Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Ilanthria

Diathim%20small_0.jpg


Name: Ilanthria
Age: Unknown
Species: Diathim
Gender: Unknown, yet acts and looks female
Hair: Variable (Appearance changes depending on the viewer)
Eyes: Variable (Appearance changes depending on the viewer)
Height: 7"6'
Weight: 130 lbs.
Complexion: Variable, yet appears to glow brightly in any form
Force Sensitive: Yes

Strengths:
Beauty- Though Ilanthria has no known base form, with every form she appears in, she is breathtakingly beautiful.
Mysteriousness: Because so little is known about her, Ilanthria has a distinct advantage when she is attempting to hide her identity.
Knowledge: Ilanthria is very wise in the ways of the Force.

Weaknesses:
Physicality: Ilanthria's physical strength is lower than human standards.
Humorless: Ilanthria doesn't have a sense of humor.

Personality:
Ilanthria is the ideal example of one who is in perfect harmony with the Force. She is tranquil, soothing, and compassionate. Even when in combat, she is focused and calm.

Biography:
Ilanthria was born on Iego. She spent most of her life there. She was discovered by a small group of Jedi that were visiting the planet, and went with them. She was taken to a Jedi Enclave on Felucia where she studied the ways of the Force and the history of the Jedi. She was very skilled in the Force, and was recognized for her wisdom.
 
Thank you. :) Itwould be interesting to see how Ilanthria would deal with a Sith if they provoked her. (If its even possible to provoke her...)
 

Karsh Lithern

The Living Mutation
I would advise expanding on the biography. Its vague and gives no clear insight as to what she is, how she is what she is, and how she functions with others. Sorry if I sound not picky. But bare in mind that I'm tired so it might be the lack of sleep speaking.

@[member="Ilanthria"]
 
Ilanthria said:
Only because she's one of the most peaceful characters on this site! :D
She will be fun to see and well an angel from Iego traveling around the galaxy is going to be fun. Though might need to expand on where she learned to pilot if at all. Iego is very hard to find and get away from.
 
Snowflame said:
She will be fun to see and well an angel from Iego traveling around the galaxy is going to be fun. Though might need to expand on where she learned to pilot if at all. Iego is very hard to find and get away from.
Karsh Lithern said:
I would advise expanding on the biography. Its vague and gives no clear insight as to what she is, how she is what she is, and how she functions with others. Sorry if I sound not picky. But bare in mind that I'm tired so it might be the lack of sleep speaking.
I think this is still a WIP because there is barely 50 words in there. so I believe that she will expand on it at a later date.
 

Karsh Lithern

The Living Mutation
@[member="Kai Nariko"]

Under other circumstances I would agree. But this writer has multiple characters. All of which have short bios. It's fine with other species and backgrounds. But this character requires a hellofa lot more description. Not because it isn't believable. But rather because the species itself, its background, and its culture are infinitively more complicated.

So yes, it may well be a WIP. But I'm going on the bias of past subs made by this writer.
 
@[member="Karsh Lithern"] that just means she needs more practice in writing. No need to judge her because of that. I know the writer fairly well, and she was brand new to rping when she joined the site. If you wish to have her have a longer bio, maybe you could offer your services to her to help her?

(see what I did there? lol)
 
Okay guys, there's no need to get dirty here. First, this character is a WIP. I was up very late trying to make her, and I was too tired to think anything else about her. When I come up with something more to add, I'll add it. And also, she is supposed to be mysterious. That means that it isn't going to be an in-depth and vivid analysis of her life.

Second, I will point out that while some of my character bios are short, others are adequately long. For example:
@[member="Katar"]
@[member="Azekor Kimene"]
@[member="Komi Malai"]
@[member="Leena & Kareena"]

Third, When I came to this site, I did in fact have previous experience. And let me tell you, I was a lot worse off when I started on that site than when I started on this one. I realize that my writing is far from perfect. This site has helped me to improve greatly on my own. I don't currently require mentoring in that field, though thank you for offering anyway.

Now that I've cleared that up, is there anyone interested in an RP session?
 

Karsh Lithern

The Living Mutation
Look, I wasn't necessarily fire shots. I was giving my opinion based on things that I've seen. Now I haven't read all of your characters' bios, so that might be an issue, but once again, I was just stating my opinion. Not saying that you're a terrible writer, etc ,etc. So no, I'm not trying to make you seem the fool. All I was saying is that it felt vague and then that other guy started in on me when all I was doing was trying to be helpful. Which may have given rise to some of my angrier comments, this paired with the lack of sleep. In the end, my sole intent was to provide feedback and a bit of help to you. Not to be outwardly discriminating because of everything you've ever done. Trust me, you are by far not the worst RPer. I have seen some people who start out a thread by ONLY tagging the person they are doing it with. That. That is a rookie mistake.

@[member="Ilanthria"]
 

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