Private Inquisitive Padawan Learner

[Caden Evesa]

The class on the beach had come to a close.

As students packed up and cleared out, one remained behind. As more and more students boarded the shuttle to leave the planet, one remained sat down. He was young, maybe fourteen. Damian Starchaser had been speaking to him throughout the lesson he had been teaching, and the young Padawan had come to respect the man.

Caden Evesa remained sat.

He wanted to speak to the Jedi Master now that people had left the beach. The man seemed knowledgeable, which was something that Caden had noted as the lesson had gone on. Caden hoped that the Jedi Master could use that knowledge to help him solve a problem, something he had been dealing with for so, so long.

It was a problem he had been dealing with since he was a child, yet something he had never told anyone about.

"Master Starchaser. A moment, if you will"

He spoke softly, quietly. He spoke just loud enough for the man to hear. He was desperate, in a lot of ways, for the man to help. He genuinely had hope that the man had the knowledge and understanding to assist. If not, Caden would just return to the libraries of The Silver Jedi Order and hope that something there could help him.

He held hope, however.

Damian Starchaser

 

[Damian Starchaser]

With the lesson over and the padawans and other Jedi dispersing Damian found himself cleaning up. He had meant for the students to do it, part of a lesson about respecting nature but was apparently growing soft in his old age. Besides he enjoyed keeping busy and kept about his work. The first step was to cover up the various camp fires and suffocate ashes to prevent any accidental fire. Damian was burying the sites in sand when he heard a voice. He's never get used to Master Starchaser. "Damian, please," he said in response still shoveling. Of course he noticed the boy hadn't left, if nothing else Damian was observant, perhaps overly so as near paranoia often crept into his thoughts.

As he turned he saw the boy who had provided mushrooms for their little feast. A rush of panic filled him for a moment. Instructors were expected to have answers and not just facts. Damian was armed with plenty of facts but answers sometimes still eluded him. Damian calmed himself compartmentalizing his insecurities as they popped up. Confidence returned to him and he smiled at the youth reassuringly, the same smile he'd given a hundred times before.

Striding over towards the youth he leaned down and picked up a small survival shovel from the camping kit near him. "And sure, I've got a moment." He handed the shovel out to the boy. "Cover the ashes with sand will you?"

Caden Evesa

 

[Caden Evesa]

He nodded.

He didn't mind the work, it kept his mind busy and prevented the inevitable fire that would start if they didn't. He was glad in a way that the master had realized leaving the ashes uncovered would cause nothing short of one big disaster, or the wind would carry an ember into the woods and start one big forest fire.

Most likely that one.

"Master Starchaser, sorry, Damian. You seem knowledgeable, and I wondered if that applied itself to aspects of the force. I wondered if you were capable of helping me with an issue I've been having, one that I haven't had the courage to mention before now."

He was on a roll now, nothing was going to stop him talking.

"When we went into the woods to collect objects for our shelters, I found myself lost in the force, partly why it took me so long and why I was gone so long. Upon collecting a branch from nearby, I found the force overwhelming me and I found myself lost in a vision, though unlike any I've ever experienced before. Instead of seeing the future, instead the past showed itself to me. I saw this branch that I collected, the entire history of the branch, from the beaver that collected it to the dam it formed to the gusts of wind that placed it in my path, I saw the entire history. In many ways Master, it was overwhelming"

He looked up to Damian slowly.

"This isn't the first time something like this has occurred. When I was much younger, me and some boys found a dead bird. I only touched the bird, to nurse it, and the emotion that poured out and filled me as I saw the past surrounding this bird scared me. Uncontrolled, the emotion that was felt that day I'm sure would have led me on a path to the dark side of the force."

He looked towards the mentor, continuing to talk.

"I've spent countless hours looking through text books and data archives Master, I can find no record of this ever being a gift of the force. I wondered if you had ever experienced such a power, and if so how can one control such a power as to not be embraced by the dark side?"

Damian Starchaser

 

[Damian Starchaser]

Damian listened in as he cleaned up making sure to raise his head from his work to look at the youth and make sure he knew he was still paying attention. At key moments he made sure he made eye contact with a reassuring look. When the boy was done talking Damian stood still for a moment and thought. Wordlessly he walked over and reached for the shovel he'd given the boy, the work was mostly done anyways. "I want you to sit down," he said indicating a log nearby the shelter the youth had crafted.

"So I think I know what's happening, but I'd like to ask you a question first if you don't mind." Damian sat down next to the boy and watched the ocean waves come in crashing against the sandy beach and gently flowing up the sand before rescinding back smoothing footprints and erasing traces of encroachment. Soon the beach would return to it's untouched state. The boy was clearly upset, and the experiences had been overwhelming to him. Damian could relate in a lot ways, he'd been young not too long ago.

"Why were you afraid to approach someone about this?" Damian had of course gleamed the answer from the youth, he'd basically already said it aloud. Now he just wanted confirmation, for the boy to admit it to himself.

Caden Evesa

 

[Caden Evesa]

He watched Damian.

The Jedi Master spoke softly, and took the shovel from him with a reassuring look. The indication towards the log was a very positive sign, a sign that he believed everything that the small child was saying towards him, that he believed the facts.

He sat down, and wordlessly continued to listen as Damian spoke.

The man had answers, that was a good thing, certainly positive. Yet he wanted to ask a question first, meaning that Caden would have a wait just a few seconds longer to get his answer and learn if he was going mad or if the force had granted him a super special gift.

Then Damian asked him why he was scared to share the information.

"I was afraid because, there are two reasons really. The first is that I was, and still am, afraid that people will think I'm absolutely mad. The second is because of the experiences I had, the fear of the darkside. I didn't want people to view me for just that, as just that guy who brushes with the darkside."

Damian Starchaser

 

[Damian Starchaser]

"Well on your first point let me reassure you right now that you aren't mad, at least I don't think you are." He reached into his jacket and felt for the two metalic cylinders inside. Upon selecting the proper one he pulled it from his jacket revealing his first lightsaber. "And the fact that you're worried about the possibility of the darkside is equally reassuring. So many Jedi feel they are immune to the temptations of the darkside. Any fear of me considering you as 'just that guy who brushes with the darkside' went out the window the minute you answered my question."

He wasn't sure what to do next. There was an idea floating in his head and thoughts crossing his mind. "Many Jedi will tell you its best to cut feelings out, to be an emotionless void to allow the force to enter you. It's the old adage about the cup. It may be molded from clay with a round wall but the usefulness of it is the emptiness inside, but we humans are flawed beings no matter how much some profess to be otherwise. It's how you deal with emotions that matter."

Oh boy. Life advice.What qualified him to tell this boy anything about life in general? Nothing really and yet here he was spouting out philosophy that he was sure would get him in trouble with cousin Coren and even his old master. "What you do, from the sounds of it, is something you're born with. It isn't something that can be cultivated or taught. It is a real gift. Before I say more though I'd like to conduct an experiment to confirm my suspicion. I've never done this before, and it might cause some emotional distress so before I continue I'd like to ask your permission."

Caden Evesa

 

[Caden Evesa]

He had heard the lecture before.

Many Jedi at the temple had once told him that emotions were the path to the darkside of the force, and that meditation should be used to cut yourself off from emotion and reflect on the day, allowing the force to flow through you and reaffirm your connection to the light.

He was glad, in many ways, that Master Starchaser had reassured him that being afraid of the temptations of the darkside of the force were only natural. Every single person felt emotion and felt something that made them wonder if they were going to brush with the darkside.

He looked at Damian again.

"If it helps you confirm what you believe, I'll do whatever I need to do"

He presumed that the weapon that Damian was holding had a history. He presumed that he would be about to relive that history. It was scary in many ways, but also intrigued and something he was very willing to do. He wanted to know what his gift was, and learn how to control it.

Damian Starchaser

 

[Damian Starchaser]

Damian looked down at the lightsaber. It was a finely polished silver with an almost floral pattern engraved into the hilt. He had been so proud when he made it and ignited the violet blade for the first time. He was sure something would go wrong, but he'd always had an aptitude for technical work messing with gadgets and ships. "I want you to hold my lightsaber as I tell a story. I want you to close your eyes and try to remove all thoughts except for my voice."

There was a little reluctance as he handed the blade to the Jedi. "I was your age, still a padawan myself. My master and I were responding to a distress call when suddenly we found ourselves in the midst of a Sith Invasion. " Damian himself focused on the event. It was the invasion of Telti, a traumatic event for him but one that in many ways shaped him. "I was barely trained in the force, and separated from my master as throngs of enemies swarmed us. From the midst came a figure a juggernaught if ever there was one."

The image of Kaine Zambrano, now Emperor Carnifex came clearly in his mind. There was a panic as he relived the memory and a cocky arrogance. He might not have been trained in the force but he was bred for combat, a genetic experiment designed for this purpose. The attacks came. "I fought him with my saber, we blocked and parried each others blows." The image in his head was clear as he reviewed his own memory for the story. Silently he tried to create a connection between himself and the padawan, tried to ease him into reliving the memory. The memory that was still so vivid for him years later. He fought with a saber in one hand and a blaster in the other. He blocked and dodged never letting himself get caught in a straight fight with the hulking man taking any opportune parry to raise the blaster up and shoot. He moved to strike in such a manner when a saber sliced through his blaster and sent him sprawling onto the ground. Rising up he gripped his own violet saber in both hands and stared at the man across from him. The two engaged again until the Sith got the upper hand. "At one point he grabbed my saber hand and began to crush it. I could feel the pain but I wouldn't let go." And painful it was, his hand was nearly destroyed as the herculean man has applied pressure. There was gloating too although Damian didn't remember the exact words exchanged. "With my other hand i reached inside a satchel I had and dropped an explosive at my feet and prepared to press the button." Desperate now the scene played out in his head, "If I was going to go down I would take him with me. I was prepared to do what needed to be done."

It was time to let the memory talk for him.

Kaine had dropped him. The hand he was using to crush Damians saber hand releasing to push the explosive device away and his other shooting a strike of lightning at Damian sending him flying into a nearby wall. All of Damians effort went into holding onto the saber using the force to dampen the pain. It was at this moment that he knew he would die. Panic overtook him, self doubt that could drown anyone. He was no Jedi, not really, he was just a boy pretending. And yet he knew he was something, he was a survivor. As Kaine gloated with words he couldn't hear over his pain and the crackle of lightning he extended two fingers from his saber hand and concentrated. The block of explosive started to move from its position where it fell. With a jerk of motion Damian threw it with the force below the catwalk that Kaine stood on. His other hand still held the detonator. He pressed the button and saw the explosion tear through the Sith. he fell to the ground, the lightning no longer pinning him to the wall. Later he'd find out he had two cracked ribs and his collar bone had been bruised. He looked at the burning corpse left behind. Relief washed over him for a minute before he saw the Sith lord move again and begin to stand up. Damian could barely move himself and took the only option open to him. he eased his way to the side of the catwalk and rolled over the edge and fell. His descent lasted an eternity in darkness and then the memory ended.

"I barely escaped with my life."

Damian let the memory go and opened his eyes examine the youth across from him.

Caden Evesa

 

[Caden Evesa]

He closed his hands gently around the lightsaber.

The eyes of the child closed, and he spent a few moments to breathe. The world around him zoned out, he focused on the cold metal of the lightsaber shaft in his grasp. He focused on the breathing of the man in front of him, the man by the name of Damian Starchaser.

Damian started his story.

Only two or three seconds had passed, and that's all it took. Almost instantly, Caden was overrun by the history of the lightsaber. He attempted to breathe his way through it and focus as he watched in his mind. He felt the hands of Damian as they constructed the weapon, made the weapon his own. He felt Damian, past Damian, exhausting the force to build the weapon.

Then the memories began to pass him in a blur.

He focused his mind onto the words of the man. He was forcing himself to find the moment in the lightsabers history. Every moment the lightsaber had ever lived out was passing by him in seconds, and he felt all of it, and it was overwhelming.

Then he found it.

The first thing he felt was desperation. He saw the juggernaut, the monster in front of Damian. He felt the desperation from the man as he fought for his life. He felt the pain as the big man grabbed his hand and began to crush it. He felt the agony that Damian felt.

He relived everything, all of it. He felt every emotion and saw every action. The lightsaber had seen so much anger and pain. He found himself feeling sorry for Damian, the man had been through so much and still maintained such a positive, cheery attitude.

Then his eyes snapped open.

"I... I'm so sorry. I know how it feels, I felt every single emotion that you felt Master. I felt the desperation, the pain, the fear of death"

He blinked.

"Who was that?"

Damian Starchaser

 

[Damian Starchaser]

“There is no need to apologize,” Damian said gently taking his saber out of the padawans hand. “All of that happened in the past, my past. I felt all those emotions, I felt fear and anger and pain yet here I am. Do you understand? I did not break, and neither will you.”

Putting a hand on the boys shoulder to reassure him he spoke, answering his question.“The man you saw was Kaine Zambrano, currently known as Darth Carnifex, Emperor of the Sith.”

Damian didn’t let silence linger. He didn’t want to answer any more questions on that subject, “You saw it through a unique skill. Force Echo or Psychometry. It’s a rare gift even among the Jedi. It allows you to see the past of an object. You were right in a way, about brushing with the darkside. I’ve read that some Jedi in olden days believed that skirting so close to these emotions and taking them in you left you vulnerable. Maybe, but no more vulnerable than I was in that moment I shared with you.”

Standing up and stretching out a little bit he looked back at the campsite. “I don’t have your ability. I can’t teach you first hand how to control it, but I can make educated guesses and give you advice on how to control and process your emotions.” He didn’t say suppress. “When you feel these things you don’t need to let them break you.”

Caden Evesa

 

[Caden Evesa]

Caden sat there.

Psychometry. It was something that he had never once heard of, but at least he wasn't going mad. There were people, from back in the old Jedi Order. Damian said he knew of Jedi, or had heard of Jedi with a similar power, although the ability to truly use it to it's full advantage was rare. It was a rare gift apparently, something many Jedi didn't have.

Something Damian didn't have.

As a consequence, and Master Starchaser admitted it himself, he wouldn't be able to teach Caden how to control the power, not properly. He could make educated guesses, but Damian couldn't ever teach him how to use it properly. That was something he would have to learn himself.

Damian also admitted that he was right about brushing with the darkside. That was something that he had realized, and he was glad that Master Starchaser had confirmed for him. The trick, Caden realized, would be to resist the temptations of the darkside to master the power.

"Thank you, Master. You've been a big help, and shown me the true horror of the Galaxy all in one day"

Damian Starchaser