Private Helping Hands

[Braze]

TAGS: @ Shan Pavond

Haunted by the encounter, Braze has found himself disassociating from the incident, the details of which blur in his memory like a bad dream. The only clear thought in his mind is the need to find someone he trusts, someone who can help him heal not just physically, but emotionally as well. His destination is the Great Temple, a beacon of hope and sanctuary for those of the Jedi Order.

As he makes his way through the labyrinthine corridors of the temple, Braze's thoughts are a whirlwind of confusion and fear. He has always been taught to face his fears, to confront and understand them, but this experience has shaken him to his core. The physical pain of his broken wrist is nothing compared to the turmoil within.

Finally reaching the medical wing, Braze seeks out Shan, a friend and a healer he has come to trust deeply. Shan's presence has always been a source of comfort and wisdom for Braze, and now, more than ever, he needs that reassurance.

 

[Shan Pavond]

Shan was just relaxing in the medical wing. Or well, as much as working to treat people could be classed as relaxing. Checking over a few things to make sure there wasn't any issues. It was his way of being useful. He needed something to justify to himself, for justify whilst he was still here and working. Sure, taking a break might have been a good idea but breaks weren't good for Shan. He was going to keep working as hard as he could.

A small frown spread across his face at the sound of footsteps in the hall. Shan wasn't too sure who could be coming in, possibly another Healer? Someone injured? He turned his head around to spot a familiar tuff of white hair wandering around. If it wasn't for the fact that they were in the halls of healing, Shan might have yelled out to Braze, but there were people here trying to rest and recover, so Shan made his way over towards the little man.

"Well. Hello there Braze. Didn't expect to see you here." Well...That was a lie. It didn't come as a surprise to Shan that Braze would be making visits to be getting healed, what had the padawan gotten himself into now? Since he also knew Braze probably wouldn't come here unless he was either forced to, or it was something serious.


Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Shan Pavond

As he approaches, he instinctively guards his injured wrist, a subconscious effort to protect himself from further harm.

Seeing Shan, Braze padded directly towards him, his footsteps picking up a touch of speed. He paused just before the elder Padawan, looking at the ground and then to Shan, repeating this a few times as if trying to decide what to say and having some difficulties coming up with the right words.

Finally, he mustered the courage to speak. "I need help," he finally said, his voice carrying a softness that hinted at his vulnerability. Gently, he presented his arm, revealing a splint that, while crudely fashioned, served its purpose in immobilizing his wrist. "I got injured really bad, and I don't know how to fix this," he admitted, his tone reflecting the underlying current of dull, persistent pain.

"Do you think you can help?" Braze asked, his voice meek yet hopeful. In his eyes, there was a plea for more than just physical healing; it was a silent request for reassurance, for the kind of comfort that only a trusted friend could provide in a moment of weakness.

 

[Shan Pavond]

"Of course I can help. Just relax, okay?" Shan kept a small thin lipped smile on his face at that, putting a hand on Braze's shoulder. The good one, not the one with the broken wrist. Just gently leading the younger Padawan over towards a chair for Braze to sit on, whilst the Mirialan searched through his robes for what he was looking for. Sure, he could just heal the broken bone normally but...Braze seemed worried and highly nervous so Shan would much rather deal with that as soon as he could.

"Give me a minute. Alright?" With that, Shan pulled out his healing crystal once he had found it, and went to work using the Force to try and heal Braze's wrist. Accelerating the healing process slowly but surely. Sure, he could use his Thontinn crystal as well, but he felt like that would be a bit overkill at this moment of time. "I won't ask how you've gotten this injury. But you should really tell Jasper, if you haven't already."

Shan had learned first hand how worried Masters can get about their padawans. He still felt awful about worrying Kahlil after he had been captured by the Sith. He knew his master cared for him, so he could only imagine how Jasper felt for Braze. Especially since Jasper seemed incredibly caring with Lilise back when they were being taught by Jasper alongside Ko.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Shan Pavond

​

"Ah... maybe later on I will... I don't really feel up to talking about it with him right now. I'm trying to actively dissociate from the experience at the moment," Braze replied, his voice carrying a hint of strain.
"Could we, uh... talk for a bit?" he asked, wincing slightly as he felt the healing crystal's effects beginning to take hold. He furrowed his brow a little more, shaking his head and drawing in a small breath to cope with the uncomfortable sensation. "Maybe you can tell me about how you've been lately? I would really appreciate the distraction."

 

[Shan Pavond]

"Of course. I don't mean right now. I've just seen from experience how worried our Masters can get for us." Shan focused on his healing for a moment, before glancing up as Braze asked to talk, and Shan just...shrugged his shoulders. When he focused on his healing, he shoved his concerns into the back of his mind. "Well...I've been doing well, I suppose. Minus the whole...getting back from being kidnapped by the Sith. My mother being kidnapped. My father trying to shoot me in the face. Just...y'know. Usual stuff." He shrugged his shoulders once again. "I'm fine though. I'm always fine. As long as I'm alive, I'm fine. There's people who aren't alive. Who deserve to be. So I can't be upset." Shan just rambled on, in a rather emotionless tone as he just kept his focus on Braze's wrist.

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Shan Pavond

"You're not fine... that's what people who aren't fine usually say," Braze observed gently, his voice tinged with concern. He could sense the underlying turmoil behind the facade of being 'fine,' a common mask many wore when grappling with inner struggles.

"I'm sorry you're dealing with so many problems," Braze continued, his tone softening further. He shifted slightly in discomfort. "If you want to talk about any of those, I'm here," he offered, leaving the door open for Shan to share as much or as little as he felt comfortable.

"We can't change the past, Shan," Braze added thoughtfully, his words carrying a hint of empathy. He understood that while they couldn't rewrite history, they could find ways to cope with its impact on the present.

Changing the subject to something potentially less heavy, Braze inquired, "How are your trials going? Have you started any of those yet?" His question was an attempt to engage Shan in a topic that might be both relevant and less emotionally charged, offering a subtle shift away from the immediate heaviness of their earlier conversation.

 

[Shan Pavond]

"It's fine. Seriously. Talking about the problems hardly ever solves them. You just have to keep working. That's what I do. I work to help others. I work to give myself a reason to believe that I deserve to be alive, when so many others aren't." The Mirialan was still in his professional mode right now. His voice just being ever so slightly...sterile for lack of a better term. It would cause too much problems for him right now if he worried about his thoughts.

"I know the past can't be changed. Only the future. Our actions cause ripples in the future, that we are always yet to realise until they happen. Sometimes the ripples are gentle. Sometimes they can be like a raging storm, ready to wash everything away as well." It went with his whole philosophy of the Force. An unending sea that washed over everything around it. That could always drag those who aren't careful down into its murky depths.

Though then the conversation when to trials, and Shan frowned for a moment. Taking a moment to think about it. "None officially. But I suppose I've done the trial of the Flesh and trial of courage when I fought on Thule. If I had beaten the Sith Lord...Maybe it would have counted as my trial of Skill. Oh well. I also faced the Trial of Spirit I believe...when I purified a Sith's lightsaber." He shrugged his shoulders afterwards, trying not to dwell on those thoughts. Nyaeli hadn't been on his mind for a while. He had...bigger problems to worry about, than someone he had wanted to redeem.

 

[Braze]

Shan Pavond

Braze's expression shifted to startled concern as he listened to Shan. His head tilted slightly, reflecting his deep thought and the genuine care he felt for his friend.

"What do you mean, 'to believe you deserve to be alive'?" Braze asked, his frown deepening. His tone carried a hint of naive innocence, a characteristic of his young age. "You don't think you deserve to be here?" The question was asked with a sincere perplexity, as if the concept was completely foreign to him.

Braze stepped back and tore his hurt wrist away from Shan's grasp and shoved his shoulder., the small snowy haired mite seemingly upset.

"Shan, you do deserve to be alive! To be here... even if you weren’t a healer or a Jedi," Braze stated with a soft yet firm conviction. "You don’t have to justify your existence. The very fact that you exist is reason enough that you deserve to live." His words were heartfelt, spoken with a passion that belied his youth.

Braze's eyes were earnest as he continued, "Life is special, Shan, and it goes by quickly. Don't for a second think you don’t deserve to be here." His voice was infused with a fervent passion, as if he was latching onto the concept with all his might.

"I'm really lucky to know someone like you. You've made a difference in my life, and I'm sure in the lives of many others. You matter, Shan, more than you might realize."

 

[Shan Pavond]

"I am alive through pure dumb luck. I made friends with the right people." The Mirialan frowned as Braze took his wrist away and then proceeded to shove Shan, as Shan folded his arms along his front, staring down the white haired padawan unflinchingly. Normally, Shan might have backed down but unfortunately, the lessons he had been given to stand up for himself meant that he was a lot more...firm in his beliefs about himself and other people.

"Plenty of other Jedi on Thule were tortured. Killed. Used for potentially vile experiments. And I only survived because I was friends with Cora. So that's the only reason I'm still here." He shrugged his shoulders afterwards, not sure what else to say about the matter. It was nice to hear that someone said he deserved to be here, but it wasn't going to be that easy to just solve his problems. Sure, he was starting to feel better from other people. Braze had helped slightly. Then Kahlil and Valery. Alongside Colette. All of them had been helping Shan to feel better in his own way...but he wasn't there. Not quite yet.

"Now just give me your arm so I can get you on your way." Shan held his hand out for the wrist, keeping a small frown on his face. He hadn't signed up for therapy. At least not yet.

Braze

 

[Braze]

Shan Pavond

Braze, feeling a surge of emotion, responded. "Surviving through friendship isn't just 'dumb luck,' Shan. It's about the bonds we form. Being friends with Cora wasn't just a coincidence; it was a part of your path. It's unfortunate what happened to the other but you cant blame your self for that or think less of your self because of it either. Shan, but that doesn't diminish your worth. You're here because you're meant to be here, not just because of Cora."

Braze's eyes held a fiery spark as he continued, "I know it's tough, but you're more than your past, more than just a survivor from Thule. You have value, Shan, and it's time you started seeing that."

He extended his arm, as a gesture of trust. "Here... I came to find YOU. Not any one else. YOU. No one else. Just Shan because you're some one I trust , some I belive in and some one I look up to. "