In The Darkest Heart...

[Connor Harrison]

Silver Shadow Headquarters
The Dark Heart, Voss

Nobody had contacted him.

Nobody stood in his way.

Nobody shouted him down.

As it was when he left Voss, bar the violence from the Grandmaster as a parting gift, Connor found it just as easy to return a few days later. Maybe the Grandmaster’s word was as empty as his promise to look out for Connor, or maybe, and far more likely, the Rangers had flagged up Connor’s ship entering the system and heading for the outskirts of the temple grounds.

He wouldn’t have long, but he wouldn’t need it.

The Dark Heart ruin, located in the Nightmare Lands of Voss, housed the Silver Shadow command post and headquarters. It was there, a world away from the Order, that specially selected Silver Jedi trained to be spies and assassins – doing the job a Jedi dare not to for the greater good.

In other words, a top secret team that Connor had recently re-formed and housed all information on. Homeworlds. Cover names. Abilities. The lot. Now it was time to take back the information he created and pick them off one by one to join him away from the Light. And if they were sent out here, now, to stop him, then he’d have to end their time with the Order with permanent retirement.

His ship lay in the overgrowth and after a few careful steps through the area and into the ruins, he was even more amused to find his access code still working. The lights came on dimly to illuminate the way down through another security door, and down into the depths of the hub.

A stealth jet was primed for immediate take of in case of a real emergency, and various monitors and maps of the system kicked into operation as his feet clanked down the metal stairway. It was chilly, and silent. He passed a display cabinet showing off a vintage piece of Shadow armour and old lightsaber hilt.

Connor moved to the central command post, surrounded by a wealth of information he had to tap into and find.

After this, his ties to the Silver Jedi would be well and truly cut with him holding the ace card.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

It was like so many times before. That sickening sensation through the force that told her that one had fallen, Connor Harrison had fallen again. This time he had slipped through the cracks and beyond into the darkness. Before, he had seen it, felt it and knew the dangers, the corruption that eroded the mind and body and spirit, he had experienced it all and told them how he grew from it and learned. At least that is what he had led them to believe.

Thurion and Coci, had placed their faith in the man, their friend, to lead the Silver Shadows and train them against such dangers so to make them stronger against it. Make them more shielded against the constant attack from the darkside that everyday eats at the fortitude of Jedi. He had said he would do all he could, to serve to protect them and the Order, vowed it. At least that is what he had led them to believe.

Oath breaker.

And so the trap was laid. The Shadows had been monitoring his movements within Silver Protected Space, he had not left it. The reasons his own no doubt and curious as it was, it mattered little to her. Connor Harrison, her friend for so many years, who had gone through so much with them both, had threatened Thurion with killing her and their children, had disobeyed orders to take Charzon to prison but instead killed her on Korriban.

Traitor.

Through all of this, from the very beginning, had he once come to them asking for guidance? To ask for help in a time of need when darkness and shadows clouded his mind? When in times of such great sadness, did he seek them out to comfort and be comforted? Not once. What he had done was leave and each time he returned they welcomed him back. Not this time.

The database of the Dark Heart and the classified information within it, had been corrupted, and the information transferred to the Temple in an emergency, Connor’s downfall had compromised them all, but she had left enough files to complete the ruse, even adding more to whet the appetite of any would be spy, all nonsense of course. Nothing had been disturbed, all systems functioning as it would be and he would at least from the start know no difference. It would not come to that anyway.

The clinking of boots on the metal platform echoed through the tunnels, he is not hiding himself a bold move by all accounts that also did not matter. She sensed her friend before he entered the place. The darkside is not unknown here, not unknown to her.

“You are a bold one”, she said immerging from the Shadows.

​

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

She was here. Doing what she was so good at. Lurking in the shadows – how very apt.

He began to access the database he needed, which was alarmingly still open, which meant this was all old data or simply encrypted which would leave him with nothing. It was worth a try. Connor stood over the monitors, the faint blue reflecting on his face in the dimly lit quarters.

”Oh, how very dramatic," he said, drily, not even looking up. "This isn’t being bold, this is being realistic."

Swiping through a number of faces, none of the names matched. And it was old. Chastity Lunelle was still on here, but not Aria. Pursing his lips and scoffing in mild amusement, he drummed his fingers on the desktop and felt the walls close in. So typical of the Order. So typical to be deceitful and manipulative.

"Very good." He looked up at her, and it was like seeing the old Coci again. The warrior. The fighter. Not the watered down wife or mother. "Come to bend my ear on how you can help me? Or come to apologise for your rather aggressive husband striking me. You need to watch that man. He’s not as stable as you think."

He stayed still, keeping her in front and not moving away.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

She doubted Connor had any real grip on reality, simply because he had come back to this place. Surely he knew she would not leave it open and exposed after he left so unceremoniously to put it nicely. And why was he here, the database would not have changed so much as this in two days, what was he truly after? He was predicable, in his constant battle within the force, he had become so. And of course, past behaviour .. Connor was a creature of habit.

"It is a wonder he didn't .. snap your neck", she shot back at him with no inflection in her voice, it would remain calm which is never a good sign in her, it bodes ill. She knew Thurion would never had such a thing, but that was not the point of comment. She had placed her hands behind her back, in one of them a device. Her finger triggered the button and around the room all the doors suddenly slammed shut. Locked.

"No I have not come to bend your ear. I will not waste my breath". She threw the device to the floor, they are both locked in together. The doors will only open by the Shadows that now stand outside the room and await her command. "Reverse the situation, you are married with children and someone you once thought was a good friend threatens the lives of your wife and children .. what would you do? give him a hand shake?", she was cutting and would make no apology for it.

"But of course you don't understand. You don't have a wife or child, how could you possibly know". And he would not, no one does unless they have beloveds and once threatened forgiveness is all but impossible.

​

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

At the sound of the doors slamming down shut, Connor looked around to see where the cavalry would spring from. But…nothing. Just silence in the locked-down chamber but for Coci’s ice-cold commentary.

"Of course I couldn’t understand," he called out to her, "how could I? You were the only family I had. And when the high-and-mighty leader continues to do nothing but preach to me about how I’ve failed, what else could I understand? It just proved he’s as infallible as I thought."

He looked back down the monitor, shaking his head and seeing it had been a wonderful ruse. A frustrated groan left his lips.

"As if I’d hurt your children. I’m not a monster. I just wanted a reaction. He gave one. He gave me the push I needed. It was too late to come crawling back so I had to have him push me out."

Leaning forward, he rested his hands on the top of the monitor and closed his eyes, composing himself. Droplets of water could be heard overheard in the silence dripping down to the ground; moisture coming through the earth above them.

"All I ever wanted was to love her and she to love me back. That was all I asked. That was it. Years of serving the Light, and you, and that’s all I wanted. One little token of personal joy. Was it too much to ask?"

He shot up to see Coci still standing there, eyes fixed on him. He looked right at her, into her very soul behind her cold eyes.

"I dare not ask how you’d fare should your love be ripped away from you and you’re left alone. That’s something YOU will never understand."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

Connor was irrational. She doubted that he realised this, the words tumbling out of his mouth proved her thoughts. "Are you even contemplating what you are saying?", she asked him abruptly. "In one breath you say we were your family, the next you say you only threatened Thurion with our deaths just to get a reaction?", this was incredulous. "If this is not monstrous I don't know what is".

Coci moved slightly toward him, but still remained in a distance that would not cause concern or give threat. "When are you going to grow up Connor. When are you going to take responsibility for your own actions, your own decisions .. when are you going to grow up and own them yourself. To use Thurion like that is unforgivable .. why didn't you just leave like you did before?".

He speaks of love, of someone Coci knew all to well and even now he still holds feelings for her. "Corvus? after all this time", she understood this, as love .. true love does not stop. "No you have a right to love as much as anyone and I am not going to pat you on the back and say everything will work out. I don't have the ability to look into the future. However, don't assume that I don't understand for I know exactly what would happen to me if the worse was to come to pass .. but I don't fear it .. I would welcome it". She refers to their love, and bond. A force bond stronger then anything in the galaxy and not many, if any, survive a sudden sever of that bond through death. There has only been one case of it that she knows of and that Jedi all but died.

"What made you defy orders? What made you take it upon yourself to kill the woman Thurion did not ask you to do it so you can't blame him for it .. come on Connor own it".

​

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

He hated being made to feel like a child, but it was clear that's all he was to the eyes of many now. And he knew it. Even Matsu Xiangu had lambasted him on it. People from both sides of the Force had all said the same thing - he was one big contradiction and one big joke to himself and the Force.

"Because none of you idiots would do what was RIGHT!" He snapped his head up to look at her. "Do you know how long it took you all to come to actually getting her in the dock? In that time I had flown around half the galaxy trying to stop people from coming to destroy us in retaliation. And while you two were locked up in bed together or off to Midvinter or whatever you were doing, I was getting beaten by Mandalorians and I made Sith flesh burn to protect us. I did that. Me. Not you, or him. You call yourselves leaders? You are not."

Connor moved away from the monitors, leaving the flashes of faces in the Shadows playing in a loop. The light from above illuminated him a little better now.

"Snapping her neck was easy, and leaving her for the Sith was easier. Have we heard anything since? Yes, from the Mandos because they know we are weak under Thurion's leadership, and it's only a matter of time before this Order we built collapses, and it pains me to see you so blind to it. Blinded by love."

He scoffed.

"Maybe it's a good job I haven't found love, because it's nothing but blinding."

Glancing around at the doors, and the consoles, and the mighty ship up in the corner, he flexed his hands.

"So, Master Heavenshield, what do you intend to do now? Bring me in for questioning? Beat me into submission? Be beaten into submission yourself?"

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

It was clear there was no way to reason with Connor, no way reach out to him, his mind had become too clouded by this sickness of darkside. This crude words confirmed this to her, and they did little to effect her. I was also clear that he never did understand the meaning of what it is to be Jedi, there are no performance indicators to reach, no job description to adhere to, only the selflessness in duty that all Jedi try to obtain.

They do not want for glorification, the pat on the back, or golden hand shake. He wanted recognition for something that most Jedi simply do without any thought of all that. He is at his lowest and diving head long into a world in which he will not be strong enough to pull back from. He has the taste of the darkness, thinking it the right way .. some think this but deny the fact of what the darkside is truly doing to them. Blind he says, there is no one blinder then a darksider.

He edges away from the console, nothing standing between except a marginal distance, not that she required any closeness. There would be no escape. She answered his question however, what did she intend to do now? "No, I am going to kill you", as cold as ice. Jedi that fall loose their sense of self, Connor has left his identity behind him and taken on another, one that is no friend, no one that she recognises any more and in order to save him from doing harm to others and to himself, she will do what she must.

Both arms lifted from her side, palms facing him and drawing on the force pulling the lightside to her, she sent a wall of light directly at him. Powerful it would be, she had the ability learned over several years now and the purity of the lightside would hit him square in the chest and engulf his body. Burning the darkness from him. Coci continued to funnel the source of white, forming a conduit which used her body and into his. She would not let go connection until his connection to the force was all but spent. This ability takes much energy from her, as it would from any Jedi Master but her determination would see it through. Only the smallest of a spark of the force would be allowed to remain, that small piece of the lightside she knew was still in his core somewhere, would only remain.

She is killing him, so he can live.

​

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

If he knew Coci, she'd try to restrain him at the very least and bring him in for that old interrogation, rehab, mind-cleansing Silver Jedi course of action he'd seen over the years. The Shadows would feel important bringing him in of course, but they'd do their best.

But, in the grand scheme of things, her icy threat signalled his feelings were right - she was as much a deceitful Jedi as Thurion and the rest. When one came forward presenting a new spin on things they didn't understand and feared, they would kill. Connor was to be killed? Hardly. It was the answer he wanted anyway, and the perfect chance to send her head back to Thurion as a clear message not to mess with Connor Harrison. This was going to be enjoyable.

With a devilish grin to welcome bloodshed, Connor bolted from his stance towards her along the walkway, powerful legs thundering across and fists clenched, eyes set for the kill...but he didn't get far.

In the few seconds, Connor Harrison died.

He was blinded at first by the flash, and struck in the chest a second later, but there was no graceful spin back or crash to the ground. No. Instead, he was surrounded in a bright, almost brain-piercing light that held his body upright and sent shock-waves across every nerve from his head to his toes. Paralysis set it, and he gave a silent scream, eyes open wide as the body was shocked into submission for what felt like forever. His body convulsed, limbs spasming until the noise stopped and light rescinded.

In the next few seconds, Connor Harrison's body dropped to floor in a heavy heap.

No shackles...

Blue eyes opened.

Every muscle ached - by the Force did he ache!

So tired, and it took all his strength to move his hands across the metal grating to push himself up. Coci was still standing there, the stupid woman - he was still living and breathing. Connor wearily sneered at her, but the sneer started to dissolve as the brow furrowed. Something was wrong. Connor felt...deaf. He felt...blind. He felt...weak. All he could see was the dark surroundings and the woman before him, and all he could hear was the dripping of water and his breathing.

Shaky on his feet, Connor stood up, hand shooting out to the railing and that feeling surged up from his stomach as if he had stood up far too fast. He wretched, the pain hitting him in the gut, and doubled over as he was sick. The horrid vomiting that burns the throat and leave you gasping for a breath. Covered in cold sweat, Connor felt his body reacting to whatever she had done.

"Whatever that was, you should have finished me. The true colours shine from your rotten soul."

Time for the retaliation. He gripped the railing and shot out with his right hand to lock around her throat with the Force. He didn't feel that sensation, or nor did she react at all. He tried again, this time with both hands with an aggressive burst of energy. Nothing. Just aching arms.

Searching his palms for an answer, Connor started to panic and become horrified at this...this...feeling he had never felt before. Looking at her, he spoke and tried to find what she had done with his mind.

"What have you done?" Nothing - he was just looking at her cold face. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!"

Connor looked like a man possessed. He was trembling with anger. He snatched the lightsber hilt from his side and ignited the bright blue blade with a snap-hiss, but even doing that, it felt clumsy and heavy in both hands. He stared at the blade and it dawned on him just what that wall of light had been.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

She took no joy in this, what she had to do to save him, knowing he would never see it that way, never. But Coci knew she was right, especially when he came at her with death in his eyes, only moments before this he had assured her he would never do such a monstrous thing as kill his best friend's wife. And what of their friendship? She had been close to Connor as well, save him once before from the same fate and took on the evil presence for herself. Had they all forgotten that? She had once been described as simply a good Jedi, good Jedi don't do this, don't take the hard decision and see it though, great Jedi do that. She could not have let him go, he would have killed her, killed the Shadows and gone and killed more, Coci simply could not allow that to happen. It was duty to the innocent and others he would have corrupted.

She took no joy in watching him feeble and weak, suffering with pain and when the realisation dawned on him, she took no joy in his loss. Coci stood with building anger toward him, hating him for what he had made her do to him, selfish as that might be in this moment, the pain she inflected would have a bitter sweet resolve. He would hate her in return, she could see it in his eyes, and would probably do so forever. But if hope that she holds in her heart for him prevails and that small hope she left hidden in his core comes to be found, he might understand one day. She could only hope.

"You were suppose to be our protector, our guardian against the darkness, not join it. Not join them", tears grew in the corners of her black set eyes. "You were our friend, our beloved brother and we loved you". There was no need to answer his question, he knows what she had done. He was for power he only believes he can find in the darkness, does he now realise what power he could find in the light? Did she not show him this? She could only hope.

Coci had very little strength in her, she felt drained but the situation delivered her a purpose to defend further if needed. Her raised ripped from his grasp his lightsabe and as it hit her the palm of her hand the doors opened and the Shadows arrived, her order had been sent though the force. "I could have you detained, but that is not my purpose here. You will be escorted to your ship and you are to leave Voss". She held the hilt of his saber up, "This is the blade of a Jedi, one that serves the light and you have no need for it. The day you find your way back to us, I shall return it to you".

The Silver Shadows moved in around him, ready to complete orders and with a nod of her head they would do just that and return Connor to his ship.

​

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qemb3iBlp1o&index=19&list=PL5vCfZPymNGkVxvnPGmreqgUO0i8e1zZa

Connor's face fell and the corners of his blue eyes sank a little as his hands trembled. The lightsaber was cumbersome and it felt unnatural in his grip, and even he knew he couldn’t wield it anymore. It was like the Republic all over again. It was exactly the same – robbed of the Force; robbed of his power.

The blade extinguished and his arms dropped, looking at the void from Coci to where he stood. It was like a chasm. Never before had he felt so naked, so exposed and so weak. Even in the darkest moments when he had stood alone on a rainy plateau or watched allies fall, he had at least felt comfort from the Force around him.

Now, Connor stood uneasy on the walkway, like a frail and wounded soldier.

Monsters didn’t have hearts. They were devoid of emotion, and of feeling. He was told that by his mother, on Anaxes, a lifetime ago. Monsters were cruel, evil beasts who didn’t care for others – they only cared for themselves and they were not to be trusted, not to be looked upon and not to be befriended. They were to be slain, locked away and banished.

Connor Harrison wasn’t a monster. He was a man, a man who had it all once. He had friends. He had purpose. He had family. Coci’s words struck harder than the sharpest knife in his heart, and it didn’t take long for his wall to break; the wall of Light shattered, and he began to cry, holding it back as best he could through the anger and sadness he felt. Anger. Sadness. Hatred.

He knew the wounded tear duct would weep blood, but he didn’t care. Months of pain were coming out. His face was streaked with water and crimson – life and death.

Now and then, he shook his head in denial, as if he had suddenly forgot what he had been to Coci and to the others. For over a decade he had battled personal demons as well as public ones. He’d cast out evil to protect the good of the galaxy, and they had loved him for it. They had cared for him and looked after him.

What was happening? Where were his family? Where was his mother and father when he needed them right now to say he’d be ok, if he just came home, he’d be ok. Where were his friends? The ones he wanted to help – where was Aria? Where had she gone? To greater things. And Kyra? She didn’t want to know him anymore.

Corvus would be so ashamed of him. She would detest him. DETEST him. He bit down on his lip hard and twisted his head, a low growl coming out as the tears seemed to dry on his face, painting an un-godly looking pattern on his face like a mutation happening before Coci’s eyes. And in everything else, all he wanted now more than anything was for Irajah Ven to tell him it was alright, and that he had done the right think. To treat him like…like a person? Not a Jedi, or a Sith, or a warrior, but a person? He pictured her smile in his mind’s eye and it hurt knowing he may never see her again.

He had failed in both the Light and the Dark. He had failed to convince Taeli Raaf of his intension to fight the good fight, and now he had failed the Sorceress Matsu Xiangu. She’d cast him away, for he was no use to her like this.

Coci stepped forward, and in fear, Connor stepped back.

Coci. She detested him more than anyone. She had finally reduced him to a fate worse than death. The years of not trusting him were now silenced, and she had ripped the beating heart from his chest without laying a finger on his body.

It was then the anger bubbled up, over-taking the loss of what he thought he had. He had no family. They were dead. He had no friends. They were dead. He had nothing left. Connor Harrison had been killed by the ones who said they loved him. For years fighting for them, they turn the blade back on him when they can’t control him anymore.

Without warning, the saber hilt left his grip and fell into Coci’s. Connor gasped in disbelief, and helplessness. First the Force, and now the Skywalker hilt. The hilt that had defied Jedi Orders and Empires and passed through countless legendary hands to arrive in his, now stolen from his own grasp by the Jedi once again.

"No…" came his cracked plea, as the doors opened behind them both, "…no not this."

He hurried forward to her, to take back what was rightfully his, but two masked Shadows stepped before her. Connor was deemed so little a threat, the once great Jedi Master and Harbinger of the Silver Shadows, that they were unarmed and in small numbers.

Connor snarled and pushed out his hand, palm up to blast them with a violent force of energy, but all he was doing was stretching a tired arm, and in turn gave the Shadows a grip to take, and twist behind his back. He yelped and summoned all his strength, but he was literally weaker than ever and nothing he did stopped them restraining him. Two Shadows held him. Two. Two initiates held back a Jedi Master before their new Harbinger, Coci Heavenshield. Murderer. Thief. Traitor. His eyes looked at the hilt she was flaunting and then back to her.

He felt like he was going to explode. Literally. His body was shaking and he felt sick with rage.

"I HATE YOU!!"

The grey eyes bled amber. The Dark Side escaped from within, and it flowed from his heart through his veins, pumping around his body with blackened tendrils that latched onto every muscle and nerve. The burning member of the Force that resided somewhere in his spirit was now lost to the darkness.

"I WILL BURN YOU ALIVE FOR THIS! I WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN AND DESTROY THIS PLACE!" The Shadows dragged him with ease away from Coci and towards the rear of the chamber. "I HATE YOU COCI! I HATE YOU!"

His screams of anger would silence as the door closed that at first separated him from Coci, and the last he saw of her was her stood with his saber, watching him go. The second door closed after he had been dragged up the stairwell and cast out into the cold ruins of Voss, sealing him out in the unknown world forever.

Noting he was free, he scrambled up and lunged two hands at the ruins to pull them down. He was left with a pain in his chest. Nothing.

No Force. No lightsaber. No Jedi Master.

Seething, he ran his hands through his black hair and pulled it in frustration as he let out the loudest primal scream he could, but even that didn’t help.

He screamed. And screamed more. In the darkest of night and from his darkest heart, the rage swallowed him up and left him there, nothing more than a monster.

Monsters didn’t have hearts. They were devoid of emotion, and of feeling. Monsters were cruel, evil beasts who didn’t care for others – they only cared for themselves and they were not to be trusted, not to be looked upon and not to be befriended.

They were to be slain, locked away and banished.

Goodbye, Connor Harrison.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]