Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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I Don't Like My First Person Writing Either

ORD CESTUS
MC-CES-082

The basement level, where we usually ran all the tests for experimental models, was usually cold. Very cold. It helped the computers run more effectively, but they probably just wanted to cut down on the heating bill. Much cheaper to make everyone down here wear two layers of clothes than to pump in some heat. I couldn't imagine how much it cost to keep these facilities running in the first place. They were huge and took a lot of maintenance. Plus all the cost of the people living at these facilities. Droids are expensive products, I guess, and when you sell as many as Hegemonic Automaton, you could probably afford these types of factories.

I pulled my arms in closer, tucking my shivering hands into my armpits to afford them some measure of warmth. Kept forgetting the gloves. Stupid gloves. Living on a planet like Ord Cestus didn't exactly adjust me to the cold. These guys were paying pretty good, though, better than some other companies on the planet. It certainly beat enlisting in some Mandalorian cannon fodder battalion. My cousin did that and, after that one foray into One Sith territory, there hadn't been enough of him to warrant sending anything back.

Crazy galaxy we lived in, man.

The whole basement level looked like it was just an empty warehouse. Normally there would be targets set up, droid parts laying around, melee weapons and blasters strewn everywhere. I'd have some company, other technicians or some dudes from corporate. There were just a lot of tests that went down here, from droid performance to making sure the programming was done right. Like making sure the K-65 Neuro-Saav made was functioning properly with the droids, testing their combat response times. Sometimes they brought in Mandalorians to wrestle with the TA1s and see how they measured up. Last time I checked the scoreboard in the lounge, the Mandos were still winning, but the gap between the two scores shrunk a little more each day.

Now, though, it was totally empty. Not even those weird Epicanthix "observers" we weren't allowed to talk to. Just me, a few small crates piled up, and the computer equipment on top of it.

Like, I asked why I was going to be down here alone, but I wish I hadn't. They said something like "this is one of our more dangerous models, better to minimize potential casualties if something goes wrong." I should've said something but, even with that kind of ominous reasoning, was I really going to be better off if I quit this job and ended up drafted into some Mandalorian fire team? End up dead or Sith-ified or... Whatever it was One Sith did to their enemies?

I shuddered, but that was mostly from the cold. I wasn't going to be alone forever. Some bigwig from corporate was going to show up and watch everything unfold. Weird that this was too risky to have the grunt staff like myself get murdered, yet this apparently big deal was going to come in and watch it himself. Good for him, I guess.
 
Eventually he shows up, and I hear the huge blast doors open up behind me before I actually turn around to see who it is. Most of the people from corporate were... Well, for lack of a better word, assholes. This guy also looked like an nerf herder, but a different type of nerf herder. Generally they were just the clean-cut, suit and tie, stick-up-the-butt... I don't know? Prudes was the word? They just thought they were better than everyone else, because they had some fancy education from some fancy off-planet university, so that entitled them to the ultra-high paying jobs and to lord themselves over people like me. Judging from the stupid face on this guy, he also thought he was better than everyone else. Not because he got a good education and a good job, but because he was born to it. Yeah, this nerf herder wasn't some typical businessman-esque nerf herder. This was a noble nerf herder- royalty.

Arguably the worse type of nerf herder, if you ask me.

He wasn't dressed like he was from corporate. It was more royal attire, like what you'd see the aristocrats on Galidraan, Tion, or some other royal nerf herder-dense planet wearing. In another life, I would have sincerely wanted to punch this guy in the face, just from looking at him. His hair was long, longer than was normal (or acceptable as far as I'm concerned) and a distinct platinum. The amount of bullshit that went into this guys ridiculous mane was probably greater in value than a year of my salary. It kind of made me want to strangle him to death with it. There was that self-assured "better than you, plebeian" attitude in the very way he walked, idly carrying along with him a fancy, ornate cane that he clearly did not need. His complexion didn't really denote him as someone who went outside a lot and probably

"Are you Rodger?" Said the ghostly bourgeoisie. Just like I thought, this douche-hammer sounded just as haughty as he looked.

I nodded. Jackass or not, I was supposed to do my thing and answer his questions. Part of the job. "Yessir."

"Good. Start it up when you're ready."

Took me a minute to figure out he wasn't going to introduce himself. Karks like him hardly had time to introduce themselves to someone as lowly as me, obviously. I was probably just some throw-away character as far as this guy, this blue blooded snob, was concerned. I'll bet he met with seventeen other Rodgers this week. Just because I didn't gallivant around the known and unknown galaxy circle-jerking with other self-important assholes, I guess I wasn't worth his precious, precious time. Give me a break.

"Right then," I said, turning away from him and to the console. I reluctantly unfolded my arms, maybe a little worried I'd get frostbite and lose them with how low the temperature was in here. The cold didn't even seem to phase this guy. How far up one's ass did the stick have to go before shivering became an impossibility?
 
I turned around and typed some commands into the nearby console. If this was anything like the other tests we ran, this shouldn't take long and I could get out of here and away from this dandelion looking jackass. But something in my gut told me this wasn't going to be a quick process. If this were just another day in the office, I wouldn't have been down here alone. A large cargo container lowered itself from the ceiling and was placed several dozen meters away from us by a large robotic claw. Again, this place was stupid expensive to build and maintain. Never understood how they did it. Anyway, I flipped a switch, and the now landed container opened up. An Echani Battle Mimicry Unit, one of the ones on loan from that mysterious minority shareholder no one knew the name of, stepped out. They didn't let it keep its signature energy swords. This was the unarmed combat trial.

The robotic arm eventually came back, dropping another cargo container alongside the second one. This one also opened up after I flicked the corresponding switch, only this time a droid I had never seen before waltzed on out like it owned the place. This wasn't anything knew. Lots of times I was down here, the droids we were testing had never been seen before. Most of them were prototypes and most of them never saw mass production. This one probably wouldn't be any difference.

The new droid had that vague insectoid look to it. Same as the rest of the Talos Series. The legs were double jointed and it's head was flat and square. Then again, it also had more of a hammerhead shark kind of look to it. The rest of it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, black chestplate and armor. Lamanium seemed to be the primary metal that went into it, then the arms had some kind of extra-thick molytex action going on there. In principle, it was no different from the rest of the Talos series, but this was going to be much bigger and badder. It had to be if the freaking EMBU was its sparring partner.

"Impressive."
"Haven't started the test yet."
"I was remarking upon the design."
"Oh."

I reminded myself to not say anything else to this guy unless he asked, then went about preparing to start the match. This ought to be some spectacle.
 
After a few minutes of making sure things were in order, I started up the test. Normally I looked forward to this kind of thing, but right about now the only thing I wanted was to leave early, maybe go home and bemoan my existence. It was just one of those days. Weeks. Probably months, but that was mostly a pessimistic forecast. Immediately after I flipped the last switch, the droids went ham on one another. Most of the time when we test unarmed protocols, it's just brawling. The droids pounce on one another and throw punches until one of them falls over. Not this time, though. This was some martial arts nonsense I was looking at right now. These droids could have been two learned martial artists in cunning robot costumes duking it out on the summit of some Atrisian mountain for all I knew. This wasn't just blind flailing, this was intricate and well-coordinated movement.

I was starting to suspect this might have been choreographed. I'd have to look at the programming in both droids later.

Choreographed or not, eventually the TA4 seized the advantage over the EBMU. It was a flurry of punches to the Echani-droid's face, each one of increasing force that eventually turned the droid's head into an unrecognizable pile of scrap. At one point the EBMU had done more or less the same to the TA4, but that didn't stop the Hegemonic droid.

"Do give me some information on the droid. I haven't read the dossier yet."

Great. Talking. My favorite.

"We took a page from the IG-100 MagnaGuard." I explained over the sound of metal punching metal. "Got a back-up central processor and photoreceptor in the chest cavity. The head can take a serious amount of punishment on its own, but if we lose it, it'll still keep going."

There was an ear-splitting sound as the TA4 now ripped the EBMU's head clean off. The headless durasteel corpse of the now outdated combat droid crumpled uselessly to the ground. The TA4 regarded the head of its former opponent for a few moments before tossing it away.

"Also, we gave it repulse-hands. Let's it do stuff like... That."

"Fascinating."

Oh, I bet.
 
Then came the second test, which was much like the first test but totally different. I flipped another switch, and out came two YVH-1 Droids from the container the EMBU had just exited. This time they had weapons. Nothing fancy, just a couple of durasteel fighting staves. With no further pause, they assaulted the TA4. They didn't seem too interested in collaborating as far as I could tell. One of them got in front of the other and was immediately disarmed and flung around by the TA4, just in time for the Hegemonic droid to block a strike from the other YVH-1.

They continued on in this fashion, the now armed TA4 relentlessly battling the two YVH-1 droids. Despite clearly being outnumbered, the TA4 managed to hold its own. This wasn't a good idea. The TA4 just got out of that other fight and now it was up against these two? I doubted it was going to last very much longer. Fortunately for Hegemonic Automaton's product development team, I was wrong. Finally the TA4 saw some kind of opening. The durasteel pole ended up jammed through the unarmed YVH-1 droid's photoreceptor. Once again, the droid brain controlling the hostile droid was severed and it fell over deactivated. The durasteel staff was taken with it and, before the YVH-1 even hit the ground, the TA4 was grappling with the enemy droid for the remaining staff.

"What sort of armor does this droid use?"

By the Force, did I enjoy a great question.

I explained it as far as I knew. The TA4 dealt with the same system for armor on the Talos Series. Only this time, there were some different things implemented. Firstly was the Laminanium armor replacing the usual dura-armor. Laminanium, as I'm sure he knew but I explained anyway, was an incredibly durable metal that also had the good fortune of being self-repairing. Cortosis Hegemonic Automaton received from some anonymous benefactor was utilized along with titanium into going into the droid's skeleton. I'd never seen a Jedi or Sith up close before and I doubt I ever will. But apparently, they're a big problem on the frontlines, and cortosis can't be cut through with their fluorescent light blades or whatever it was they used.

The TA4 and the YVH-1 continued to wrestle for control of the staff. Despite the entertainment value, I really still wanted to leave.
 
When it came down to the TA4, it was difficult to not just refer to it as an amalgamation of a lot of different droids. This thing yanked all the best bits of those top of the line melee droids, IG-100, Mirari, YVH-1, EMBU, and sort of scrambled them all together. I'm sure there are better ways to put it, obviously it wasn't just, like, throwing all the coding together. It was more complicated than that, but far above my paygrade. Whatever the eggheads did, the TA4 was basically everything those droids could do only better. Like on steroids or something. It was pretty intense. I would know, considering I'm sitting here watching it beat the crap out of YVH-1 Droids that keep periodically emerging from the second crate I had plopped down.

Beyond that, there were the usual Hegemonic Automaton stops. Gyroscopic stabilizers, advanced sensors, Neuro-Saav add-ons... The thing was a walking menace that would give any equivalent droid a run for its money. Probably. As far as I could tell, combat was pretty much 95% luck and timing. Yeah, maybe the TA4 would be hot poodoo, but that didn't necessarily mean it'd win every fight it was in. And, no, the fact that the TA4 me and goldy-locks were watching succumbed to about three YVH-1s a couple moments before that revelation.

"I'm impressed."

Yeah, woopdy-do. Hopefully the death of this ungodly droid would let me get out of here.

"I think we're done here."

Yeah, yeah, I bet we are.

I muttered an affirmative and didn't turn around to watch him leave. I flipped a couple switches, the crates returned from whence they came, and a few Z2 Servant Droids showed up to start cleaning up the mess. Once that was all done, maybe I could leave and get on with my life.
 

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