing her close. "It's ok little Wren" Serena started to cry she wanted this to be one of those dreams that she woke from only to find it all was a lie. She wanted this pain in her heart to stop choking her. She wanted to make her mother feel better.

Serena did not know that by sharing her grief her mother did feel better, life for her and the children would go on.

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

Serena looked around pictures of all of them adorned shelves and walls. Smiles full of good memories. She had known that there would come a time for this except this had come too soon and no one had been prepared.

Serena knew she could stay here for days and live among the memories but there was training, and work to be done. The tablets on Shri-Tal were waiting for her. And she was working on another degree, keeping her mind busy would help with everything.

When she turned around they were all standing there looking at her What I have egg on my face? They only shook their heads and then as they had done as children they gathered in a circle putting their arms across each others shoulders, huddled up like a team. They were a team, Team Bouie. She leaned on her brother. A Jedi huh, bet we can still hold you down. Serena laughed, No doubt but only because I let you.

Everyone made the wooooo sound a challenge had been issued. Do they treat you ok? We remember the last time. Serena nodded, They are better, there are bumps but I did not walk away this time.

There's a boy isn't there? Serena looked at her youngest sister, There's a very nice man again the group woooood. Serena laughed. She knew she could not do any of this without them too. This was where her sense of humor resided, her sense of fun. She had to find it and bring it to Voss, and teach the serious Jedi that life had more to it than books, and Sith.

She didn't tell them about the Sith.

I have to go back, it has been a week now and nothing will change what has happened. We will always miss him, and now we must take care of mother. All of us. They nodded. They had strength as a family.

They stood there like that until the legs ached, unwilling to let go of one another a bit fearful that they could lose another. Finally they did let go, and Serena hugged them all made promises to keep in touch and headed back to Voss. Alone in the ship she cried until she could cry no more and by time she reached Voss her eyes nearly swollen shut from grief she returned to her duties with a heavy heart believing that she had dealt with her grief.

 

[Darth Ren Malgus]

She had left here months ago but her last training with [member="Connor Harrison"] had suggested she return and face what had happened. Her father's study. This place where she touched the shard.

Where was it? It had to be in the room. Serena began looking through the containers. She was sure that it was here it was a gift. A donation. Serena began looking through the bookshelf pulling out the chronicles of yavin she found the familiar box. Within it the piece that still seemed be alive. This small piece was not enough and she was sure the temple of the blue leaf cluster was destroyed.

But there was rumor that on mustafar the black hand had more of this relic in their temple. She would be going there it seemed. She would need help. Someone who could fight and think about the safety of relics. [member="Venris Helion"] was he available to take on another temple.

One way to find out.