Private In the pursuit of understanding

[Brynjar Threist]

Outfit: Hide trousers
Location: Islimore
Tags: Aelin Erevos

He had spent the past few days as a wolf, away from the other Lupos, and refusing to see Gerwald and Aelin after the duel. He hadn't even spoken to his parents about the incident, he was afraid of what they would say in that he didn't kill Gerwald, what would the repercussions of that decision and that the fact he suspected there would be two rivals for his claim potentially in Aelin and Gerwald now. However, Brynjar couldn't stress that over, the pressure of everything was getting too much for him. It was becoming unbearable and he felt more and more a puppet, especially since he was receiving no answer from the Gods either. Weren't they meant to respond, guide and help him through this? Show him some sign that he should continue the path or change course? Though he feared that the only other path would be to support Aelin to be Anasi, because he was strongly against Gerwald no matter what. His views had not been calmed or stilled by time, they were still as strong as they had ever been.

Coming out of his wolf form, he found a clearing and panted slight, he had been running for days now. His body was exhausted though his mind was still racing and pushing to go crazy with rage at everyone. Though at the same time, he knew that his issue was not at everyone. He slumped against a tree and found his mind thinking of the fight, was there anything he could have done differently? His mind wandered to the words that Aelin spoke about him, was that how everyone saw him? Had he been pushing everyone away? Brynjar knew it wasn't easy to get along with him, he was blunt and he spoke his mind but he also knew his flaws and assumed that everyone could see the person that was within. Not just the hard exterior that he has due to his parents. Had his past really made it impossible for everyone to see the man that was inside?

Brynjar sighed and felt his emotions bubbling to the surface again. He rose to his feet and face the tree, slamming his fists till they were bloody and sore. He then headbutted the tree and howled in frustration. He couldn't continue like this, he couldn't face everyone if they saw him the same way that Aelin did. It was even worse to hear Aelin say those words as well, Gerwald's words were nothing and meaningless to Brynjar and he could take them. But Aelin... There was something about her that drew him in and to hear that she thought he was rude and didn't care to understand others, it hurt him deeper than any cut he has received. He couldn't explain it but he also knew a little about it, he was attracted to Aelin but he also respected her and for her to see him that way meant that he was showing her that respect that she felt. Since the gathering he had been trying to demonstrate that he respected her as a fellow Alpha and person but he failed and failing at that was hard for him.

Standing around nude wasn't going to help anything though, for now, he needed to find his trousers and then decide how he wanted to do things. Shifting back into a wolf, he stretched his long body and grunted, shaking off the feelings as he strut his way back to his tent where he had been staying a little out of the way from others.

 

[Aelin Erevos]

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Appearance | XoXo
Location | Forest, Islimore
Tag | Brynjar Threist

"Hello, Brynjar," Aelin murmured, smiling, perched beneath one of the trees like a small Queen keeping court.

It'd taken some time and persistence to find him, having left the encampment a little under an hour ago. For as large a wolf as he was, he was surprisingly tricky to track down when he didn't want to be found. If she were a human, it would have been posed a greater issue; but as a Lupo, especially one of higher breeding, her acute sense of smell was fine-tuned to pick up the slack and once she'd caught his scent, it was only a matter of following it to its source.

Their last meeting had not gone well, largely due to the bad blood that seethed between him and Gerwald. Aelin hadn't told anyone that she was leaving to find Brynjar. Not out of a desire to be dishonest, but because she knew if she'd said anything that there would be an insistence on the others part to accompany her, and they would find themselves back at square one.

Brynjar would likely never return if she came with company, lest alone if she appeared with Gerwald at her side. She'd most certainly be turned away - or worse. Aelin saw the lethal glint in Brynjar's eyes that day... she knew a killer when she saw one.

Yet, despite the animosity, Aelin found that she could not dislike Brynjar. She'd been offended by his forward behavior and put off by some of his beliefs, but she could not say that she hated or disliked him. Disapproved of his manners, perhaps.

And maybe it was just her innocence and inexperience, but Aelin believed that there was more to Brynjar than what they saw on the surface. It was just hidden, wrapped in brambles and thorns. He was a troubled wolf, burdened with a weight that she thought she might understand in a limited degree. So while he grumbled and raved, Aelin believed he would not harm her nor turn her away.

At least, she hoped.

"I came alone, and told no one where I was going. I just wish to speak with you."

 

[Brynjar Threist]

Outfit: Hide trousers
Location: Islimore
Tags: Aelin Erevos

He heard Aelin call out to him, she was perched in the trees, it was clear that he was overwhelmed and emotional since he didn't even sense her on his trek back to his camp. She was waiting for him, expecting him to return. While he was still a wolf, he huffed and snorted at her greeting as he walked into the tent and transformed back into his human form. Dressing in the hide trousers, Brynjar thought about why she was here. What was she expecting to gain from coming to him, talking to him alone? Did she think that she could convince that everyone else would accept me now? He hit her, he hated that he did that but he couldn't have prevented it bar limiting the damage that he did to her. He stepped out of the tent and ignited his campfire, grabbing a heavy stew pot as he carried it over to the campfire.

"If you come to talk, sit. I am making a stew. Welcome to have some." Brynjar stated in a firm tone. Pouring water into the pot and letting it reach boiling as he looked at her. Sniffing around, he could confirm that no one else was around. It was unusual to see Aelin alone, since he met her, she never needed a bodyguard but she was always around other people. It was what made talking to her most intimidating. How do you try to earnestly court a woman surrounded by others? "I am surprised that the others did not rush to join you. I must be some kind of monster since I hit you and Gerwald likely warning them that I will be our people's doom." There was no sneer or rudeness, just pain at the fact he was an outsider.

Using the Force, he pulled a knife into his hand and started cutting some vegetables, adding them into the pot as he went about his cooking. Having to survive and being an Alpha, he always felt the need to know how to provide and cook for the Clan is important. He had a few game animals he had hunted and skinned ready to be cut and added to the stew. Looking at Aelin, he sighed, "I won't apologise to Gerwald. He deserved every word and worst. Directions he wants to take us is not a good path for our people." Using the Force, he stirred the soup and gave it a sniff to see what herbs and spices he needed to add. "I didn't want to strike you. I never want to harm our people."

Cutting the meat and adding the spices, Brynjar knew it would take awhile to finally cook everything and flavours reach maximum potential. "I might not be the best guy to follow or easiest to get along with, I am not going around insulting everyone and saying it is my way and only my way that will save us." Brynjar needed to get this off his chest as he continued to use the Force and stir the pot. "Sorry. I just... Talking and arguing. It was more my mother's skill than my own."

 

[Aelin Erevos]

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Appearance | XoXo
Location | Brynjar's Camp, Islimore
Tag | Brynjar Threist

Aelin watched as Brynjar emerged back in human form, assembling together items for cooking. Jumping from where she'd perched, the tree branch creaked and the leaves rustled in her flurry of absence. Aelin approached the preparation table and reached for one of the knives. "Would you like some help? I'd rather make myself useful if I can... if you'll humor me." she murmured, before cutting into the meat.

"Before the Drage clan took me in, I had to do all of the hunting and cooking for myself and my father. I get anxious sitting on the sidelines while others work." Aelin mentioned casually, her patrician features giving nothing away of the difficulties that lay dormant in her past, save the briefest flicker in her gaze that bespoke of a Lupo youth who'd battled and frothed for most of her life, clawing for survival. An exhausted, yet driven daughter. Protector and avenger of her clan.

"You know, it wasn't until I was taken to Bellassa that I had something other than rabbit or fish. There aren't many animals that can thrive on Seoul 5, since the weather there can be so unpredictable. But even compared to Bellassa..." Aelin inhaled, carefully separating the skin from the beast, blood running between her fingers and down her arms. "this world teems with more life than I know what to do with. So far, I think venison is my favorite. I'll have to prepare it for you sometime, as a thank you for sharing this meal with me." She smiled, but kept her gaze on her work. "What kind of animal is this, anyway? I don't think I've encountered it before."

Aelin knew the cordiality wouldn't last long, that the shift in conversation was coming, but it felt nice to try and have a normal conversation with someone that didn't involve mentions of the Fayth, ruling, or anything else to do with the nature of clans.

She continued to work the knife as the topic inevitably shifted, pulling in a quick breath. "I insisted on being alone," she gave, following an exhausted sigh. Months with the Drage clan had tempered her tongue and helped her better adapt to pack life. Yet, being constantly surrounded, there were times Aelin craved solitude, finally understanding why Børre Drage had kept his own spot in the mountains to get away from it all. Why it was necessary.

Unconsciously, delicate fingers brushed along the yellowing bruise on the side of her face, remembering the incident as it was brought up. "Do you think that is the first time I've ever been hit? Don't worry. Besides, I was the one who intervened," Aelin averred, giving a shake of her russet curls. "I know you didn't mean to strike me, and I didn't come here to waste my time to try and convince you to apologize. That'd be a fools endeavor. Just as I'm certain it would be pointless to ask the same of Gerwald." It was clear that both wolves cared for the Lupo in their own ways, but Aelin knew now that no amount of words could convince either of them of that. "All I ask is that the two of you would try and see the others point of view. You may yet find yourselves to be allies... you each value respect and feel deeply. If the two of you could both quit grumping, growling, and insulting each other, then you might see that there is more in common there than you realize."

She raised a pert brow at him, the curve of her rosebud lips lifting softly. "But, honestly, I just came here to talk. To get to know you better." she motioned to the meat that she'd carefully cut. "Should I add this now, or wait?"

 

[Brynjar Threist]

Outfit: Hide trousers
Location: Islimore
Tags: Aelin Erevos

He watched as Aelin approached him and came in close to deal with the meat. It seemed that she wasn't comfortable with someone taking care of her, possibly use to having to do care for herself. It was something that Brynjar related to, he had to survive, even with his parents being healthy and loving him, he needed to fend for himself and ensure that his meals were prepared correctly. "An Alpha should know how to provide and care for their clan. It was something that my parents instilled into me. A leader needs to care and provide comfort." Brynjar stated as he checked the vegetables as they stewed and listened to Aelin.

It sounded like Aelin's upbringing wasn't easy one which was surprising. She rarely carried herself with the burden of turmoil and hardship, though Brynjar had some inclination that she didn't grow up the best with the fact that Miera was separated from her. "I had to hunt and cook for myself from a young age too. A wolf who cannot hunt is a wolf who cannot lead. That's what my parents believed." Brynjar wasn't sure it was true himself though every Lupo he met was a capable hunter, even Gerwald though it was clear Gerwald was not completely use to his wolf. "Understandable to be anxious, but it is also okay to allow others to take care of you. Likely my biggest issue in finding a mate, not one for being cared for." Brynjar offered a small chuckle and smile. Small talk was never a skill he cared about, it was tricky and he always stumbled his words but the setting and low stress seemed to help with his stumbling.

"Rabbit is a good animal for stews, though they can be tricky to catch since they run so fast. Birds were always my least favourite animal to hunt, so much feather and bone, so little meat." Aelin was skinning the beast and there was blood running down her arms, some primal attraction hit Brynjar hard in the chest, he wasn't sure what to say or do as he felt his body get hot and cheeks flushed. He quickly excused himself as she cut at the beast and fetched a bowl of water. Splashing some water over his face to cool down and tell himself off for getting so flustered. He headed back with the bowl of water set aside so that Aelin could wash herself once she finished cutting the beast. "Some kind of boar I believe. Tricky to kill with its tusks, but prey that is as deadly as the predator can be more exciting and delicious. Feels earned more than deer or rabbit can. Though sometimes any meat is a meal earned." Brynjar heard the offer of a meal cooked by Aelin and coughed, was it a date? No. This wasn't one so why would that meal be one, right? "Oh. Uh, sure. Venison sounds good. Deer around here have gotten fat due to a lack of Lupo hunting them." Brynjar smiled.

The topic shifted and he could see that Aelin wasn't exactly thrilled to talk about the issues, but it was also necessary. "I bet they weren't thrilled to let you do that. Given that they tend to see me as a wild animal." Brynjar knew he shouldn't care what others thought of him, his parents told him that if he wanted to be Anasi then he needed to be stronger mentally and ignore the views of others but he couldn't help but want some acceptance, some understanding from others. "Might not have been the first time. Not the strongest hit I have done to a person. Doesn't mean I am not sorry and that I owe you an apology for it. I am sorry that I cannot heal it either, my mother knew of some technique to heal a person but I never was able to understand it myself when she described it."

"I know when I am being stubborn and when I need to accept I am in the wrong. This isn't one of them. I could have respected, even admired Gerwald, like I do many of our people. But he entered our group, insulted me, my family, our traditions then expected me to thank him and worship him as the Gods' gift to our people." Brynjar spat on the ground away from Aelin, "I refuse to stand around and accept being treated with no respect and have someone demand it. I can't get along with him till he learns to get over himself and apologise. But he needs to because he started this." Brynjar was firm on that matter, it didn't matter if Brynjar stopped the insults or aggressive attitude, the words and actions of Gerwald would linger in his mind and he would never be able to accept the Lupo as anything but arrogant scum who has a superiority complex. Which wasn't how Brynjar wanted to see people, he knew they needed to band together against bigger threats.

Nodding his head, he let Aelin add the meat then used the Force to stir the pot. "I didn't think you would be that interested in knowing me after my actions at the Summerlight Gathering." Brynjar coughed as the words spilled out of his mouth without thinking, he felt another blush and groaned, "I am sorry. The stress from my family to find a mate during the event was intense and I pushed that on you." Brynjar realised he hadn't said that to Aelin since the event and felt stupid for not apologising sooner, preaching about wanting an apology for Gerwald and he hadn't given his own for his disrespectful actions. His eyes didn't meet hers as he stared at the stew, standing opposite her, breathing slowly.

"So. Uh. What did you want to know about me?" Brynjar asked after awhile in his own thoughts.

 

[Aelin Erevos]

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Appearance | XoXo
Location | Brynjar's Campsite
Tag | Brynjar Threist

"I suppose I can see the sense in your parent’s beliefs. An Alpha who cannot provide for their pack would seem strange; and you're right, I suppose. I should get used to the idea of accepting help. That is one of the benefits of having a Pack, isn't it? Help when you need it?" she hummed thoughtfully, "I can’t deny that there is value in being able to rely on others for assistance."

Aelin grew quiet again, listening as Brynjar spoke, triggering memories from when she'd been on her own and the pitless hunger that often clawed at her stomach. The last time she'd had rabbit, it'd been an effort not to devour every scrap after weeks of living off of berries and insects. With a soft grunt, she shoved the knife through the thickest layer of fat and sliced into the flesh, adding the last bits to the stew, inhaling the aromatic scent of hot meat and herbs filling the air. The smells were mouth watering.

"I bet they weren't thrilled to let you do that. Given that they tend to see me as a wild animal." Brynjar stated plainly.

There was a tension in her posture that was most definitely a result of the way he bulldozed through the sequence of events that'd lead him to leave the safety of the encampment. "I don't know," Aelin shrugged, trying to assert that same casual tone from before. "I didn't bother to tell them." she arched a pert brow at him, and placed a dainty hand in one of the towels, wiping her fingers that were still slick with blood, her noble features setting themselves in a refined line as a soft smirk curled over her lips. "I've never required permission to do anything in my life, and woe be to the wolf who tries to tell me otherwise."

Brynjar’s insistence to apologize for the bruise was… interesting, contradicting the brute persona he’d crafted for himself over these last few months; although, it was not the first time he’d attempted to show her tenderness, recalling the concern he’d conveyed when he thought she might be wounded, back when they were still looking for Meira. Aelin supposed it was to be expected, given his courtly pedigree and pure breeding. “I do appreciate your apology, Brynjar. Thank you. Consider it forgotten.”

There was no pause in conversation to gain her bearings, with Bryjnar seeming adamant to get down to the brass tacks on the matter concerning Gerwald. Somehow she'd known that he would not only ignore her exhortation, but zealously jeer at it. "Then the two of you must learn to keep this quietly between yourselves," she stated firmly, an inhuman growl crawling up her throat. "Stability within the clans is precarious as it is, and I can't have the two of you at eachothers throats. The fact of it is, is that we need both of you."

"We have more farmers than we do warriors and many of them have never held a weapon in their lives. Gerwald was the military leader for one of the Galaxies biggest governments. He knows how to lead and we need his experience to make sure our clans survive into the next generation. If we devolve into infighting, then we may be gone before we ever see another century, and there will come a time when there's nothing left to fight over."

There was no malice or derision in her tone, her posture melting into one that was deliberate and respectful, to show that she understood the enormity of what she was asking. This wasn't about who was right or wrong, it was about preventing the bloodletting from destroying the Lupo people. It was about survival—for everyone. The alternative was far too horrible to contemplate.

The silence stretched between them until finally, Brynjar cleared his throat and she found herself quietly listening once again. "I didn't think you would be that interested in knowing me after my actions at the Summerlight Gathering." Brynjar coughed as the words spilled out of his mouth without thinking, followed by a soft blush and groan, "I am sorry. The stress from my family to find a mate during the event was intense and I shouldn't have pushed that on you." She watched the muscles of his jaw work and could almost hear his thoughts whirring through his mind, studying the nervous way his hands wrangled with each other and the way his brows furrowed when he frowned, how his shoulders seemed to slump forward when he spoke with such sincerity. Her heart ached just slightly, seeing all of that vulnerability laid bare.

"It's fine," she said softly. "But thank you for explaining this to me. I understand now why you did what you did. I'm sure it is difficult... trying to live up to everyone else's expectations of you." His eyes didn't meet hers as he stared at the stew, standing opposite her, breathing slowly. "So. Uh. What did you want to know about me?" Brynjar asked after a while.

She shrugged lightly, "What do you like doing? Your favorite things, hobbies..." She trailed off, "About your family, maybe? Or how you got those scars? What is it that makes Brynjar tick?"

 

[Brynjar Threist]

Outfit: Hide trousers
Location: Islimore
Tags: Aelin Erevos

"It is hard to accept help when you have had to do everything yourself. When you have had to fight for survival, allowing others to take over, it feels like you are losing control. Weakening yourself to depend on someone who might not be as capable as you are. However, you seem to be getting a better handle on it than I am. You let us help you find Miera, tried to do it on your own but allowed us to join. You also gotten along well with members of Clan Drage as well if I remember right. So, there is that too." Brynjar tried to show that he saw Aelin as doing better at this all than he could. "And, you are not the one out living on their own because the rest of group is more comfortable them not being around."

Reaching into a pouch he pulled a large handful of pepper and sprinkled it all over the stew, giving the stew something for a kick, fiery punch that gave the stew some depth. At least that was how he felt it was like. Turning it a few more times so the stew didn't catch at the bottom and burn. He looked over to Aelin, she was explaining that she never told them and letting him not that no wolf would be able to stop her. "Hmph. Sure whoever you chose as your mate will be kept on their toes with you. Though, a lucky man to capture your heart likely shown their worthiness and devotion to you." Brynjar didn't want to think about Aelin finding a mate too much, mostly because the more he thought, the more he feared it would very much not be him. "Plenty of men to choose from and plenty of time to figure it all out too." Brynjar offered some comfort since he knew there were pressures on the women to mate as much as possible.

Brynjar was relieved to hear that she was accepting his apology. Brynjar had never intended to show off a brutish personality, he was just aggressive in his thinking and strong willed at times that made him stubborn and standoffish. He mostly wanted to be seen as dependable, loyal and caring, but it was hard when he also needed to show that he was strong enough to defeat any challenges should he claim the right to be Anasi. Then Aelin mentioned that he needed to sort things out with Gerwald, that it needed to be done peacefully and they couldn't start infighting and destroying each other. Brynjar heard her growl and shook his head. "You come here, wanting me to make the first move. Is it because you think I am the one who needs to do it or because you know Gerwald is more unlikely to listen to you and bend to your wants? It isn't just the way he acts and behaves towards me that is the issue here. You think he is a great military leader, what leader insults, degrades his people openly? He treated Declan like a dog, a pet, on Coruscant. It affected the man, yet you act like we should believe Gerwald when he says that he was a great leader before. First thing, he led humans and secondly, we have no evidence to suggest that Gerwald was capable in any such way as a leader. All we have is his word and for me, coming from a man willing to degrade others like the way he did Declan. That word means nothing."

Brynjar was standing now, recalling the events on Coruscant, it angered Brynjar. Gerwald used his weird light swords to threaten both himself and Declan because he felt they were overstepping. It had been a frustrating time, but it was in the past. Brynjar let out a huffed breath and wandered to his tent and grabbed two wooden bowls with spoons. He poured the stew into one bowl and handed it over to Aelin. Looking at her, he sighed, "I don't want to fight. I don't want to kill Lupo, I want us to all get along. However, you might get along with Gerwald and that's great but he has caused more issues with others that I am not happy with. He talked to Declan in the way that the Fayth always frames us: as animals, lesser beings. And if that is the way he sees us then he will never be the right person to train us."

It was the last Brynjar wanted to say on the matter, he was fed up of it all and wished there could be an easier way to sort it all out. He poured his own bowl of stew as he heard Aelin accept his apology over the Summerlight Gathering, it was a relief. "Aye, pressures to keep the clan name alive, to produce Kaiha heirs so that our clan isn't lost. Not easy. But I am sure you feel similar pressures from everyone, wanting you to find a mate early on so you can start bringing in the next generation. It is frustrating that we are focusing on having children so much that the women aren't always able to be the warriors they can be. Some of the greatest warriors of my clan were female but now there would be strict focus on raising children, taking away their chances to fight."

When Aelin mentioned a few things that Brynjar could talk about, he figured he should answer all the questions. "I like to hunt, cook. Fighting is something that I am good at, something that my father ensured I was very capable at. Exploring Islimore, that has been nice. Been looking at the maps and such, there is a lot outside the woodlands that should hold some beautiful sights. Most of things I do or learnt to do was all based around being a leader though. My parents were singly focused, driven to ensure I could become Alpha and more if necessary." Touching his scars, he looked at her, "from my parents. My father began teaching me how to fight from the moment I could walk and hold an axe. Every fight we had was basically to the death. Looking back, unlikely he would have killed me, but he came close. Very close a number of times and why I have so many scars. I wasn't a good fighter for most of my life, but I learnt, adapted, survived."

Brynjar paused, what made him tick? What did make him tick....? "I..." He paused and tilted his head as he looked at her, "I don't know what makes me tick, do you know what makes you tick?" Brynjar asked in all earnestly, hoping she had an answer so that it could twig an answer from him.