I Hate This Stuff

[Haytham Kaze]

After the death of [member="Vassara Raxis"], Haytham had been corrupted by the Dark Side, but not completely that he became a crazed murderer like so many others before him. He wasn't even sure if he'd consider himself a Sith, but people liked to label things. A realization came that the newly made Acolyte had things to get straight and he wanted to be away from everything and everyone.

Exhaling a breath of the frozen air, the ebony haired male stood on his starship's ramp as he looked out on the horizon of the planet of Ilum. It was secluded enough, and there wasn't much reason for people to go looking for him there anyway right? He doubted anyone in the Republic would miss him, and besides, he didn't even know that many people anyway.

Humming thoughtfully to himself, he rose up from his sitting position and walked up into the gaping maw that was the ship and closed the ramp behind him. Seating himself in a dark room, the young Force user gathered the Force to himself. It was a simple thing to do, but it was boring. Haytham never liked meditating, there was no physical attraction to it. He knew that he was at his best when he was thinking on his feet.

Looking into the future? That wasn't his kind of thing to do.

But he did it anyway, he needed a direction and with that final thought in mind, he pulled his consciousness into the meditative trance.

 

[RC 212]

[member="Haytham Kaze"]

She felt him.......

Across the untold millions of miles of space, untold galaxies yet explored, she felt a familiar presence she had been searching for. as the force closed in around the young man, Vassara who was one with it now was there in all forms. In the air, the water the crystals, the snow. She was the force, literally. she could feel something else too. A darkness that was growing in the core of her young Padawan. It shone like a bright beacon of fiery red on a misty night

As he fell deeper into the trance she reached out, surrounding him, penetrating his mind, until he would be aware of her. She would appear to Haytham as the same as when she lived. A smile on her face, and fire in those blue ghostly eyes.

"Haytham........"

 

[Haytham Kaze]

Haytham loathed meditation. There was no excitement to it. It didn't matter how frail you were, all you had to do was sit there and gain insight? It was... Inexplicably lame. After he had lost track of time in his trance, he felt the presence of someone familiar. He had read in the Jedi Archives countless times of how there were Force ghosts or echoes of people who had passed on. It was rare that the Force played tricks like this, if one thought it was a trick they had misinterpreted it.

The hands that were on his thighs clenched and released multiple times before his eyes opened up and saw the figure before him. His physical form didn't actually open his eyes however, they were still closed, but within his mind his eyes opened and he got to his feet. Setting his gaze on [member="Vassara Raxis"], his arms folded over his chest as he raised an eyebrow.

"Have you come to give me advice?" He asked, grey eyes looking her up and down within his mind's eye. He was scrutinizing her, trying to discern as to whether or not it was a dream, or if someone had penetrated his mental barriers.

 

[RC 212]

[member="Haytham Kaze"]

She could feel everything. See the wheels working in his mind, read his thoughts. The omniscient ghost sagely nodded and locked eyes with his. Elsewhere vents were happening in the force. Events she ignored, because for now all her concentration was focused here and now, upon her former Padawan.

"Do you need advice? Do you even know what you need Haytham?"

She smirked letting him guess at her riddles.

"I have been watching you young one. I am everywhere, I am the force. I understand you have taken your first steps to Darkness. How does it serve you?"

 

[Haytham Kaze]

He didn't feel anything when she spoke to him. He allowed her to finish whatever she was saying before he would even start. There was a purpose to this visit, and although he didn't understand Force Ghosts wholly, he was going to find out what she wanted.

"Unless you can tell me truly that I can bring peace to the Galaxy single-handedly, then I do not think there is anything you can offer me, but please, do try to," he said drily. There was relatively little emotion in his voice whilst he spoke to her. She gave off the impression of wanting to play games, but he wasn't in the mood, not when she was dead and appearing as a ghost.

"It doesn't serve me any better than the Light Side."

[member="Vassara Raxis"]

 

[RC 212]

[member="Haytham Kaze"]

"So you've learned nothing then? What If I told you you could change the galaxy. Yes I can read your thoughts remember?"

Vassara gave him a wry grin, casting a look up and down him. He seemed calm enough, and centered. He was sure impatient though, a trait of the Darkside, something she was none too fond of if she remembered right. But then she wasn't here on behalf of either, just as a mentor of sorts.

"You may want to find purpose, before you destroy yourself. If I remember correctly you were determined to make a difference. Seek out Jack Raxis, and the Wardens. I spoke of them once, though you'll have to change your path no doubt. Either way I'm here watching Haytham, don’t forget yourself. What you were."

 

[Haytham Kaze]

Haytham's shoulders shrugged. Again, he let her speak. He didn't need to interrupt her whilst she spoke.

But now, he spoke and speak he did. He wasn't going to let a dead person lecture him on what he should do in this life. Snorting, he shook his head from side to side. "I am determined to make a difference. So were you I recall before you thought it wise to go and kill yourself," he said with another shake of his head, his grey eyes taking on a look of accusation.

"I heard from the Sith that killed you that you fell to the Dark Side before you died. I even felt it in the Force. Tell me why the Dark Side is the wrong path when you, a supposed Master so easily fell?" Despite his angered words, he spoke with a calm ferocity. It was if his body were caging the beast that was hidden within him. Containing the power of the Dark Side deep within. "I remember seeing your head and body separated from each other, by a walking whale nonetheless."

There was condescension in his voice now, but he stopped there. He had always been good at containing his inner darkness, especially for someone that had been born on the world like Dromund Kaas.

[member="Vassara Raxis"]

 

[RC 212]

[member="Haytham Kaze"]

She scoffed, even sarcastic in ghostly form.

"I had a purpose, destroy the Sith. And I did for a good many years, whittling down their infrastructure and waging a Shadow war. My sacrifice was a measured step to buy time for the station. Kiber and Olan were able to destroy the rest of the sensitive information. Why you turned? I haven't a clue."

She was fading now, her attention slowly seeping elsewhere, divided as she checked on galactic events.

"Even now you are corrupted. I am a part of the Force Haytham, the force see and knows all. If you follow my path, you'll be a hero and an excellent warrior. If you continue down yours, your future holds nothing but a blasted shell of a body and soul, consumed by the darkside and slowly destroyed."

 

[Haytham Kaze]

Haytham snorted.

"Tch," he said in a disgusted sound and another shaking of his head. He supposed she didn't really know him. It was probably both their faults he guessed. It was clear already that she was full of her own self-pride, so was he. But Haytham always liked to think he was open-minded, but this time around, he couldn't see a better way to reach peace in the Galaxy.

"It is impossible to end the Sith. In my early years as a Padawan to the Jedi Grandmaster I wanted to end all darkness and Sith. But you can't, all you can do is push them away into a far off corner and forget about them -- that is, until they come back out again." He hums softly. "Your sacrifice was hardly a sacrifice. If you had waited for me then perhaps you'd be alive and the Dark Side would have one less Sith Lord," he shook his head again. "You succumbed to the Darkness you claim to fight. I suppose dying in such a way was meant to be transcending?" He points to her and snorts, a mirthless smile plastered on his lips.

"I do not want to be a hero. I want to prevent this war from lasting any longer. If I have to navigate the line between the light and the dark, then so be it. The Dark Side will corrupt me if I fall any deeper into it. But you're mistaken if you think I'll become one of those monsters that kills without reason. No one will die at my hand if it isn't necessary./;

He pauses.

"Understand this. Believe this. If you claim that the Force sees and knows all, then see for yourself and know that I am not lying." His arms spread to either side of him as if daring her to challenge his words. Haytham was no liar, and he would not be slandered in such a way.

[member="Vassara Raxis"]

 

[RC 212]

[member="Haytham Kaze"]

"What changed your mind?"

Vassara crossed her arms, leaning against the wall, her ghostly form appearing very at ease, despite his accusations.

"And we've already covered my joyous fall and redemption young one. I'm talking about bringing balance to the Force. You are right, there will always be Sith, but at present the Force is unbalanced, overwhelmed by the darkness. You claim you want peace? Well peace is not a reachable goal my old Padawan. No one says you have to subscribe to the Jedi Dogma. Look at me, I was Rogue, followed the stray path. That was not the first time I've tapped the darkness, but I always had one thing Haytham. Balance."

She raised a ghostly eyebrow.

"I understand you're not lying, I'm simply relaying the will of the force to you. What you do with the information is of your own choosing."

 

[Haytham Kaze]

"There is no such thing as the will of the Force, and if there is then the Force has willed me to travel down this path," he said with a shake of his head as he decided to start from the beginning. "Nothing changed my mind, I'm tired of you thinking you can tell me what I should do with myself." His shoulders rolled back. He was regaining consciousness with his growing annoyance.

"Perhaps one day I'll ask you what redemption you got, for there is nothing heroic in suicide," but he raised a hand as if to stop her from correcting him. "Peace is unreachable at this point in time. For there to be peace, the Jedi and the Sith Orders must be destroyed -- the both of them." He hums thoughtfully again, likely the final time in their exchange here. His physical body exhaled a breath of air as he started to regain his own consciousness, and when he blinked his vision was lower.

Things were back to how they were, he was seated on his knees still and he was still having trouble balancing his hair on his forehead without it falling into his eyes. Pushing the strands out of his face, he rose to his feet as he looked about, almost expecting [member="Vassara Raxis"] to be there, but whether he found her or not, he placed his hands on his hips, knowing she'd be listening.

"First I'll start with the supposed Light Side. And once the Galaxy is shrouded in darkness, I'll likely die fighting someone much stronger than I am." He snorts, "Maybe we'll talk again, but for now, I'm done."

 

[RC 212]

[member="Haytham Kaze"]

There was nothing but a raucous laughter that grew in intensity. A wild cackling as the spirits voice grew louder and louder. Even without meditating he'd hear it and it would be earth shattering. Until he got out of the room.....