Private I, Jedi

[Takui]

The collective struggled with morality and their sense of duty. It was a tale as old as time: do I follow the lead of the state, or do I break free and find my own way. The Old Republic saw Corellia break ties more than three times during their twenty thousand year rule. Taku had recently delved into the Jedi Archives and learned about a conflict as old, if not older that ultimately tore the Jedi Order in two and created "Dark Jedi," and had culminated in the rise of the Sith. Ideologies clashed harder than steel. At the heart of it was a discussion: one that had escalated into an argument, and then, into a war. Now here he was, polarized on one side of a conflict that would likely outlive him.

Aboard Peace, he had seen, heard, and met many of the Jedi in the Galaxy. He had thrown his lot in with Starchaser, to a Jedi that rejected the Dark in all of its forms. Among the many Jedi who shared that belief was Oceiros Sunstrider , who had heard the young, impressionable, white haired Padawan call out his unwavering support. The man only spoke to him briefly, but he asked for Taku to meet up with him elsewhere, at a later time. His reasons were vague, but Taku wanted to hear him out. Maybe he had seen something that the younger man had not.

So here he was, sitting in a Caf and sipping his drink idly as he waited for the other man to show up.

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

Nar Shaddaa, a cesspool of a planet, one that was steeped in greed, and lust. It was a planet that very few Jedi would be caught on, let alone meeting another. Yet, what better place to meet when the galaxy was rife with chaos, and Jedi were being hunted? There was another reason Oceiros had chosen the planet, one that would come into play later depending on how Taku responded to his offer.

Entering the cantina, Oceiros drew a few glances, but none lingered on the Jedi for he didn’t dress like one. Drabbed in a black jacket, matching pants, and a dark grey shirt, the epicanthix crossed the bar to his target that stood out like a sore thumb. The clothing that the other having picked showing their naivety, or perhaps their devotion to their culture? Either way, what was supposed to be an inconspicuous meeting wouldn’t be so as most of the patrons looked on at the Jedi.

Taking a seat across from Takui, Oceiros nodded to the other. A hand sliding under the table to activate a barrier that prevented sound from escaping. Easing slightly, the Jedi offered Takui a warm smile before cutting through the niceties and getting to the point. “I saw your impassioned speech, I must say I’m impressed. But, what we’re heading towards isn’t a place for the untrained. I was once like you. I didn’t know the true horrors of war till Bastion.” Closing his eyes, the epicanthix forced back down memories that sprang unbidden to the surface of his mind.

“Are you sure you truly wish to enter such a thing? I want to be sure before we continue. You have a chance to walk out of that door and do something else, be something else.”

Takui

 

[Takui]

In the last several days, Taku had experienced hell firsthand. It wasn't the horrors of war. It was perhaps nothing as damning as a battlefield, yet the feelings he experienced and the suffering that he still felt all the way to his core were vividly real to him. The darkness had become more real in those few days than it had ever been when it was just his pent up anger and hatred toward his Father. When those things manifested, they had transformed him into a beast without thought, and if time had continued to elapse, the youth was absolutely certain it would have taken his soul as well.

He was quiet as Oceiros introduced himself, only barely managing to smile. He had dark bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep. Nightmares plagued him. A shadow still hung there, despite the brave face he wore.

Takui kept a candle burning in his room, a small source of warmth and light that gave him comfort. When the Jedi mentioned the path ahead of them, he found himself wishing for the familiar light. Something, anything to hold fast to as the very real horror threatened to cross his mind again.

He wasn't afraid now, though. Not for the reasons one might think. The darkness was reality. Takui accepted that. He accepted that there was no way to fully banish it or snuff it out. What he did fear was that he would succumb to it, and that through him, others would as well.

Taku closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was impolite to stare, and he had been making eye contact with the other man for several seconds longer than seemed comfortable. "I've seen what the dark side is," he spoke softly, but with certainty. There was a conviction in Taku that had not been there before. He once said, "I will not fall."

It had evolved from mere words into an obsession.

"I want to protect life," he said, "I want to stand against those who would destroy or pervert it." His fist clenched, knuckles turned white. His jaw tightened. Taku knew he looked angry, and perhaps he was.

He was angry with himself.

The boy who days earlier wanted nothing to do with hard work found himself barreling at hyperspace into a world that was beyond his imagination. His promise to his mother had morphed into a true understanding of the Jedi calling. That horrible place in his soul, the stain that lingered there- it needed to be bathed in radiant light.

Balance needed to be restored.

"There was a choice," he told Sunstrider at last. "I already made it."

Oceiros Sunstrider

 

[Oceiros Sunstrider]

Now that he was close to the apprentice, Oceiros could see all the other traits. The bags under the eyes, the staring. Oceiros need not use the force to read the emotions that the other radiated. The epicanthix could tell that the other had been troubled by something over the past few days, what it could be? That was what he didn’t know. In the troubled times they lived there were far too many possibilities to even attempt to contemplate them all.

The Jedi hadn’t come to force the other into anything, so while the other was contemplating their words, the epicanthix was patient. Those sapphire eyes holding a calm to rival the eye of a storm. When Oceiros looked at Takui he saw himself back on Brentaal. Someone who’d been stuck at a juncture in life, before Oceiros then he had two choices. One path led to him dying upon the planet of Brentaal to the forces of Abbadon, the other was the path of a Sunstrider. Oceiros had chosen the latter.

Suffice to say the words of the other brought a slight smirk to the lips of the epicanthix. “That’s exactly the answer I was hoping to hear from you.”

“To protect life is the duty of us as Jedi. To defend those who can’t defend themselves. Many have forgotten that as of late, they turn to protecting the governments over the people.” A finger tapped the table for emphasis with the words before the epicanthix cast a glance around the cantina.

“Come with me, I’m going to teach you the first lesson I learned the hard way. Before us are many battles, and I want to ensure you’re able to handle the pressure it puts upon your mind.”

Exiting out into the streets of Nar Shaada, Oceiros could smell the smog on the air, and the urine that sat upon the ground. There was a reason he’d chosen the world, it was perhaps one of the most populous planets in the galaxy, next to Coruscant. Yet the breed of people you found on Nar Shaadaa were different.

The dark night was lit by nothing but the neon signs of casinos and cantinas that the two passed.

For ten minutes Oceiros led the other through the ecumenopolis, ignoring the yells of passer bys, and the invitations of ladies of the night.

Coming to a stop before a deep pit that went down to the lowest levels of the planet, Oceiros cast a glance down it. “Here is where we begin your lesson. Have you ever truly opened yourself to the force Takui?”

Takui

 

[Takui]

For a time, Taku had lost himself.

There were moments between his mother's death and his eye-opening experience on Deneba that the young man knew nothing about the life he had chosen for himself. The Jedi who he watched die had given him the initial lesson that opened his mind to something far larger than he was able to comprehend; but before he learned to control it, the young man had his first experience with true death.

His own mother had died before his eyes, but there was something that the memory lacked when compared with the instant that he watched another man's soul ripped untimely from his body. There was a connection he had felt. Not like the connection between family. It was something far deeper than that. Two living things, intermingled in some kind of existential manner that he could not put to words.

Until he could.

The Force. He had felt the Force, and a disturbance that made him feel like something had been torn out of his heart. In an instant, Taku had been awakened to his connection, only to have it assailed by something he could not ever have prepared for.

Though they were surrounded by noise, by flashing lights and the screams of engines, Taku found himself numb to everything else. It was the answer Oceiros wanted that he struggled to give. In the days that followed Deneba, he researched and learned more about the Force, a vain attempt to understand what he had felt.

His reply was as honest as the morose expression on his face. "Yes," he told Oceiros. "Once. Just once."

It was the sort of experience that left the imprints of trauma. That memory was a deep wound, something not easily remedied by anything short of time.

The second experience he had with the Force had been less active, and more like a guttural response. His body screamed out for vengeance, in hatred of his Father. He had not opened himself; that time, it had ripped him open and wore him like a second skin.

All the same, he knew how the Force felt; tough he had no trust in what it might do if he sought it out again. It was in that moment that Taku decided to glance below them.

"...that's a long way down," he gulped.

Oceiros Sunstrider