I'm Not A Ghost

[Florin Armetta]

He understood what he was being told although, he was stating he was just determined to that extent and even still the rocks floated above his head as he observed the hilt of the light sabre before him, taking in his field of view he looked nervous once more. He in truth didn't have his own light sabre that he built himself, or a real one. He only held a training sabre which he took out from a hidden pocket from his waist. He sighed telling his master the truth, "I still have yet to build my own Master. I have read countless times that Jedi make their own light sabre however its something I never learnt...Maybe in time you will teach me?"

He turned the training sabre on and a light blue hued bolt of energy formed, giving off a faint buzzing sound. It was clear that this weapon wasn't strong to enough to seriously hurt someone but still he was cautious. "I was never good with this, I don't want to hurt anyone. Surely there are diplomatic solutions to everything? For example, I heard of Valen, did that really need to happen?"

@[member="Nala Tu"]

 

[Nala Tu]

"Of course there always are diplomatic solutions." she said in answer to his questions. "But using a saber is not only a means of fighting. It's protection. It signifies your position as a Jedi. Most importantly it's a sign of your commitment to the order." Looking at the training blade she spoke as if it were real, saying "Blue then? Common but still significant. They say the color of a saber can often determine the techniques and skills of the Jedi itself." With that she activated hers, revealing the purple lighted blade that shot out. "The saber is more than a weapon, padawan. It's a Jedi's life."

@Florin Armetta

 

[Florin Armetta]

The comment she made about his training blade was funny, did the color really matter? It did the same purpose did it not? Yet hers was a beautiful purple and he in fact was quite envious to his masters blade. He spoke his words low and humming, "I have heard you can find crystals that have the same color as the fountains within the Jedi temple Master. Of course I have never seen such a thing but that's the color I would like, maybe one day I shall find such a crystal."

He was curious, knowing well that each color did somehow signify what type of jedi the holder was; blue sabres generally dedicated someone good at combat something Florin was absolutely terrible with. The three rocks still floating due to the part of his mind that he kept focused on the teleknsis aspect of his training that happened just before, even if his master didn't believe he was serious those three rocks were going to stay above his head like a halo till the day his day, not because it was an effective way to keep ones focus but rather instead it signified the start of a friendship Flo was developing with Nala Tu.

"What forms do you use master?" Was that question too personal? He didn't know but, Florin had read about the oh so many different forms was intrigued by them all, knowing most of their origins and why they were used was a magnificent piece of trivia and he hoped to share some knowledge that his master might not of known.
@[member="Nala Tu"]

 

[Nala Tu]

Smiling at his question Nala said "Ah, that's where the significance of my blade comes in. My methods are....well, let's just say that when it comes to control of the force, my methods are not strictly lightsided. Sometimes I require using skills of the darkside as well. But you've nothing to fear, Florin. I'm not about to become a sith just because of it. The mere fact that I commit all my strength to the Jedi order shows that just because something is bad, does not mean it cannot be used for good."

She deactivated her blade before saying "In terms of making your own saber, that is another test entirely. You would have to travel to Illum, where all Jedi padawans must go to find their cyrstals for their sabers."

@Florin Armetta

 

[Florin Armetta]

He gulped at the words, 'I use dark side powers' well that's basically what she way saying. Maybe it was ignorance or possibly he was just too young to understand why she would use such teachings. He wasn't scared just concered, how many lessons had it been regarding the dark side and how it can taint the soul, body, and mind and cause corruption...Exactly 145 now, and Flo could remember ever single one. The most memorable would be when the current Grand master of the order was teaching him as a youngling, her words weighed in heavy on the soul and that's when Florin just busted out with words filled with emotions the rocks above him tilting and widely moving in frustration..."But the dark side leaves to evil, Master you cannot use it. I...You just can't!"

What was he trying to say? Florin was confused he just started to warm up to his master and now he should be wary? He turned the blade to the training sabre off and looked down he knew he was out of place to question his master already but he was scared...He had never experienced the powers of the dark side or its call and the possibility that he might now terrified him quite a bit.
@[member="Nala Tu"]

 

[Nala Tu]

"It is not the dark side itself that I use, padawan." she said, trying to calm him as she put her saber away. "It is only in the methods. You see....I didn't fully learn how to control the force until a great tragedy occurred in my life. My own father was killed by a Sith....and in that moment I had unleashed my anger towards him. More power went through me than ever, when all the methods and teachings my master had tried to tell me did not work. But when I had calmed I found what I needed to better control myself." she held up her hands and said "My focus was augmented because I kept thinking everything was fine in life, that no matter what there was always good in everyone. I was wrong. Good is not in the Sith and those like them. My focus, my CENTER, became the idea of beginning each and everyone of them to justice. So that no one else would lose what I did. Do you understand now, Florin? I am not evil and I will never betray the order. Ever."

@Florin Armetta

 

[Florin Armetta]

He understood what his master was saying but the teachings, what about the teachings? Was he having to follow a similar path, to many questions raced through his mind. Is it possible that Flo was actually strong but was weak because the teachings he had been given thus far were inferior? No that couldn't be it at all. He didn't know what to do and thus was flustered, sitting down he closed his eyes and started to inhale, following by a loud exhale. He then spoke in a nervous tone like what would be hours ago now, "I'm sorry Master, I ddin-...I didn't mean to question you like that. I understand if you don't want to teach me."

His face scrunched up like a dog and a sigh escaped his lips still even through this whirlwind of emotions those rocks were still being controlled via telekinesis it would seem even unknowingly when he had forgotten about them, Florin had some amazing control of the force when he stuck his mind to it. "I want to learn, please teach me more. Because maybe if I become stronger you won't need to use the methods either anymore and I can protect you like the heroes in the stories." A noble thought, a very noble thought for such a young one indeed.

@[member="Nala Tu"]

 

[Nala Tu]

She walked over and held his shoulders again. "You'll not have to fear using methods like mine, Florin." she explained. "You have found your center, remember? That is why you do not need to learn the way I did. Everyone's center is different for every Jedi. Hard pressed or calm in nature, it is never that different when you realize that the force is within all. Those who learn to control it and use it for peace, they are the ones whom you can see rise into legend." She fixed his hair as some of it dropped over his eyes and said "Fear not, my brave padawan. I will teach you to be strong with the force. And soon you will do the same for a padawan of your own."

@Florin Armetta

 

[Florin Armetta]

He gave a warm smile to his master, her words reassured him that everything was okay, at least for now anyway and that's how he liked to live in the here and now. He felt the press of her arm on his shoulder and it sent quivers down his spine, as he slowly breathed in and out. Repeating it he would calm his heart and emotions at once as if they were interlined and hardwired into his brain. He thought to himself for a moment, a puzzling looked mounted his face as if he had entered his own little world and he did....He was starting to recall form his near identical memory, how many jedi has he read about that fell to the corruption and lies of the dark side? Too many... Revan, Skywalker, were only just two of the most famous jedi to have fallen yet Revan in his defence did save the galaxy he still fell to the allure of the ever so persuading dark side. And this was too much to bare, the training, the people, feelings of being different and alone just all surged through him as once, knowing that good people used the methods and powers of the dark side still made him weep on the inside as if there was some past there...

Florin got up he bowed while speak, "I think I should go and meditate Master, reflect upon today's lessons. It is getting late after all. Thank you though, you are everything I could of imagined and I'm sorry I was rude earlier."

A tear fell down his face as it would seem something was wrong.

He made way from the training room in a rush surely something was wrong with him; leaving without being excused was just the first sign. The three rocks followed behind him, staying near his body as he made haste towards the private room he was in hours before. It would seem he frequented this room quite often, Flo would call it his hideout if it wasn't so well known. Everyone knew to find him there if he had disappeared and thus he opened door and entered it curling up into the darkness of the corner trying to process the events that transpired today, although he most likely couldn't the young padawan just didn't know what to think. Master Nala Tu was a lovely person yet when he learnt she used the methods of the dark side to manifest her own powers it just didn't feel right to be there. Maybe it was him who was evil? For just up and leaving without hearing the full story, yet the judgement was made.

@[member="Nala Tu"]

 

[Nala Tu]

She bowed back when he left yet stood up when he ran out, seeing the tear in his eye. As much as she felt the need to speak with hm she felt he just needed space. Time to think and meditate. She hoped that, with enough time, he would understand her methods and teachings. "Padawan @Florin Armetta." she said to herself. "You have a strong heart. That is why you will be even stronger as a Jedi." With that she turned and left the room, off to mediate herself.

 

[Florin Armetta]

Was it tears of joy or shreds of woe that boy was weeping as they ran down his face. His dark, long hair covered his features and one would assume he was defiantly a girly at this point but it didn't matter. He needed to reflect upon everything, he needed to change but it was oh so hard, just too dam hard for him currently yet hopefully in time he would be able to achieve a metamorphosis and become the hero he wanted to. He clung to a data pad the held the story of a famous jedi who defied evil and stayed true to the force , Luke Skywalker, his favourite and hero of any jedi he had ever read. A story he would constantly go back to in times of conflict with himself or even the force. Something about this story just clamed the storm before it erupted and Florin knew that.

The lights of the data pad flickered across his skin as light became dusk and dusk became darkness. Another night of staying up to read it was such a life of sheltered silence he loved yet despised at the same time. He would eventfully fall tired and collapse to the fall, his body sprawled out as it was rather a cute sight to behold. It would seem once again the cold floors of this room would be but his bed, pillow, and blanket.

[Exit Thread]