LOA I Am Sorry

[Kitter Bitters]

I recently made a post reflecting on how much I've grown as a roleplayer. Looking back, I realize I was wrong. I still have a great deal of growing left to do, both as a writer and as a person.

In the span of just two days, I managed to deeply upset several people I genuinely care about. None of it was intentional, but I understand that intention doesn't erase impact. I am sincerely sorry for the things I've said and done. It hurts to recognize that, despite wanting to do better, I've continued making mistakes that other people have had to pay for.

I've never wanted to be someone who bullies, dismisses, or hurts others. I find that behavior awful, which makes it all the more difficult to acknowledge that I've engaged in it myself. If I have hurt you, please know how deeply sorry I am. Nobody deserves to feel dismissed, belittled, or publicly called out over something that is supposed to bring us joy. Yet that is exactly what I allowed to happen, and I take responsibility for it.

I genuinely care about the people here. I love this community, and I love this hobby. But those are just words, and lately, my actions haven't reflected them. I don't expect an apology to undo the hurt I've caused, and I don't expect anyone to simply forgive me because I never meant for things to turn out this way. I recognize that I have to do better, not just say that I will.

I'm also sorry to everyone I'm disappointing by stepping away from ideas, plots, and threads again. Being someone who follows through on commitments was something I had sincerely been trying to improve. I wanted to change how people viewed me. I wanted to prove that I could be dependable, that I could stick with things, and that I had grown beyond some of my old habits. I feel like I've let people down in that regard, too.

But more than anything, I don't want a hobby I love to become a source of pain for people I care about. No story, character, thread, or disagreement is worth making another person feel small or unwelcome.

Right now, I think the kindest thing I can do is step away and give people some space. Not because I don't care, but because I do. I need to reflect on my behavior and figure out how to make meaningful changes instead of continuing to promise growth that I haven't consistently demonstrated. I have always wanted to conduct myself with kindness, compassion, and consideration for others. Lately, I have failed to live up to those values, and that is something I am deeply ashamed of. If I cannot contribute to this community without causing harm to people I genuinely care about, then I no longer feel that I have earned my place here. As painful as it is to admit, I think stepping away may be better for everyone involved. You are all better off without me.

I am so sorry to those I've hurt, those I've disappointed, and those who have continued to give me chances. You deserved better from me.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

I say this as someone who has known you through other boards for quite awhile. You are probably the kindest, most thoughtful person around, and you having the need to apologize bothers me because you have no reason to. So I will apologize to you for being in a community that makes you feel the need to apologize at all.


Take care of yourself. You know how and where to contact me.

 

[Delila Castillon]

I couldn't message you on discord, so I'll have to say it here.

If you're leaving because of one person I would personally say reconsider. If someone is in pain from ooc interactions on this site they may need some serious therapy.

I'll be around if you ever want to chat.

 

[Silent One]

I agree with everything Delila Castillon just said. If you want to chat, you know where to find me. If not, I wish you the best of luck.

Kitter Bitters

 

[Muad Dib]

Bollocks.

Haters are going to hate.
Salt mines exist.
And sometimes people don't see eye to eye.
Take whatever time you think you need and know that, when you're ready, there are people here that care and want to write with you.
Because this is supposed to be a fun hobby, and having you around makes it even more fun.

 

[Joy]

I don't know who you have been talking to over the past two days but I wanted to leave a message and say that my personal interactions with you have been kind and likeable. While there could be some truth to what you said in your opening post (and my post might not change that) but I did want to chime in and say that I don't think you're a bully nor have I seen you engage in the type of toxicity that is making other people leave the website and community.

What I have seen a lot is you declaring an LOA and then coming back in a relatively short amount of time. It is clear to me that you really like this website and roleplaying here but I think a long and extended break (months) would do you some good. I say this because you messaged me on Discord a few weeks ago asking if everything was okay between us (and they always have been) but for some reason you thought that there was something wrong at the time and there wasn't. I think you're very burned out with roleplay and interacting with other people in this community so a long, long break would be a beneficial thing.

If I don't hear from ya before New Years I'll leave this post wishing you happy holidays in December and a happy new year going into 2027. ♥♥♥